(“It’ll never happen, ladies. Now go back to the kitchen and make me an eight-sided sandwich.” / Image via CagePotato’s Facebook page, which you should all follow immediately.)

By the CagePotato.com Staff

They were undeniable truths — until suddenly, they weren’t. Check out our latest list below, and ask yourself: What do I believe now that will turn out to be utter bullshit someday?

1. Alistair Overeem will become the UFC heavyweight champion in less than a year.

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

2. There’s no way a boxer could ever beat a mixed martial artist under MMA rules.

3. Rickson’s record is 400-0. No, seriously.
 

(If the UFC really wanted to save TUF: Brazil, perhaps they could start by firing the 8 year-old responsible for photoshopping their promo posters.) 

Although the seventeenth season of the original The Ultimate Fighter marked a much-needed improvement in the reality show over that of previous seasons (and saw a substantial climb in ratings as a result), apparently the same cannot be said about its international counterpart, TUF: Brazil. Apparently.

Yes, despite pulling in nearly 8 million viewers during its first season, TUF: Brazil 2 — which features Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Fabricio Werdum as opposing coaches – is crashing and burning. According to a report by Brazilian outlet Ataque Total, the reality show has not been renewed for a third season as a result of continually waning fan interest:

With near 1-million viewers per episode, the season two of TUF Brazil don’t had the success of the first and is airing on 23h50 of Sundays. The second season has 16 welterweights in only one weight class and Minotauro Nogueira divides the coaching with Fabricio Werdum.

A huge team rivalry, lots of injuries and some boring fights is almost a trademark in the season. It’s a huge news for the brazilian MMA, with the sport losing its only weekly program in the biggest TV channels of Brazil. Alongside TUF Brazil, Rede Globo also shows 3 UFCs per year (usually Anderson Silva and Jose Aldo ones) and other channels like Bandeirantes, Record and RedeTV aren’t into the MMA world yet. 

As one would expect, the UFC has already taken to the interwebs to dispute these reports…

(Props to FightersOnly for the find.) 

In the filmmaking/advertising business, the most common phrase you will hear is “Hey kid, if you want to make it anywhere you WILL get in this van.” But the second most common thing you will hear is to “show, not tell” — which oddly enough, normally precedes the first saying. So it is perhaps a testament to the people working in the Brazilian sector of Honda’s marketing department that they were able to convey so much in their new 45 second ad despite the fact that I couldn’t understand a goddamned word that was being said.

Seriously, this video has everything. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira rubbing lotion on his gloves. NO I DON’T KNOW WHY. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira eating a pineapple and dancing Gangnam style, then getting a spray tan. AGAIN, NO IDEA. Yet at the end of the day, the message is clear: HONDA GOOD. HONDA GET WOMAN. And being that it’s Brazilian, the ad also makes sure to squeeze in a few seconds of said women engaging in a pose-off whilst flames shoot out of some giant mechanical ring in the background. Did I not mention that this video has everything?

After the jump: A completely unrelated video that proves the superiority of Brazilian television once and for all. Again, it’s probably better if you just go in blind for this one.

(Photo via MMAWeekly)

The UFC hasn’t yet made an official announcement, but several outlets are reporting that former Pride and UFC heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo “Minotauro” Nogueira and contender Fabricio Werdum are set to coach against one another on the next edition of TUF Brazil and then fight one another. The first season of TUF Brazil featured Wanderlei Silva and Vitor Belfort as opposing coaches, and was a ratings success, although Belfort had to bow out of his beef-settling fight with Wandy due to a broken hand.

Brazil’s GloboEsporte reports that TUF Brazil will begin airing in March and that the two fighters have verbally agreed to take part as coaches. Nogueira and Werdum previously fought one another in the quarterfinals of PRIDE’s 2006 Openweight Grand Prix, with “Minotauro” earning a unanimous decision. Werdum is currently on a two-fight win streak in his latest stint in the UFC, with impressive victories over Roy Nelson and Mike Russow. Nogueira has lost three out of his last six fights but got back on the winning track this month at UFC 153 with a dominating submission win over Dave Herman.

- Elias Cepeda

(“You know what else doesn’t work on me? Left hooks to the fa-DAMN IT!” / Photo via Inovafoto)

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is the oldest 36-year-old in the history of humanity. And while he came into his UFC 153 fight against Dave Herman as a more-than 2-1 favorite, he didn’t inspire much confidence at the weigh-ins, where he dragged his way up to the stage, shook Arianny Celeste‘s hand (perhaps mistaking her for Burt Watson?), used his brother to brace himself while taking off his wind pants, removed his shirt to reveal a noticeably soft midsection, then limped his way to the staredown.

As it turns out, there’s a reason why Big Nog may have looked even more decrepit than usual that weekend (via MMAConvert):

Former interim UFC heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira fought Dave Herman at UFC 153 with a fractured rib. Nogueira suffered the injury a week into training for the short notice bout with Herman in Brazil. “Fractured my rib three weeks ago on my right side,” said Nogueira, in an interview with SporTV. “I went to the doctor, took a local anesthetic to be able to train.”

Props: mmafanmade.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

If there’s a word that sums up UFC 153, it’s got to be “wow”. Anderson Silva gave another performance indicating that we do indeed live in the Matrix. Jon Fitch was in the most exciting fight of the night, and one of the best of the year. Big Nog submitted a man impervious to jiu-jitsu. Demian Maia choked/neck-cranked a man so hard he had a mini-hemorrhage and blood spurted out of his nose. And perhaps most impressive of all, Wagner Prado actually stopped a hat thief.

The bottom line is UFC 153 was an amazing card that delivered from top to bottom. Could it have been better if it had Frankie Edgar square off against Jose Aldo? Probably. But I’ll take another transcendental show from Anderson Silva any day of the week. And that’s exactly what his fight with Stephan Bonnar was. After a slip, Bonnar pressed Silva into the cage, presumably looking to wear the smaller fighter down. Silva wasn’t having any of it, offering a few knees, shoulder shrugs and nothing else. Bonnar backed away and then things got weird. Silva remained on the fence, hands down, encouraging Bonnar to hit him.

Now, I know Stephan Bonnar isn’t the world’s greatest striker. He’s never shown serious knockout power, and his technique has never been the best. But he’s still a 230 pound man who’s spent the majority of his adult life learning how to hurt people. He’s a professional fighter. And for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds last night, those facts didn’t amount to jack shit. Silva dodged, deflected or simply absorbed Bonnar’s offense for about two minutes, demonstrating what a black belt in Tae Kwon Do is worth against a man who seems to know what you’re going to do before you do. Then, Silva decided to end the fight. He tripped Bonnar, established some separation, and then connected with a debilitating, pin-point knee to the solar plexus. Bonnar – who had never been stopped with strikes before – collapsed and waited for the end to come. Mercifully, it did.

(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The matchup between UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight non-champion Stephan Bonnar has been called everything from a “fun fight,” to a mother’s worst nightmare. Tonight at the HSBC Center in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, we’re going to find out what this weird freak show will actually look like. Our only prediction is that Griffin Bonnar‘s first image of his father will be a bruised and lumpy one.

Luckily, there are plenty of far-more-legitimate matches on the UFC 153 main card, including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Dave Herman, Erick Silva vs. Jon Fitch, and Glover Teixiera vs. Fabio Maldonado. And as with previous shows in Brazil, the local fans will make sure that the show is just as entertaining outside of the cage.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 153 pay-per-view broadcast will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and be sure to tell us how you feel in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by.

(It was at the UFC 153 pre-fight press conference that Stephan Bonnar revealed his true gameplan to defeat Anderson: G.T.L.) 

All the fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 153 event are scheduled to hit the scales starting at 3 p.m. EST this afternoon from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so make sure to swing by the Tater to check out all the intense, barely-clothed staredowns you could ever ask for. Did that come off as gay? Because we didn’t mean for it to come off as gay; not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Anyway, a string of injuries (go figure) and a good old fashioned case of hepatitis have dramatically altered the face of UFC 153, leaving us with a main event matchup that, when viewed through an incredibly narrow and skewed lens, is almost plausible. So swing by this afternoon to see whether or not Stephan Bonnar will piss himself after he realizes just how big of a mistake he has actually made, whether or not Anderson Silva will come dressed as a Jabbawockee again, and whether or not the Brazilian audience will still be donning their “I fucked Chael Sonnen Last Night” t-shirts. Also, be sure to swing by tomorrow at 10 p.m. EST for our official liveblog of all the action!

(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012′s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.

Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and the curse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Facebook + FX prelims

Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.

Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.

(“The Burger King Triple Stacker — I don’t jump up to light-heavyweight on short notice without it.”)

After UFC 153 lost its main event and co-main event in the same day, UFC matchmakers needed to get creative if they wanted to avoid another financially devastating event-cancellation. And by God, they’ve gotten creative. USA Today has just confirmed that Anderson Silva will now be headlining the October 13th event in Rio de Janeiro, in a light-heavyweight feature against…Stephan, freakin’, Bonnar. Allow that delicious insanity to sink in for just a moment. Alright, let’s continue.

The report follows an earlier story broken by MMAFighting, which confirmed that Frankie Edgar has been removed from the event altogether. So if you chose “other” in today’s poll, award yourself five PotatoBux.

This will be the third light-heavyweight UFC appearance for Silva, who previously scored brilliant knockouts against 205′ers James Irvin (in July 2008) and Forrest Griffin (in August 2009). Bonnar, who is currently riding a three-fight win streak, has been vocal in recent months about his desire to get at least one more big fight before he exits the sport — remember his campaign for a TUF coaching gig against Griffin? — and sort of retired in July due to his frustration that another marquee matchup wasn’t materializing. Well, Bonnar’s got his big fish, for better or for worse. And if he lasts more than one round against the Spider, he’ll do better than any UFC light-heavyweight before him.

(Thanks to tufentertainment.net for the fitting logo.)

By Nathan Smith

With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.

Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.

The Season That Started it All 

The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.

“I have no problem with you competing like this, but first you’re going to have to trim those bangs.”

There’s nothing funny about the ‘Injury Curse‘ that’s been pillaging the UFC 149 card of talent, and for once our piss-poor writing isn’t to blame. Last night Sherdog.com broke the news (and what was left of our hearts) that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira has not fully recovered from the broken arm he suffered courtesy of a Frank Mir kimura back at UFC 140.

Some might say it was wishful thinking when we prematurely celebrated how quickly “Minotauro” was healing; others might say it was a slow news day and that a short video helped fill the void. Either way, Dr. Frankenstein is running low on corpses and won’t be able to swap out Big Nog’s arm in time for his July 21^st duel with the rule breaking hard hitting Cheick Kongo.

Details on Kongo’s opponent and how this card stacks up in the ‘Injury Card Hall Of Fame’ after the jump.

(Fedor, seen here seconds before appearing in the most famous MMA sex tape of all time: “Two Scoops, One Emperor”) 

Just a few weeks out from what could be his last fight as a mixed martial artist (Author’s note: I just held back vomit whilst typing that.), Russian demigod Fedor Emelianenko recently popped up in a Mercedes-Benz commercial, if only for a few seconds of ultra slo-mo glory. For some reason, the creative talent in charge of said commercial thought it would be cooler for Fedor to don a tuxedo rather than his Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, which is as big a travesty as anything we’ve ever seen in the five years we’ve been in existence. Not since Overeem/Dos Santos has such an opportunity been squandered, so shame on you, Mercedes-Benz. Looks like our company car is going to be a Ferrari next year.

Check out the ad and let us know whether or not you will be boycotting Mercedes-Benz for this glaring oversight along with us.

They had us until they tried to pass off diving as a sport. Like we all don’t know it’s just falling with style. Just ask Jason Statham.

(We’re sorry, Tom, but it’s just not the same. Photo courtesy of MMAMania.)

