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Tag: April Fool’s Day

Wanderlei Silva Confirms That Gegard Mousasi Fight Rumor Was an April Fool’s Joke. We Think. It’s Kind of Hard to Tell.


(Wandy’s Trollshades increase his AprilFoolpower by a magnitude of eleventy bazillian. / Photo via Wandy’s FB fan page)

At some point, April Fool’s Day became less about playing elaborate pranks to humiliate your loved ones, and more about just lying to people all day. Nobody puts in the effort anymore. Announcing that your girlfriend/wife is pregnant on Facebook? Yeah, that’s not funny at all. (Side note: @Karmaatemycat gets a pass for doing this yesterday, because the idea of Jefferey Watts as a father is so terrifying that it actually made me hold my face in my hands for about 20 seconds.)

The MMA fighter equivalent of announcing a fake pregnancy is announcing a fake fight or retirement. Tim Kennedy did it. John Alessio did it. Louis Gaudinot did it. The idea is, these statements are believable enough to be true. But in the grand scheme of things, does anybody really give a fuck if John Alessio is coming in to replace Ryan Couture on Saturday? I hate to rag on a guy who we otherwise have so much respect for, but I’m just saying, it’s not a joke, it’s a lie, and making up lies about yourself to trick people is both uncreative and kind of egotistical. As our bro Vince puts it, “Getting me to believe something plausible but untrue is not a ‘prank.’ If that’s a prank, then man have I pranked some women and prospective employers, hoo boy.”

If you make your living on Internet like we do, April Fool’s Day has easily become the worst day of the year. (A close second? April 15th, aka, the Day of Great Reckoning.) Everybody’s a yukster, and you can’t believe a word you read, even if its true. So when Wanderlei Silva announced that the UFC approached him to replace Alexander Gustafsson against Gegard Mousasi on short notice for UFC on FUEL 9, we didn’t know what to think. I mean, we first dismissed it as bullshit — partially on the advice of Dana White himself — but Silva didn’t break character. He kept his story going. And going.

The biggest difference between Wanderlei’s possibly-fake fight announcement and all the others, is that Wandy actually reached out to media. He confirmed his story with MMAWeekly’s Ken Pishna. Then, he gave a rather entertaining interview to Tatame where he had this to say:

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Strikeforce Challengers Event in Stockton Revealed to be April Fool’s Day Prank

(“That whole Zuffa thing was just a gag too, right? No? That one was for real? Rats.” Pic: Prommanow)

From a Strikeforce press release

STOCKTON, Calf. — Strikeforce CEO Scot Coker held a press conference here on Friday to announce that tonight’s scheduled Challengers event at the Stockton Arena was just an elaborate April Fool’s Day joke, one that he admitted had gone too far.

Saying the whole idea was “just a goof,” Coker said he was surprised more people didn’t catch on sooner. “Come on, like we’re going to host an event in the most miserable city in the country, headlined by Rodrigo Damm?” Coker said. “Not even Showtime would go for that crap.”

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Ask the Internet Comment Section Fight Expert

(Pic: Flickr)

By 420fighteXXXpert69, Freelance Contributor

As the world’s foremost authority on mixed martial arts, 420fighteXXXpert69 has been trolling comment sections and lurking chat rooms since dropping out of high school back in 2005. After earning his GED, he’s now pretty sure he owns the most impressive collection of MMA T-shirts at his online community college. Seriously, ask him fucking anything, you fucking noobs …

What’s up, fags?!?! Welcome to another cacophony of fistic entertainment known to you fuckin’ cock gobblers as “Ask the Internet Comment Section Fight Expert.” Once again I’d like to thank CagePotato.com for letting me write this shit (Except for the edits! Fuck those!) and for paying me only in free MMA schwag. Except last week when they mailed me a fucking book! I did not read that shit … because I don’t suddenly want to start feeling hungry for dicks!!!

