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Tag: Andrei Arlovski

Punch-Out!!: The Rap Video

Punch-Out Rap – Watch more Other Funny Stuff
(Props: Break via Screen Junkies)

25 years after Punch-Out!! first hit arcades, the beloved boxing series is having a bizarre rebirth via Internet videos. Two days ago, we saw the documentary style clip of Little Mac preparing to make his comeback — a viral ad for the title’s upcoming Wii relaunch. Now, there’s this completely-unrelated rap tribute to the game, which ScreenJunkies tells us is "the first installment in a series of old-school Nintendo-based music videos entitled ‘Gamerjamz’." Damn…I can’t wait for the Double Dragon tribute done in the style of DragonForce. (By the way, Gamerjamz, if you actually use that idea you have to credit me.)

And the Punch-Out!! love doesn’t stop there…


Videos: Arlovski’s Dance Crew, Fight Photographer Talks Ring Girls, + More

Pardon my language here, but what the fuck is Andrei Arlovski doing?  The man was once the UFC heavyweight champion, and now he’s doing skits on "The Jerry Springer Show" that look like they were written by a tenth-grade English class?  And not that it would have made any difference, but they couldn’t rehearse it once or twice just to work out some of the kinks?  It just seems too coincidental that Arlovski is sinking to these new lows at right around the same time he’s preparing to make his pro boxing debut.  This video settles it: boxing makes jackasses out of MMA fighters.  And since Freddie Roach makes boxers out of MMA fighters…you can draw your own conclusions about him.

After the jump, I talk ring girls, unnecessary nudity, and more with Fight! Magazine photographer Paul Thatcher, and Martin Kampmann shows us how they do over at Xtreme Couture.


How’s Taste My Dystopian Vision of the Future?

(The war, she is hell.)

Here’s the explanation we were given to go along with this photo:

"Mixed Martial Arts star Andrei Arlovski is featured in the sequel of the iconic hit film UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. Stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren return as fight-to-the-death enemies in "Universal Soldier: A New Beginning."  The film has just wrapped principal photography.”

But between us, we think that’s all a clever cover story.  That’s what the government would like you to believe.  But look in those eyes.  See the despair?  See the anguish?  That’s a man who has grown disillusioned with the world of pro fighting and has traveled into the future to join some totally sweet army of motocross riders with machine guns who do battle with aliens or giant bugs or robots or something. 

At least that’s our take.  We’ll let you decide which explanation sounds more plausible.


Affliction/Dream Co-Promotion Rumor Is So Crazy It’s Almost Sane

Mirko Cro Cop
(‘And what is deal with airline food? Is no good, am I right?’)

Want to hear something totally insane and probably not true?  That was a rhetorical question.  Of course you want to hear this.  According to a Croatian newspaper article translated for us by Robert of, Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic’s next bout will be this July in an Affliction/Dream co-promotional event full of all kinds of fights that only sort of make sense.  

The article quotes Cro Cop as saying that he’d like to fight four times this year (he knows it’s already mid-April and he’s fought zero times so far this year, right?) and five times in 2010, so the credibility of this report seems strained to begin with.  But then the article declares that the “only certainty” is a Cro Cop-Alistair Overeem rematch on a July 20 Affliction/Dream co-promotion in Japan.  Also on that card, according to this report, will be Fedor Emelianenko taking on Jeff Monson and Josh Barnett facing off against Andrei Arlovski.

Whoa, let’s back up a second, Croatian newspaper.  Now who’s this Fedor guy anyway and what has he done to deserve a shot at "The Snowman"?


Videos: Danavlog 96.1, “From Russia With Love”

"Here we go. Bloggin’ again." So says Dana White after he and Lorenzo sell some snake oil to a group of Stanford Business students, telling them that their friendship is what has kept the UFC successful. Plus, it’s all about the ride. You can pretty much skip past 2:19-4:44, in which Lorenzo tells a convoluted shaggy dog story (literally/figuratively) which doesn’t really go anywhere. You can also skip through 4:45-6:00 in which Dana plays Pac-Man in his garage. Man, I can’t imagine what landed on the cutting-room floor this time around. Then, Dana’s daughter shows up in an Ed Hardy shirt (LOL, what a douchebag) and his son disses his baldness. A lot of family time, basically, ending with Dana and Lorenzo reunited and heading to Germany. In a way, this vlog entry is much like UFC 96 itself — only interesting if you’re a hardcore fan.

Below: Rejoice! Genghis Con has created a sequel to his groovy Fedor Emelianenko-based film The Last Russian Emperor. Chapter 2 focuses on Fedor’s last five victories (Hunt, Lindland, Choi, Sylvia, Arlovski), with some great behind-the-scenes footage peppered in. The exchange between Aleks and Andrei at the 6:13 mark FTW.


Look Who’s Employed Again


When Ariel Helwani informed us that he was leaving MMA Rated – once the go-to spot for video interviews that often became instant internet classics, now an anemic shell of a website – amid hard financial times, we naturally assumed that this meant our Canadian friend would soon be reduced to selling fake Nikes and knock-off Affliction shirts in Times Square.  Then he got the job working on “UFC Primetime” and it seemed like things might be all right until production shut down following UFC 94 and he was forced to get some sleep and go back on his all Ramen Noodles diet.

