(Does this look like the face of a man who is going to lose?…Probably. / Photo courtesy of Francis Specker)

By Josh Hutchinson

Well Potato Heads, we are staring down the barrel of what would on paper seem like another absurd mismatch for a PPV main event. (Speaking of which, is it just me or does it seem like freak show fights are making a comeback?) Now I could sit here and try to persuade you that this is a legitimate match-up, Stephan Bonnar totally has a chance, Anderson Silva’s heart is not in it, or some equally stupid defense as to why this fight needs to happen, but I like all of you far too much to insult your intelligence like that. For Christ’s sake, even the UFC’s official promo videos for UFC 153 are split between joking that Bonnar has no chance and not showing Bonnar at all, if that tells you anything. So instead I’m going to take a hypothetical look at what could happen if The American Psycho manages to pull off the unbelievable. Because let’s be honest, if it happens, the fallout will be of nuclear proportions. For instance…

Stephen Bonnar, The New Face of Burger King

Should Bonnar prevail, his stock will rise exponentially with sponsors. A miraculous victory over Silva would have Nike, Burger King, and many others reconsidering the amount of support and money that they have thrown at The Spider. At the same time, it would then be easy to spin Bonnar as a legend killer — and therefore a legend himself — and he can be sure to expect a few more 0’s on his future paychecks. To this point, BK has kept their Anderson commercials in Brazil, since American audiences apparently wouldn’t be able to handle a cage-fighting burger pitchman. Bonnar, with his good-guy-everyman image, could break through that wall. New commercial concept: Bonnar and Forrest Griffin get into a furious Stacker-eating contest that leaves both men exhausted, and the other restaurant patrons howling for a rematch.

Anderson Silva pulls a Gina Carano

(What’s more interesting to you — Donald Cerrone‘s wakeboarding career, or Tracy Lee‘s chest? / Video via AlienwareChannel)

- Stephan Bonnar Feels He Can ‘Shock the World’ at UFC 153 (MMAFighting)

- EXCLUSIVE: UFC On Fuel 5 Fight Night Photo Gallery (HeavyMMA)

- Anderson Silva Won’t Stay at Light-Heavyweight, Doesn’t Want to Fight Jon Jones (Fightline)

- Whatever the lady on the left is doing, I want her job. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Ronda Rousey Won’t Fight at 145 Due to Trust Issues With Drug Testing (BloodyElbow)

- Dana White Opens Up About His Only Regret — His Offensive Tirade From 2009 (MMAWeekly)

- MMA: Inside the Cage 114: “Faber Stifles the Count” (MMA:ITC)

- 30 Minutes to 3-D Shoulders (MensFitness)

- Beef of the Day: Mitt Romney vs. LeVar Burton (Complex)

- The 50 Weirdest Engagement Portraits Of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

- Chefs of Anarchy Episode 1: Pig’s Head Dumplings (MadeMan)

- 69 Depraved Frank Reynolds GIFs (ScreenJunkies)

- 25 Stunning Photos of Planes Flying Past the Moon (EgoTV)

(Well, at least he’ll be really funny!) 

It’s no understatement to say that the fight between Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar at the TUF 1 Finale basically saved the sport of MMA from those damned dirty machines. What machines are we referring to? These machines. But as you all know, our ambitiously misguided Skynet overlords have continued forward in their quest to replace man on the top of the food chain nonetheless. Lucky for us, the universe is about give birth to the John Connor that will eventually save the sport of MMA, nay, the world, from the cold, lifeless grip of the cyborgs. And by “universe” we mean Stephan Bonnar’s wife, Andrea, and by John Connor we mean Griffin Bonnar, a name so coincidentally similar slash awesome that only this man could have come up with it.

Yahoo! Sports has the details:

UFC fighter Stephan Bonnar will become a first-time father sometime in October. Bonnar and his wife, Andrea, haven’t decided definitively upon a name for their unborn son, but one name they’ve kicked around is Griffin. As in, Griffin Bonnar.

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(In retrospect, this news should not come as a huge surprise.)

