(That’s “The Predator” all right. I’d recognize those cheeks anywhere.)

Well, we’re officially disturbed. This picture of Patrick Cote, um, blowing off some steam(?) was sent to us by mini at hithiphop.com and we immediately wished we had never seen it. So we did what any responsible internet types would do: we forced it on you, our readers. Enjoy your nightmares.

We don’t begrudge a guy his right to have a few too many (at least we hope alcohol was involved) and do things he’ll later wish he hadn’t. But when we picture the guy who’ll finally bring Anderson Silva’s tremendous winning streak to an end, this isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.

More pictures are after the jump…if you dare.

(Image courtesy of MMA Fight Girls.)

— Rachelle Leah’s nude Playboy pictorial hits newsstands October 17th…and will probably hit this website shortly after.

— It looks like Cain Velasquez (4-0) has found his next opponent. The heavyweight up-and-comer will reportedly face London Shootfighters product Mustapha Al-Turk (6-3) at “UFC Fights for the Troops” (December 10th; Fort Bragg, Fayetteville, North Carolina). Al-Turk, who recently signed a four-fight contract with the UFC, is the current Cage Rage British Heavyweight Champion; like Velasquez, all of his wins have come via first-round stoppage.

— TUF 7 embarrassment Jesse “Mongo” Taylor has booked his next fight against another UFC vet who famously can’t keep his shit together. He’ll be facing Drew Fickett at Total Combat 32 on October 2nd, at the Syucan Casino near San Diego. Total Combat claims that the card will be televised on MTV3 (?).

— The UFC is planning to hold its first show in the Philippines next summer. Lorenzo Fertitta was blown away by the rabid public response to an appearance by Chuck Liddell at the Mall of Asia in Pasay City on Sunday, saying “Chuck is a rock star over here…We’re probably more mainstream in the Philippines than we are in the US. We’re going to be moving the show around the world, and we’re creating the UFC global footprint.”

— BetUS.com has established the odds for UFC 90′s Anderson Silva/Patrick Cote scrap as -800/+425, with the Spider as the runaway favorite, obviously. Once Cote’s line gets up to about +16,000, we’ll consider throwing a sawbuck on him.

Shocking news from InTheGuard.tv:

UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva was recently interviewed by Brazilian cable channel SporTV. The TV show [Sensei SporTV], featuring Spider, will air on September 27, but the editors released a shocking excerpt from the interview with Silva, when the champion spoke on his retirement from MMA:

“I’ll retire next year, I already gave my all. I don’t need to prove anything for anyone and within one year I’ll put my gloves aside.”

We’ve often heard stories of the mythical Athlete Who Retires at His Peak, but we’ve never actually seen one. Hopefully, this is just Silva’s way of pressuring Dana White to let him fight every month. But more likely, he feels he’s accomplished as much as he can in his career without fighting friends. Silva has repeatedly shot down the idea of a fight with WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho, and has also said that he won’t challenge for the UFC’s light-heavyweight title because “this belt is Lyoto’s.” So what does that leave besides retirement? If we’re lucky, it means superfights with Georges St. Pierre and a couple of light-heavyweight stars before he rides off into the sunset.

Going out when you’re on top? What a concept…

(Shannon Gugerty finishes fights. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

— Without an opponent due to Thiago Silva’s recent back injury, Lyoto Machida has been officially removed from UFC 89′s lineup; an undercard bout between Shane Carwin and Neil Wain will now be bumped up to the pay-per-view broadcast. As one rumor goes, Machida could potentially face Mauricio “Shogun” Rua in November or December.

— Patrick Cote is tired of the American media disrespecting him by discussing who Anderson Silva should face after the Spider inevitably kicks the crap out of the Canadian challenger at UFC 90. You might not believe this, but Cote said he’s “ready to shock the world.” Wow…could we have been wrong about this fight all along?

— Melvin Guillard has been forced to drop out of his UFC 90 bout with Spencer Fisher for undisclosed reasons. Replacing him will be Shannon Gugerty (11-2), the City Boxing product who made his UFC debut at “Silva vs. Irvin” in July with a first-round choke-out of Dale Hartt.

— The UFC may have found its next light-heavyweight gatekeeper, reportedly signing Italian UWC/Cage Rage vet Ivan Serati (10-2) to a multi-fight deal; he’s expected to make his first Octagon appearance before the end of the year. Serati has won his last four matches, and started his career with five straight victories by stoppage (all in under a minute) before losing to Vitor Belfort via TKO at a Cage Rage event in April ’07.

— UFC.com just published a feature about Evan Tanner‘s greatest UFC moments. Read and reflect.

(Posing for a quick photo before heading into surgery.)