But lo and behold, “The Franchise” is back in business.  We’re pleased to tell you that Helwani is now beefing up the MMA coverage at  That’s right, as in the people who air the WEC events you enjoy so much.  In other words, Helwani is working for The Man.  The good news?  The Man pays well, and on time.

He tells us that will be covering the MMA world as a whole and not just the WEC, and we’re encouraged by the fact that they hired a real MMA journalist for the job and not some punk-ass corporate lackey.  If you want to check out Helwani’s first effort – a recap of last night’s WEC – you can read it here.  

Congrats, Ariel.  The Potato Nation looks forward to reading your work until you are inevitably fired for stealing office supplies and sexually harassing interns.  Should be a fun three weeks.


“How’s Taste My Clay-Pee-Pee?”

Andrei Arlovski Round 5 figurine MMA

Andrei Arlovski MMA Round 5 figurine figures  Andrei Arlovski MMA Round 5 figure figurine  Andrei Arlovski Round 5 figurine figure MMA    

From via MMA Mania:

Check out sneak peak images of the prototype sculpting for Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski’s forthcoming figurine. Art directed and approved by Arlovski himself, this figure will be 6" tall and will be launched alongside Big John McCarthy, Frank Mir and Antonio “Minotauro” Nogueira in the World of MMA Champions: Series 3 available this April.

As decorative cubicle-toys go, this one is gonna be pretty gnarly. Check out the oversized head — which accentuates the oversized fangs and oversized power-beard — and those clublike fists. Of course, the real Andrei Arlovski is a little less impressive, which is probably for the best.


Arlovski Signs with Golden Boy, Will Box Next, and Why Not?

(Arlovski tries for the Dan Severn, sweat-soaked-grey-t-shirt look.)

Following his knockout loss to Fedor Emelianenko at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, Andrei Arlovski has signed with Golden Boy Promotions and will begin his career as a boxer, reports  

You may recall that Arlovski’s trainer, Freddie Roach, said he’d like to see Arlovski take on heavyweight boxing champ Nikolai Valuev if he was victorious against Fedor.  Of course, he wasn’t, so maybe Valuev won’t be Arlovski’s first opponent, which is probably just as well.  But whoever he does face in the boxing ring, at least he won’t be tempted to try another flying knee.

If you’re Arlovski this move makes perfect sense right now.  Having lost to Fedor, there’s no immediately obvious opponent for him outside the UFC ranks.  He’s already beaten Ben Rothwell and Roy Nelson, Josh Barnett has the next shot at Fedor (though it won’t happen until the summer, at the earliest), so why not put on some bigger gloves and find out whether Roach really knows a boxing diamond in the rough when he sees it?

The upside for MMA fans is we get to see someone from our world match his skills against a real boxer.  We’ve all heard about how superior their striking is for so long, wouldn’t it be nice to find out the old-fashioned way?  Not to mention, this could actually get people to care about boxing’s heavyweight division again, at least for a little while. 


Videos: Danablog #2 (aka “Pinkberry Makes You Crazy”), Arlovski Thanks “Classy Fans,” + Mosley-Margarito

Dana White’s UFC 94 video blog, episode 2 – Watch more Free Videos

In the second episode of Dana White’s UFC 94 video blog we get a look inside the taping of “The Ultimate Fighter,” and encounter a man identified as Dana White Sr.  Could this really be the father of the UFC prez?  The brief look we get at their relationship seems contentious yet oddly loving enough.  After that it’s off to NYC for more Pinkberry (so no more Men’s Health cover shoots any time soon, then?) and another race through the city streets.  Oh, to be rich and loaded on sugar.  Nothing at all about GSP-Penn in this episode, by the way.

Andrei Arlovski comes home to Chicago and thanks his fans for their support after his loss, which he attributes to a stupid mistake.  His cameraman, playing the role of the enabling sycophant, insists it was just necessary risk-taking, but Andrei knows better.  He also tosses another jab at “pee-pee-pee taster” Tim Sylvia, because that always makes a man feel better when he’s down in the dumps.


Freddie Roach Says The Fight Was Too Easy For Arlovski

(Is there any situation not improved by sound effects from Super Mario Bros.?  Props: MMA Scraps.)

Freddie Roach has figured out what went wrong for Andrei Arlovski on Saturday night.  It’s simple really.  Fighting the world’s best heavyweight proved too easy.  This bored Andrei, prompting him to try the flying knee that he was not awake long enough to finish:

"He made a young man’s mistake," Roach told MMAInsider backstage. "It was too easy for him. He was winning the fight handily I thought, controlling the fight like we planned. He got a little cocky, and he tried the flying knee from too far away, no setup, and he paid for it. … But Fedor swings hard, that’s his thing. He probably had his eyes closed, but he just got lucky, I think. If we had followed a more disciplined fight, and kept to the game plan, I think it was going to be easy."

I agree with Roach on one point: Arlovski did make a mistake.  As for the rest of his explanation, it’s just more evidence that Roach doesn’t understand the differences between MMA and boxing.  In the boxing world, a man who wins via one-punch knockout after landing fewer punches than his opponent until that point is almost always the beneficiary of a lucky punch.  Not so in MMA, especially when that man is Fedor.

You can say he got lucky.  You can accuse him of closing his eyes and hoping for the best.  But you can’t explain away his record.  Arlovski may have helped him out with that mental error, but a right hand like Fedor’s sure improves a man’s luck considerably.