While appearing on a recent edition of MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour, former light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin informed Ariel Helwani that following his UFC 101 loss to Anderson Silva back in 2009, he failed his post-fight drug test. No, not for elevated levels of testosterone, but for Xanax of all things:

I failed my drug test I think for Xanax. I had a doctor’s prescription, I was just, I didn’t do it before the fight, I did it the night before, I was nervous and I couldn’t sleep.

Why this failed test was not made public by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission is anyone’s guess, but we’re going to assume that Griffin was simply given a pass because he was essentially fed to the wolves over an open flame. That, and it seems that the idea of fighting Silva is enough to make any of his opponents at LHW become suddenly dependent on an outside prescription for one thing or another. Just ask James Irvin.

I just watched the first official trailer for UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar and I’m stoked, Nation. Not because the brief montage of fight film, music and narration fooled me into thinking that Stephan Bonnar somehow isn’t a gigantic underdog against Anderson Silva, but rather because the trailer is so honest about his chances and what we’re likely to see. It’s a nice change of pace.

Check it out above and see what I mean. After injuries jacked up UFC 153′s main event twice as well as the originally scheduled co-main, the UFC did the best they could by getting the world’s best fighter on the card and throwing a fearless, aggressive, entertaining fighter at him. The trailer serves as a reflection of this, as it basically tell fans, “Look, Anderson Silva is probably going to knock Bonnar out and we all know whenever ‘The Spider’ does that it’s hella exciting. But if somehow that doesn’t happen, and Bonnar wins, well that would be as big of an upset as we’ve ever seen, and dang, wouldn’t that be exciting, too? Please watch us. It’s been a rough year.”

(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)

It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?

Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”

(Too. Damn. Talented.)

By: Jason Moles

I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.

Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.

Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*

Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.

Leonard Garcia: God help him.

Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.

(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

(Think that’s risky? Try downing three cans of NOS in a row.)

When an athlete like Georges St. Pierre signs with a major product like the Coca Cola-owned NOS Energy Drink, there’s a couple directions we can go in bringing you the news. The most obvious angle is that the news of GSP signing with a prominent brand like NOS is yet another coup for him personally, and possibly for mixed martial arts on the whole, because it signifies another step towards mainstream acceptance and will expose the sports to scores of new potential fans, blah blah blah, etc.

All that is nice, but what sticks in my craw is that I can’t imagine St. Pierre actually choking down that toxic go-go juice in real life. We hope that the deal nets GSP loads of cash and we’re truly happy for him; he seems like a nice dude and is the epitome of what a top-notch professional MMA fighter should be. That said, what are the chances that the health-conscious welterweight champion gets his energy edge from the same caffeinated sugar-water that your 15 year-old cousin uses to stay awake during all-night Halo marathons?

(“ERMAHGERD. WERST GERMBLING ERDS ERVER”)

Since the Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar replacement main event at UFC 153 was announced, I’ve been waiting patiently to see what kind of absurd betting line would be tied to this fight, and the oddsmakers didn’t disappoint. As MMAWeekly informs us, Silva has just opened as a -1350 (!) favorite, compared to Stephan Bonnar’s +850 underdog line. Gambling n00b translation: A $1,350 bet on Anderson would net you just a $100 profit if he wins, while a $100 bet on Bonnar would pay off $850 in profit if he does the unthinkable. And if you’re trying to decide which guy to put money on, I can confidently say that either bet would be stupid as fuck.

That -1350 line represents the most lopsided odds for an Anderson Silva fight ever, and even surpasses the -1300 opening line that was given to Jon Jones against Vitor Belfort. In general, once the gambling line passes -1000 for the favorite, it’s a pretty clear sign that the fight is a dangerous squash match that shouldn’t have been booked in the first place. (Example: Cris Cyborg‘s -2000 opening line over Jan Finney, a fight that turned out to be exactly as competitive as we thought it would.)

(“The Burger King Triple Stacker — I don’t jump up to light-heavyweight on short notice without it.”)

After UFC 153 lost its main event and co-main event in the same day, UFC matchmakers needed to get creative if they wanted to avoid another financially devastating event-cancellation. And by God, they’ve gotten creative. USA Today has just confirmed that Anderson Silva will now be headlining the October 13th event in Rio de Janeiro, in a light-heavyweight feature against…Stephan, freakin’, Bonnar. Allow that delicious insanity to sink in for just a moment. Alright, let’s continue.

