(What is it with these guys and the creepy group photos?) 

If you are at all familiar with how Wordpress (the program that powers this site) works, then you know that there is a seemingly limitless number of categories and options to select when drafting up a given post. One of them, titled “Post Type”, provides several pre-selected categories for us to choose from when determining the content and article type of said post. However, when I attempted to select “Injury” for the umpteenth time this morning, Wordpress would simply not allow it. “I’m sorry, Jared, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” it uttered (yes, our Wordpress is self-aware). And before I knew it, my computer sprouted legs, shoved me aside, and walked out of my life forever.

What I’m getting at is, the injury curse of summer 2012 has gotten so frustrating that it is even beginning to affect the non-emotive machines, forcing me to relocate from my two bedroom brownstone to the dismal public library at which I now reside. The floor smells like piss here, and I’m pretty sure a homeless man is masturbating at a computer not ten feet away from me. Either that, or he is a big UFC fan who also just learned that Josh Koscheck has been forced to withdraw from his UFC 151 co-main event matchup with “Jake Ingleburger”, and is taking his disappointment out on his junk. In either case, this is getting hard to watch.

(Say it ain’t so, KenFlo.) 

Bad news out of the Boston Herald today, as it is being reported that UFC middleweight lightweight featherweight lightweight contender Kenny “KenFlo” Florian has suffered a lumbar herniated disk in his lower back as a result of an existing weight lifting injury he sustained in November. The injury is apparently so serious that KenFlo’s orthopedist and neurologist have agreed that he should consider retiring from the sport after nearly ten years in the game. Florian was less than positive about his outlook, but believes that every cloud has a silver lining:

[Retirement is] possible, unfortunately. I’ve kind of been going back-and-forth with some of the doctors, so it’s possible. I’m going to see. As of right now, obviously I can’t compete and train like I was at all. I’m just kind of doing what I can and hoping that things heal up and get better. I’m just kind of in a holding pattern. That’s why I decided to do this commentary for the time being and take this next six months to really heal up and try to make some money on the side. It sucks. The last couple of months I’ve just been figuring out what’s going on and what I’m going to do.

It’s not good. That’s why I’m trying to stay hopeful. We’ll see. I’ve been out here in (Los Angeles) doing this show every week for ‘UFC Tonight’ for Fuel TV and doing some other things. I’m just hoping that it can heal up and get better and then see if I can go back to doing what I was doing. So far, I still need to rest. If I go to do something physical, I’m just not able to do it. That pain is coming back.

(Now seems like as good a time as any to start talking. PicProps: Squabbles.com)

Though his agent said doctors didn’t know the full extent of Shane Carwin’s injuries until after he went under the knife in Colorado this week, the surgery to repair “neck, back and nerve problems” on the UFC heavyweight contender was reportedly successful. The big guy will be able to get back to contact training in 8-12 weeks and is hoping to return to action in the Octagon sometime during the Spring of 2011, according to an MMAFighting.com story out on Thursday.

"It went as good as it could have, but it was worse than we thought it was, if that makes sense …,” said Carwin agent Jason Genet. “The doctor said he was surprised Shane could compete with the damage as it was, but with the surgery, there’s no reason he won’t be able to fight and possibly even perform at a higher level. Once Shane gets back into the motions, we think it’ll be relatively quick for him to get into fighting shape. He’s not a guy who has a lot of ring rust."

Let us say without a hint of sarcasm or snark that this is great news. After Carwin had to pull out of his UFC 125 fight with Roy Nelson many of us media types were worried how extensive surgery might affect the 35-year-old, 265-plus pounder. It’s good to hear such a positive prognosis. Now, let’s address the issue everyone has been thinking about whenever we read anything about Carwin during the last few months: When can we expect the statement he promised us on that whole steroid thing?

(It took some time, but the Sao Paulo Big Brothers, Big Sisters program finally found Thiago a perfect match. PicProps: TattooBlues)

Much respect to Tatame.com, which is pretty much a constant torrent of breaking news regarding MMA’s Boys From Brazil and even publishes an English language version for those of us too boorish and unrefined to speak the country’s mother tongue. We can’t all be multilingual giants like Chael Sonnen, now can we? Is some of the website’s English prose more or less unintelligible? Sure, but God knows if American bloggers had to keep up Portuguese versions of their sites, most of the results wouldn’t be pretty, either. In fact, what Tatame lacks in clarity it often makes up for with a wonderful unexpectedness of language. Kind of like reading an Aleksandar Hemon short story, only better because it’s about fighting. 

Take for example the site’s latest report on oft injured light heavyweight Thaigo Silva, which begins with a title befitting a Top 40 Country & Western hit and ends with a final paragraph that reads like some kind of weird, impressionist poetry. The facts are this: Silva’s back has been in upheaval since late 2008 and the 28-year-old has had no choice but give it some R&R afer pulling out of a scheduled fight at UFC 117. Now, if things go according to plan, Silva hopes to return before the end of the year.