Just a couple of hours ago, the UFC held a press conference in Shaw Court, Alberta, Canada, to promote UFC 149: Jose Aldo vs. Some Guy (it’s a joke, take it easy), which is expected to transpire on July 21st from Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Surprisingly absent from the conference was that of UFC President Dana White, who was in turn replaced by Director of Operations for UFC Canada, Tom Wright. Also absent was a hearty supply of French fries and gravy for the fighters involved, which was a real shame in our opinion.

In the co-main event of the evening, the most hated wanted man in the middleweight division, Michael Bisping, will square off against hard nosed slugger Tim Boetsch. Also expected for UFC 149 will be Antonio Rodrigo’s Nogueria’s return to the octagon for the first time since Frank Mir went all Paul Harris on his arm, the difference between their UFC 140 scrap and the average Paul Harris fight being that Nog waited until after Mir broke his arm to tap, not the other way around. Anyway, Big Nog will be squaring off against the inconsistent but always dangerous Cheick Kongo, who is coming off a knockout loss at the hands of Mark Hunt at UFC 144.

Check out the full video and lineup after the jump. 

(Fun fact: Nogueira’s body is composed mainly of replacement parts from grave-robbed corpses.)

UFC 149 (July 21st, Calgary) is picking up some heavyweight muscle in the form of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Cheick Kongo. The Calgary Sun first reported the matchup, adding that the event will likely be headlined by the Jon Jones vs. Dan Henderson light-heavyweight title fight.

Big Nog is coming off his gruesome kimura loss to Frank Mir at UFC 140 in December, a defeat that had many fans and pundits pleading for the legend’s retirement. Following that fight, Nogueira said he expected to return within nine months. Just seven months later, he’ll be taking one more kick at the cat against a tough striker in Kongo, who ate a first-round TKO loss against Mark Hunt in his last outing. Still, you can’t count either of these guys out (see: Nog vs. Schaub, Kongo vs. Barry). Are you happy to see Nogueira back in the Octagon? And who do you think will be left standing?

In other booking news…

CagePotato Roundtable is our new recurring column in which the CP writing staff and some of our friends all get together to debate an MMA-related topic. Joining us this week is former CagePotato staff writer Chad Dundas, who now writes for an up-and-coming blog called ESPN. If you have a suggestion for a future Roundtable column, send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

CagePotato reader Alexander W. writes: “The Demetrious Johnson vs. Ian McCall fight inspired my suggestion: Greatest robberies in MMA history. I’d be curious to hear the variety of opinions out there. Surely that fight was a top ten.”

Chad Dundas

There are a lot of things about Pride Total Elimination 2003 that don’t make sense when viewed with modern MMA sensibilities. How to even comprehend a world where a skinny, haired-up, suit jacket-wearing Dana White could bet Pride bigwigs $250,000 that Chuck Liddell was going to win that company’s 2003 middleweight grand prix? Or comprehend that a bizarrely dangerous and clearly-enunciating Liddell showed up in the first round of said tournament and KTFOed an impossibly svelte Alistair Overeem? Or that Overeem had an old dude in a robe and shriners hat accompany him to the ring while carrying a big foam hammer? Or that on this night somebody got tapped out with a sleeve choke? Or that Wanderlei Silva fought Kazushi Sakuraba and it didn’t just make everybody feel sad and empty?

No sense at all.

What does still sort of make sense is this: After watching Liddell sleep Overeem, there was no way on God’s green Earth that Pride judges were going to let another UFC emissary walk out of Saitama Super Arena with a win*, so they conspired to pull off one of the greatest screwjobs in MMA history when they awarded Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira a unanimous decision over Ricco Rodriguez. The indisputable fact is, Ricco whipped Big Nog good that night, taking him down, brutalizing him, shaking off his feeble submission attempts and controlling pretty much the whole affair. At least, that’s how I remember it. Unfortunately, due to Zuffa’s ongoing war on Internet piracy it seems their bout will only be remembered by history and by the creepy old man who answers the queries you submit to the Sherdog Fight Finder.

It has barely been a fortnight since Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria had his arm snapped into a thousand pieces compliments of a first round Frank Mir kimura at UFC 140. Besides being perhaps the most shocking, or at least unpredictable, finish in UFC History, it was a loss that to many signaled the end of the road for the former UFC Interim Heavyweight champ and PRIDE star. But leave it to a man who was run over by a Mac truck as a child to prove us wrong once again.

Yes, the above video serves as undeniable proof that “Minotauro’s” bones are made from some form of otherwordly carbon based material, or possibly the liquid metal that flows through Wolverine’s veins. Where most of us would still be at home trying to figure out the reverse monkey grip, Big Nog has already resumed training, and looks to be coming along nicely in his rehabilitation. The question is, who should he face next?

DISCUSS.

-J. Jones

(These things have been passed around more than Arlovski’s ex-girlfriend.)

Although the UFC only had five weight classes at the time, four years ago today it had seven champions and only two still hold a strap.

BJ Penn (155), Matt Serra (170), Anderson Silva (185), Quinton Jackson (205) and Randy Couture (265) held titles in their respective weight divisions, while Georges St-Pierre (170) and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (265) were the anointed interim champions.

Fun Fact: Anderson Silva is the only champ who still holds the same belt he did then.

Who is Milton Vieira, you ask? Well, other than a second degree black belt under Murilo Bustamante and a 13-7 veteran of such promotions as Deep, Strikeforce, and PRIDE, Vieira is also widely considered to be the inventor of the anaconda choke. A Brazilian Top Team standout who trains with the likes of Rousimar Palhares, “Miltinho” is credited as the creator of the submission popularized by Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria in his early PRIDE days, specifically in his back-to-back victories over Hirotaka Yokoi and Heath Herring. Big Nog claims that he was taught the maneuver by Vieira back when he used to train at BTT in the early 2000′s.

Coming off a successful first round Brabo choke victory over Sterling Ford at Strikeforce Challengers 18, Vieira will be making his featherweight debut for his first UFC contest, though a date and opponent has yet to be named.

This sculpture, made entirely of toothpicks and modelling clay, took first place at the Granger Elementary Art Fair. Congratulations to 3rd Grader Sarah M.

(Props to @robnashville for the tip on this story)

Brazilian MMA website Portal Do Vale Tudo is reporting that Antonio Silva already has a dance partner lined up for his UFC debut. “Bigfoot” will allegedly face former UFC Heavyweight Champion Cain Velasquez in an April clash. A poorly translated version of their report credits Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira with breaking the story in his weekly newspaper column [ed. note: please let it be the Portuguese version of “Dear Don”].

Silva has been recovering from a shoulder surgery that took place following his knock out loss to Daniel Cormier in the Strikeforce HWGP last September. It looks like the promotion’s heavyweight castoffs won’t be handled with kid gloves upon their arrival in the Octogon. This will be Cain’s first fight since his 64-second drubbing at the hands of Junior Dos Santos.

The match has not yet been announced or confirmed by the UFC. Silva’s manager, Alex Davis, initially denied the report, but somewhat changed his tune when he learned that “Minotauro” was the source of the rumor. According to Google Translate, he threatened Nogueira thusly: “Gee, I have to stick your ass it!”. Though we’re not exactly certain what that means, it sounds much more painful than any punishment John Dodson received for revealing Team Mayhem’s match-ups.

(Will Lesnar vs. Overeem bash out a place on the list, or will it inevitably fall short of the hype?)

Between Junior Dos Santos’s knee injury, Strikeforce phasing out their heavyweight division in 2012, and the general lack of UFC heavyweight fights lately (just three in their last five events, to be exact), it seems like MMA’s big-man scene is in hibernation mode.

But starting with Friday night’s UFC 141 main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Alistair Overeem — promoted as the “biggest” fight of the year — and continuing on to Josh Barnett vs. Daniel Cormier in March, the action among 265′ers is about to start heating up. With that mind, we decided to pay tribute to the greatest and most important heavyweight MMA fights from this past year. Enjoy, and let us know if we left out any of your favorites…

#6. DANIEL CORMIER vs. ANTONIO SILVA
Strikeforce World Grand Prix: Barnett vs. Kharitonov, 9/10/11

What happened: The smaller man fought like a giant. Cormier landed his punches at will and easily shrugged off Silva’s attempts to take the fight to the ground. Entering the tournament as an alternate, Cormier punched his ticket to the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix finals with a hook/uppercut combo that stiffened the Brazilian Frankenstein.
What we learned: Undersized doesn’t always mean outgunned — and a big chin doesn’t always mean a strong chin.