The report follows an earlier story broken by MMAFighting, which confirmed that Frankie Edgar has been removed from the event altogether. So if you chose “other” in today’s poll, award yourself five PotatoBux.

This will be the third light-heavyweight UFC appearance for Silva, who previously scored brilliant knockouts against 205′ers James Irvin (in July 2008) and Forrest Griffin (in August 2009). Bonnar, who is currently riding a three-fight win streak, has been vocal in recent months about his desire to get at least one more big fight before he exits the sport — remember his campaign for a TUF coaching gig against Griffin? — and sort of retired in July due to his frustration that another marquee matchup wasn’t materializing. Well, Bonnar’s got his big fish, for better or for worse. And if he lasts more than one round against the Spider, he’ll do better than any UFC light-heavyweight before him.

(Seen here: One of the fighters who still has a chance of competing at UFC 153.)

Let’s face it: There is little more we can say to convey our disappointment in the disintegration of UFC 153. The card began solid enough (see above), then it got a little less awesome, then it got significantly more awesome, and now it is resting in a state of awesome limbo that it may never return from, which is not really awesome at all if you think about it.

With rumors flying that everything from Wanderlei Silva vs. Chael Sonnen to Rashad Evans vs. Anderson Silva at a catchweight is being eyed as the replacement main event for UFC 153, it got us thinking:

What fight would you, the fans, like to see as the new main event of UFC 153?

We’ve placed a few of the most likely options after the jump, but feel free to choose the “Other” option and give us your picks/reasoning in the comments section. The sky is the limit, but we must warn you, we’ve already asked Dana to consider Zimmer-Martinez II, and he gave us a resounding “maybe.”

-J. Jones

(He ain’t really old, just a little too old to be in the club. / Photo via VegasNews.com)

Like any great athlete with a long career, Anderson Silva and his team seem to enjoy toying with the hearts of fans with coy, contradictory talk about when the 37-year-old champ will retire. After originally threatening to retire at age 35, the Spider has had everyone from his boss to his manager opine since then about how long the UFC middleweight legend could and would possibly stay in the fight game he’s dominated since 2006. And now, Silva has gone on record himself with Estadao, saying that he’d like to fight for six more years, until he’s 43.

“I guess you can see more like six years of fighting,” Silva told Estadao. “I love what I do. The team that works with me does a fantastic job. I’ve never had a serious injury that took myself away from competition. So I think I have this a little while longer.”

Well, shit. Maybe Silva isn’t as aloof and carefree as we sometimes think. He’s one of the most financially successful MMA fighters in history and could conceivably go out on top in the next year or two, especially if he books that history-making super-fight with Georges St. Pierre. So it’s a bit surprising to see Anderson say that he loves the sport so much that he doesn’t want to leave it for some time. Maybe he’s going to take care of that unfinished Demian Maia and Thales Leites business. Or maybe he’ll get around to fighting Chris Weidman, before Weidman himself turns 43.

When Anderson Silva called out George St. Pierre a little over a week ago, the MMA blogosphere’s reactions ranged from overwhelming enthusiasm to bitter resentment. Being that this is the Internet, the majority of those who voiced their opinions apparently sided in the latter category, dubbing Silva –whom you may recall is a UFC champion — a “lazy coward,” a “bitch,” and a “pussy” whose “bitchassness” would hopefully lead to GSP “smashing his skull through the canvas.” The main issue seemed to be that Silva was calling out someone below him in weight, which therefore made him a bitch considering that Jon Jones would be totally willing to fight him if he were to move up to 205. In your humble opinions, Silva was basically being an O’Doyle and picking on the smallest kid in gym class, which is totally not cool behavior for a supposed pound-for-pound great.

That being the case, we’d just love to hear what you think of this. Last week, former MMA fighter Kit Cope declared that “MMA dudes are vaginas” compared to kickboxers in the above video, successfully drawing the attention and ire of any MMA fighter or fan dimwitted enough to take anything that Kit Cope says seriously. One of those people was CagePotato aficionado Sean McCorkle, a can crushing super heavyweight who spends more time arguing on the UG than any grown ass man ever should. McCorkle took it upon himself to defend the honor of the hundreds of thousands of tens of fighters who found themselves reeled in by the whimsical musings of Kit fucking Cope and posted a lengthy diatribe on his old stomping grounds while “bored on a Friday night.” As is often the case in Internet warfare (and therefore Sean McCorkle), the rant was little more than a series of personal attacks and gay jokes culminating in a futile challenge that has zero chance of coming to fruition in any country other than Japan.

