(Photo courtesy of HotChicksWithDouchebags.com.)

It’s a problem that affects so many Americans: You want to publicly proclaim your love of MMA, but when you wear Affliction and TapouT shirts to the bar, people automatically assume you’re an unbearable douchetard. It’s unfair, is what it is. We suggest checking out the following up-and-coming MMA apparel brands — rock this stuff and you’ll feel more “ahead of the curve” than “late to the party.”

ETERNAL UNLIMITED
The Lowdown: Repped by a horde of West Coast fighters like Nick Diaz, Nate Diaz, Jake Shields, Gilbert Melendez, and Joe Stevenson, Eternal launched a year ago with the goal of bringing street fashion and hip-hop influences to the MMA apparel scene. Their website features a “Technique of the Week” section, where EU’s sponsored fighters teach everything from guard-sweeps to keylocks.
CP Approved: The King (above) and the Shark, because predators are kickass!

SIX DEUCE GEAR
The Lowdown: Straight outta Ames, Iowa, Six Deuce has been putting out quirky fight-sport-themed apparel since late 2005. If you’re reading this site, you probably don’t mind a little humor mixed in with your MMA, which means the Deuce could be right up your alley.
CP Approved: The Japanophilic Fate shirt (above), as well as the Joe Rogan-friendly Rolling Stoned and the men’s room-influenced Bye Bye Head.

(No homo. Photo courtesy of MLive.com.)

From a press release distributed late yesterday:

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (September 13, 2008) – Golden Boy Promotions and Affliction Clothing today announced a strategic, multi-level partnership between the two companies that will bring the popular Affliction-brand to the world of boxing and entertainment.

“We have been talking to Affliction over the past several months to figure out a partnership that will take advantage of the expertise of both of our companies,” said Golden Boy Promotions CEO Richard Schaefer. “We have found the solution and are extremely excited about starting this partnership immediately.”

“Golden Boy Promotions is the top boxing promoter in the world and we look forward to working with them on future projects,” said Tom Atencio, Vice President, Affliction. “With our companies working together, it gives Affliction another vehicle to deliver our products to our core customers, as well as utilizing Golden Boy’s promotional expertise to further our efforts in Mixed Martial Arts.”

The partnership includes:

(Breathtaking.)

Apparently, action figures were just the beginning. According to a news release on UFC.com:

[F]ans of the Ultimate Fighting Championship will soon be able to collect Jakks Pacific UFC figures, use UFC-branded Bic lighters and Silver Buffalo watches, shop with a UFC credit card, and pick up UFC apparel at JC Penney stores…

Already, UFC-branded Bic lighters are hitting retail shelves, and after April’s ‘soft’ launch of UFC t-shirts at 450 JC Penney stores, the retailer will create “UFC Hot Zones” in August that will sell shirts and headwear in the Young Men’s department. Silver Buffalo, which has developed licensed products for such brands as WWE, Elvis Presley, Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley, and Kiss, will come on board this summer with UFC-branded watches, barware, bar accessories, lighting, wall décor, and billiards and darts accessories, and on June 15th, US Bank launches its UFC VISA card with no annual fee and the option to receive points for UFC merchandise…

There are also going to be more than a few happy faces when official UFC action figures hit major retailers such as Wal-Mart, Target, K-Mart, and Toys R Us in Fall of 2009. Expected in this launch will be Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell, Forrest Griffin, Brock Lesnar, Antonio “Minotauro” Nogueira, Michael “The Count” Bisping and UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson “The Spider” Silva. Octagon playsets and role-play items based on the UFC brand and its classic and current roster of star fighters are also planned.

On the one hand, I’m really looking forward to the day when the checkout girl at the grocery store asks me “debit or credit,” and I slam down my customized UFC Visa card with the image of Joe Stevenson’s bloody face and say “What the fuck do you think?” But I’m also growing increasingly wary of the “WWE-ization” of MMA’s most prominent organization.