minimalist movie posters
21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

Tag: bad ideas

Jose Aldo’s Coach Suggests Meaningless Non-Title Catchweight Fight Against Anthony Pettis


(“Tell you what…if Pettis wins, we can give him that Bellator belt as a souvenir.” Photo via UpperBrazil.com)

For UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo, the prospect of a super-fight against lightweight champion Anthony Pettis sounds like a pretty damn good idea — except for that part where Aldo would have to give up his belt to take the fight. That part kind of sucks. And so, Aldo’s coach and manager Andre Pederneiras has suggested a solution: A 150-pound catchweight fight where nobody’s title is on the line. Essentially, a meaningless exhibition. Wouldn’t that be fun?

(A catchweight) would be interesting for both,” Pederneiras told Ta na Area. “They would keep the belts and do the fight everybody wants to see. Nobody wants to take the other’s title, we want to see the fight and do a great show for everybody. Aldo would move up a little, Pettis cuts a little, and it’s good for everybody.”

“Nobody wants to take the other’s title?” What kind of pussified patty-cake bullshit is this? Why wouldn’t Aldo want to become the third two-division champion in UFC history? Why fight Anthony Pettis at all, if a title wasn’t on the line? And how on Earth is this “good for everybody” if it requires Pettis to cut extra weight for a non-title fight?

Clearly, the Aldo camp has gotten cold feet about vacating the featherweight title to pursue a matchup they might not win. And as you can imagine, nobody’s jumping out of their seats to take Pederneiras up on his offer:

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Bellator Announces Rampage Jackson vs. Tito Ortiz for November 2nd PPV Event [OH GOD, NO]

I haven’t watched this evening’s Bellator event yet, so PLEASE NO SPOILERS, but some big, big, terrible news was announced during the broadcast (and via press release). Okay, deep breath. I’m just going to go ahead and say it.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Tito “The Bathroom Mirror-Shot Assassin” Ortiz have been booked to face-off in the main event of Bellator’s first-ever pay-per-view card, which will be held Saturday, November 2nd, at the Long Beach Arena. Some obvious questions come to mind:

- First off, is anybody actually going to pay for this? Bellator hasn’t announced the price they’re seeking for this PPV, but anything over $9.95 is pushing the limits of reality. Bellator’s main selling point has always been the fact that it’s free. Take that away, and you’ve got…well…two broken-down ex-champs who we haven’t cared about since a white man was president. I mean, let’s be real: If this fight was announced in the UFC, you’d roll your eyes. I’m not sure what kind of reaction Bellator was expecting here, but the one they deserve is this one.

- What happens when a cable TV company creates a weird co-promotional relationship between an MMA promotion and a pro-wrestling outfit, and books two longtime friends (one of whom is actually transitioning into pro-wrestling) to “compete” in an “MMA fight”? It all feels a little too cozy. I’m just saying, if I ran a sportsbook, I’d think twice about accepting bets for this one.

- It’s nice to see Bellator following TNA wrestling’s business model of booking has-been talent to fight each other at least six years after anyone gives a shit. Okay, that’s not really a question, so much as a comment that Seth Falvo made to the CagePotato staff over email, but I thought it was worth sharing.

- Does Bjorn Rebney have any say in this company anymore?

- What other throwback fights will be on the undercard? Frank Shamrock vs. Ken Shamrock? Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior vs. The Iron Sheik (steel cage match)? Zimmer vs. Martinez 2?

After the jump: Some depressing quotes from the press release, and the first official poster…

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MMA Movie Alert: Think ‘The Karate Kid’, But With an Autistic Cage-Fighter


(Props: nacejfa via CagePotato reader Ed S.)

Here we have the trailer for The Great Fight, which is about an autistic savant (and state-capital buff) who discovers he has inborn MMA skills. When he whups up on some school bullies, their sensai (yeah) makes it a personal mission to smash him and his coach. It’s like The Karate Kid meets Rain Man meets somebody’s half-assed student film project.

Look, I want to take this movie seriously. Robert Loggia‘s in it, for God’s sake. But then you show me the John Kreese-knockoff villain* who looks like he just came from a gig with his Village People tribute act — acting as his own representation in the courtroom scene! — and Loggia growling in the kid’s face, and the audience of seat-fillers during the climactic fight (1:59-2:00), who are clearly bored off their asses. Warrior, it ain’t.

* According to IMDb, Martin Kove, the actor who played John Kreese, is actually in this movie. And so is Joyce DeWitt, best known as Janet from Three’s Company. Let that be a warning to all you young, aspiring actors. It can all go away so fast, and this is the kind of shit you’ll need to do to pay the bills.

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Behold, the Astonishing Awfulness of Arianny Celeste’s ‘Debut Single’


(Vid: YouTube/DEMusicGroup)

Alright, we take back all those jokes we made about people who think the world will end in 2012. The apocalypse is clearly upon us, as it has just come to our attention that Arianny Celeste apparently fancies herself some kind of singer now. Just let that news sink in for a moment before reading on … We knew she dabbled, but surely these new apparently professional aspirations can only mean the end of western civilization as we know it, right? I mean there are bad ideas, and then there is the fucking Titanic. There is the Hindenburg. There is leading your army into Russia in the dead of winter. Allowing this attractive, halfway famous girl who has no doubt always considered herself pretty good at karaoke to think she can try her hand at making actual “music” ranks right up there with the worst of them.

Nonetheless, there’s our beloved AC starring in the above video, introducing a “sneak peek” of her “debut single” titled “Fight to Love Me” (Get it? Because she’s a UFC Octagon girl …) which she promises will be out soon with the help of something called the DE Music Group. At first, we thought it must be a joke. The lyrics here are (naturally) cartoonishly bad, the “beat” sounds like somebody made it on a hacked version of some Russian production software from the 80s and if you don’t squint a little bit and lean away from the computer every time she tries to hit a high note, well, you don’t have your speakers turned up loud enough.

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