In a new interview with Tatame, WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho swears that he’s over his depression and better than ever heading into a rematch with Chael Sonnen. As you might recall, Filho struggled with the blues and the drugs a while back before pulling out of a Sonnen rematch and checking himself into rehab. To hear him tell it, the treatment took, but he’s none too happy with Sonnen running his mouth to the press, even suggesting that the fight would never actually happen:

American people has big mouths… Sonnen should have said it to me, and not put this things in media, I think he doesn’t wanna fight me again, lose another arm…

All right, Paulo, let’s get something straight. I don’t appreciate you disparaging a whole nation of people based solely on Chael Sonnen. That’s like us saying the Brazilian people have trouble with drugs and depression. When in fact, they are actually a very jovial people and their drug use is for the most part purely recreational. See? So it wouldn’t be fair.

That said, it was a pretty sweet burn about him losing another arm. And I guess we do have big mouths. Then again, aren’t you the same guy who, later in the same interview, said this about Anderson Silva’s upcoming fight with Patrick Cote:

Anderson will win, and I know it’ll be easy and fast. Cote isn’t fight for Anderson Silva, he’s a level above.

Not saying I disagree, but that sounds like something a guy with a big mouth might say. Once more, it’s those nice Canadians who end up getting treated the worst.

(‘Heyyyyyy.’)

Now that he’s finally injury-free and ready to fight, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua is setting his sights high for his return to the Octagon. Rua told Fighters Only that he’d like to be the first to beat Rashad Evans following his impressive knockout of Chuck Liddell over the weekend:

“Rashad fought the perfect fight, he obviously studied Chuck and worked hard on his game plan,” he said. “He may be undefeated but everyone is there to be beaten and I would like to be the first one to do it.”

Of course if he can’t get that fight, he’ll take Rich Franklin, who’s also coming off a win. Apparently “Shogun” is not deterred by the fact that he’s coming back from a long injury layoff, or that his last time out didn’t go so well. Maybe it might be a better idea to ease back into it. I hear Matt Hamill’s schedule is pretty open.

- In other Brazilian fighter news, UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva told Tatame that there is absolutely no chance of him facing WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho even after the heavier weight classes are absorbed into the UFC. Silva called Filho “the best middleweight,” saying “there’s nobody to beat him.”

It probably helps that they’re buds:

“I would never fight with Paulão. We almost train together, we’re always helping each other and (Josuel) Distak is our coach. There’s no chance to happen. People can complain, scream, whatever, but it won’t happen.”

You heard the man. You might as well stop your constant complaining and screaming for Silva-Filho, because it ain’t happening. Just let it go and move on with your life. Somehow.

Right off let’s get one thing straight: I don’t want to see Rich Franklin retire. I like Rich Franklin. His wacky personal views aside, he seems like a good guy and an exciting fighter. I’m not trying to hustle him into retirement, though I see how it might seem that way. Here’s what I wrote in yesterday’s Si.com article:

Franklin, who moves up in weight in an attempt to revitalize his career as a 205-pounder, made the best choice. If he can’t beat Matt Hamill on Saturday, though, that glimmer of hope will also fade, leaving him with a choice between retirement and a steady fall from mediocrity. Neither road is appealing, but at least one is more dignified.

All right, that sounds like I am totally trying to hustle Franklin into retirement. Perhaps I should have phrased it more delicately. Our reactionary Canadian friends at Fightlinker think so, and I see at least part of their point.

For the record, I expect Franklin to beat Hamill. He expects the same thing, or at least that’s what it sounded like when he described Hamill as a good first match-up in the division because he is “not one of the top 10 205-pound fighters.”

If he wins, there’s certainly no reason for him to consider retirement. Even if he gets held down for three rounds, he can still chalk it up to a bad style match-up and make a lateral move in the division for his next bout. But there’s another question at the heart of this. What happens when a fighter goes from great to good? If you aren’t moving up, are you necessarily headed down?

(The good, not-so-old days…)

The way Dan Henderson sees it, this fight with Rousimar Palhares is just a step he has to take in order to get that rematch with Anderson Silva. In a recent interview with Yahoo! Sports he admitted to not knowing who Palhares was when he accepted the fight — though he did some internet research and figured it out — and then went on to diagnose what went wrong for him against “The Spider” and how he plans to remedy that the next go-round:

“He’s got holes in his game,” said Henderson, who won the first round of the fight, before getting tired and being submitted in the second round. “He’s very athletic and can get away with it. I felt my conditioning was off. I got a little tired and didn’t push the takedown in the second round. If I’d have gotten it, I’d have won the round. I should have been more aggressive when I had him down in the first round. I didn’t expect to finish him so I didn’t try. I was looking to win the round.”

