(Let’s remember the good times. Props: Old, Bald, & Irish.)

First EliteXC tanked, leaving Gina Carano without an organization to call home.  But if that wasn’t enough of a kick in the ovaries, American Gladiators has also been cancelled.  We can’t say we didn’t see it coming, but it’s sad nonetheless.  If only the new American Gladiators could have captured some this kind of magic from the old AG, maybe they’d still be around.  Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  Not only does this mean we may never again see “Crush” tossing old ladies around in a unitard, it also means Hulk Hogan is being released back into the wild, so look out.  

But just when all Carano’s revenue streams look to be drying up, it sounds as if Dana White may actually be serious about getting her signed.  The UFC prez told Five Ounces of Pain’s Gary Herman that Carano, Robbie Lawler, and Jake Shields are all former EliteXC fighters he’d like to sign.  He also chastised fighters for signing with “fly by night companies,” saying they were “wasting their time.”

There you have it, young fighters not in the UFC.  Don’t sign with organizations other than the UFC or you’ll be wasting your time.  Just keep fighting one-offs in tiny regional shows for almost no money.  Then, after the UFC signs you and later cuts you, it won’t be so hard to re-adjust to your life of poverty and despair.  See?  Circle of freaking life.

(Eric “Butterbean” Esch vs. Wesley “Cabbage” Correira)

The K-1 World Grand Prix 2008 went down Saturday at the Stan Sheriff Center in Honolulu, with Turkish kickboxer Gokhan Saki cruising through the event’s eight-man tournament thanks to three consecutive knockouts of Deutsch Puu, Rick Cheek, and Randy Kim. The GP’s quarterfinal round featured a match between Eric “Butterbean” Esch and Wesley “Cabbage” Correira, who previously fought in an MMA bout at Rumble on the Rock 8, where Butterbean won a doctor’s stoppage victory after two rounds. This time the ‘Bean wasn’t so lucky, as he suffered a head-kick knockout in the second round, which dropped his K-1 record to 2-4.

Another fighter who didn’t make it to the semis was American Gladiator/kickboxer Justice Smith, who lost a hard-fought decision to Mighty Mo Siligia — Mo was unable to continue to the GP’s second round, and was replaced by alternate Randy Kim, who knocked out Correira in the semis before being put down by Saki in the finals.

In the non-tourney superfights, K-1 World Heavyweight Champion Badr Hari needed all of seven seconds to knock out Domagoj Ostojic, and Min Soo Kim outlasted one-time UFC fighter Scott Junk to a unanimous decision win. Full results and video of the Hari/Ostojic knockout are after the jump. Props to MMA Mania and Bloody Elbow.

Video of the day, y’all: On a recent episode of American Gladiators, Gina “Crush” Carano proved that she gives no quarter to the elderly, absolutely brutalizing a grandmother named Yoko in the “Pyramid” event. Honestly, watch that toss at 1:48-1:52 and remind yourself that what you’re seeing is real, and not a clip from a Wayans Brothers comedy. I don’t know about you, but if that was my grandmother, I’d be fucking furious. Additional comic relief is provided by Yoko’s bridge-and-tunnel opponent, who mocks Yoko’s accent and shouts “IT ENDED EARLY!” at the Gladiator who just kicked her ass (Panther, which she pronounces as “Pantha”). My God, why haven’t I been watching this show?!?

It wasn’t just American Gladiators that kept Gina Carano from making weight on Friday. “Conviction” had also been busy filming live-action interlude scenes for Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3, which will be released for Xbox 360 and PC in October. Here’s the promo, which shows her dressed as her character “Natasha.” (Hopefully she’ll have a terrible Russian accent in the game to go along with that name.) Warning: The cheesiness level on this one is HIGH.

(Props: EA via Kotaku via reader Trevor E.)

Here’s Gina Carano’s segment from yesterday’s ESPN E:60, in which we learn that “Crush” got into kickboxing after one of Kit Cope‘s trainers called her fat, she’ll be appearing in EA’s new Command and Conquer video game, she’ll never do Playboy, and Tara LaRosa still can’t stand her.

Related: MMAPayout reports that ESPN is launching an online MMA news show this Thursday, which will be hosted by Kenny Florian for the first two weeks. Said MMAPayout: “The program’s launch was apparently delayed by the UFC’s insistence that it be exclusive to the UFC.”

Heads up, “Crush/Conviction/Beautiful Disaster” fans — Gina Carano will be featured on today’s ESPN E:60, which airs at 7 p.m. ET/4 p.m. PT. A sample clip is above; after the jump is a recent American Gladiators promo where Crush reveals she prefers pizza to sushi, and can’t watch love scenes because she’s single and it’s hard to see other people in love. Awwww! :’ (

Here’s the short follow-up to E:60‘s profile on Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson that aired last December. To answer the first question you’ll have after seeing this: Blood and Bone is about a drifter who gets caught up in a mob-controlled street-fighting ring. It’s Kimbo’s first acting role, and the flick also features appearances by Bob Sapp, Gina Carano, “Justice” and “Toa” from American Gladiators, and coincidentally, another guy named Kevin Ferguson. It will be released, probably straight-to-DVD, sometime later this year. And hey, why not check out the trailer after the jump.

