sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

Tag: Anderson Silva

The Greatest Erotic MMA Fan Fiction of All Time


(Come up with your own caption, perverts. / Photo via Getty)

UFC Fight Night 56 happened last night and it was pretty boring. During the lull in action, we wondered if there was a prominent MMA fan fiction scene. It turns out there was! The only drawback: A vast majority of the stories featured prominent fighters having sex with other prominent fighters.

We’re not really sure how to say this with our characteristic irreverent tone, so we’re just going to flat out say it: There’s a shit load of MMA slash fic out there. We found it. It’s…well, you need to see for yourself. We don’t like to exaggerate in the headlines but this stuff is far out.

Please don’t construe this as us trying to insult the author. We’re the guys who watch Ultimate Surrender, so we can’t judge how anyone gets their rocks off. We just thought these stories were kind of funny. We think it’s great someone is passionate enough about MMA to write this kind of stuff, honestly. Here are some excerpts from the more wild stories:

Read More DIGG THIS

Anderson Silva Hospitalized for Lumbago Following Training Session


(“OW OW OW NOT NORMAL.” / Photo by Esther Lin, MMAFighting)

UFC middleweight star Anderson Silva was rushed to a hospital yesterday evening after collapsing to the floor following a workout at XGym in Rio de Janeiro. Silva complained of severe back pain and temporarily could not feel his legs. Doctors confirmed that Silva had suffered a bout of lumbago, a relatively common low back pain disorder, and he was discharged this morning.

According to Brazilian MMA Athletic Commission medical director Dr. Márcio Tannure, Silva should make a quick recovery, and his UFC 183 fight against Nick Diaz is not in jeopardy:

He felt a sharp pain because of contracture. It hurts a lot, really, but it will not change anything in terms of training. The problem he had justified the pain, but it will not result in a withdrawal or cancellation of the fight.”

Anderson Silva has yet to make a public statement about the matter, although three days ago he was hyping up something called The Spine Chair as “the best chair.” I hope you kept your receipt, dude.

Read More DIGG THIS

Anderson Silva and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua to Coach The Ultimate Fighter Brazil 4


(“Yes, baby, it is *so* normal.” / Photo via Getty)

The UFC has confirmed that Brazilian MMA legends Anderson Silva and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua will serve as opposing coaches on The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil 4, which will begin filming early next year in Las Vegas and feature bantamweight and lightweight contestants. Open tryouts for the season were already held in Rio on Monday, with a reported 600 fighters showing up to get a shot in the TUF house.

Before you get too excited — no, Silva and Rua will not be fighting each other at the end of the season. (Bummer.) So instead of using the show to hype up a rivalry, they’ll focus on passing on knowledge to younger fighters. As Silva stated in a press release:

“I think I can offer this next generation of Brazilian talent real insight into what it takes to succeed in the UFC. I will bring everything I know about the martial arts, and my own values of what it means to be a martial artist, to my team.”

Said Shogun:

Read More DIGG THIS

UFC 179 Videos: Aldo vs. Mendes Highlights, Conor McGregor and Anderson Silva Are Called Out + More


(Jose Aldo vs. Chad Mendes UFC 179 highlights, via UFC on FOX)

In case you missed the action on Saturday night, check out this video recap of the five-round war between Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes at UFC 179 in Rio. Aldo came out of the fight looking worse for the wear, but took four out of five rounds on all three judges scorecards.

Below: Aldo and Mendes are interviewed after the bout, and the champ discusses the late-punches controversy at the end of round 1. Aldo lands a great diss on Conor McGregor — “I’m the king, Chad’s the prince, and now we have a joker” — while Mendes just promises to kick McGregor’s ass.

And speak of the devil…

Read More DIGG THIS

Why Nick Diaz Has Everything to Lose Against Anderson Silva at UFC 183


(Silva vs. Diaz fan-made poster, via Shawn James)

By legendary CagePotato commenter/lurker “Old, Bald and Irish”

Of all of the upcoming matchups on the horizon for the UFC, one of them stands above the rest: Nick Diaz versus Anderson Silva at UFC 183.

