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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Ariel Helwani

[VIDEO] Jason Miller’s Anti-Semitic, Mentally Handicapped Doppelganger Throws Tantrum, Storms Off ‘The MMA Hour’


(Trust us, when this moment arrives you will be doing anything but laughing.) 

When Jason “Mayhem” Miller was fired from the UFC, he was basically left with two career paths to follow. He could follow the path of guys like Joey Beltran or — to a lesser degree — Anthony Johnson, which is to say, recognizing his mistakes/flaws and trying to earn his way back into the promotion through hard work, a couple decent wins, and in his case, probably some begging. Or, he could take a page out of someone like Rampage Jackson’s book, which consists of complaining a lot, going on nonsensical Twitter rants, and acting like a delusional pyschopath at every possible turn.

It saddens us to inform you that Miller has apparently chosen the path of Charlie Sheen.

There are simply no words that aptly describe Miller’s recent appearance on The MMA Hour, but I’ll try to use a few: batshit, kerfuffle, delirium, wantwit, rudesby. Like sharting in a hot tub while on a blind date.

In a terribly misguided attempt to plug his upcoming film, Here Comes the Boom, Miller appeared on the radio show as his character from the movie, Lucky Patrick. But what began as a simple ruse quickly devolved into one of the most bizarre and outright sad things we have witnessed in the continually depressing downfall of “Mayhem” Miller. He referred to “Arius Heelwani” as a “Jew,” refused to break character or answer questions as to his current mental state (or perhaps answered them all, really), and vehemently stormed off the set 45 minutes short of its expected run time. As Helwani noted, Miller was clearly attempting to channel Andy Kaufman, but unfortunately came off looking a lot more like Crispin Glover.

Video after the jump. 

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Jon Jones Just Wants Dana White to Know That He Forgives Him


(Video via MMAFighting.com)

Considering all the shit he’s taken over the past couple weeks from UFC fans and his boss since the cancelation of UFC 151, it’s actually good to see that light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones is relaxed and in good-spirits during this interview yesterday with Ariel Helwani. Jones has put the ugly recent past behind him, and when he finally gets the chance to have a one-on-one conversation with Dana White — because he hasn’t yet, if you can believe it — he plans to look DW dead in his beet-red face and forgive him. Here’s the transcription via FightOpinion:

JON JONES: “I’m going to say, Dana… you know, I’m just going to tell him that I forgive him, pretty much. I have a general intention of what I want to happen and basically it’s going to based on forgiveness. I’m not expecting him to apologize but I’m moving forward, you know, I’m moving forward and Dana… spoke his mind and, you know, ultimately he can’t take back what happened, I can’t take back what happened. I don’t think he wants to and I don’t want to, so, we’re just going to be men and keep this great journey that we have going. You know, we’re both ambassadors for the UFC and as for not being on the same page, as I said (Tuesday) on Sportscenter it makes no sense for us MMA fans, MMA nation so, uh, you know, I want to do great things and I think having them on my side or working with them and not being known as like, you know, a troublemaker with him will be beneficial for both of us.

ARIEL HELWANI: “How do you forgive someone who hasn’t apologized?”

JON JONES: “You know, I don’t know. I don’t know how that works but I want to try it.”

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Junior Dos Santos vs. Cain Velasquez II Officially Booked for December 29th


(Unfortunately, Ishanguly Meretnyyazov was the referee for this bout, and Velasquez ended up winning 13-11 on points.) 

Sorry, Alistair, it looks like you’ll just have to wait your turn.

In an interview with MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani that followed the UFC 150 post-fight press conference, Dana White was asked to answer a series of questions with simple “yes” or “no” answers. And although it seemed implausible that The Baldfather could ever go more than thirty seconds without uttering a certain curse word, he kindly obliged Helwani and spilled the beans in regards to several big questions currently circulating in the MMA world. Simply put, bullshit was cut through in record time.

And among the questions present in the back of Ariel’s (and everyone’s) mind was that of heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos and who would be the next man to get viciously mauled to death  bravely sacrifice himself for the good of The Colony ”challenge” him for the title. To put it in the words of DW: Overeem – No, Velasquez – Yes. Although an event has yet to be named, White said in a seperate interview that the pair would likely collide on the annually stacked New Year’s Eve card, also known as the card that Overeem will totally be fighting on.

After the jump: A full video interview, which details everything from the future of the BJ Penn/Rory MacDonald match to the specifics of Jon Jones’ Nike deal, and more.

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Anderson Silva Manager Jorge Guimaraes Officially Turns Down Fight Against Chris Weidman


They see me trollinnnnnn’. They hatinnnnnn’. Props: Sherdog.