Here’s just a little taste:

Hey, here’s a fun fact for you. You lost to Tiki Goshen. Let me repeat that. You lost to Tiki Goshen. In a fight. That means that if Tiki Goshen broke into your house, and you did not have a gun or other significant weapon readily available, Tiki Goshen would have little trouble subduing you, and rendering you completely helpless in a short amount of time. Then he would he proceed to take your belongings, and/or harm your family in any way he chooses.

This of course begs one to ask what would happen to McCorkle’s family if Brian Heden were to break into his house. You see, Sean? We can pick the low-hanging fruit too!

(I guess we could caption this, but wrestling has a way of sometimes looking funny enough on its own.)

#1 middleweight contender Middleweight Chris Weidman just can’t let Mark Munoz have his own moment. First, Weidman spoiled Munoz’ hopes of earning a title shot. Now, just days after we found out Munoz injured his foot and will be out for some time, and also that his elbow is still jacked up from nasty bone chips, Weidman decided that he needed elbow surgery to remove bone chips as well.

We suppose its possible that Weidman’s elbow surgery is unrelated to sticking it to Munoz. MMA Fighting has the report. “[Weidman] underwent surgery at the Sanford Surgical Tower on his left elbow to clean out bone chips that had developed over time.”

According to the report, Weidman had been dealing with elbow issues for over two years.

We still don’t know if we’ll get a super fight between welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre and middleweight champion Anderson Silva one day, but at least it seems that UFC President Dana White is on our side with this thing. “I think we’re pretty close,” White told Ariel Helwani on Fuel TV’s UFC Tonight. “I mean if Georges St. Pierre beats [Carlos] Condit, that could be the next fight.”

In other words, St. Pierre vs. Condit isn’t “meaningless” after all. And if GSP vs. Anderson does happen, White told Helwani that it would likely be held at a 180-pound catch weight.

“At one point it sounded like Anderson wanted to go to 170 and take Georges’ welterweight title,” White said. “That was what he was talking at one point. Then it was 180 as a catchweight, because Georges doesn’t want to go to 185, he’s going to stay at ’70. He said if ‘I had to make the move to go to ’85, I’d have to stay at ’85.’ We figured that a 180-pound catchweight makes sense.”

Sounds good to us, and Silva has seemed to do everything he could to signal that he wants that fight (from insulting the entire middleweight division to expressing a willingness to drop down in weight) but there’s a lot standing in the way of that dream match-up from happening. First of all, Condit could beat St. Pierre in November.

(We’ll give Anderson this, he has an ability to facially express himself that not even Ernest P. Worrell could hold a candle to.) 

Good afternoon, Potato Nation, Danga here. As many of you may or may not have realized/elated over, I have been out of the office since last Thursday, first taking a trip down to New York City, then heading out to Boston to move into the apartment at which I currently reside. Aside from being called a “fahkin retahd” by nearly every citizen who shared the road with me, it was a relatively painless move, but one that left me without Internet access for a good three or four days, which in Internet time is roughly 6 months.

At least that was what it felt like. When I fired up my computer this morning to peruse over CagePotato and see what the MMA world had been up to in my absence, I expected to find a couple sweet knockout videos and maybe a Labor Day-themed article or two. Suffice it to say, I was shocked to find that not only had CP managed to snag a “fight scientist” to impress us with his “graphs” and “numbers” and “empirical data,” but we were even granted access to a behind-the-scenes look at a local New Jersey-based event. And elsewhere, not only had Erik Koch been replaced by Frankie Edgar against Jose Aldo at UFC 153, but Aldo had been hit by a car (which I imagined looked something like this) and promptly told the injury curse of 2012 to go fuck itself. I was less surprised to learn, however, that Arlovski/Sylvia IV ended in controversy and bitter disappointment for those involved, but the fact that Tim Sylvia was even partly responsible for actual progress in the MMA world nearly made up for all the pain and suffering he has brought upon both himself and the sport in the past few years.

