(Bruce Buffer is fairly confident that Griffin will outstrike Ortiz to a unanimous decision. Joe Rogan is peaking on a DMT trip and is desperately trying to keep his shit together as Tito’s head explodes into a screaming ball of golden phosphorescence. / Photo courtesy of the UFC 106: Weigh In Pics set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

After an ancient curse claimed Brock Lesnar, Mark Coleman, Ricardo Almeida, and Karo Parisyan — and even threatened the velvet voice of Mike Goldberg — we’ve finally arrived at tonight’s bedraggled UFC event, which will be headlined by a do-over between Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin. Guiding us through the action this evening is special guest liveblogger Chad Dundas; please make him feel welcome. Round-by-round results from the UFC 106 pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and say a little prayer that Josh Koscheck doesn’t accidentally gouge his eye out in the locker room while putting on his cup.

You know how some people have this magnetic quality to them that makes you want to like them, no matter what they might be saying or doing?  Guys like Jack Nicholson, or that Australian kid who threw the crazy party and refused to take off his sunglasses.  Even when they behave poorly, there’s still something about them that makes it impossible not to be on their side.  Josh Koscheck is the complete opposite of that, and he displays it perfectly in this video interview with Fight Magazine.  Here he talks ever so smugly about how Anthony Johnson doesn’t want to fight him, how he’d love to take 20% of his purse and then beat him up anyway, and how he fully intends to punish "Rumble" like the UFC wants him to.  It’s the high school bully act, and Koscheck fits into the role so easily it’s like he was born to do it.

As a contrast, Johnson couldn’t find anything bad to say about Koscheck at all.  In fact, he called Koscheck an "entertaining" fighter and said he was "really respectable as a human being."  He said those things before this video of Koscheck smirking into the camera was posted to the internet.  Hopefully someone shows it to him before the fight tomorrow night.  He should at least go into it with a clear idea of the level of jerkitude that he’s dealing with.

In their scramble to shore up UFC 106‘s lineup after the loss of Brock Lesnar, the UFC has booked a welterweight scrap between Josh Koscheck and Anthony Johnson for the November 21st event. Koscheck first announced via Twitter that he would be co-headlining the card, and Sherdog later confirmed his opponent.

It’ll be just a four-week turnaround for Johnson, who picked up his third straight win on Saturday night with a devastating 41-second TKO of Yoshiyuki Yoshida. (Our advice: Start cutting weight now.) Koscheck is coming off a first-round TKO of Frank Trigg at UFC 103 last month, and scored his own thunderous KO of Yoshiyuki Yoshida last December. Maybe it’s not worthy of co-main status, but at least Koscheck vs. Johnson will probably end with a highlight-reel knockout. Your predictions?

(Cain Velasquez works hard for his money, so you better treat him right.  Seriously, you better.  Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine’s UFC 104 gallery.)

The official reported salary figures for UFC 104 are in, and as usual they don’t necessarily reflect a final accounting of what each fighter took home, but they provide us with a good idea.  The event itself pulled 14,892 fans into the Staples Center (though one look at Dana White’s video blogs tells us that they weren’t all paying customers) for a net gate of $1,762,549.  As for how that was distributed among the fighters they came to see, well, check it out:

Lyoto Machida: $200,000 (no win bonus)
Mauricio "Shogun" Rua: $155,000
Cain Velasquez: $70,000 (includes $35,000 win bonus)
Ben Rothwell: $50,000
Gleison Tibau: $38,000 (includes $19,000 win bonus)
Josh Neer: $14,000
Joe Stevenson: $94,000 (includes $47,000 win bonus)
Spencer Fisher: $26,000
Anthony Johnson: $30,0000 (includes $15,000 win bonus)
Yoshiyuki Yoshida: $12,000
Ryan Bader: $30,000 (includes $15,000 win bonus)
Eric Schafer: $13,000
Pat Barry: $14,000 (includes $7,000 win bonus)
Antoni Hardonk: $16,000
Chael Sonnen: $54,000 (includes $27,000 win bonus)
Yushin Okami: $18,000
Jorge Rivera: $36,000 (includes $18,000 win bonus)
Rob Kimmons: $9,000
Kyle Kingsbury: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Razak Al-Hassan: $3,000
Stefan Struve: $14,000 (includes $7,000 win bonus)
Chase Gormley: $10,000

Some thoughts and addendums…
 

(Dana White discusses the impending Machida/Rua rematch, and UFC 104′s other fighters weigh-in on last night’s controversial decision. Also, Steve Mazzagatti shouldn’t be allowed to even *watch* MMA. Props to MMA Fanhouse.) 