Those of you who have been clinging to the notion that Anderson Silva’s manager Jorge Guimaraes would change his mind about Chris Weidman being an “amateur kid” can officially let that ship sail. Ariel Helwani caught up with Guimaraes yesterday, and even though he clarified that the “amateur kids” comment was a translation error, he still does not see any value in an Anderson Silva vs. Chris Weidman fight for the time being. Via MMAFighting:

When specifically asked about the “amateur kids” comment:

JGWell, there was a little lack of communication. I spoke to Tatame Magazine in Brazil and it got lost in translation. I have a lot of respect for Weidman. He’s a great fighter, but what I meant is that the fight doesn’t make sense. He has nine fights – impressive fights – but it’s half of the number of fights that Anderson has in the UFC. I think he’s just a little not ripe enough, but it’s up to the organization to tell [us] who is a good opponent for Anderson.

Check after the jump for the full quote and interview

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Simply Put, It Sucked: Assembling the Best Tweets Regarding the Crappiness of UFC 149


(Well said.)

Twitter holds an interesting place in the MMA landscape. On one hand, it often comes across as little more than a medium for fighters to vent their frustrations with the foresight and competency of a middle school dropout, or to aid in the ongoing series of endless, needless arguments that constitute 90% of the internet nowadays. Seriously, I was on one of those porn sites that allow comments the other day and stumbled across a heated argument concerning what the woman fellating the donkey onscreen was probably thinking. My guess was that she was reconsidering her choice to forgo those online courses for some quick cash and a shot at Fame (which coincidentally was the horse’s name), but the two (probable) gentlemen involved in said dispute seemed to think she was trying to determine the ethnicity of said horse (if that’s a thing), and which race she likely decided upon. Did I mention she was blindfolded? She was blindfolded.

On the other hand, “The Twitter” has shown on several occasions that it can serve as more than a battleground for our petty arguments, and can actually be used as a tool to unite people from opposite ends of the planet over a given cause. Although it failed in the end, Twitter was almost solely responsible for giving Mark Hunt the opportunity of a lifetime, or bringing Tim Sylvia back to the UFC to dominate 85% of the promotion’s heavyweights like we all know he would (I mean, have you even seen his workout regimen?).

And one thing that the collective minds of Twitter seemed to reach an agreement on was that UFC 149, to put it professionally, sucked major donkey dick (see how I brought that all together? I’m less a writer, more a prophet). So in order to bid what will ultimately go down as one of the most disappointing main cards in UFC history adieu, we’ve collected some of the funniest tweets from around the Twittersphere, some from actual fighters, others from random jagoffs with the simple ability to hashtag UFC 149 after their comment, for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

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UFC 149 Injury Update: Urijah Faber Fought Through a Broken Rib, Cheick Kongo Had Two Jacked-Up Shoulders

In one final outburst of senseless violence, the UFC 149 Injury Curse claimed multiple victims on fight night, before receding back to the haunted ground that spawned it. We already mentioned that Tim Boetsch broke his foot during the second round of his fight against Hector Lombard, and yesterday Urijah Faber confirmed that he broke a rib during his main event meeting with Renan Barao. The California Kid tweeted out the x-ray above, writing “Congrats 2 @RenanBaraoUFC. He’s a tough dude. Broke my rib in the 1st with a great knee. Thank u 4 all the support.”

So if you were wondering why Boetsch wasn’t quite as active as you expected him to be on Saturday, or why Faber consistently looked a half-step behind his Brazilian opponent, blame the broken bones. And if you were wondering why Cheick Kongo‘s bout with Shawn Jordan turned out to be a hopelessly dull clinching-competition, there’s a similar explanation for that too…

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Michael Bisping Makes His Case for an Anderson Silva Fight, Threatens Brian Stann With an Ass-Kicking [VIDEO]


(Props: fueltv)

After spending the night screaming himself hoarse, an “amped-up” (read: sweaty and half-drunk) Michael Bisping spent a few minutes with Ariel Helwani lobbying for a fight against Anderson Silva, on the grounds that he’d do a lot better against Silva than Chael Sonnen did on Saturday night. Why? Because he can wrestle and strike. And that’s pretty much it. The secret to beating Anderson Silva is basic well-roundedness, I guess. But Bisping’s greater motivation is simply to see how he’d stack up against the best in the world. Here’s how the Count broke down Silva vs. Sonnen 2, and his hopes for a future meeting with the Spider:

Chael is an amazing wrestler, you know, he went to the Olympics I think. Not everybody can do that. I’m not that level of wrestler. I can wrestle a little bit, but I’m not like Chael Sonnen. But, I can kickbox a damn sight better than Chael Sonnen can. I won’t get knocked out in the second round like Chael Sonnen did. That’s a fact. [Silva] got wrestled to death in the first round, it was a massively dominant round for Chael Sonnen in the first round. But [Silva] does it every time, he proves why he’s the best. It doesn’t matter what happens in round one. It’s how the fight ends. And Anderson Silva, he pulled it off again. You’re a fool to bet against Anderson. He’s amazing.

And for me, personally, I want to fight the guy because I want to see how I can do against him. I’ve beat a lot of guys, but I want to fight that guy. I think I can do better. And I’m never going to know that until I get in there with him. Yes, I want to fight him. Yes, I want to get paid for a title shot. I want the main event, I want all that. But for me, personally, for my mind and soul, I want to fight the guy to know how I would do. Because I think I can do better than Chael Sonnen did. In fact, I know I can do better than what Chael Sonnen did.”

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Don’t Worry, Steven Seagal Has Some Last-Second UFC 148 Trolling


(Props: FilmDrunk)

I know what you’ve all been thinking this week. You’ve been thinking “This whole pissed off and angry Anderson Silva is a frightening change of pace, and the press conference was fun I guess, but damn it, I need to know how Steven Seagal will take credit for all of this!” Well don’t worry, person who doesn’t exist – you won’t have to wait until after the fight to find that out.

Ariel Helwani caught up with Cockpuncher to discuss Anderson Silva’s upcoming rematch with Chael Sonnen. After appearing reluctant to give the mere mortal an interview, Seagal explained how Silva’s intense new attitude is entirely his doing. And those concerns you may be having over The Spider’s emotions affecting his performance? Don’t worry, Seagal has an answer for that, too.

Videos (Yes, multiple) after the jump.

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Quotes of the Day: Roy Nelson Has Some Choice Words for Brock Lesnar


(Look, Roy, we’re all big Harry Potter fans, but this Rubeus Hagrid obsession of yours is going a little far.) 

Like that of current light heavyweight champ Jon Jones, former UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar seems to be the subject of much debate amongst the MMA community. Not only was his heart called into question following his UFC 141 loss to Alistair Overeem, but in light of recent events, even the legitimacy of his title reign has seemingly been written off by some fans of the sport and wiped from the collective memories of others. Meanwhile, the hardcore conspiracy theorists claim that Lesnar’s run was nothing more than a genius ploy by Vince McMahon to boost Lesnar’s popularity before looping him back into the WWE. He’s a polarizing figure to say the least.

And when questions began to arise about the possibility of Lesnar becoming a future inductee into the UFC Hall of Fame, some of us nearly blew a fucking gasket. Among those detractors was that of Roy “Big Country” Nelson, who is scheduled to face Dave Herman on tomorrow night’s main card. A professional fighter for over seven years, Nelson was none too happy to hear all of this blasphemy, and when interviewed by Ariel Helwani, let his feelings be known about Lesnar’s chances:

You know what? If Brock belongs in the hall of fame, so do I. It’s not that hard to win the title when it’s set up that way for you. Pretty much [a silver platter]. After Dave Herman, I guess I get a title shot. Interim! Because someone’s gonna get hurt.

It’s pretty hard to deny the truth in Nelson’s words. Yes, Lesnar did win a title (and defend it), and all Nelson has done lately is get his face smashed in spectacular/gruesome fashion, but the fact that Lesnar got a shot after going 1-1 is pretty…you know what, we’ve already discussed this. I’m not going to retread any old ground.

Anyway, join us after the jump for Nelson’s full interview with Helwani, in which he also discusses his diet (of course), returning to his Kung-Fu roots, as well as his (and every fighters) gripes with his pay rate.

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[VIDEOS] Frank Mir Talks Nick Diaz, Junior dos Santos Talks Wladimir Klitschko

MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani recently took some time away from interviewing mentally handicapped freakshows to get back to his roots as MMA’s top correspondent, questioning UFC 146′s headliners, Frank Mir and Junior dos Santos, on everything from Nick Diaz’s recent suspension to whether or not Daniel Cormier should be the man to face the winner of their Saturday night title fight.

When asked his opinion on the NSAC’s aforementioned ruling in the case of Mr. Diaz, Mir seemed to side with the “what kind of bullshit is this?” crowd, stating that “…obviously just having metabolites in his system means that he was not under the influence of marijuana in contest the night they tested him, but I guess that’s why they wear suits and I wear no shirt when I go to work.” I hear you there, bro. Mir also discussed his plans for dos Santos, mainly, that he will pull guard on the champ if need be, because shooting on “Cigano” will likely not be a viable option.

Join us after the jump for Helwani’s interview with dos Santos, who makes some pretty ballsy claims to say the least. 

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