Of course, today is a new day, and with it comes a bit of mixed news. Regardless of who you feel deserves the next shot at Anderson Silva, the fact that “The Spider” is turning down fights in the weight class he resides over in favor of a possible superfight against GSP is a frustrating, if not equally intriguing prospect for MMA fans to digest. But as it turns out, Silva’s absence from the octagon in the near future may also be linked to something a little harder to swallow. Mainly, movie stardom. Because according to a report from metronews.ca, Silva may be heading to Canada down the line to promote and star in a major-budget MMA film called Tapped.

Details after the jump.

(Will it ever get old?)

Here at CagePotato we don’t mind doing things by the book if we can still have a good time doing it. So, we didn’t mind enjoying a few modern classics when the UFC made them available through youtube.

After the jump you can too. Full fight videos of Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen II, Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping: Comeuppance, and Jon Jones vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson.

These are all good’uns so if you’re in America, enjoy part of your day off by watching some of the world’s best fighters get after it. And if you don’t have the day off, get back at your employer passive aggressively by wasting a couple hours watching these on the job.

(UFC champ Anderson Silva has been married with kids for a decade and a half but says that as a youth many people assumed he was gay)

Fighters Only Mag‘s John Joe O’Regan reports that in an interview for the September issue of the Brazilian monthly magazine Tatame, UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva said that “a lot of people thought I was gay,” growing up. We’re not sure of the context in the interview or Silva’s tone when he said it, but it is nice that he isn’t ashamed to talk about it.

Just like Mike Tyson before him, Silva is an in-ring killer that happens to have a relatively high-pitched voice. Because of baseless notions of masculinity such a voice in a man can often be seen in societies as not incongruent with being a tough guy. That was prejudice that Silva ran into as a youth, he says.

That he allowed his sister to dress him up in her clothes until he was about fourteen also contributed to people judging him, according to Silva. “We would wear a dress, put on her shoes,” he said.

(Brittney Palmer makes love to the camera for her 2013 calendar, via TitoCouture)

- Jose Aldo Opens as -175 Favorite Over Frankie Edgar at UFC 153 (MMAWeekly)

- Anderson Silva: ‘A Lot Of People Thought I Was Gay’ Growing Up (Fightline)

- That’s not urine, okay? It’s a home-made sport drink called Machida-Ade. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Michael Bisping Talks Jon Jones, Chael Sonnen and UFC 152 Fight With Brian Stann (HeavyMMA)

- Matt Mitrione vs. Phil De Fries Slated for UFC 155 (MMAFighting)

- Dennis Siver vs. Eddie Yagin Moved To UFC On FOX 5, All UFC 151 Fights Now Rescheduled (BloodyElbow)

- MMA: Inside the Cage #109: “The Truth About Tag Team MMA” (MMA: Inside the Cage)

- Bruce Lee Kicked Fashion’s Ass (MadeMan)

- The 101 Greatest ESPN GameDay Signs – EVER (BustedCoverage)

- Does Alcohol Really Help People Get Along? (MensFitness)

- The 10 Worst Movies of Summer 2012 (Complex)

- Shay Maria Pops a Balloon on Her Boobs (WorldWideInterweb)

- 5 Reasons Burning Man Is Not as Cool as You Think (EgoTV)

(A glimpse into a dystopian future, via ScienceofViolence)

Judging from this new article on SporTV, Anderson Silva‘s current hiatus from fighting is exactly what we thought it was — a way to avoid title defenses against low-profile contenders and hold out for something big. Namely, a superfight against UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre. Here’s what the Spider had to say about the fight he wants more than anything (translation via BloodyElbow):

“Regardless of who wins, even if St. Pierre loses, a fight with me can happen. A fight like this is above anything else. St. Pierre is one of the greatest of the UFC. Right now, a fight with Condit is meaningless.”

“Meaningless”! That’s heel-talk, brother! GSP was recently medically cleared to take on interim champ Carlos Condit at UFC 154 (November 17th, Montreal), and even if the Canadian legend loses that fight, it’s safe to assume that fans would still turn out in droves to see St. Pierre fight Anderson Silva sometime next year.