Now, if this match happened two years ago, the hype would be off the charts. But today, the MMA community is looking at this event with curiosity rather than fevered passion. Sure. Eyeballs will be on this fight — mostly to see what Anderson Silva will look like in the ring following his horrific injury. But Nick Diaz as his opponent? Eh…maybe not so much.

What the hell happened?

It was just a short year-and-a-half ago when the MMA world was going wild for UFC 158: St-Pierre vs. Diaz (aka UFC 158: CANADA!…America’s Hat). This was MMA alchemy at its finest. Georges had defended his belt seven times and was clearly the king of his weight class. Nick was the trash talkin’, dope smokin’, Nashville brawlin’ fanboy favorite.

UFC 158 pulled in 950,000 pay-per-view buys. Not too shabby, especially compared to the buyrates the UFC has been pulling in lately. Both guys had hardcore MMA fan heat going in, but after St-Pierre dismantled Diaz, it proved what we pretty much knew going into the fight: Georges is a better wrestler, striker and tactician than Diaz. Period.

After beating up a past-his-prime BJ Penn, the “super fight” with St. Pierre did nothing to help Nick’s reputation. Quite the contrary, it damaged it even more and showed why Diaz isn’t on anyone’s Top 10 P4P list anymore. Now, after retiring “for realz” and spending nearly two years out of the cage (*COUGH* “ring rust” *COUGH*) Diaz is coming back to take on one of, if not the, greatest fighter in MMA history. What?

I’m looking for Nick’s silver lining, but short of a pot-fueled-double-middle-fingered-gogoplata or a pants-shitting-KO, I don’t see an upside for the scrappy pugilist from Stockton. Let’s take a few moments to be negative bastards and look at the probable and unfortunate near-future for the elder Diaz…

Read More DIGG THIS

VIDEO: Anderson Silva Discusses His UFC Comeback at Press Conference in Brazil


(Props: UFC on YouTube)

The UFC hosted a press conference earlier today in Rio de Janeiro, in which former middleweight champion Anderson Silva and his coaches answered questions about the Spider’s return to fighting. Silva, who will take on Nick Diaz at UFC 183 in January, was very complimentary about Diaz’s skills in the cage. He also stated his desire to earn the UFC middleweight title again, and hopes that Vitor Belfort beats Chris Weidman in their upcoming fight so that the belt returns to Brazil. Also, a bunch of reporters ask Silva about the condition of his leg. It gets pretty repetitive in the beginning, so be prepared for that. Short version: It’s no problem, it will not break again.

Coincidentally, today is the eight-year anniversary of UFC 64, the event where Anderson Silva first became UFC middleweight champion by knocking out Rich Franklin. At 39 years old, can Silva remain a title threat in the year 2015?

Read More DIGG THIS

Gamblers Beware: The Early Odds for Anderson Silva vs. Nick Diaz Are…Not That Crazy, Actually


(Wait…Nick Diaz IS WHITE?!!! via r/MMA user joenottoast)

The MMAsphere suffered a collective Scanners.gif headsplosion when it was announced that Nick Diaz would be returning from a brief hiatus/retirement to face Anderson Silva at UFC 183 in January. While most of us were undeniably stoked at the idea of seeing Diaz Stockton Slap the G.O.A.T and/or seeing Silva unleash a Hadouken on Diaz’s jabroni ass, there were a few naysayers out there who were quick to dub this fight a “freak show” or “squash match.”

“Are you kidding me? Silva’s going to murder this chump!” said one Twitter expert whose name I cannot recall.

Pssh, Silva is done. The only thing left to do is have Diaz beat him into retirement,” said another, angrier group of tweeters in response.

And indeed, with Silva’s leg and Diaz’s mind remaining in constant question, the superfight has fiercely divided MMA fans who mistakenly fancy themselves psychics. But the important question, as is always the important question in these cases, is: What do the bookies think?

The answer might surprise you…

Read More DIGG THIS

Anderson Silva vs. Nick Diaz Booked for UFC 183, January 31st in Las Vegas


(More arm-gestures than you’ve ever seen in a 25-minute fight…GUARANTEED. / Photos via MMAFighting, Getty)

Hold on to your asses, fight fans. The potential Anderson Silva vs. Nick Diaz superfight has just become a freakin’ reality.