First off, it’s pretty generous to go ahead and attribute the loss entirely to fatigue in the second round. It’s true that Henderson did look to have Silva somewhat figured out in that first round. Trouble is, championship fights go five rounds, and if you don’t plan to finish someone, you’d damn well better be ready to go all five.

But it does remind us that Hendo is still a credible middleweight title challenger at a time when the UFC is desperate for them (no offense, Patrick Cote…okay, a little offense). When viewed through that prism, Henderson-Palhares is suddenly a lot more interesting. Can Henderson show that he’s got his cardio act together, and is thus deserving of another shot at Silva? Will fans give a damn if he does, or is Silva too far out in the stratosphere of pound-for-pound brilliance for the UFC to drum up sufficient interest in rematches with people he’s already beaten?

We’ll have to wait and see, but if Henderson goes out on Saturday and throttles Palhares, don’t be surprised if it’s followed by Mike Goldberg doing the old UFC hard sell on Henderson as number one contender. First he has to win the fight though, and preferably look for a finish this time.

(‘You dance very good, little woman. You are negative for the STD’s, yes?’)

Poor Anderson Silva. The UFC middleweight champ just can’t find enough playmates in the UFC middleweight neighborhood. Yes, there’s that nice Patrick Cote boy, but then what? Silva is basically being forced to go door to door and ask, in broken English, if there are any middleweights or light heavyweights who can come out and play. Next up could very well be Chuck Liddell, according to Silva’s manager, Ed Soares:

“I think he wants to fight those big mega fights because that’s the kind of fight we want to be involved with right now,” he said about Silva’s future fights. “I think it’s a combination of seeing what the potential opponent is and also seeing what the UFC wants to do. At the end of the day, this is a business, and they need to sell fights. They need to sell a lot of pay-per-views, and they need to sell tickets. So, we want to be involved with those types of fights.”

“We’re not looking past Patrick Cote, but I think we’ll take one step at a time and see what happens. But yeah, if a Chuck Liddell fight came up, we’d take it,” stated Soares. “Whoever the UFC wants to put in front of us, he wants to fight the best, and whoever that may be at the time, that’s who he wants to fight.”

The very idea of a Silva-Liddell superfight is probably enough to give Dana White an erection, and for good reason. The pay-per-view numbers on this would likely be record-breaking, and no matter how it goes someone gets a big boost. Liddell, however, is probably a little less enthusiastic.

For one, he recently made known his belief that a victory over Rashad Evans should be enough to net him a title shot. Chances are he didn’t mean the middleweight title. For another, beating the champ from a lower weight class is sort of like being the toughest kid in eighth grade after being held back a year. There’s always a ‘but’ attached to that victory.

Silva has more to gain from this fight than Liddell does, but if there’s one thing we know about “The Iceman” it’s that he’ll do the UFC’s bidding, whatever it happens to be. He’ll also probably make a ton of money to do it, and everyone can go home fat and happy if this fight materializes on a pay-per-view at year’s end.

(Just one girl? Must have been a slow week for Chuck.)

- Chuck Liddell makes his case for a title shot after UFC 88. (MMA Weekly)

- Trying to make sense out of Elite XC’s crazy week. (MMA Rated Radio)

- Chris Horodecki-Dan Lauzon officially on for Affliction: Day of Reckoning (Sherdog)

- Evan Tanner is not a big fan of MMA, as this half-assed UFC 87 breakdown reveals. (Spike.com)

- Dana White and Anderson Silva nominated for “Top 49 Men of 2008″ (AskMen.com)

- How MMA saved JoJo Thompson’s life. (AZCentral.com)

- False blood work prompts fighter and trainer suspensions. (MMA Opinion)

- The most marketable names in sports. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Frat boy movie review of “Death Race.” (Screen Junkies)

- A harrowing tale of the days before internet porn, and how Kate Moss almost ruined everything. (Holy Taco)

(You thought the fight was messy…)

Three KJ Noons stories in one day? It feels like that episode of “The Twilight Zone” where everyone looked like pigs except for the one blonde girl, only instead of everyone looking like pigs they’re all talking about KJ Noons, which is even crazier. I don’t know who would be the blonde girl in this analogy, but you get the point.

Insane though it may be, this is too good not to report. You remember the deadline put forth by Jared Shaw? Where he said KJ Noons had until 5 pm today to agree to the bout with Nick Diaz, and if he didn’t he would face the dreaded “public opinion” as a consequence? Well, get your opinions ready, because according to Noons’ manager, Mark Dion, they aren’t concerned in the least with Shaw’s ultimatum:

“The update on [the deadline] is nothing is going to happen with it,” Dion said. “That’s what’s going to happen with that. I don’t care about how many threats [Shaw] wants to pull. We’ll be doing a press conference if EliteXC doesn’t see the light here pretty soon and if Shaw doesn’t stop talking [expletive].”

“As far as Nick Diaz, he’s not the No. 1 contender out there,” Dion said. “To [EliteXC] he is. He’s the number one (for getting) eyeballs to (watch) them. They’re pushing on eyeballs versus a career move for a champion like KJ. KJ is really not the one who gets anything out of the fight. Diaz does and so does ProElite.”

“We’ll do a press conference to discuss everything,” Dion said. “But there’s nothing in it for KJ unless [EliteXC] finally wakes up a little bit. That’s why we’ll have a press conference. I don’t like to talk and beat a company that’s already beat down. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully they’ll see the light.”

Looks like the relationship between KJ Noons/Mark Dion and Elite XC/Jared Shaw just went from unfriendly to straight-up hostile. Dion just had to go and mention that Pro Elite is struggling. That’s like bringing someone’s mother into the argument. Now this thing is personal.

According to the Pioneer Press:

Former Gophers wrestler Brock Lesnar, who is 2-1 as a mixed martial arts fighter, found out this week that Ultimate Fighting Championship would like him to compete next on a November card, but his opponent and site remain undetermined.

That November card (also known as UFC 91) will reportedly go down on 11/15 in Portland, Oregon, with a bout between Kenny Florian and Joe Stevenson likely to be on the lineup. The most prevalent rumor regarding Lesnar’s opponent is that he’ll be facing Cheick Kongo. In other UFC news…

— Anheuser-Busch has tapped Chuck Liddell and Anderson Silva as spokesmen for Bud Light. Which is kind of strange considering both of them are nearly unintelligible without a translator.

— A lightweight bout between Rich Clementi and Gray Maynard is slated for UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago). Clementi has won his last six fights, including a submission of Anthony Johnson at UFC 76 and a decision win over Terry Etim at UFC 84. Xtreme Couture’s Gray Maynard increased his record to a perfect 5-0 with his unanimous decision over Frankie Edgar at UFC Fight Night 13 in April.

— Dana White will be appearing on A&E’s Mindfreak next Wednesday at 10 p.m. According to UFC.com: “With the use of a blindfold, a knife and a deck of cards, Criss attempts to teach UFC® President Dana White first-hand how to do a prediction of his own. Can Dana pull off a little magic with the help of the Mindfreak?”

(Props: MMA Rated via Bloody Elbow)

I only have one thought looking at this photo from yesterday’s UFC 90 press conference in Chicago: Anderson, you’re wearing a pink-and-white polo shirt — would it kill you to pop that collar?

Even in his fey-frat-boy gear, the Spider still cuts quite an imposing figure, and Patrick Cote knows that no matter how the fight ends, he’ll be looking pretty messed up afterwards. He makes peace with that idea in the AOL Fanhouse video below, and also states that he wants to fight Silva at his healthiest. Which works out well, because Anderson Silva doesn’t get sick — sick gets Anderson Silva.

Just as Kenny Florian won’t be sitting on the bench until BJ Penn decides to give him a title shot, Penn also wants to get another fight in by the year’s end, even though Georges St. Pierre has said he doesn’t plan on returning to the Octagon until 2009. According to a report by MMA News, BJ’s brother JD has confirmed that the UFC’s lightweight champ is back in the gym and training for a fight in December, and his fight against GSP will likely be pushed back until February 2009 when the UFC holds it’s Superbowl Weekend card.

So maybe a Penn/Florian title fight at the end of the year is still a possibility? Then again, JD’s claim that BJ will fight in both late December (against TBA) and early February (against GSP) is so unlikely it’s barely worth discussing.

The good news is, the UFC’s year-end card could wind up being so stacked that it doesn’t even need a high-profile BJ Penn fight in the lineup. Besides the heavyweight title match between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir, NBCSports has suggested that a superfight between Anderson Silva and Chuck Liddell as well as a light-heavyweight title match between Forrest Griffin and Wanderlei Silva are both outside possibilities. (It’s also been reported that the UFC is trying to set up a fight between Quinton Jackson and Wanderlei Silva for a November event, despite Silva’s preference to fight on the December card.)

Potentially related: If Tyson Griffin beats Sean Sherk, he wants Kenny Florian next.

(You’d be smiling too if you sold $2 million worth of tickets.)

Just a few hours after tickets for UFC 90 at Chicago’s All-State Arena went on sale, roughly 80% of them were snatched up. This means that by the time the UFC’s press conference for the event on Monday was over they’d already pulled in around $2 million in live gate money. All this for an October 25 event featuring Anderson Silva against Patrick Cote (rest his soul) and Diego Sanchez taking on Thiago Alves. It’s safe to say the UFC will be returning to Chicago frequently from now on.

