(Click for even larger, grosser version. Props: @anthonynjoku)

What you’re looking at is Anthony Njokuani‘s hand, which he broke during his decision loss against Rafael Dos Anjos at UFC on FUEL: Munoz vs. Weidman earlier this month. Good lord. It looks like a piece of driftwood that washed up on a particularly filthy beach. It looks like one of the sandworms from Tremors. It looks like a new Carvel employee’s botched attempt at making Fudgie the Whale. It looks like a bloated zombie hybrid of Anthony Johnson and Pac-Man. Get well soon, Anthony.

(At least we’ll always have the memories…) 

British lightweight Paul Taylor is undoubtedly one of the most entertaining fighters in the UFC…when he actually manages to make it into the cage. His ability to do so has become less and less frequent over the past few years, and it’s truly a shame for fans of a good old fashioned throwdown. Taylor was scheduled to return to action for the first time in over a year against Anthony Njokuani at UFC on FUEL 4, which goes down from the HP Pavillion in San Jose on July 11th, but word just broke that he has been forced to withdraw from the bout yet again, and will be replaced by Rafael Dos Anjos.

Although Taylor is an unspectacular 4-5 thus far in his UFC career, his victories include a most recent trouncing of Gabe Ruediger at 126, as well as entertaining victories over Peter Sobatta, Jess Liaudin, and Edilberto de Oliveira. Oddly enough, Taylor has earned his reputation and “Relentless” moniker by managing to be even more captivating in defeat, with his high-profile losses to Marcus Davis, Paul Kelly, and Chris Lytle all earning him Fight of the Night bonuses at UFC 75, 80, and 89, respectively.

But ever since dropping to lightweight, Taylor has spent so much time nursing various injuries that even James Irvin is beginning to look like the picture of health in comparison. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but if you were to peruse over Taylor’s Wikipedia page, you would find that the phrase “was expected to face” appears more times than the phrase “won by.” Sad but true, folks.

Check out the full history of Taylor’s troubles after the jump. 

It’s finally almost time for UFC 145, which means we have some preliminary fights on FX to make snarky comments through. We have a fight between TUF champions turned gatekeepers Mac Danzig and Efrain Escudero, a matchup between Anthony Njokuani and John Makdessi, we find out if Matt Brown will live to fight another day against Stephen Thompson, and we get a heavyweight bout between Travis Browne and Chad Griggs to keep us entertained before the main card tonight. Grab a sammich and a bottle of the finest flavor of Night Train Express that the nearest gas station sells and join us for round-by-round results.

Live, round-by-round results from the UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans preliminary broadcast will be collecting after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato’s ultimate (weekend) warrior, Seth Falvo. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Please stand by.

(Thank God they brought in Joe Silva to separate two former UFC champions if things got heated.) 

With the exception of John Makdessi, who weighed in at 158 pounds and was forced to hand over 20 percent of his purse to opponent Anthony Njokuani, all fighters made weight at this afternoon’s UFC 145 weigh-ins. Jon Jones tipped the scales at the light-heavyweight limit of 205, where Rashad Evans weighed-in just shy at 204. One of the more interesting moments from the event, as noted by our buddy Ariel Helwani, was the stare down between the newly re-signed Miguel Torres and Michael McDonald. Obviously a fan of how the 209 do business, Torres put on his finest mean mug for the pair’s stare down, only to be basically laughed at by “Mayday,” who clearly wasn’t intimidated.

Another thing of note: Despite weighing in just under the heavyweight limit, Ben Rothwell looked to be in way better shape than we’ve seen in the past. Will it help him come fight night? Probably not, but we can all dream.

Full results and the video are after the jump. 

(Two words: Cultivating mass.)

Oh my God, you guys. We are just two days away from a match so epic that it threatens to implode our entire universe and send it spiraling down a black hole quicker than a Duane Ludwig knockout. And since most of us are still trying to financially recover from Christmas (only to spend nearly as much on New Year’s Eve, ironically), why not place some bets with us and end this sumbitch on a bang instead of a whimper? Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our Negrodamus-esque advice below.