UFC president Dana White just announced on Sportscenter that Silva vs. Diaz is now official (!) for January 31st in Las Vegas. The five-round fight will serve as the main event of the UFC 183 pay-per-view card, and will be held at middleweight. A venue for the card has yet to be announced.

We have very few other details right now, but here’s a photo of Dana and Anderson smiling together.

No other fights have been confirmed for UFC 183 at this point, not that it matters — they already have our money, damn it.

Read More DIGG THIS

Nick Diaz Re-Signs With UFC (!), Anderson Silva Fight Possible for February 2015 (!!!)


(Your father would be so proud of you right now, Nick. / Photo via @danawhite)

The bad boy is back, baby. The UFC announced this evening that welterweight star Nick Diaz has signed a three-fight contract extension, and will tentatively return to action in early 2015, against an opponent to be named later. (Probably not Joe Riggs.)

Diaz has been “retired” since his decision loss to Georges St. Pierre in their title fight at UFC 158 in March 2013. Since then, the Mayor of Stockton™ has popped up here and there to threaten folks with an ass-whoopin’, but refused to return to the UFC unless it was for a title fight. Luckily, a 16-month vacation has changed his opinion. Sort of. Here’s what Diaz said to UFC.com about his current goals and what he’s been up to lately:

“I’ve been doing a whole lot of not getting punched around-type stuff,” Diaz said Thursday afternoon at UFC headquarters. “I’ve been staying in shape pretty good, doing a lot of running. It’s been a good experience having this much time off.”

The target for Diaz and the UFC is to get him back in the cage early next year, but the confident 30-year-old fighter said he’d be ready to fight tomorrow.

“Next year I guess, whatever though. I can fight tomorrow; tonight,” he said. “You have to do what you have to do. … [I came today] to sort things out with Dana White and Lorenzo [Fertitta].

Read More DIGG THIS

CagePotato Roundtable #33: What is the Greatest One-Minute Fight of All Time?


( *sigh* They just don’t make squash matches like they used to. Photo via Getty.)

How good can a fight *really* be if it ends quicker than Michael Bisping’s prom night? That’s just the question we’re trying to answer this week, and we’ve got a whole slew of special guests to help us: Sydnie Jones of WomensMMA (making her second CP Roundtable appearance), Tim Burke (formerly of BloodyElbow), MiddleEasy Editor-in-Chief Jason Nawara, and MiddleEasy writer Nick Robertson. The topic: What is the Greatest One-Minute Fight of All Time? Join us for yet another thrilling CagePotato Roundtable, won’t you?

Ben Goldstein

Anderson Silva vs. Chris Leben is an obvious pick, I know. The 49-second demolition from Ultimate Fight Night 5 has been anthologized in dozens of Internet lists — from “Worst Game Plans of All Time,” to “Most Spectacular UFC Debuts” — and kicked off the greatest win streak in UFC history. It’s a flawless victory, in the Mortal Kombat sense of the phrase.

Coincidentally, Silva vs. Leben synchronizes perfectly to my favorite under-a-minute song of all time, “Wasted” by Black Flag, which is officially listed at 51 seconds, but includes about two seconds of dead air at the end. For your convenience, I’ve overlaid the Silva vs. Leben fight with “Wasted” in the video above, so you can see what I mean.

The whole thing is fast, dumb, and violent, just like MMA at its best. And when Leben collapses to the mat at the end of the fight, as Keith Morris shrugs off the final line “I was wasted,” it’s such a perfect summary of Leben’s persona. He’s reckless, self-sabotaging, often intoxicated, always driving forward with no regard for the consequences. He’ll wake up the next morning with a massive headache, take a couple bong rips, and go skateboarding without a helmet, because fuck it, if it’s your time to go it’s your time to go.

Honorable mention: Ronda Rousey vs. Alexis Davis, which is the “I Like Food” by the Descendents of MMA fights.

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA