(“What the hell did you put in my Bud Light?”)

According to Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Antonio Inoki’s Inoki Genome Federation is trying to put together a pro wrestling bout between recently retired former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar and former PRIDE and WAMMA heavyweight champion Fedor Emelianenko.

The chances of the one-off fake fight happening are slim-to-none considering Brock mentioned that one of the main reasons he retired was to spend more time with his family after his pair of diverticulitis scares the past two years. Travelling to Japan likely isn’t high on his list of family vacations.

("Five…five dolla…five dolla, foot rong." [Ed. note: I sincerely apologize for that awful caption.] / Photo courtesy of sportsnavi.)

His MMA career? Dead in the water. His boxing comeback? Who knows. But the Miami Pound Machine gotta eat. And so, Kimbo Slice has reportedly agreed to perform at an IGF pro wrestling tournament on February 5th in Fukuoka, Japan. His opponent will be Shinichi "Wakakirin" Suzukawa, the marijuana-scandalized sumo wrestler who allegedly went off the script against Mark Coleman last year. (Wakakirin was also supposed to wrestle Bob Sapp at Dynamite!! 2010, but Frankenhood pulled out at the last moment like the professional he is.) And before you ask, yes, Josh Barnett will be part of the tourney as well. 

Note to Kimbo: If you "win" your first match, Antonio Inoki may want to slap the shit out of you in front of everybody. I know, if that happened on a street-corner in Perrine, he would be as dead as yesterday’s chicken. (That’s something that people say, right?) As it turns out, the slapping is actually a sign of respect and well-wishing. Please inform your crew.

(Google Image Search result #1 for “freak show.” Apologies.)

From FightOpinion:

Nikkan Sports has a report claiming that Antonio Inoki is interested in Kurt Angle making his MMA debut on the IGF 4/12 Osaka Prefectural Gym show. According to Inoki, Angle will likely participate with open-fingered gloves and that it may be a 3-way MMA match involving Naoya Ogawa & Josh Barnett. Making this story even better is the fact that Angle has to work a TNA PPV the next day (4/13) in the States.

From Fightlinker:

DEEP is putting on a ‘Megaton’ grand prix, which means it’s a big fatty fest. Not only is this the most awesome concept ever, but if you’re a fat fuck too, you get free booze!

DEEP has announced the match-ups for their Megaton GP. I expect the fighters going at it with a lot of heart and maybe not the best of skills in this event. All in all, should make for some exciting fights.

Also, audience members weighing in at over 100kg can expect a 500yen drink coupon.

I guess the better question is — which of these events would you rather watch with your buddies while stoned? Hook us up, Mark…