Main Card
Brock Lesnar (+110) vs. Alistair Overeem (-130)
Nate Diaz (+240) vs. Donald Cerrone (-280)
Jon Fitch (-230) vs. Johny Hendricks (+190)
Vladimir Matyushenko (+285) vs. Alexander Gustafsson (-345)
Nam Phan (-230) vs. Jimy Hettes (+190)

Preliminary card (televised on Spike)
Ross Pearson (-300) vs. Junior Assunçao (+250)
Anthony Njokuani (+155) vs. Danny Castillo (-175)

Preliminary card (Facebook)
Dong Hyun Kim (-360) vs. Sean Pierson (+300)
Jacob Volkmann (-260) vs. Efrain Escudero (+220)
Matt Riddle (-115) vs. Luis Ramos (-105)
Manvel Gamburyan (+200) vs. Diego Nunes (-240)

Thoughts…

(At least there will always be this to tide us over.) 

Bad news for any of you Brits out there planning on attending UFC 138 (because, let’s be honest, you will be the only ones doing so.) Word has it that Paul Taylor has suffered minor whiplash as a result of a recent rear-end collision he was involved in and will not be competing in his main card lightweight clash with Anthony Njokuani.

As you may or may not remember, this is not the first time Taylor has been forced to pull out of a fight at the last minute. Back at UFC 112, he was deemed medically unfit to compete just days before his bout with John Gunderson after suffering a severe migraine as a result of his weight cut. This marks the third total fight in Taylor’s UFC career that he has withdrawn from as a result of injury. One more, and he will be entering James Irvin territory, which is second only to Cabrini-Green in terms of places no one ever wants to find themself.

I think this is British for “Your spotted dick jokes are original and clever, sir”.

When it was first announced that UFC 138 was going to be headlined by Leben vs. Munoz, we had our doubts about the card. Unless your last name is “Silva”, “Okami”, “Stann” or “Sonnen”, there isn’t really a reason to be excited about the winner of that fight getting a title shot. Fortunately, even without a compelling main event, there should still be some pretty interesting fights on this card. It also helps that it will air on Spike TV, meaning that you won’t have to pay extra to watch it. And, for what it’s worth, Ariel Helwani is reporting that Leben vs. Munoz will be the first five round, non-title main event.

The UFC recently announced the addition of a welterweight fight between John Hathaway and Pascal Krauss to the card. A Brighton, England native, Hathaway is 5-1 in the UFC. His most recent outing at UFC Fight Night: Nogueira vs. Davis saw him pick up a split decision victory over Kris McCray. Undefeated in ten professional fights, Pascal Krauss is looking to build on the momentum he gained in his UFC debut, a unanimous decision victory over Mark Scanlon at UFC 122 which earned him Fight of the Night honors. That fight also marked the first time that Krauss has ever seen the third round in his professional career.

ATTENTION PAUL BUENTELLO: Please do this at Bellator 48.  PLEASE.

“The only great failure in life is the failure to try.” -Some old wise man, probably with a large beard

Fail is sort of like porn. You can’t really define it properly, but you know it when you see it. And brother, we’ve seen some fail watching our favorite sport. It can happen anytime, from walking out to the ring, to celebrating your victory (see above), and anytime between. We here at CagePotato hold MMA and fighters in our highest regard … but we still like to point and laugh every once in a while. Allow us to present to you our first (in what we assume will be many) installment of MMA Fails.

Special thanks go out to anyone and everyone who ever GIF’d a video, including the fine people at UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO.  Props.

Now let’s get it on!

No caption needed, really.

Well people, hopefully you are enjoying a day off with some barbecued animal carcass and a nice cold beer (or some grilled zucchini and tofu scramble, whatever scratches your itch).  Join us as we look back on the action from UFC 132 and what we can take away from a card as wild and unpredictable as this one.  If a story comes out that some guy hit an eleven fight parley, we’re going to track him down and burn him as a sorcerer.  Seriously, there’s playing a hunch, and then there’s invoking demons to influence the reality on our plane of existence.

First, some things must not be spoken of.

Like Wanderlei Silva losing, or Tito Ortiz winning.  Sometimes, great reflection is required to glean the lessons of life from events that at first seem incomprehensible.  Sometimes, understanding must elude us forever.

Come on in and let’s talk five things.

(A year is a long time to wait to get beaten up.)

