Future UFC Hall of Famer Arianny Celeste is featured on the cover of the December 2012 issue of Maxim, and you can check out her pictorial in the gallery after the jump. Here’s a sample quote from her interview:
On if she’s been naughty or nice this year: “A mixture of both, but more on the naughty side. I like to keep things interesting.”
Pick up the December 2012 issue of Maxim wherever bathroom reading material is sold.
I don’t care if Halloween was yesterday, when I came across this video of Arianny Celeste posing in a graveyard in her skivvies roughly five minutes ago, I felt inclined to immediately share it with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am, Potato Nation. I don’t know what magazine or calendar or necrophilia fetish website this shoot by Sam Honfoto was for, nor do I care to find out. It’s Arianny Celeste standing around in her underwear and getting attacked by zombies. That’s all I care about, and the same should go for all of you.
It’s funny (or perhaps sad), I’ve seen so many photos and videos of Ms. Celeste since joining the CagePotato staff — because I never once checked her out before then *looks nervously around room* – that I have begun to pick up on the go-to poses she has perfected over the years. There’s the panty pull (seen at :57), the classic hand bra, the double hand hair grab, and the very rarely seen behind the back ass shot. That last one is like seeing a unicorn at the exact moment that Halley’s Comet passes by.
And if you thought that video was awesome (or even if you didn’t) you will probably enjoy this much more…thorough (?) behind-the-scenes video of Brittney Palmer’s latest shoot for FHM magazine after the jump. Spoiler alert: It contains more side boob, under boob, and extended shots of dat ass then you’ll probably be able to handle at work today. Adjust your screens accordingly.
(“OK, Ms. Celeste, we want this calendar to reflect both your future and your past, which is why I’m going to need you to kick in the window of that Ferrari for this next shot.”)
Allow me to take you through my thought process whilst attempting to determine a worthy enough post this morning:
OK, Jared, another weekend, another dead hooker in the trunk, but that’s not important, you must focus on an MMA-related topic for the time being…let’s see here, Nick Ring has his next fight booked against Constantinos Philippou at UFC 154, but no one cares about that………dammit, Latisha, you just had to threaten to call Big Ron again, didn’t you?! Focus, focus…uh…Marloes Coenen said Ronda Rousey has “no balls”…I suppose that is true, but not really newsworthy, because bitches be crazy, right Latisha? *attempts high five, receives no response*….think Jared, what would the Potato Nation like to start their Monday off with? *looks over to Latisha once again*…TITS. Of course, it’s so obvious! Time to break out the lime, I mean computer, and get started!
So while it may not be all that significant that a behind-the-scenes video of Arianny Celeste’s 2013 Calendar shoot was recently released online, please trust that this is probably the most captivating bit of news you could come across this morning given the options at hand. So just shut up and enjoy Ms. Celeste rocking no shirt like only she can.
(Nice try, Kelli. The sign out front clearly says “NO HAND BRA.”)
Since it’s been a relatively slow news week, we figured it was time to put together a gallery that’s been on our to-do list for some time — a definitive collection of every notable MMA ring girl who has posed nude. And we don’t mean that “implied nude“ bullshit, or that cutesy rear-view-onlystuff. We mean fully naked, with boobies and everything. Use the “next page” links or the links below to navigate through the gallery, and keep in mind that the NSFW photos will be linked off of those landing pages, to further guard against embarrassing misunderstandings at work.
(We should be surprised that not ONE of those dudes is checking out Arianny’s ass, right?)
I’m going to come right out and say it: I don’t get Dubstep. It’s loud and annoying for the sake of being loud and annoying, and 95% of the songs I have heard seem to aimlessly drift between bass drops and cartoonish, cookie-cutter sound effects blatantly lifted from “artist” to “artist” before coming to a crashing, albeit relieving end. In my opinion, Dubstep is little more than the musical personification of the ever-increasing laziness and style-over-substance attitude of current American society. It is the genre Michael Bay would have created if he wasn’t too busy giving the world cinematic diabetes. So on a musical level, I find pretty much everything that the character known as deadmau5 has created to be utterly incompetent horseshit.
And it appears that his music video for the track “Professional Griefers,” which somehow managed to snag the endorsement of the UFC, falls right in line with that belief.
Not only does the video portray MMA fans as drunken, inbred rednecks, but this Dead Mouse feller even has the balls to replace legendary UFC announcer Bruce Buffer with some roided-up neanderthal behind the mic. But hey, IT’S GOT COMPUTER ANIMATED FIGHTS AND CRASHBOOMRAWR, YOU GUYS!! And Arianny Celeste’s breasts even make an appearance, so it’s all good!
Basically, picture this, except trashier, uglier, far more expensive and, oh yeah, permanent.
There’s an unwritten rule in the tattoo community that you’re never supposed to mock another person’s tattoos. The reasoning behind this thinking is that you never know why a person decided to tattoo something onto his or her body, whether or not a person actually asked the artist to make the tattoo look a certain way (I have intentionally rough-around-the-edges work myself) and the whole “different strokes” thing. For example, while Chris Andersen is my golden standard of what tattoos should look like, some people see Michael Beasley as the tattoo world’s G.O.A.T. Taste is subjective, is what I’m getting at.
Hey guys! Inspired by all the constructive criticism you recently expressed about our photo gallery system, we finally fixed the bug that was preventing the damn thing from being compatible with Chrome. Bottom line: It works again, and Chrome users should test it out in the gallery below, which contains a handful of totally unrelated MMA photos. You may have to clear your cache before the fix takes effect. Thanks for your support, and as always, let us know how we can better serve you.
(Say, that reminds me of a joke: What’s bloodshot, greasy, and smells like cologne?)
According to a new report from MMAJunkie, the Las Vegas District Attorney’s office has decided not to file domestic violence charges against veteran UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste. “After our review of the case, we found that there was insufficient evidence to move forward,” said Tess Driver, executive assistant to Las Vegas district attorney Steve Wolfson.
After being arrested on May 26th following an altercation at the Wynn hotel in Las Vegas — and spending the entire day in jail — Celeste claimed that she was simply defending herself when her boyfriend Praveen Chandra choked her twice; Chandra denied Arianny’s version of the events, and claimed that Celeste kicked him in the nose in a limousine. But then you look at their mugshots and all you see is two tired people who should have left the club at midnight, instead of partying to the point of going “crayyyy ha hey bay bayyy.” With no visible injuries to speak of, it seems the Las Vegas authorities decided to just chalk this one up to drunk people acting stupid, or stupid people getting drunk, or both, whatever.
Requests for comment have not been answered by Chandra. Seriously, we found his e-mail address online a few weeks ago and sent him a note about this whole mess, but nothing. WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED, PRAVEEN.
Say what you want about her ability to pick ‘em, but if there’s one thing longtime UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste knows, it’s how to look good in front of a camera. We don’t mean to be crude, but MYGODLOOKATHER…presence. It’s truly something to behold. Anyway, check out an extended gallery of her talents after the jump, and if you want to see Ms. Celeste’s shoot in its entirety, head over to Egotastic.com. Be sure to follow Arianny on Twitter as well, and tell her that CP sent you. We’re sure she’ll be thrilled.
When we were treated to the long-time ring girl’s mugshot and arrest details shortly thereafter, it appeared as if Ms. Celeste was responsible for starting the fight, and her oddly phrased tweets that came just hours before the incident transpired surely didn’t help her case.
Well, our girl Arianny is not just going to lay back and let the penal system have its way with her…
At long last, here’s Arianny Celeste’s mugshot from her domestic violence booking on Saturday morning. The UFC ring girl was released on $3,000 bail after about 12 hours in custody, got in a power-nap sometime during the day, and still showed up for the UFC 146 main card looking pretty damn presentable. And that’s why she’s had a steady job carrying round cards around the Octagon for over five years — other professional hot chicks simply cannot hang at that level.
UPDATE:The Las Vegas Sun has details of the incident that led to Celeste’s arrest. Read on after the jump. You will not be disappointed…
(“Okay, maybe she didn’t actually hit me, but she was clearly trying to hurt my feelings.”)
Sorry for being late to the party on this one, but as you might have heard by now, UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste — real name Annie Schwartz-Wasserstein* — was arrested early Saturday morning and charged with “battery (domestic violence).” She was taken into custody by the Clarke County Police Department at 7:30 a.m., and later released on $3,000 bond before showing up halfway through the UFC 146 main card.
Your first assumption will probably be, “Whoa, she beat up Tiki?” But until more details surface, we can only speculate. (I mean, theoretically, she could have also choked a live-in personal assistant, right?) MMAJunkie passes along Arianny’s last few tweets before her arrest, which suggest she was on a collision course with disaster/hilarity:
Near midnight, she posted a photo of her herself in evening attire sitting at a table, with a caption that read: “Dinner at Mizumi,” referring to a new restaurant at the Wynn Las Vegas. A few hours later, she tweeted another photo of herself with a male companion who was kissing the side of her face, with a caption: “??! forever n always??” An additional tweet came around 3:30 a.m. with her making a crazy look and the caption: “I be going crayyyy ha hey bay bayyy.”
Arianny Celeste has been doing her part to keep the international men’s magazine industry alive, posing for an absurdly hot pictorial in this month’s edition of FHM Philippines. Check out the veteran UFC ring girl‘s latest photo-highlights in the gallery below, and let us know what you think…
(That look in Chuck’s eyes — we know it well. / Full gallery is after the jump.)
Since our 25 Most Awkward Photos in MMA History gallery was such a big success, and because we could all use some stupid fun on a Friday afternoon, we decided to put together a GIF-based sequel. Enjoy the uncomfortable hilarity, and if we left out any of your favorites, please post some links in the comments section. Have a great weekend, Potato Nation!
Besides Roger Huerta and Tito on TMZ, we haven’t really had any MMA luminaries who have gotten much attention from the tabloids. Not sure that’s a bad thing, but it’s likely to change as the sport grows and gets more mainstream.
(The staph infection threat-level has been raised to orange.)
Brazilian entertainment outlet EGO just published a massive shoot with UFC ring girls Arianny Celeste and Chandella Powell for their “Paparazzo” section — which is especially hot if you’re into hand-wraps and heavy bags. Check out some highlights in the gallery after the jump, and go here to see the rest.
We only had one and that was Chandella [Powell]. The other was the IQ card girl. Arianny [Celeste] kind of walks around and holds up her latest test score. One time when there was a title fight, she got all the way up to five and we were very proud of her.
Holy King of all that is zing.
And believe it or not, when Arianny got wind of these comments, she was less than pleased. But our girl managed to respond in the most adult, professional manner possible, a tweet, which read:
Hey what’s ur name.. after @spideranderson kicks your ass..u won’t even be able to count to 5!! Get ready to kiss brazils ass!
Not bad Arianny, not bad. She’s clearly referencing the 1954 Marlon Brando classic On the Waterfrontwith the whole “counting” rebuttal. It’s honestly a better comeback than most of us would have expected from someone who usually responds to awkward situations like this. But prepare yourselves for Sonnen’s comeback:
After days of anticipation, Ask the Potato is finally back and as credible as ever. The deepest thinkers among us have emerged with a series of questions- some of which even came in the form of complete sentences, with question marks and everything. The rest of you? Well, you at least tried to have a coherent thought, right? And even though the thought doesn’t count, you’re still special to us. So, without further delay, the triumphant return of Ask the Potato awaits after the jump.
As expected, one little picture of Arianny Celestekissing a genital/fruit statue really seemed to fire your imaginations. And yet, there were zero Mark Coleman references. Hmm. We’ve decided to award CagePotato t-shirts to the three best captions this photo produced. But first, some honorable mentions:
gpop727: I’m sure her father is so proud of his daughter and her healthy food choices
RWilsonR: This picture goes against all stereotypes I’ve heard about yellow penises.
OneMorePunchFujita: Brock Lesnar’s original tattoo choice.
Bob Reilly: That’s Lexington Peele right there.
Bob Reilly (again): Orange you glad she didn’t fuck banana?
And here we have UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste on a beach in Saint-Tropez, giving a peck to the kind of surrealist phallic symbol that passes for public art in France. AVERT YOUR EYES, CHILDREN! There’s so much wrong with this picture — which is why it’s so perfect for a caption contest on a slow news day. Do your worst in the comments section; we’ll pick out some winners later this week and award some CagePotato t-shirts. Good luck…
All month, it’s been taunting me — watching the fan count on our Facebook page creep slowly, steadily toward 10,000. At the time of this writing, we’re sitting at 9,977 fans, just a stone’s throw away from the Promised Land. Well I’m not going to let this affect my sleep any longer. We’re passing 10,000 fans today, damn it, with or without you bastards.
If you’re reading this now and you have a Facebook account, but aren’t a follower of facebook.com/CagePotato for some reason, please head there and “Like” our page. It’ll keep you up-to-date with all the top stories on CagePotato, and provide you with bonus content that we didn’t have room for on the site.
Plus, it’ll give you another outlet to share feedback, post your own links and photos, and complain about our captcha system — all at no cost to you. So please, do us a favor, just this once. Thank you.
One of our favorite online obsessions over the last month has been awesome people hanging out together, a tumblr photo blog devoted to celebrities mingling in unexpected combinations. (I mean, seriously: Dylan and Ali?Alice Cooper and Colonel Sanders? Epic.) Since there are aren’t any MMA fighters represented on the site, we decided to do some online crate-digging of our own and put together a CagePotato version of the “awesome people” photo-phenomenon. Enjoy these rare and classic MMA photos, which continue after the jump, and shoot us some links in the comments section if we’ve left out any of your favorites.