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Tag: Alistair Overeem

“We Pull No Punches” Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…


(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.) 

A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.

franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.

skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.

P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.

Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.

RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.

mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.

BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.

And now, to the winners…

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[UPDATED] Win a CagePotato Signature Shirt in the Return of the Caption Contest!

We’ll be the first to admit that sometimes, we’re so busy trying to report on the day-to-day happenings of the MMA world that we occasionally (re:often) lose sight of some of the benefits of being an MMA site that dabbles in everything from lowbrow to subpar comedy. Mainly, our ability to give out free shit to the funniest Taters trolling the comments sections (or the forums if they are really, really lonely).

That’s why we are proud to announce that, in honor of our mobile site finally being up and running, we will be bringing back the caption contests and comments of the week on a regular basis here at CagePotato, in the hopes that you guys will stop treating us like the goth kid with psoriasis at the MMA lunch table. Believe it or not, as sour as your opinions often are, we still enjoy hearing them, especially when they come in the form of a relentlessly dark or unnecessarily crass assessment of a candid photo.

Our newest caption contest awaits you after the jump, and we will be giving our signature “We Pull No Punches” shirts (pictures below) to the top three entries. So feel free to swing for the fences on this one as many times as your heart desires.

And today’s photo is…

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If Alistair Overeem Says He’s Clean, We Should Totally Believe Him, Right?

By George Shunick

Alistair Overeem has plenty of haters out there. Haters saying stuff like “He’s a cheat,” or “He uses steroids,” or “All of his recent accomplishments are tainted because his entire heavyweight career is a byproduct of unnatural chemical enhancements.” Also “Leave the horses alone!”, though that’s just PETA, and they hate on everyone so they don’t really count. Well, Alistair Overeem has something to tell all the haters (except PETA) out there: he’s clean.

That’s right, let’s cease all this hurtful speculation; Alistair Overeem is without a doubt, 100% clean. Never did steroids, never will do them. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know what they’re talking about. That time he tested positive for his then-upcoming fight with Junior Dos Santos with a 14:1 testosterone-to-epitestosterone ratio? That was the fault of a completely reliable and not at all sketchy doctor who injected testosterone into Overeem — without his knowledge! — which is totally standard for anti-inflammatory injections. I don’t see how anyone would need a more satisfying explanation than that.

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According to Alistair Overeem, Alistair Overeem Will Be Fighting in December


(As Dennis Reynolds once said, “I’m not gonna take no for an answer, because I just refuse to do that. Because I’m a winner, and winners… we don’t listen to words like ‘no,’ or ‘don’t,’ or ‘STOP!”) 

Either our math is a little off, or Alistair Overeem has literally gotten so strong that he can both fly and alter the very fabric of time using the power of his centrifugal forces. Because, according to a recent tweet sent out by “The Reem,” the former Dream and Strikeforce heavyweight champion will be back in action this December, despite the fact that he received a nine month suspension just under two months ago:

Well at least he gave you fair warning, Amish communities of Florida.

As he was told in his April hearing, the earliest Alistair could reapply for his license would be December 27th, meaning that the earliest he could compete would be in the UFC’s always loaded New Year’s Eve card, exactly one year after he demolished Brock Lesnar at UFC 141.

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Rumor: Brock Lesnar Will Return to the UFC by the End of 2012


(Inferior heavyweight contender, or marketing genius?!) 

Perhaps we’re in the minority here, but we’re getting pretty God damn sick of mixed martial artists throwing around the word “retirement” like Kim Kardashian throws around the word “marriage.” Because retirement, like marriage, is a sacred institution, and nowadays it seems as if every other fighter is taking a big, steaming turd on what was once holy ground. In the past year alone, both Jamie Varner and more recently B.J. Penn have retired, only to come out of said retirement before anyone could even assess their retirement in the first place. Though the jury is still out on how long Nick Diaz and Jason Miller will be out of action, it’s looking like you can add none other than former heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar to the former list, as it has been reported by co-Host of Tough Talk on wrestlingobserver.com, Mike Sawyer, that Lesnar will return to the UFC within the year. He broke the news over his Twitter:

Mike Sawyer ?@TOUGHTALKMMA
Had an interesting conversation with someone VERY close to all the Brock Lesnar stuff. He is fighting THIS YEAR in UFC & not Frank Mir…

Mike Sawyer ?@TOUGHTALKMMA
plans change all the time, but the name I was told isn’t Roy.