Here’s my only problem: If Silva is putting off middleweight title defenses against deserving contenders in order to wait for a potential match against GSP — which could be held at a catchweight below 185 pounds — shouldn’t Silva relinquish his middleweight title to do so? I’m not going to hate on Andy for making the last fights of his career count, but his pursuit of big paydays shouldn’t put an entire division on hold, right? Dana White might need to step in and regulate, or else we could eventually be looking at another ridiculous interim champion situation, and nobody wants that.

With Vitor Belfort now set to fight Jon Jones at UFC 152, Alan Belcher was left without an opponent for UFC 153 in Rio. Many of us began to speculate as to who the UFC would call in to replace Vitor Belfort in a fight that had possible title implications. Nah, I’m just kidding, we were all way too busy talking about bitchassness, trolling your way into title shots and over-saturation to worry about Alan Belcher. Let’s get back to the real issues of today.

Not so fast. Alan Belcher released a video blog yesterday to discuss the whole Jon Jones saga. Interestingly enough, Belcher first discloses that he won’t be fighting at UFC 153 because he wants to let a back injury he suffered while training heal. In his words:

Rewind a little bit: Three or four weeks back, I had a real bad back problem. I went to the doctor, found out that I had a spinal fracture, so that put me out for three weeks. I didn’t bend my back, I just kept it straight. I’m like “I’m just going to get the rest I need to make this fight happen and push through it.” I was getting back in there training, and it took me a whole week to get my mind wrapped back around it, but I was like “This is a huge fight, I’m going to do it,” and there is no way I was going to back out of that fight. Once I started back and I got going, I put a lot of thought into it and I was going full force ahead.

(God damn it, Tim. We will never forgive you for this.)

We envisioned this week’s CagePotato Roundtable as a friendly take-down of everything from “Hello Japan!” to Tito Ortiz’s brief and terrifying career as a post-fight interviewer. But then a funny thing happened — the UFC canceled their first event of the Zuffa era due to a very unexpected decision by one of their champions, and the world exploded. The Jon Jones/UFC 151 fallout and much more will be covered in today’s column, so grab a beverage and get comfortable. And as always, if you have a topic idea for a future Roundtable, please send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Seth Falvo

“World Combat League, bro. It already exists.”

In the perfect MMA Universe I envision whenever I eat enough Lotus Leaf, these words are uttered directly to MMA’s Vince Russo, Bob Meyrowitz, while he’s looking for investors for the mind-numbingly ridiculous YAMMA Pit Fighting. Upon hearing them, Bob decides to become a jaded boxing promoter, World Combat League is still the only promotion that uses a bowl as the fight surface and we are all spared the most stupid, embarrassing, gimmicky event since Heroes of Wrestling. Also in this universe: The Super Hulk division is recognized by the UFC as a real weight class, Paulo Filho never touches the GHB, Fedor knocks out Brock Lesnar and then retires as a UFC Heavyweight Champion and Chael Sonnen never attempts that freaking backfist. Who says us nerds don’t know how to party?

Of course, reality is a cruel mistress, and YAMMA Pit Fighting ended up happening despite the best efforts of an injury curse. Much like the aforementioned Heroes of Wrestling, Meyrowitz attempted to cash in on our love of nostalgia by booking a bunch of aging has-beens, never-weres, nobodies and ne’er-do-wells to compete in the promotion’s inaugural event. Never mind that half of the roster hasn’t been relevant in a decade (using “relevant” as loosely as possible in some cases), or that one of the fighters was best known for getting knocked out by a leg kick, or that another fighter was best known to casual fans for his stint on Celebrity Rehab; they’re going to brawl, you guys! Add on one of Brock Lesnar’s Team Deathclutch punching bags, the cheapest journeyman-for-hire you can find, an obese former Toughman Contest champion and some obscure Russians who dabble at sambo — because, you know, Fedor — and we’ll have all the tools for an exciting bankruptcy case after no one watches this. Tack on the incredibly cheesy, stuck-in-the-mid-90s “On the streets it’s against the law — in the pit it is the law” tagline, and laissez les bons temps rouler.

