Steroids in MMA
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Tag: asshole

Oblivious Bob Reilly Retains NY Assembly Seat and Will Try to Cock-Block MMA for at Least Two More Years

(At least we can take comfort in the fact that Vader will eventually throw him overboard off the Death Star.)

It looks like MMA legalization in New York is still going to require a fight to make it a reality. Asshole Democrat Bob Reilly retained his New York State Assembly seat last night by defeating Republican opponent Jennifer Whalen 53.56% to 46.39%.

As you can hear in the interview we conducted with the vehement MMA opposer yesterday, he hasn’t got a fucking clue about MMA or even reality for that matter, so getting him to soften his stance on sanctioning will likely be an uphill battle.

Somebody needs to get ahold of some photos of Bob screwing a goat so we can expedite his resignation.


Jay Larkin: What an Asshole

(Quit it, you homos!)

IFL CEO Jay Larkin is no stranger to making crybaby speeches when things aren’t going so well. But with the IFL canceling events until further notice, and with its publicly traded stock currently hovering at two fucking pennies (down from $17 per share in January 2007), it’s not going to get much worse than this, business-wise. Larkin knows it, which gives him the freedom to say whatever pops into his head, no matter how gross it makes him look.

Business magazine Portfolio just published a profile on IFL’s current tailspin, in which it revealed that the company is now on the auction block for a cool million. Here’s the third paragraph, which follows a description of a recent IFL fight, written in wildly purple prose:

Jay Larkin surveys the inaction with a weary, seen-it-all expression. “This isn’t my idea of fighting,” he says of the world’s fastest-growing spectator sport. “To me, two guys rolling around on the floor is tedious, like watching gay foreplay.”

Wow. And this guy runs an MMA league? He sounds like your average message-board troll. Later, presumably after a few more whisky-sodas, Larkin drops another gem:


‘What Would Kimbo Do?’ — Episode 3!

He’s dumped roommates in garbage cans and flame-broiled cockblockers. But in this episode, Kimbo Slice deals with an office lunch-stealer through the power of conversation. (Spoiler alert: Just kidding!)


Christ, What an Asshole

(UFC Girls via MMA Fever)