Brian ?@FrontRowBrian
If it’s not Mir fighting Lesnar in UFC later this year as @TOUGHTALKMMA reports, who is it? @roynelsonmma? @stefanstruve? @ShaneCarwin II?

Mike Sawyer ?@TOUGHTALKMMA
one of the above.

For those of you with the memory capacity of Sammy Jankis, Lesnar announced his retirement from the sport following his first round TKO loss to Alistair Overeem at UFC 141. UFC 141 was a mere six months ago.

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Quote of the Day: Dana White on Drug Testing — “We’re Sorting it Out”


(Who’s got at least one thumb and is going to royally screw me over in the future? THIS GUY.)

Ever since Alistair Overeem cost the UFC one of the biggest fights of the year by pissing dirty at his surprise UFC 146 drug test, it seems like Dana White has been a lot more adamant about the necessity of drug testing fighters on a regular basis. Whereas his attitude toward testing could previously be construed along the lines of “we’re doing the best we can, but we can only do so much,” it seems that The Baldfather has really begun to step up his game, so to speak. In fact, during a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, White made a promise that before too long, the UFC will be drug testing fighters themselves in order to try and limit the amount of positive tests per year:

The steroid, [performance-enhancing drug] thing affects the whole sport. The key is to make sure these guys never get on it, because once they do, they change. The problem with Overeem is that I want to sit in a room with him man to man and believe him. He told me before he ever fought for us, ‘Don’t worry, I’m the most tested athlete in sports.’ But I think we have about 42 fights a year … you have a guy or two popping [positive tests] here and there, that’s a pretty good ratio…. Yes, we’re going to do our own testing, order these guys into [a lab]; we’re sorting it out now. You have to do this to save the sport. You can’t have these guys fighting on this stuff.

So there you have it, Potato Nation. It looks like a day may finally come where we don’t have to worry about the Ubereem’s of the world spoiling our mid-summer blockbuster cards. Then again, illegal steroids were sooo last year, nowadays fighter’s just call it “therapy” and we collectively put our heads in the sand.

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Moving Up In Weight: The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly


(Overeem, before adding horse-meat and anti-inflammatory meds to his diet.)

By Josh Hutchinson

Whether it’s Jon Jones wanting to move up to heavyweight, or everyone wanting Frankie Edgar to cut to 145, weight-class-shifting is a hot topic for MMA fans and pundits alike. And while we’ve recently covered the perils and benefits of dropping to a lower weight class, the same can be said for moving up in weight. After jumping to heavier divisions, some fighters’ proverbial stars have shined brighter, some have dimmed, and some have gone God-damn-supernova — and it’s never easy to predict which fighters will have success. Check out some notable examples below, and tell us which other fighters you think would do well with some extra meat on their bones.

The Good

Alistair Overeem

(Same guy as above, same backdrop, and yet something is different…)

All insinuations aside, Overeem is a prime example of success at moving up a weight class. As I previously mentioned, Overeem has gone 12-1-1 since making a full commitment to heavyweight, and while the quality of opponents he faced was often questionable, that is still a hell of a good run. If you take a look back at his time at light-heavyweight, the stats are not nearly as impressive. Overeem’s losses usually came at the hands of the light-heavyweight division’s top guys, like Chuck Liddell, Antônio Rogério Nogueira, and Ricardo Arona. His run at light-heavyweight showed that he couldn’t hang with the elites of the respective weight class, and was vulnerable to being manhandled by stronger opponents.

After doing whatever it is he did to bulk up, he turned his fortunes around and achieved the greatest stardom of his career, becoming the poster child for successful jumps up the weight-class ladder. If it wasn’t for some bad decision-making, he would be fighting for the sport’s highest prize this weekend. Here’s to hoping he gets his shit together soon.

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Nick Diaz’s Request for Injunction Against NSAC Suspension Denied

UFC welterweight Nick Diaz recently filed suit against the Nevada State Athletic Commission, asking for an injunction against their summary suspension of the fighter for his February failed drug test. Yesterday, a district court judge in Clark County denied Diaz’s request for the injunction.