The UFC announced that the long-rumored light heavyweight title bout between champ Mauricio "Shogun" Rua and former champ Rashad Evans as well as a bantamweight contender bout between former WEC featherweight champion Urijah Faber and former bantamweight champion Eddie Wineland will act as co-main events for UFC 128 Saturday March 19 in Newark, New Jersey.

According to the UFC.com, the event, which will take place at the Prudential Center, will also feature a featherwight match-up between Joseph Benevidez and Ian Loveland as well as a pair of lightweight showdowns pitting Kurt Pellegrino against Gleison Tibau and Edson Barbosa against Anthony Njokuani.

Although they have yet to be officially announced, the event, which was originally being planned for Abu Dhabi, will purportedly also include a welterweight scrap between Mike Pyle and Ricardo Almeida as well as a heavyweight tilt between Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovi?  and Brendan Schaub.

(Fight starts at the 5:50 mark. Props: MMAVideosPL)

Polish Anderson Silva? Not quite yet, but Maciej Jewtuszko is well on his way to making his name in the U.S. Closing out the preliminary portion of WEC 50 against Anthony Njokuani, things started out shaky the WEC newcomer. Jewtuszko got punched out of the air and onto his ass when Njokuani caught and countered his double-kick attempt. Njokuani made Jewtuszko pay with some hard punches from the top, but eventually decided to let Maciej to his feet. It was a decision that Njokuani would immediately regret.

Watch as Jewtuszko finds the right moment to land a spinning backfist/elbow to Njokuani’s chin. The follow-up guillotine choke attempt doesn’t pan out, but the finishing uppercuts certainly do. The win netted Jewtuszko his eighth consecutive stoppage victory, and his first WEC knockout bonus. Expect to see this guy again in the near future.

Related: Njokuani’s nickname on Wikipedia is currently listed as "The Nigerian Money Offer."

(Rematches? Bendo don’t need no stinkin’ rematches.)

In an interview with the Las Vegas Sun following his second win in a row over Donald Cerrone at the generic Aldo vs. Faber event in Sacramento, CA this past weekend WEC lightweight champ Ben Henderson says that he isn’t interested in fighting any of the guys he has faced in the past. If he has his way, which is very unlikely given the WEC’s penchant for rematches (see Faber vs. Brown or Faber vs. Pulver), it would mean that the promotion would have to bring in a new roster of talent, considering his list of former opponents include the top contenders in the division like former champ Jamie Varner, Anthony Njokuani and Shane Roller.

When asked by Brett Okamoto whether he was impressed by Roller’s first round submission win over Njokuani (who, in an  interview prior to the event told the reporter that he was in talks to face the winner of Henderson-Cerrone) Saturday night, Henderson replied, “I did catch Shane’s performance (Saturday) and he had a smart game plan. But I’m not looking to rematch people I’ve fought before. If I fight somebody and knock him out in a minute-thirty, do I want to fight him again? No; not so much.”

(Props: WatchKalibRun)

After laying low for most of the month, the completely arbitrary numerical rankings system known as The Potato Index has been jarred from its slumber following this weekend’s absolutely insane "Aldo vs. Faber" event. And now, it’s time for some scores to be handed down with the wrath of a fat goth chick. Let’s hit it…

Jose Aldo +199
Aldo did what most of us expected him to do, which is run through the California Kid like a hot knife through corn-rowed butter. But his unfortunate stalling in the last round — when he could have put Faber out of his misery at any moment, or at least followed his corner’s advice and let Faber up when he went down — suggested that the WEC featherweight champ is cool with just running out the clock sometimes. It’ll be a problem if it becomes a habit. For now, you can’t get too mad at him, especially since Faber absorbed a level of damage that would have stopped almost any other fighter.

Urijah Faber -74
His hometown paper may be calling for his retirement, the freakin’ vultures, but let’s look at the positives: Faber still has one of the most passionate followings in all of MMA. He will not quit, no matter how bad things are going for him. And although his legacy at featherweight may be ending, there’s still a bantamweight division in the WEC that would probably love to have him. Time to set up Faber vs. Torres?

("Due to my contract with No Fear, I am legally forbidden from pissing my pants right now." / Photo courtesy of the WEC 48: Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.)