Even with such early success Dana White went ahead and poured on the hyperbole at Monday’s press conference:

”This is a bold statement in a town with the White Sox and Cubs and the Bears, but I guarantee you this will be the most exciting live sporting event you have ever seen,” White said. ”I can’t explain it to you. You have to experience it.

”The closest thing that comes to it is when Mike Tyson was in his heyday. There was so much excitement about someone getting knocked out.”

After that last remark we imagine that White looked over at Cote, shrugged, and silently mouthed “Sorry!” before continuing on.

White also vowed that UFC 90 would be the highest-grossing event in the arena’s history, edging out Wrestlemania for that honor. Then they moved on to discuss Thiago Alves’ problems making weight, which we’ve all been assured won’t be a problem this time around, even though he’s currently about thirty pounds over.

In a final bit of UFC 90 news, Mike Swick is expected to be added to the card, though an opponent has not yet been named.

(“Indeed I did have a relationship with methadone that was not appropriate.”)

In a letter received by the Nevada State Athletic Commission yesterday, James Irvin admitted using methadone and oxymorphone prior to his July 19th beatdown at the hands of Anderson Silva; Irvin had tested positive for the heavy-duty painkillers in a post-fight piss-test. As the Sandman wrote:

“In the days leading up to my fight with Anderson Silva, I experienced some residual pain in my foot from a previous injury. I made the extremely poor choice to take some pain medications that I did not have a prescription for. I realize this was an ignorant and dangerous decision.”

Irvin, who tore his ACL and MCL during a fight with Thiago Silva at UFC 71 in May 2007, also broke his foot earlier this year while preparing for a scheduled fight against Rashad Evans, which was to go down at UFC 85. According to Sherdog, Irvin accepted the Anderson Silva fight only days after re-entering the gym following his recovery period from the foot injury. Irvin has been temporarily suspended by the NSAC pending a disciplinary hearing, and likely faces a longer suspension and a fine.

Plenty of people seem upset about Brock Lesnar after UFC 87. Maybe it’s because of his antics at the end of the fight. Maybe it’s because of his post-fight remarks. Maybe it’s because he won, or because everything about him reminds you of the guy who put you upside down in that trash can back in high school. We all have our reasons, is what I’m saying, even if they may be bad ones.

I’ll admit that I didn’t get a whole lot of joy out of watching Lesnar control Herring on the mat for three rounds. It wasn’t exactly a thrilling bout, athletically speaking, and his ‘ride-em cowboy’ routine was the kind of thing I hate about pro sports. But at a time when the UFC’s heavyweight division suffers from a general dearth of talent and interesting potential matchups, hate-ability may be just what we need right now.

What we have in Lesnar is the type of guy who various martial arts were created in order to protect against. He’s big, strong, fast, and aggressive. He’s all natural ability, and not so much technique at this point. His personality is abrasive, to put it mildly — the kind of guy you run into at a bar and think, ‘I’d kick your ass, if only you weren’t so big.’ What’s more, he seems to really enjoy being that guy.

After his display following the victory over Herring prompted some anger from MMA fans, Lesnar responded:

“That was just me. I was just excited. That was for Heath’s camp. I had the last laugh and the last words to say. I might’ve went a little overboard. If I offended anybody then I’m sorry…uh, not really!”

What’s not to love?

In this video of Cung Le fielding questions at a seminar of some sort, the Strikeforce middleweight champ gives the lowdown on his relationship with the UFC (skip to the 0:47 mark). Apparently, Dana White wants to lock him into an exclusive six-fight contract, but Le still has three fights remaining on his Strikeforce contract — even though Strikeforce would be willing to let him fight Anderson Silva in a one-off match. (White, obviously, doesn’t play that shit.) But then it gets interesting. Speaking about Silva, Le says:

“Anderson Silva is pound-for-pound ranked number one, but what I see is, all four of his losses are all by Asians…those Asians are not scared of him, so they will come in and they will engage the fight. Now, everyone in the UFC who’s fighting him, they’re fighting scared. I mean, I’m gonna go in there, I’m either gonna win or I’m gonna lose. It’s how am I gonna win or how am I gonna lose. And when I walk out of there I want to be able to carry my head high, because if I happen to lose, I gave it my all…It’s like, I have nothing to lose. What can they say? Anderson Silva is favored to win. I got nothing to lose.”

He then goes off on a tangent about how much of a lush Quinton Jackson is, and how he watched Rampage down 14 Jack-and-cokes in one sitting. But never mind that. The important thing is that Asian fighters are kryptonite for Anderson Silva! Well, if you count Silva’s DQ against Yushin Okami as a legitimate loss, and if you count Luiz Azeredo as Asian, then sure, the statement totally holds water. But hey, when a fight with the Spider lurks in the distance, you comfort yourself with the little things.

Related: “He has very nice ankles, I like pulling on them.”

(Props: MMA Mania and MMA Scraps)

Check out this preview clip from Countdown to UFC 87, which starts off with Roger Huerta recounting his awful childhood. Kenny, Heath, Brock, Jon and Georges also stop by to say hello. Props to Bloody Elbow.

From MMA Scraps, here’s the video of Anderson Silva’s boxing debut against Julio Cesar, which took place in Salvador, Bahia, Brazil, on 8/6/05. Fight starts at the 10:02 remaining mark, and the inevitable TKO comes just two rounds later. Plus: Some showboatin’ footwork, extreme ring girl ass, and a cameo by the Nogueira brothers.

After the jump: One of the greatest MMA highlight videos you’ll ever see.

You thought it couldn’t get worse for James Irvin after his 61-second destruction at the hands of Anderson Silva at UFC Fight Night 14. You were dead wrong. Turns out Irvin’s post-fight urine sample was positive for both methadone and oxymorphone. That’s right, methadone, as in what they give to help recovering heroin addicts. And that’s also right, oxymorphone, the semi-synthetic opiod that is 6-8 times more potent than morphine. Damn, James Irvin. Sup?

Because this is undoubtedly a rough time for “The Sandman” we’ll refrain from jokes suggesting that if he was on these narcotic pain relievers before the bout with Silva, he may have to rob a pharmacy to get through his recovery afterwards. Instead we’ll just say that we’re very curious to hear an explanation and to see what steps the UFC and Nevada State Athletic Commission will take with something like this. Irvin has twenty days to respond and contest the results, or else it’s likely to be fine and suspension time.

Both drugs are considered “banned substances”, but are they performance enhancing? Will he suffer a suspension and fine similar to Nick Diaz, who the NSAC accused of being so doped up (on weed, no less) that he was virtually impervious to pain?

Guess we’ll wait and see. In the meantime, let’s just be glad that everyone else who was tested on the card came back clean.

Update: Justin Levens also tested positive for oxymorphone before the Affliction card that he didn’t even fight on (his bout was scratched due to time issues). He’s been fined $1,000 and is suspended until January 15. All without stepping into the ring.

(Patrick Cote: Dead man.)

The UFC has informed the Chicago Sun-Times that UFC 90 (October 25th @ Chicago’s Allstate Arena) will be headlined by a middleweight title bout between Anderson Silva and Patrick Cote. Get a load of how retarded Cote is:

“This guy will need 10 punches to my face to knock me out, and I’ll just need one,” Cote said. ‘”I have a good chance. He won’t exchange with me, and I’m not scared of him.”

Absolutely nothing in the above statement is accurate. And if that 10/1 ratio thing that “The Predator” mentioned sounds familiar, it’s because James Irvin said something idiotically similar before getting his lights turned out — with one punch! ha! — in his fight against Silva. But don’t worry, because Cote knows that the secret to defeating Anderson Silva is head movement:

“If you want to know how not to fight Silva, just watch tape of [the Silva/Irvin] fight,” Cote said. “He was flat on his feet with no head movement. He threw a lazy kick against a world-class Muay Thai fighter, and that’s what happens. I’m not like James Irvin. I’m a better striker, and I’m faster.”

Translation: Cote isn’t making it past the first round. In other UFC news, Five Ounces of Pain is reporting that if Georges St. Pierre successfully defends his welterweight title against Jon Fitch next month, he’ll face BJ Penn on December 27th, at a yet-unnumbered UFC event that is also slated to feature the heavyweight title clash between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir. One theory making the rounds is that the Penn/GSP match will be a non-title affair that will be marketed as a “battle of the weight divisions.” As cheesy as that sounds, there’s a certain logic to it — assuming the fight is contested at welterweight, it would seem a little unfair for GSP’s belt to be on the line but not Penn’s. We just hope that the UFC has special “superfight rules” in place that would make Penn vs. St. Pierre five rounds instead of three. More to come…

(One of these men fought Anderson Silva on Saturday — can you tell which one? Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Affliction’s next show will maybe be held on November 8th, maybe in Atlantic City, and Aleksander Emelianenko maybe doesn’t have hepatitis. (MMA Junkie)

Anthony Johnson’s agent Ken Pavia is going to formally appeal Rumble’s loss via eye-pokes. (Five Ounces of Pain)

Frank Shamrock says he’ll fight Robbie Lawler in November if Lawler beats Scott Smith this Saturday. (CBS)

UFC Undisputed will allow fans to see exactly how UFC matchmaker Joe Silva ranks each division’s fighters. (Bloody Elbow).

