(Coaching gaffes aside, the green jersey really brings out his eyes. Pic: TheMMANews)

At least one thing was abundantly clear Wednesday night about the debut episode of “The Ultimate Fighter,” season 13: Brock Lesnar has obviously never seen this show before. Forget for a minute all the silly squabbling over the former heavyweight champ’s credentials as a coach and whether or not his inclusion on the UFC’s popular reality show will be good for ratings and/or the sport. The real question this morning is whether or not Lesnar even owns a television, because the dude played the “TUF 13” season premiere like a straight-up rookie. Things snowballed so quickly and decisively in the favor of Team Dos Santos, that by the end of the first 60 minutes we had to wonder if this season will be another one-sided ass-kicking on the order of those handed out by Team GSP on “TUF 12” and Team Rashad on “TUF 10.”

We don’t want to totally bury Team Lesnar this early on because – let’s face it – a lot can happen between now and the end of the season, especially since producers appear to have done an uncharacteristically good job making the actual cast of “TUF 13” look evenly matched. There are only two dudes on board we’ve ever heard of before – Shamar Bailey and Ryan McGillivray, both snapped up quick-fast by Team JDS – so maybe Brock’s picks will surprise us. Still, we couldn’t help but notice that Lesnar didn’t exactly pin episode one to the mat and give it a Heath Herring-style beatdown. Here are the multiple ways Coach Brock screwed things up …

On last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, Matt Hughes put his team through a brutal workout to punish them for Dan Barrera’s loss, resulting in a rib injury for Jared “J-Rock” Rollins, who Team Hughes had picked to fight George Sotiropoulos. In other words, Hughes is still a freakin’ moron. Jared was cleared to compete, but looked very tentative against George, threw some of the the laziest kicks in series history, didn’t try to take the fight to the ground, and was subsequently KTFO in the first round. 6-1, Team Serra. Also in the episode, the members of Hughes’s team became fully aware of how awful their coach is, and George’s teammates got angry with him for never waking them up in the morning. By default, the last preliminary fight will be Tommy Speer vs. Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver.

And now, the episode’s best quotes:

Matt Hughes: “Boy, do I want to unleash my fury on you.”

Dan Barrera: “I believe I got that Spartan heart. God gave me a Spartan spirit, and I’m just gonna keep on truckin’.”

Dana White’s coaching advice to Matt Hughes: “Fuckin’ just bitch-slap these motherfuckers, man. Let ‘em know what’s up. Don’t let them fuck your week up. Bust ‘em now. You know what the answer is. Beat the living shit out of them. Fuckin’ get ‘em.”

Matt Serra, on racial sensitivity: “[Jared]‘s like, ‘Am ah doin’ it right, Mistah Hughes?’ One of those guys. He’s Hughes’s boy.”