It might take Real Crime’s documentary on the biggest cash heist in British history some thirty minutes to get to former UFC fighter Lee Murray, but that doesn’t make it any less entertaining. Detailing the intricate, if not mismanaged, raid of the Medway cash depot in Kent, South East England on February 22nd, 2006, Real Crime provides an enthralling look back at the whos, wheres, and hows of the meticulously planned heist unlike any other documentary in recent memory.

Managing to get interviews with everyone from Colin Dixon, the manager of the depot who was held hostage along with his family and coworkers, to Dave O’Donnell, an English fight promoter who simply cannot speak highly enough of Murray despite the evidence at hand, this documentary labels Murray “the mastermind” behind the entire escapade, which resulted in the theft of over 53 million pounds (84 million dollars). Murray and his gang utilized prosthetic masks, fake police uniforms, hidden cameras, and an arsenal of weapons that would make the cast of Predator blush to pull off their crime, only to be caught within the four months that followed it. Murray was sentenced to 10 years in Moroccan prison for his role in the heist, where he managed to pull off an even greater one: fathering a child and skipping out on the alimony payments LIKE A BOSS.

Unfortunately, the documentary fails to provide any insight regarding “Lightning’s” back alley brawl with Tito Ortiz, which is what we all really want to know about. But check out the video above, which features several highlights from Murray’s fight with Anderson Silva, and learn yourself something new. Who knows, maybe you can use this information to one day pull off an even greater robbery and actually get away with it. May the force be with you.

After the jump: A full video of Murray vs. Silva, because we’ve got to make this MMA-related somehow.

(Oh, you said you have a *flaggy* tattoo? I must have misheard you.) 

By Nathan Smith

During a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal, Dana White said, “Globally, we’re already bigger than the NFL.” From a global stand point that may be true, but in the Pulp Fiction-esque United States, the NFL is still Marsellus Wallace. The UFC may never gain the notoriety that the NFL has in America but stand-out fighters continue to ink major product endorsement deals. Anderson Silva (Burger King, Budweiser), Georges St. Pierre (Gatorade, UnderArmor) and Jon Jones (Nike) are paving the way to success for future mixed martial artists. Although big-time corporate sponsorship for fighters is in its infancy, the other major professional sports leagues have seen their athletes gain almost as much notoriety outside the lines as within.

The UFC was purchased by Zuffa just over a decade ago and has been charging towards global domination ever since. Sure, the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL (well, maybe not the NHL) playoffs and championship contests annihilate the UFC ratings-wise but the premier MMA organization is gaining at a rapid pace. Take into account the combined several hundred years of history the 4 “major” professional leagues hold and it is glaringly apparent that the UFC and its stars are closing the gap like a fat dude towards a parked Roach Coach.

Comparing the UFC’s ratings and popularity with the aforementioned leagues is somewhat asinine and it would not be fair or rational to compare athletes from other sports with UFC fighters – but you have visited Cagepotato.com. We have never been accused of being fair or rational and matching fighters with their counterparts from around the world of other sporting organizations seemed as logical as a booze-filled headset.

Anderson Silva and Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan has become the benchmark to which all athletes are measured, although the comparisons have transcended far beyond the realm of athletics. Any activity or event draws comparisons to #23 (or #45 whatever). From Ken Jennings being the Michael Jordan of Jeopardy, to Joey Chestnut being the Michael Jordan of gluttony or Peter North being the Michael Jordan of male climax volume, Jordan is synonymous with superiority. In every single poll taken in the last decade regarding the “Top 100 NBA players in History” the battle is for #2 through #100. Michael Jordan is considered the greatest of all time in his medium (and I am not talking about minor league baseball).  Anderson Silva, with his perfect 15-0 record and 10 consecutive title defenses in the UFC, has done things that may never be accomplished again in the history of mixed martial arts. Some day a fighter may come along (if he hasn’t already *foreshadowing*) and surpass Silva’s records but until his numbers fall, Anderson Silva is the Michael Jordan of MMA – period.

(Ooooooh this guy just makes me so mad!)

