stanley kubrick movie tattoos
20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

Tag: balls

Dennis Siver Tests Positive for Testicle-Preserving Banned Substance


(Dennis Siver celebrates healthy testicles. / Photo via Getty)

Dennis Siver has failed his UFC 168 drug test. The Russian-German fighter tested positive for human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). For those not in the know, the drug is typically used post-steroid cycle. Its purpose is to restore the size of the testicles and kickstart testosterone production.

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Fight of the Day: Daisuke Nakamura vs. The Man Who Will Not be Submitted


(Props: The TrainWreck)

If you thought Benson Henderson’s performance against Donald Cerrone was the craziest display of submission defense/pain tolerance in recent MMA history, you need to watch the above video, which shows the second and final round of Bogdan Cristea‘s decision loss to Daisuke Nakamura at M-1 Challenge 5 (7/17/08). Nakamura, God bless him, does everything he can to finish this fight. He bends Cristea’s leg in a kneebar, then transitions to an equally nasty-looking heel-hook. He tries one armbar, then another, then a kimura. Cristea shakes them off, and when the fight goes back to the feet, he actually puts Nakamura in trouble with strikes.

At the 3:31 mark, Nakamura tries a flying armbar to get the fight back to the ground. Cristea escapes (obviously), so Nakamura transitions into a straight armbar that would have finished any other opponent. Cristea shakes his finger "no." As the fight ends, we learn that Cristea was previously hit by a car and left for dead, and nearly had his arm amputated. And if he didn’t let a car rip off his arm, he certainly isn’t going to let some little punk in a black Speedo do it. Bogdan Cristea’s enormous balls: We salute you.

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Just How Broken Are Cro Cop’s Nuts?

Mirko Cro Cop Filipovic Dream MMA
(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Answer: Quite broken. Like, so broken that he might not be recovered in time to rematch Alistair Overeem on New Year’s Eve. First, there’s this interview with Filipovic (from dnevnik.hr, translated by Robert at betwwx.com) where he recounts the fight-stopping injury at DREAM.6 and stresses that he absolutely wasn’t faking to get out of the match:

“The third strike to my balls was very strong…I know some people were saying that I was saved by the fact the match was ended. There was blood, but those cuts were nothing…I wasn’t hurt until I got hit in the nuts. The third strike into the nuts was very powerful and the biggest problem was that the cup squashed my nuts…I need to go to the hospital for some check ups. I still have some problems, I pissed blood, but thats all part of the job.”

MMA Convert (via Fightlinker) passes along more details about those check-ups, and things aren’t sounding too pleasant:

Mirko will have to undergo a testicle exam which got injured in the Overeem fight. Mirko’s genitals still hurt a lot says Dr. Zeljko Kapulica.

“Mirko’s left testicle is still hurting and I have to examine it to determine whether it’s stable in the scrotum; complications might occur if the testicle rotates and clogs the blood vessels. Also I need to check if the inguinal canal in which his tescticle was pushed in is open because it could lead to a hernia.”

Gross. At this point, Cro Cop’s life is imitating Ow! My Balls! Between this and the Cheick Kongo fight at UFC 75, his nards are like supermagnets for knees. Nobody wants to go out on such a low point, but could this be a sign that you maybe need to reconsider the way you make a living?

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Quick Toughness Test…

JDT

Click this link and listen to the song. If you can make it through the whole thing, you have ice-water in your balls.

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