Sure, we’re calling it a WEC event, but things will be running a little differently tonight: Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg are handling commentary, Chandella is co-headlining the ring girl pit, and the fighter introductions will be delivered by the sensual vocal stylings of Bruce Buffer. Plus, you’re paying for it, which would be a bummer if the card wasn’t so stacked. In the headlining slots: Jose Aldo makes his first featherweight belt defense against former champ Urijah Faber, and lightweight champ Ben Henderson tries to make it 2-0 against cowboy-hatted nemesis Donald Cerrone. Plus: Mike Brown, Anthony Njokuani, Scott Jorgensen, Leonard Garcia, and a man known as "The Korean Zombie" will all be fighting for your entertainment. Round-by-round "Aldo vs. Faber" results can be found after the jump starting at 9 p.m. ET; refresh the page every few minutes for all the gruesome details.

(Fun fact: Jose Aldo got that scar when he was a baby, after his sisters rolled him onto a barbecue pit. Well, maybe that’s not so much a "fun" fact as a completely horrifying one. Depends on your definition of fun, I guess. / Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Now that some of you are sitting on hefty tax returns from defrauding the government while in prison, it’s time to see if we can turn those little nest eggs into big, throbbing piles of money. WEC 48 is this Saturday — only on Pay Per View! — and there are plenty of opportunities to beat the oddsmakers. But before we share our red-hot, sure-thing, can’t-miss tips*, let’s take a look at the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com…

MAIN CARD
Jose Aldo (-295) vs. Urijah Faber (+289)
Ben Henderson (even) vs. Donald Cerrone (-110)
Mike Brown (-600) vs. Manny Gamburyan (+500)
Shane Roller (-140) vs. Anthony Njokuani (+115)
Scott Jorgensen (-250) vs. Antonio Banuelos (+230)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Leonard Garcia (-130) vs. Chan Sung Jung (+110)
Anthony Pettis (-550) vs. Alex Karalexis (+505) 
Brad Pickett (-127) vs. Demetrious Johnson (even)
Chad Mendes (-465) vs. Anthony Morrison (+375)
Takeya Mizugaki (-150) vs. Rani Yahya (+130)
Brandon Visher (-300) vs. Tyler Toner (+240)

* We kindly request that you don’t consult previous editions of the Gambling Enabler to verify this claim.

Damn, a lot of surprises here…

MMA Fighter Kicked in Face – Watch more Funny Videos

Things were already going poorly for Chris Horodecki against Anthony Njokuani at WEC 45, then he made the mistake of turning his back on his opponent for just a moment to collect his thoughts.  Too bad Njokuani isn’t the type to give a fella a breather.  Instead he smashed Horodecki’s face with this brutal head kick, resulting in a TKO loss for "The Polish Hammer" and a fractured sinus and right orbital bone.  Horodecki was issued a medical suspension until June 8 (or until he’s cleared by a doctor) for his injuries, so he’ll probably be spending the holidays with a bag of frozen peas pressed to his face, popping painkillers and explaining to friends and relatives that their gifts would have been much nicer if only he’d gotten that win bonus like he was planning on.

Horodecki made $12,000 to get his head kicked in, which doesn’t count taxes, licensing fees, or deductions for his trainers.  That’s tough enough as it is, but when you consider that he probably won’t be able to get back to work for a few months it really makes you feel for the kid.  It’s a hard business, this fighting other people for money.  Something to keep in mind when you complain about only getting two days off work for Christmas this year.

(When Cowboy finds out that’s not a woman, he’s going to lose his shit. Photo courtesy of the WEC 45: After the Weigh ins set on CombatLifestyle.)

In the interest of equal time, we’d like to present the payout information for Saturday’s WEC card, in which 20 fighters split a combined $212,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses. Only Donald Cerrone and Joseph Benavidez earned more than $20,000. It’s a good thing that all of these guys have well-paying day jobs and fighting is just something they do to supplement their income on the weekends. Here are the numbers, courtesy of MMA Junkie…

Donald Cerrone: $34,000 (includes $12,000 win bonus, $10,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
def. Ed Ratcliff: $19,000 (includes $10,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Anthony Njokuani: $18,000 (includes $4,000 win bonus, $10,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Chris Horodecki: $12,000

Joseph Benavidez: $25,000 (includes $12,500 win bonus)
def. Rani Yahya: $9,000

Scott Jorgensen: $19,000 (includes $7,000 win bonus, $5,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
def. Takeya Mizugaki: $13,000 (includes $5,000 Fight of the Night bonus)