(Erin Toughill, limbering up before a pill-induced rage.)

In a development that will set female American Gladiators back ten years, MMA fighter Erin Toughill — who will be appearing alongside Gina “Crush” Carano in the next season of the spandex-and-ball-cannon freak show — was slapped with a restraining order last week by her husband Clark Bevans, who also happens to be an MMA fighter. As TMZ reports:

[Bevans] claims Toughill went “insane” with jealously, and accused him of being “a pedophile, sociopath and homosexual.” Aside from allegedly beating him on several occasions, Bevans claims Toughill smashed the windshield of his RV. He also says Toughill “bodychecked, hockey style” a trainer at Gold’s Gym he had dated years before. … Bevans has filed for annulment. As for the restraining order, it was granted.

Sadly, that description only scratches the surface. Combing through the criminal report reveals the most amazingly batshit craziest bits. For example:

— “Over a twelve month period, during and after our marriage, Respondent obtained over nineteen (19) prescriptions for NORCO, a narcotic similar to “Oxycontin.”

— “We both came clean about dating other people during our separation…lmmediately after the “coming clean” session, Respondent went insane that I had dated others, despite the fact that she slept with two of my best friends and is currently engaged to a fellow marine friend of mine. Since then, Respondent tapped into my cell phone and has harassed, stalked and threatened most of the people that she found in my text messages (women). Said parties include my attorney, my hairdresser, my manager, various employees, a restaurant owner and her daughter and even the janitor at Gold’s Gym. She has even gone around and accused me of sleeping with my friend Andrew.”

— “On April 4, 2008…Respondent arrived at Shear Talent Hair Salon, barged in at 10:15 a.m. and yelled ‘Who’s Shelley Smith?’. Ms. Smith is my hairdresser. l had not seen her in over a year. A couple of days prior, via text message only, we confirmed a haircut appointment for me at 11:00 a.m. for the 4th. Respondent then yelled out – ‘Great, just wanted to see the bitch that was fucking my husband while we were married.’ [ed. note: LOFLZ!] When I arrived and learned all of this from Ms. Smith and others in the salon who were shaken up, I realized that once again, Respondent is accessing my T-Mobil account.”

Wait, it gets better…

(Gina Carano poses for her Glamour Shot.)

Slow-ass news day, people. But help is on the way. Here are a few MMA-in-the-media bits you may want to check out. Consider it TV Guide for MMA.

— The lovely Gina Carano (aka, Crush from “American Gladiators”) is slated to fight in perhaps the biggest battle ever for women’s combat sports when she fights Kaitlin Young on May 31st for CBS’ ElieXC broadcast. It’s only a few weeks away and Crush is currently shooting “American Gladiators” while training for her next MMA fight — in fact, she’ll be taping the show right up until two weeks out from her CBS fight. MMARated had a solid interview with Carano recently where Gina chats about her busy schedule as well as trying to successfully juggle fighting and show business.

“I’m just going to try it out and I think that I can do it. I just feel like I’ve put my fighting off long enough and I don’t want to keep doing that because that’s where my heart is and that’s where my passion is. And I wanna, you know, be right to the fans of the sport and continue on fighting so I had to decide: I could be super busy for, you know, two months and try to double-team it.”

Ariel Helwani, MMARated’s interviewer, specifically referenced Lennox Lewis being distracted from fighting while shooting on Ocean’s 11, as well as Chuck Liddell’s “acting career”. Good point, but at least Gina’s Gladiator job involves some sort of training and physical activity. However, not training in MMA full-time and only having two weeks to hit it full-force could spell trouble for Gina — and on a national stage. Wonder what a loss at that level would do to her “AG” job status?

Good news, Potato Nation: MMA/American Gladiators star Gina Carano will be taking a break from making us cry. EliteXC announced today that Carano has been booked for their May 31st CBS debut, and will face Kaitlin Young, a 4-1 fighter hailing from the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. Most notably, Young won an eight-woman HooknShoot tournament last November, knocking out three opponents in the same night, all within the first minute of the first round. [Ed. note: Holy fucking shit! Mo chuisle!] So basically, Gina’s gonna want to protect her face.

Also officially announced today is a bout between undefeated brawler Brett Rogers — who most recently knocked out James Thompson at “Street Certified”— and fellow heavyweight John Murphy. Meaning that the tentative main card, at this point, looks like this:

Kimbo vs. TBA (heavyweights)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (for middleweight championship belt)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (weight limit TBA?)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo “Ninja” Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

Ooh, feel our goosebumps! The booking of Carano was clutch, as it adds a second mainstream-ish star to the network broadcast. We don’t know how much green Gary Shaw had to promise in order to lure the semi-estranged Carano back into the fold, but if it helps put EliteXC over with a skeptical CBS audience, it’ll be worth it. The only question is, has Crush been getting in enough MMA training between pugel-stick jousts and zip-line rides?

Speaking of which…

“It wasn’t a kick, it was a step” — awww, how adorable! Of course, if it was Wolf on the platform, there would be no sheepish avoidance of guilt. The dude would be like, “Hell yeah I kicked you in your fool head, that’s what happens when you step into the Wolf’s Den, ahhWOOOOOOOOOO!” Anyway, let’s hope Gina tries to use that excuse after soccer-kicking a downed opponent in her next MMA match…

(Props: 5 Oz. O’Pain)

Late last year, the lure of Hollywood came calling for Gina Carano. Though she was one of the brightest rising stars in MMA — not just female MMA, but MMA in general — she decided to forsake her undefeated record and career momentum, signing on to star as “Crush” on NBC’s remake of American Gladiators. Metaphorically speaking, she gave it up to the first guy with a flashy car and a slick pick-up line.

It was tragic, for a number of reasons. Carano’s been a role model to untold numbers of young women, proving that you can retain your femininity while still being tough-as-nails, but she’s taken a hiatus from fighting to suit up in Spandex and do silly things above pools of water. In other words, she’s reinforcing the idea, held by too many young Americans, that doing stupid shit on national TV has more value than doing something worthwhile in relative obscurity.

I’m sure part of the reason Carano took the Gladiators role, besides the money, was to promote herself as viable television talent; if not acting roles, Carano could surely score hosting gigs post-AG for shows in the vein of Fear Factor or Wild On. The problem is, in all the press and promo clips we’ve seen for the show, Carano’s name is rarely mentioned. Instead she’s just “Crush,” a Gladiator, a Warrior; she’s occasionally identified as some sort of pro fighter, though her legitimate MMA pedigree is never discussed. Any hopes that her presence on the show would be a good thing for MMA should by now be deflated.

So when I see this clip of her on The Today Show this morning, standing next to a ridiculous man-beast named “Wolf,” half-naked in 40-degree weather, being swatted with a pugel stick by Ann Curry, getting chastised by Matt Lauer for getting too rough with another NBC fluff-piece reporter, and having to deal with Meredith Viera’s minstrel dress-up antics (the housewives love that shit), I just hope that they’re paying her enough to deal with this humiliation. And I hope that diehard “Beautiful Disaster” fans take her back when the guy with the flashy car and pickup line moves on to the next pretty face…

(Thanks to 5oz. for the heads-up.)

(Don “Wolf” Yates — the reason the “Amber Alert” was invented.)

Judging from the two minutes I watched, pretty fucking terrible. I was surprised at how similar the show looked to the ’90s version — same games, same scoring system, same pre-op transsexuals. But again, I only caught a couple minutes, and didn’t see Gina “Crush” Carano once. If we missed anything important, let us know in the comments section.

NBC.com has posted photos of MMA star Gina Carano (“Crush”) in her American Gladiators uniform, along with pics of her fellow castmembers. We gotta say, our girl is looking good — unfortunately, she’ll be sharing screen time with she-beasts like “Hellga”:

Good Lord. You bang that woman in a dream, you better wake up and apologize…

Apparently tired of being America’s most highly regarded female mixed martial artist, Gina Carano has decided to to try her hand at firing tennis balls from a cannon. The American Gladiators blog (yes, such a thing exists) reports that “The Beautiful Disaster” has joined the cast of the legendary athletic competition show, which is being re-made by NBC in light of the ongoing WGA writer’s strike; AG premieres on January 6th, and Carano’s gladiator name will be “Crush.” Her fellow female gladiators — Siren, Stealth, Venom, Helga (?), and a pre-op transsexual named Fury — all come from a bodybuilding background. No word yet on who will play the deaf one.

It’s sad to consider it, but this is undeniably the beginning of the end of Carano’s MMA career. Nobody would put themselves through the humiliation of crawling around inside a metal hamster-ball while wearing hot-pink spandex unless they had network television ambitions to begin with. Carano most likely saw Gladiators as her ticket to a guest spot on Law and Order: SVU, followed by roles in romantic comedies as Sandra Bullock’s younger sister. And I really hope it’s worth it for her, because her hiatus/retirement would mean that women’s MMA loses its marketable mascot. So let’s all be bitter at Gina, and console ourselves with the fact that she’ll be spending the winter dealing with douchebags like these:

(Mike “Titan” O’Hearn)

(Don “Wolf” Yates)