Now that we’ve all officially finished binge-eating/drinking our way through Christmas, our good pal DW is back and with a late gift of his own – the gift of heartbreak. In typical fashion, this week’s Danavlog focuses on the aftermath of UFC 140, giving us a behind the scenes look at the pre and post-fight moments of Tito Ortiz, Jon Jones, and perhaps most importantly, Krzystof Soszynski, who, after suffering a 35 second knockout at the hands of Igor Pokrajac, informs us that he has fought his last MMA contest. Whether he is just pulling a BJ Penn on us or is truly sincere about his decision remains to be seen, but if we really have witnessed the last of “The Polish Experiment,” we here at CP would just like to thank him for all the great fights and wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors.

Join us after the jump for the rest of the highlights.

(Nog with his new bionic arm.)

Two days after UFC president Dana White was shaking his head during the UFC 141 conference call wondering aloud what ever possessed Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira to opt to try to choke out a rocked Frank Mir rather than finish him up on the ground with punches during their UFC 140 bout a week and a half ago, and “Big Nog” has offered an explanation. According to the former PRIDE star and one-time interim UFC light heavyweight champion, referee Herb Dean made him switch gears when he told him his punches were illegal.

(I see trouble a brewin’ on the horizon.) 

Given their frequency within the sport, we oft discuss the rematch here at CagePotato: we’ve mentioned a few that we’d like to see, we’ve mocked the possible occurence of others, and we’ve even gone as far as to predict how future ones would go down. And with 2011 featuring over 10 in the UFC alone, we decided to take a look back at at a year that both showcased and disgraced the awesomeness that is the rematch. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you?

The Ones We Needed to See 

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Yushin Okami at UFC 134

(Silva v. Okami, though this image could be from just about any of Silva’s fights.) 

Why it had to happen: Because the first fight marked the last time Silva had lost…at anything, and even if it was by way of illegal upkick DQ, it was enough to convince some people that Okami had his number. Plus, Okami had earned his shot by this point, and we were getting pretty damned tired of debating this old issue.

How it happened: Absolute. Domination. In typical fashion, Silva toyed with Okami like he was wrestling with his 4 year old nephew, letting the audience know that the fight would end when he decided it would. A head kick that rocked Okami at the end of the first round reinforced this belief, and Silva mercifully finished him off in the second. Cut. Print. TKO.

What it proved: That, outside of Chael Sonnen, there are no threats left in the UFC’s middleweight division for Anderson Silva. As with Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, Silva must journey to another weight class if he desires a true challenge. Even DW is coming around to the idea, sort of.

(And here we have Ronda Rousey dumping Karo Parisyan on his head. Props: DantheWolfman)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- The Great ‘Must Retire’ List of 2011 (MMA Convert)

- Bellator’s 10 Best Fights of 2011 (The Fight Nerd)

- Photo Gallery: Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos Training for Hiroko Yamanaka (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- The 25 Most Outrageous MMA-Related Videos on YouTube (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Spike TV to Counter-Program ‘UFC on FOX 2′ With ‘UFC Unleashed: Evans vs. Davis’ (MMA Payout)

- Arianny Celeste: Chael Sonnen Is Very Polite To Me Backstage (FightLine)

- Keith Kizer: Urine Is ‘Obviously’ Better Than Blood for Steroid Testing (Fight Opinion)

- Dana White Sees Jon Jones as #2 Pound-for-Pound Fighter in the World (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Joseph Benavidez Inspired to Become a Great Champion in New UFC Flyweight Division (MMA Mania)

- Demian Maia: I Know I Can Submit Michael Bisping (MMAFighting)

- Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira Avoids Surgery on Broken Arm (5th Round)

- Can Someone Please Help Felice Herrig With Her Wardrobe Malfunction? (MiddleEasy)