If you like watching things that are boring but sort of historic, then this video of Forrest Griffin being laid on by UFC legend Dan Severn for three rounds is a must-see. (MMA Scraps)

Anderson Silva is kinda bummed that he fucked James Irvin up so hard. (The UG)

Anybody wanna buy the Chicago Cubs? (Wall Street Fighter)

If you feel like blowing a half-hour, check out this collection of 81 amazing animated gifs. Rampage and Minowaman make an appearance! (Holy Taco)

…so said Silva’s manager Ed Soares, when asked by ProMMARadio about a potential Georges St. Pierre/Anderson Silva superfight:

“That sounds great, I think GSP is an incredible fighter. But I think GSP needs to prove himself. He still hasn’t had a successful title defense (at 170 lbs.). I don’t really feel that he deserves (a Silva fight) yet. Go defend your title a few times and then we’ll talk.”

The thing is, St. Pierre has proven himself many times over to be an elite-level fighter, and Soares is veering uncomfortably close to Juanito Ibarra territory, wild statement-wise. But what makes his dismissal of GSP particularly ironic is that Spider’s next fight is likely going to be against Patrick Cote, who doesn’t deserve to be in the same room as Silva or GSP. With Yushin Okami suffering a broken hand, Cote is really and truly next in line for a title shot; that little shitshow could happen at UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta).

A relatively one-dimensional striker, Cote doesn’t bring any more to the table than James Irvin did, and their bout will almost certainly be another brief exhibition for Silva. The silver lining is that with this belt-defense obligation out of the way quickly, Silva will be free to “test the waters” at light-heavyweight again — and he does plan on fighting at least one more time before the end of the year.

Sort of related: “UFC Silva vs. Irvin” was a ratings smash. The broadcast averaged 3.1 million viewers, peaked at 3.8 million viewers, and according to SpikeTV, beat all basic cable and broadcast networks in that timeslot for the “males 18-49″ and “males/females 18-34″ demographics.

(Photo courtesy of the UFC.)

The UFC’s impromptu SpikeTV card cost them $623,000 in fighter payroll, the breakdown of which is below (props to MMAJunkie). Looks like Anderson Silva is now making a lot more than he did for his last fight, though that could just be a one-time bump for helping suck some of the interest from “Banned.” Here are the numbahs:

Anderson Silva: $200,000 (no win bonus issued)
Brandon Vera: $200,000 (includes $100,000 win bonus)
Frankie Edgar: $51,000 (includes $13,000 win bonus and $25,000 “Fight of the Night” bonus)
CB Dollaway: $45,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus and $25,000 “Submission of the Night” bonus)
Hermes Franca: $42,000 (includes $25,000 “Fight of the Night” bonus)
Rory Markham: $37,000 (includes $6,000 win bonus and $25,000 “Knockout of the Night” bonus)
James Irvin: $20,000
Tim Credeur: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Reese Andy: $15,000
Cain Velasquez: $14,000 (includes $7,000 win bonus)
Jake O’Brien: $11,000
Kevin Burns: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Brad Blackburn: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Anthony Johnson: $9,000
Nate Loughran: $8,000 (includes $4,000 win bonus)
Jesse Taylor: $8,000
Cale Yarbrough: $8,000
Shannon Gugerty: $6,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus)
Johnny Rees: $4,000
Brodie Farber: $3,000
James Giboo: $3,000
Dale Hartt: $3,000

Underpaid: Anthony Johnson, who pocketed less than the living wage of $10,000 to show, while having to suffer the insult/injury of losing a fight via multiple eye-pokes. Everyone whose base salary was under $8,000 can be considered “pathetically underpaid” — that’s 45% of the fighters on this card, by the way — except for Rory Markham, thanks to his Golden Foot.

Overpaid: Brandon Vera is turning into one of the most overpaid human beings on Earth, in any profession. And it hurts me to say it, because the dude used to be a walking highlight reel. Look for the UFC to renegotiate his contract at their first opportunity. Now they know better than to invest a six-figure contract into a “next big thing” heavyweight. Sucks to be you, Cain Velasquez — Vera just cockblocked your wallet.

(Courtesy of MMA-Core.com)

In case you’re wondering what a TKO via eye poke really looks like, here’s a close-up view from the Anthony Johnson-Kevin Burns debacle that you can watch again and again. Notice how, after the poke and the ensuing uppercut, the left hand that Burns comes back around with also has the fingers extended outward in poke-ready mode. I would suggest refining his punching technique, but it did result in him getting the win. As my grandfather used to say, if it ain’t broke, why not poke?