Considering the ongoing feeding frenzy in the middleweight division, MMA fans have been waiting to hear what’s next for UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva. Well hold onto your asses, because the answer is…nothing? With a matchup against #1 contender Chris Weidman officially nixed, the Spider has decided to just chillax until 2013, and then select his next opponent, because that’s what champions do. As Dana White explained:

“Anderson said he wants to take some time off until after the end of this year, [then] we’ll start talking to him. [Chris Weidman] is in a great spot. The kid looked fantastic, demolished the number three guy. Demolished in spectacular fashion. He’s got the right to call out whoever he wants [but] he’s gonna have to wait, or fight [somebody else first], because Anderson’s gonna fight after the end of the year.”

Look Andy, you don’t want to fight Weidman, we get it. In the grand scheme of life, love, and pay-per-view buys, he’s small potatoes. And you think that if you take half a year off, maybe Weidman will have to fight again (and maybe lose), or perhaps he’ll die of natural causes. This is your plan, basically.

Props: Jason Deebank via MMAFanMade

By Seth Falvo (@SethFalvo)

We’re just hours away from UFC on FOX 4, where four men will attempt to become the least impressive light-heavyweight title challenger since Elvis Sinosic by winning in the most impressive manner possible. To paraphrase Jeff Fox, the winner of the upcoming Jones vs. Henderson bout will defend his belt against the winner of tonight’s semantics game. There’s got to be a catch, right?

Of course there is. Even the dimmest MMA fans among us have already interpreted this as a way for Dana White to back out of giving Brandon Vera a title shot if he were to actually defeat Shogun Rua tonight. Shogun is obviously the preferable contender, but just in case he blows this somehow, we’ll shrug it off and put the winner of Machida/Bader in the cage with Jones/Hendo, right? Quite the contrary: This semantics game was designed to give Lyoto Machida a title shot with a victory.

Right now, some of you are screaming “What kind of idiot hack journalist are you, Seth?!” at your screens. First, allow me to welcome you to Cage Potato; you’re obviously new here. Second, let me lay it out for you with four simple reasons after the jump.

They see me trollinnnnnn’. They hatinnnnnn’. Props: Sherdog.

Those of you who have been clinging to the notion that Anderson Silva’s manager Jorge Guimaraes would change his mind about Chris Weidman being an “amateur kid” can officially let that ship sail. Ariel Helwani caught up with Guimaraes yesterday, and even though he clarified that the “amateur kids” comment was a translation error, he still does not see any value in an Anderson Silva vs. Chris Weidman fight for the time being. Via MMAFighting:

When specifically asked about the “amateur kids” comment:

JG: Well, there was a little lack of communication. I spoke to Tatame Magazine in Brazil and it got lost in translation. I have a lot of respect for Weidman. He’s a great fighter, but what I meant is that the fight doesn’t make sense. He has nine fights – impressive fights – but it’s half of the number of fights that Anderson has in the UFC. I think he’s just a little not ripe enough, but it’s up to the organization to tell [us] who is a good opponent for Anderson.

Check after the jump for the full quote and interview

(I’m just playing, MMA. You know I love you)

We never expected Nick Diaz to stay “retired,” after he lost a close decision to Carlos Condit and got popped and suspended by the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) for marijuana metabolites early in the year. So when Diaz manager/coach Cesar Gracie released a written statement on GracieFighter.com Friday that Diaz will, in fact, return to fighting it just confirmed the obvious.

However, Gracie had another timely bombshell to announce – Diaz would totally fight Anderson Silva, and Diaz’ camp will make the request of the UFC.

Anderson Silva, shown modeling for Rolling Stone while showing us his war face.

It’s no secret that the UFC middleweight division is a bit of a mess right now. With Michael Bisping set to fight Brian Stann, Alan Belcher squaring off against Vitor Belfort, Cung Le fighting Rich Franklin and Chris Weidman and Tim Boetsch sitting on the sidelines, it’s no wonder we’re possibly looking at a middleweight tournament to sort this mess out. In theory, the tournament would give Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva plenty of time to go to barbecues and fight Light-Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones while the division sorts itself out. In reality, that will never happen.

With the middleweight division being such a gigantic question mark, it may make sense to just ask someone in Anderson Silva’s camp who they’d like to see him fight next. There’s just one small problem: Anderson Silva’s camp are, how should I say this, pricks. Case in point, here’s what Silva’s manager Jorge Guimaraes said about the possibility of Anderson fighting Chris Weidman, Tim Boetsch and Alan Belcher, who have all recently called out “The Spider” (via Tatame):