What a couple of weeks it has been for the avid Jiu Jitsu fanatic. Diego Brandao scored a brilliant last second submission over Dennis Bermudez to walk away with a UFC contract and a down payment on his momma’s new house, Frank Mir added the most prized arm of all to his collection (a feeling that Mir would later refuse to go into detail about, but we imagine felt something like this), and Jon Jones used his Stretch Armstrong genetics to choke out a Jiu Jitsu black belt in Lyoto Machida with relative ease. And with each beautiful, gruesome, or eye opening technique that graces the octagon, Ryron and Rener are here to make sense of it all.

Today, the Gracie brothers touch on Tony Ferguson’s slick omaplata attempt from his unanimous decision victory over Yves Edwards at the TUF 14 Finale as well as Brandao’s glass plaque-earning effort before breaking down possibly the most shocking submission finish in MMA history, Frank Mir’s come from behind kimura over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria that absolutely destroyed the Brazilian’s arm, a picture of which can be seen after the jump:

There’s a time for fightin’, and a time for dancin’! Nog breaks out “The Robot“, Mir shows off the “Smooth Criminal“. (Photo: UFC.com)

I’m not sure what sort of pre-fight pep talk was given to the fighters in their locker rooms last night, but I hope somebody recorded it to play at all future events. “Never leave it in the hands of the judges” doesn’t begin to capture the sentiment that most of the fighters carried with them to the Octagon. Last night’s finishes were emphatic and extraordinary. Knocking your opponent out wouldn’t do—it would have to tie for the quickest KO in UFC history. Subbing the previously untapped wasn’t enough—you had to break them or render them unconcious.

We’ve already broken down the Jones-Machida bout, so we’ll just say the champion definitely gave us something to Skype about. Now, onto the rest of the card.

(Photo via @ufc)

The fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 140 event just finished weighing in at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre, with 23 of the 24 competitors coming in at or below their contracted limits. The sole fuck-up was Dennis Hallman, who was scheduled to make his lightweight debut against John Makdessi. Instead, he crushed the scales at 158.5, and was granted some extra time to get down to 156. And he’d better make it happen, considering that he’s already on the UFC’s bad side due to his unfortunate wardrobe choice in his last fight. Update: Hallman has been fined 20 percent of his purse for failing to make weight.

The other item worth noting is that Frank Mir weighed in 21 pounds heavier than Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira for their heavyweight rematch. Three years ago, their size difference was only five pounds. The full list of “Jones vs. Machida” weigh-in results is after the jump. Come back to CagePotato.com tomorrow night at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT for our liveblog of the pay-per-view main card, and catch up on our previous UFC 140 coverage on the Main Event page.

(The CagePotato HR Department: Boldly squashing inter-office disputes since 2007.) 

Just like pictures of hot womens and irresponsible opinions, pre-UFC event bickering has become a fixture here at CagePotato. In advance of this weekend’s card in Toronto, we locked Danga and ReX in a miniature Octagon with energy drinks, a blow-up doll, and a set of questions. We were dubious about the doll, but ReX insisted that hilarity would ensue, and he assures us that it did. It wasn’t mentioned in the final article, but some things you just don’t want to ask about.

Come on in past the jump and witness the confusion of two men discussing MMA while being distracted by said hot womens, touching on the subjects of likability, MMA Math, and the potential importance of fashion choices.

Just a friendly reminder that we’ll have the UFC 140 pre-fight press conference stream here starting at 1:00 pm ET. At the event, which will take place at the Toronto International Film Festival Lightbox,  will be main card participants Jon Jones, Lyoto Machida, Antonio Rodrigio Nogueira, Frank Mir, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Tito Ortiz.

Will Tito keep shoving his self-invented, “The People’s Champion” moniker down everyone’s throats?

Will Frank Mir tell everyone how much better he is than the Nogueiras?

Wil Jon Jones explain why he will always be the betting favorite in his future fights?

Will anyone ask Lyoto about drinking piss?

Will Lil’ Nog be asked any questions?

All of these questions and more will be answered after the jump at 1:00.