All eight of my Twitter followers have been straight BLOWIN ME UP this week with questions about everything UFC, so I better drop a knowledge bomb on your fucking lardasses before you get your panties in a wad and start a flame war YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO FINISH! Remember, if you have a question for future articles hit me up on Twitter, cuz my cell phone is shut off right now (Fuck you, Verizon!). Or you can call the house, but you have to speak slow cuz my grandmother is part Korean. OK, let’s see what you morons want to know this week …

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CagePotato Ban: The Phrase ‘You Guys’ in Headlines, You Guys

By BG

It’s funny how things we casually write on this site can grow to have a life of their own. From “The Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory” to the “Stockton Heybuddy,” tossed-off gags turn into running gags, which turn into official t-shirt names and UrbanDictionary pages. But there’s one that needs to come to an end right now. I think you guys know what I’m talking about.

“You Guys” first appeared in a CagePotato headline back in September 2009, as part of this classic Dan Quinn video post. At that time, it was already an existing meme that I basically stole from Videogum.com. Initially, I thought it would be a one-and-done sort of thing. Then I used it again. And again. Then, Old Dad* began to use it himself. “You Guys” was spiralling out of control.

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Pantydroppers of the Week: Jeremy Jackson, Mike Whitehead, and Joe Son

(Not actually a) Guest post by GalsGuidetoMMA.com

JEREMY JACKSON
Jeremy Jackson UFC MMA rape

Beth’s View

Doability – I’ve never gone for the “Would have probably been a Nazi if he grew up in 1930s Germany” look, but there’s something about Jeremy that gets my tangas in a twist. I know, I know, the barbed wire bicep tat should be a deal-breaker. Still, those piercing blue eyes. The look on his face that says, “I would throw away every good opportunity, and even my freedom, just for a chance to ravage your body.” Wow. Feel my goosebumps.
Perceived Skills – BB gun shooting, jealous rages
Pet Name – Aryan Da’Hendersons
Imagined Dream Date – I have this fantasy where I’m a lifeguard at a local pool in Nevada. Jeremy comes in with his pack of bros. We lock eyes. He does a few long, slow laps. The butterfly stroke — my favorite. We exchange numbers during adult swim. He doesn’t call. Instead, he just shows up at my bedroom window that night. He’s shirtless and out of breath. I let him in the front door, and he collapses into my arms. He’s vulnerable, like a child, in the body of a man. “It’s okay, honey,” I say. “You’re home now.”
Long Term Relationship Potential – High, but I know it would end badly. It always does with the passionate ones.
Panty Dropper Rating – 4 – Worth the Wax.

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This video of Pat Barry in an afro wig is the most incredible thing you will ever see

Pat Barry afro wig funny MMA photos tighty whities undies poop

Guest post by Zeus, MiddleEasy.com

Whenever me and my college buddy Derek get together, we refer to ourselves as the “P.O.P. Squad.” P.O.P stands for “poop our pants.” We gave ourselves this name because both of us, at one point in our young adult lives, accidentally defecated ourselves in public.

For me, it was simply a matter of a taco-truck-hopping excursion gone horribly wrong. This was about seven years ago in Austin. For Derek…well, I’m not going to dishonor him by re-telling the whole thing myself, but the short version is this: Derek was on Spring Break in Cancun, and after a night of ferocious drinking at Carlos ‘n Charlie’s, he woke up on a bench wearing a fecally blown-out pair of khakis, with no money in his wallet and no way to get back to his hotel, which turned out to be 18 miles away. The story of how he eventually did get back to his hotel is an epic, at times heartbreaking tale, that really needs to be turned into a movie someday. (We hear that Fox Searchlight is interested, and James Marsden is already attached as the lead.)

That random anecdote may or may not have to do with this video we found of Pat Barry, which you can watch after the jump. But there’s one thing we can tell you for sure — it is by far the most epic, rawesome, unbelievably incredible video you’ve ever seen in your life. That’s a guarantee. If you don’t think so, you have full permission to slap me in the face the next time you see me.

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