Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira

(Look, Dana isn't saying that you guys have to hate each other; he's just saying that he could understand why Thiago might be upset about some of the things Rashad may or may not have written about him on the Zuffa office's bathroom wall.)

It's the first rule of fight promoting, and the UFC knows it better than anyone: when life gives you staph infections, make staph infectionade.  Only, you know, don't call it that.  After losing Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira off the UFC 108 card, and with him their main event feature attraction, the UFC has responded by pushing the Rashad Evans-Thiago Silva bout to the top spot and rebranding it a "grudge match."  They don't go into much detail to explain the grudge part of that phrase, but we can probably assume that they're going to be using the old 'you beat my teammate and now I must beat you' angle. 

In reality, Evans and Silva have expressed nothing but gentlemanly respect for one another's skills, with the only hint of a grudge coming from Evans' remark that Silva gave him "a nasty look" after defeating Keith Jardine.  Ken Shamrock-Tito Ortiz it ain't, but at this point the UFC is probably just grateful to have two warm, relatively healthy bodies to put in the cage on January 2nd. 

As for Big Nog, he apologized to his fans but wisely noted "I have learned from my mistakes, and I'm not going into a fight unless I can give 100% my best performance."  Nog is currently getting medical treatment in San Diego, according to the UFC, and we wish him a speedy recovery. 

(This is why you always wash your hands after handling Maxim photo shoot props. For all you know, Fergie might have touched them before you.)

If the strongest among us aren't safe from disease, there can be little hope for the rest of us mere mortals.  According to Dana White, Brock Lesnar is “not going to be fighting for a while” because his condition has worsened of late and doctors “don’t really know all that’s wrong with him.”  Though DW said his condition wasn’t life-threatening, he added that Lesnar did have some other health issue in addition to mono, but declined to say exactly what it was, calling it “very serious.”  Sounds like he wasn't faking sick, after all.

Even giants get ill sometimes, so it shouldn’t be so frightening to hear that Lesnar is laid low, right?  Normally, perhaps.  But this comes near the end of an illness and injury-riddled year for the UFC, and things only seem to be getting worse.  Former champ Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is also going through some rough times, and a resurgent staph infection has forced him to pull out of UFC 108 and will likely result in him being hospitalized.  On its own, it might only be a personal struggle for Big Nog.  But in light of Lesnar's illness and other current trends, it is surely a harbinger of doom. 

("Stay...off...my...LAWN!" Photo courtesy of Fighters.com)

While Strikeforce is still locking down fights for their November 7th "Fedor vs. Rogers" card, the UFC already has their plans finalized. In an effort to draw eyes away from the World's Greatest Heavyweight, Spike TV will be airing a two-hour special at 9 p.m. ET/PT called "UFC Main Events." The lineup will include:

- Randy Couture vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira from UFC 102
- Vitor Belfort vs. Rich Franklin from UFC 103
- BJ Penn vs. Kenny Florian from UFC 101
- Forrest Griffin vs. Anderson Silva from UFC 101

None of these fights have ever been seen on basic cable, which is good news for those of you who haven't had the time or money to keep up with the UFC's recent pay-per-view broadcasts. But while previous viewership battles between the UFC and Strikeforce haven't always been held on level playing fields, the UFC will now be putting some of its best product on Spike to compete with a potentially massive audience on CBS. Tables, they turn sometimes. We're about to find out how strong the UFC brand really is...

(Dos Santos, Destroyer of Worlds.)

Though it was previously rumored that Gabriel Gonzaga would be taking on Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in December, Fighters.com is now reporting that Gonzaga will instead be taking on another dangerous Brazilian heavyweight, Junior Dos Santos. The match isn't officially tied to an event yet, but it will likely take place at UFC 107 or 108. Gonzaga recently rebounded from his loss to Shane Carwin by scoring a controversial TKO over Chris Tuchscherer at UFC 102. Meanwhile, Junior Dos Santos has been a perfect 3-0 in the Octagon, most recently breaking down Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic at UFC 103. (Speaking of which, Cro Cop now says he's not retiring from the sport, and hopes to finish out his UFC contract, though he did want to hang himself in his hotel room after the Dos Santos loss.)

Now that Nogueira is currently without an opponent, the UFC might match him up against the winner of Velasquez/Rothwell to determine the next heavyweight title contender — or they can just give him a shot after Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin settle their grudge in November. And of course if Junior Dos Santos runs through Gonzaga, he'll be another legitimate candidate for a title shot. Wait a minute, is the UFC's heavyweight class the new "shark tank" division, like 205 used to be? Right now, it seems be the only weight-class with a deep bullpen of strong, fresh contenders who could realistically challenge for the title. How the hell did that happen?

('Tell your friend he's next! Well, I guess he's just right over there. You know what, don't worry about it. I'll tell him myself.')

With “Rampage” Jackson running off to play a mohawk-less B.A. Baracus in the “A-Team” movie, the MMA world was left wondering whether Rashad Evans would get a replacement opponent, or if he would just have to go out there on his own and entertain the crowd with fifteen minutes of stand-up about how different the Catholic church would be if the pope was black.  Thankfully, that seems like it won’t be necessary, as both Evans and Thiago Silva have reportedly verbally agreed to meet at UFC 108 in January. 

Obviously this isn’t as satisfying as the fight between Evans and Jackson would have been after a long season of reality TV trash talk.  But at least there’s something resembling an interesting angle, what with Silva knocking out Evans’ teammate, Keith Jardine at UFC 102 and both Silva and Evans suffering knockout losses to Lyoto Machida.  Think of this as a fight to determine who still stands a chance at getting another turn on the Machida karate beatdown-go-round.

In other bookings news/rumors…