Diaz’s attorney Ross Goodman previously claimed that the NSAC had breached statutes and his right to due process, arguing that the NSAC no longer had jurisdiction over his situation. Nevada Attorney General Catherine Cortez Masto then tried to publicly debunk the argument. Now that Diaz’s injunction has been denied, he can appear before the NSAC in a hearing set by the athletic commission on May 21st. (Check out MMAFighting’s report for more details.)

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Why Frank Mir vs. Junior Dos Santos Is the Best-Case Scenario for UFC 146


(In defense of Dana’s flip flop, who could say no to that face?)

By Josh Hutchinson

As some of you may remember, I recently attempted to make a case for why Alistair Overeem vs. Junior Dos Santos had to happen at UFC 146, testosterone-levels be damned. And though that fight didn’t quite pan out, we’ll instead be treated to an even better fight that evening in Frank Mir vs. Junior Dos Santos (assuming that no other weird shit happens beforehand). That’s right, I said even better. “But you just tried telling us why the UFC needs to keep Overeem vs. Dos Santos,” I hear you screaming. To that extent I have two retorts. The first being that apparently my hypocrisy knows no bounds. The second being that a quick look at Frank Mir vs. any of the other potential replacements makes the case loud and clear. Take for instance the man that Mir is officially replacing…

Alistair Overeem

Yes, Overeem and Dos Santos would have been an epic slugfest, with a near-guarantee of someone being knocked stupid, but if you look at the quality of opponents the two men have faced in recent years, the nod clearly goes to Mir. Since moving up to heavyweight full time, Overeem has compiled a record of 12-1-1, which while sounding impressive, is actually rather deceiving. The majority of the fighters he beat in those twelve wins resemble less of a contender list, and more of a “MMA Fighters: Where Are They Now?” list. I of course am talking about guys like Paul Buentello, Tony Sylvester, James Thompson, Brett Rogers, you get the point. Frank Mir on the other hand, has been wading through the UFC’s heavyweight elites since UFC 34 back in 2001, picking up big name wins like Tim Sylvia (before he was a joke), Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (2x), Cheick Kongo, and others. Besides there is still a great chance of seeing someone get knocked the hell out. We all know Dos Santos likes to do it, and if you ask guys like Cro Cop and the aforementioned Nogueria, Mir likes to dabble as well.

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UFC Lightweights Clay Guida and Mark Bocek Are Not on the Same Side of This Whole TRT/Alistair Overeem Debate

Clay Guida beer bong Lake Havasu funny MMA photos UFC
(In a rare misstep for Guida, he had no idea that the beer bong he was offered actually contained Four Loko. There were no survivors.) 

It seems that you can’t come across an MMA interview these days that doesn’t bring up the Alistair Overeem situation. The phrase “testosterone replacement therapy” has been thrown around in more MMA blogs within the past month than the name “Tim Tebow” on your average Sportscenter episode, and that’s saying something. Is it a coincidence that both phrases emphasize the “T” sound? We think not.

Being the laid back, no worries, Winnebago-loving kind of guy that Clay Guida is, he was much more willing to forgive Overeem when speaking to MMAWeekly about the situation yesterday, believing that a lot of the blame should be placed on that of his coaches. And in case you’re wondering, he managed to relate the situation to the lion-esque mange that sits atop his head:

Yeah, Alistair not knowing that there is testosterone in his vitamins, is like me not knowing what kind of conditioner I’m putting in my hair. I’m not going to put the complete blame on him, I’m going to put it on his coaches, and, maybe not his team necessarily, but his trainer and this and that and whoever maybe slipped him a Mickey or whatever you want to call it. I’m a fan of the guy, don’t get me wrong, but, I think they had plans elsewhere or whatever it may be, but, it’s a bummer that the main event in one of the biggest cards of the year is going to be kind of tampered with, just because you know, they got careless and maybe they didn’t have all the belief in themselves, so. I just stick with my regular stuff. The fruits and vegetables, fish oils, glucose and stuff like that you know? I’ve never been big on supplements on stuff like that you know? I just take natural stuff.

Fish oil, eh? And here we thought he was drinking whiskey shooters and vodka cranberries this whole time.

It turns out that fellow lightweight contender Mark Bocek, ever the stickler, was not too pleased that Overeem received only 9 months for his botched surprise drug test, going as far as to say that any fighter needing TRT (or marijuana for that matter), shouldn’t be fighting in the first place:

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