In other UFC Fight Night news, check out the below video of the post-fight press conference. Skip to 6:45 to hear Dana White give his take on Affliction and their fighters. Then he goes ahead and bashes the IFL one more time, mostly out of habit.

(Looks like Jesse Taylor picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

The UFC’s always fluctuating end-of-night bonuses totaled $25,000 apiece for Saturday’s “Silva vs. Irvin” event. The four lucky men who left the Palms one-fortieth of a million dollars richer are…

Knockout of the Night: Rory Markham for his skull-crushing head-kick KO of Brodie Farber.
Submission of the Night: CB Dollaway for his “Peruvian Necktie” choke of fellow TUF 7 castmember Jesse Taylor.
Fight of the Night: Frankie Edgar and Hermes Franca for their three-round tussle that Edgar took unanimously thanks to his takedowns and GnP.

The must-see Markham/Farber knockout is below, and the Dollaway/Taylor scrap is after the jump — and we threw in Cain Velasquez’s beatdown of Jake O’Brien for good measure. (If you find a working link for Edgar/Franca, please post it in the comments section.) Serious props to MMA TKO.

Videos removed by request…

Hello all and welcome to CagePotato’s live blog of “UFC Fight Night: Silva vs. Irvin” from the Palms Casino in Las Vegas. As the incontestable Mr. Goldstein mentioned yesterday, my name is Chad Dundas and I am the editor-in-chief over at www.mma-america.com, the mixed martial arts blog for the discerning gentleman. For the next few hours I’ll be your humble scribe here as we slog through the UFC’s bid to endanger Anderson Silva’s career in a needless and petty attempt to sideswipe the competition. Should be a kick.

Why exactly you’re reading the live blog of a show that’s on free TV, I’ll never know. But hey, it is my first time here and I’m not going to judge you. We’ll save that for later. Right now, we’re about ready to roll … right after the first of many 30 minute commercial breaks. Live round-by-round results from the event are after the jump; refresh your browser every few minutes for all the latest.

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com; more weigh-in photos here.)

MAIN CARD
Anderson Silva (206) vs. James Irvin (206)*
Brandon Vera (204) vs. Reese Andy (206)
Frank Edgar (155) vs. Hermes Franca (155)
Jake O’Brien (236) vs. Cain Velasquez (236)
Anthony Johnson (170) vs. Kevin Burns (171)
CB Dollaway (186) vs. Jesse Taylor (184)

UNDERCARD
Brodie Farber (171) vs. Rory Markham (170)
Johnny Rees (183) vs. Nate Loughran (183)
James Giboo (170) vs. Brad Blackburn (170)
Dale Hartt (156) vs. Shannon Gugerty (156)
Cale Yarbrough (186) vs. Tim Credeur (185)

* James Irvin initially weighed in at 207.5 pounds. He was allowed an hour to sweat off the excess and made it down to the one-pound allowance.

Remember, CagePotato will be running live results + commentary for both “Silva vs. Irvin” (starting at 6 p.m. PT / 9 p.m. ET) and “Banned” (starting at 5 p.m. PT / 8 p.m. ET).

(Props: BloodyElbow)

It’s surprising how similar Anderson Silva’s new light-heavyweight build looks compared to his old middleweight frame. In fact, trying to spot the differences between these two pictures is like playing the most boring game of Photo Hunt ever. Sure, his stomach is a little more filled out now and he changed his shorts, but then it gets a little tricky. Does his neck look bigger, or is that just the lighting? Is he retaining water in his ankles?

(Ladies go crazy for a sharp-dressed man, courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

One thing I’m going to miss with Gary Shaw backing into the shadows at Pro Elite is the name-calling and childish back-and-forth between he and Dana White. It was just so entertaining, what a shame to see it go. But the Dana White-Tom Atencio rivalry could be the next best thing. Sure, Atencio doesn’t wear a track suit, but he does have a wardrobe that appears to consist entirely of Affliction t-shirts, which is almost as good. Plus now he’s taking pages out of the Dana White playbook:

For the money-conscious cable-ready consumer, the difference between watching a free UFC show and paying $39.95 to watch Affliction might be a no-contest.

Affliction appeared to land one last counterpunch, however, making a deal to broadcast its card on closed-circuit television at Gold Coast casino, which is directly across from the Palms on Flamingo Road.

“It’s just another opportunity to watch our fight,” Atencio said.

Granted, it’s more of a symbolic gesture and not quite on par with scheduling an event on the same night as your competitor, but you have to love how Atencio — like White — plays dumb about it. The L.A. Times article actually has quite a few fun nuggets, most notably quotes from White where he plays the role of grizzled veteran MMA promoter: