(I know, right? Whaddya gonna do.)

Just an update on that business about Matt Hughes shoving some dude into a woman’s nose at an Illinois bar last month. According to a TMZ report published yesterday, Hughes will not be charged with a crime related to the incident:

TMZ spoke with the Illinois State’s Attorney … who told us there was not enough evidence to prove the fighter committed a battery when he allegedly shoved another man into a female bystander at the Trails End Bar and Grill in Taylor Springs, IL.

In other words, Matt Hughes and War Machine won’t be sharing a cell any time soon. But my God, that would make for an amazing sitcom…

(Just bring the man his honey-mustard wings and nobody gets hurt.)

TMZ digs the dirt:

UFC Hall-of-Famer Matt Hughes is at the center of a police investigation … after a female bystander told cops she suffered a broken nose when the fighter went off on another man inside an Illinois bar.

TMZ has confirmed 37-year-old Hughes was named in a police report filed in Taylor Springs, IL … stemming from an April 23 incident at a place called Trails End Bar and Grill.

According to a source who was inside the bar, Hughes got into an argument with a male bar patron … which led to some forceful shoving.

(Just before the nightclub brawl, Overeem also reportedly negged eight women and kino escalated on six.)

When it was announced that Alistair Overeem turned down a Strikeforce heavyweight title fight against Brett Rogers due to an injured hand, we thought it was one of those phantom injuries that mysteriously arises when someone asks you to fight a comparatively unknown up-and-comer on a month’s notice. But it turns out Overeem’s injury is very real. And there’s a pretty interesting story behind it. Fighter’s Only has the tale…