- Don’t ask us how two of the three judges who presided over last night’s main event gave the first three rounds to the champion. Just take comfort in the fact that there will be an immediate rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua. Dana White announced the news at yesterday’s post-fight press conference, saying "They won’t make the same mistakes next time. Each one will try to win decisively." For the record, DW thought Shogun won the fight.

- Anthony Johnson was basically fined $10,000 per pound for missing weight. After tipping the scales at 176 on Friday, Rumble scored a ferocious TKO victory over Yoshiyuki Yoshida in just 39 seconds. But because he came in heavy, he was ineligible for UFC 104′s $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus, which instead went to Pat Barry. (Barry picked up a second $60,000 award for Fight of the Night; his opponent Antoni Hardonk got a check for the same amount, while beanpole submission artist Stefan Struve was awarded the Submission of the Night bonus for his triangle choke of Chase Gormley.) Johnson was already giving up 20% of his purse. When asked about the botched weight-cut, AJ had this to say:

Find more videos like this on BJPENN.COM

The latest maddeningly brief video from BJPenn.com shows the Prodigy hanging out at his gym with Fedor Emelianenko and Fedor’s constant road-dog Gegard Mousasi. But when and why did Fedor fly to Hawaii? [Ed. note: Right, he's in California this time. And so is Fedor. Got it.] As usual, there are no answers, and the mystery of BJ grows. Still, the idea of Fedor and Gegard joining Penn’s already stacked training camp should give Kenny Florian fans the heebie-jeebies. Assuming, of course, that BJ actually trains with these people. All we know is, directly after this fight, Emelianenko jumped out of BJ’s pool. And he was at the bottom of the deep end at the time. And he was standing on one leg.

(You know, Cub, in bull riding this would have been considered a victory. Photo courtesy of Newsday.)

— According to an interview on intheguard.tv, WEC featherweight/human highlight-reel Jose Aldo says he’ll be getting a much-deserved shot at Mike Brown‘s belt at WEC 45 (November 11th, location TBA). Aldo has racked up five consecutive TKO/KO victories during his stint in the WEC, most recently slicing Cub Swanson’s head wide open in 8 seconds at WEC 41 last month. Brown made his second successful title-defense at the same event, out-pointing Urijah Faber in a classic five-rounder to pick up his tenth straight win. 

— With Strikeforce middleweight champ Cung Le out of action due to a blossoming acting career, Scott Coker has announced that Jake Shields will fight for the organization’s interim middleweight title in October; the exact date, location, and Shields’s opponent will all be announced later. Shields has long been known as one of the best welterweights in the world, but his first-round choke-out of Robbie Lawler last month proved that he could be very competitive at a higher weight. Plus, his homey’s already got the welterweight division on lock…

(Anthony Johnson does his Bushwick Bill impression following his July 2008 fight against Kevin Burns.)

If Keith Kizer has his way, Dan Miragliotta and Steve Mazzagatti’s ability to fuck up fights by not paying attention could be severely limited by the year’s end. The Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director revealed yesterday on the GoodSports radio show that his commission is trying to figure out how an instant replay system could be incorporated into MMA, to be used only when a potentially illegal blow leads to the immediate end of a match (i.e., Mostapha Al Turk getting eye-poked by Mirko Cro Cop, and Anthony Johnson’s repeated pokes by Kevin Burns). As Kizer explained:

(‘Why won’t you die!?’)

Apparently deciding that if he can’t fight Anthony Johnson he’d rather fight no one at all, Matt Brown has opted to sit out and heal up instead of taking a bout against a replacement opponent at the “Ultimate Fighter 9” Finale on June 20.  Johnson pulled out with an injured knee earlier this week, putting an end to a fight we were really looking forward to on account of the guaranteed aggression that would have resulted from putting those two guys in one cage.  

Brown reportedly decided to nurse some nagging injuries rather than fighting a late replacement, and you really can’t blame him.  Who knows, maybe the bout will still happen a little ways down the road.  It just seems too good not to.

(Photo courtesy of about.com.)

Bummer of the day, you guys: The welterweight scrap between Anthony Johnson and Matt Brown — which was scheduled to lead off the televised card of the TUF 9 finale (June 20th, Las Vegas) — won’t be happening. The following message was recently posted on Rumble’s Myspace Page: