(David Rickels enlists the help of Steven Spielberg to secure the Potato Award for Greatest Walkout of 2013. They’re filling up fast, people. All gifs via ZombieProphet/BloodyElbow.) 

As has become the standard for a Bellator event, last night’s Bellator 94 was packed to the brim with exciting stoppages, grueling decisions, and a fair share of controversy thrown in for good measure.

The main card kicked off with a Season 9 bantamweight tournament qualifier bout between Rodrigo Lima and Ronnie Mann, the latter of which was making his bantamweight debut. As noted by the Bellator broadcast team, the characteristic speed that led Mann to the featherweight tourney semifinals in Season 6 was all but negated against Lima, who outgunned, outgrappled, and plain outworked Mann in every aspect of the fight en route to a unanimous decision victory.

The evening’s next bout was also a season 9 qualifier, this time at welterweight, and pitted Trey “That Just Happened?” Houston (Seriously, that’s his nickname. Do we have a Worst Nickname category for this year’s Potato Awards? Because I think we have found yet another front-runner.) against Luis Melo. In what turned out to be a rather entertaining affair, Houston attempted to turn things into a brawl while Melo opted to take things to the ground as often as possible. After getting rocked and nearly submitted in the second round, Melo was able to turn the tides on a fading Houston in the third and secured an arm-triangle finish just over a minute into the round.

(Michael Page vs. Ryan Sanders — strong front-runner for Phantom Punch of 2013. Props: videosei.)

Despite losing some of its star power due to injuries, last night’s Bellator 93 event in Lewiston, Maine, turned out to be a mostly-satisfying affair, with eight of the ten scheduled matches ending within the first-round, and three ending within the first 20 seconds. But two unfortunate moments cast a shadow on the event.

First off, Michael Page‘s hotly-anticipated Bellator debut ended with a 10-second KO victory over Ryan Sanders, as the flashy British striker caught Sanders with a straight right as his victim was charging in…or so it seemed. Upon closer inspection, there was something a little fishy about the stoppage. Watch the replays in the video above, and you’ll see that Page either barely touched Sanders, or didn’t touch him at all. At any rate, the strike didn’t seem to justify the reaction of Sanders, who immediately flopped to the mat, clutching his head in agony. He was back on his feet moments later, looking somewhat disappointed. We’re not going to accuse Bellator of some vast conspiracy; it’s more likely that Sanders simply didn’t want to be there. And unfortunately, he may have robbed us of the opportunity to see Page produce another classic no-walk-off knockout.

Speaking of let-downs, the guaranteed barnburner between Marcus Davis vs. Waachiim Spiritwolf ended in a no-contest in the first round, after Davis nailed Spiritwolf with a knee to the groin; Spiritwolf couldn’t continue after the foul. (Sound familiar?) Though the Lewiston crowd chanted “Bullshit!” and booed Spiritwolf in an apparent indictment of his bitchassness, there was nothing fake about that low-blow. Check out the GIF below, via BloodyElbow…

(Bellator 92 highlights courtesy of Bellator.com) 

Although Mark Hunt’s comeback run in the UFC has been nothing short of inspirational, there’s been a similarly grizzled veteran quietly putting together an improbable run for a title in the Bellator realm of the world (I believed it’s pronounced “The Midwest”) as well. We’re talking, of course, about former WEC light heavyweight champion Doug Marshall, who all but fell off the face of the earth after being knocked out by then undefeated killing machine Brian Stann at WEC 33. Since then, however, Marshall has put together a respectable 9-3 record, including a pair of devastating performances in his first two Bellator appearances. Not bad for a guy we last saw getting crushed by Zelg Galesic in the Super Fight League.

On the heels of an upset victory over season 6 finalist Andreas Spang in the season 8 quarterfinals last month, Marshall squared off against the undefeated Russian Sultan Aliev last night. As we know, these are prime days to be a Russian competing in Bellator, hence why Aliev was a 3-to-1 favorite heading into the affair. The good news? Marshall took another huge step forward in what has been an unlikely championship run, defeating Aliev by way of split decision. The even better news? Despite being napped on for the majority of the first and third rounds, Marshall was handed the victory for actually bringing the fight to his opponent without needing a warning from Herb Dean to do so. It was a decision that you wouldn’t likely see swing in Marshall’s favor 9 times out of 10, but for once, takedowns + top control – any actual offense did not equal a winning combination in MMA. We were just as shocked as you were.

Full results for Bellator 92 and a couple gif highlights are after the jump. 

(Bellator 91 video highlights via Bellator.com)

Given that his last fight resulted in a loss to Travis Wiuff, Christian M’Pumbu was something of a paper-champion coming into his first official Bellator title defense against Attila Vegh. By the end of the match, M’Pumbu wasn’t a champion at all.

The two light-heavyweights met in the main event of last night’s Bellator 91 event at the Santa Ana Star Center in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, with the Slovak challenger out-hustling his French-Congolese opponent over five rounds. Vegh directed the pace, landed harder punches — leading to a knockdown in round 1 — and slashed open M’Pumbu’s head with some elbows from the top in round 3.

Though the championship rounds didn’t offer much in terms of excitement, momentum was already in the favor of Vegh, who cruised to a unanimous decision victory. Vegh becomes Bellator’s new light-heavyweight champion, and will make his first title defense against…well, not King Mo, that’s for sure.

Bellator 91′s main card also featured the semi-finals of its Season 8 lightweight tournament. Leading off the Spike broadcast was a rematch between David Rickels and Jason Fischer, who had previously met in a non-tournament bout at Bellator 82; Fischer had come in as a short-notice injury replacement for Alexander Sarnavskiy. Though the final result was the same as their last meeting — Rickels by unanimous decision — the Caveman’s performance was even more dominant this time, as he outclassed Fischer with his striking and submission attempts.

Rickels’s win books him a ticket to the Season 8 lightweight finals against Saad Awad, who steamrolled Will Brooks in just 43 seconds on the other side of the lightweight bracket last night. Awad previously KO’d Guillaume DeLorenzi in 31 seconds during the lightweight quarterfinals at Bellator 87. Fun fact (or scary fact, if you’re David Rickels): Awad’s current six-fight win streak includes four knockouts in under a minute.

(The Emanuel Newton vs. King Mo spinning-backfist falling-tree knockout, via RockOwnsPunk.)

When you’re watching a Bellator event, you can only hope that a memorable finish or two will make up for the general lack of star power compared to those other guys. And oh man, did last night’s Bellator 90 event in West Valley City, Utah, deliver the goods, with all four fights on the Spike TV main card ending within the first two rounds, and three more stoppages featured on the prelims.

But the card’s generous helping of violence was a mixed blessing, since the list of victims included Bellator’s light-heavyweight marquee attraction, and their marketable featherweight inspirational figure. If you didn’t tune in last night, here’s what you missed:

Season 8 Welterweight Semi-Finals: Ben Saunders faced Raul Amaya for the second time in his Bellator stint, and while Killa B completely dominated their first meeting en route to a unanimous decision win, he didn’t even let Amaya out of the first round this time. Amaya was aggressive from the opening bell, but wasn’t able to find his range against the lanky Saunders, who landed counter-punches and body-kicks at will, before putting Amaya’s lights out with a left high kick. (GIF here, via ZombieProphet/BloodyElbow)

The fight on the other side of the 170-bracket was just as quick and one-sided. Douglas Lima didn’t give Bryan Baker a chance to get in the fight, abusing Baker’s legs with low kicks for a couple minutes, then firing a devastating right hand that crumpled “The Beast” to the mat. Lima will now face Saunders in the Season 8 Welterweight Tournament Final at Bellator 93, in a rematch of their Season 5 Welterweight Tournament Final in November 2011, which Lima won by knockout.

(Knockout of the Night: Saad Awad’s surgical strike on Guillaum DeLorenzi)

Bellator held their Season 8 lightweight tournament quarterfinals last night at the Soaring Eagle Casino in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, featuring a wild-and-wooly three-rounder between David “Caveman” Rickels and Lloyd Woodard, and a dominant promotional debut by hot 155-pound prospect Will Brooks. Our own Jason Moles was in attendance, and will be bringing us an interview with Bjorn Rebney later today. In the meantime, here are the videos of all six stoppages on the Bellator 87 card (courtesy of Troll Smasher), with complete results at the end of this post. Enjoy.

(Alexander Sarnavskiy’s rear-naked choke of Thiago Michel)

(Sorry Ben, I don’t think we can count those as “significant strikes.” GIF via ZombieProphet/BloodyElbow)

For the first time since his controversial technical submission of Ryan Thomas during his Bellator debut three years ago, Ben Askren has finished an opponent. Sure, it was one of those sort-of-assisted finishes where the doctor steps in between rounds to wave the fight off, but let’s not take anything anything away from Funky Ben, here: The undefeated Bellator welterweight champion smashed the living dog-poop out of Karl Amoussou for three full rounds last night, and might have permanently injured him had the fight gone on any longer.

It was a prototypical performance from Askren, who spent most of the fight on top of Amoussou, throwing down punches and elbows. Still, there seemed to be a greater sense of urgency from the champ in this fight, a little more intention with his strikes. He slashed open a cut above Amoussou’s eye with an elbow in the first round, and by the end of round three, Amoussou’s left eye was swollen shut and his face was a wet canvas of blood. The fight was mercifully stopped before the fourth round could begin, giving Askren a well-deserved TKO victory.

“I told you guys that it was just a matter of time before my hands got some power in them,” Askren said after the fight. “I dominate positionally, and my hands [have] power too. Welterweights anywhere in the world better watch out, I’m coming.” Askren’s next challenge will likely be the winner of this season’s welterweight tournament, which produced four semifinalists last night…

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

If we needed any more proof that Michael Chandler deserves to be mentioned among the world’s best 155′ers, we got it last night at Bellator 85 in Irvine, California, when the reigning Bellator lightweight champion made decorated judoka Rick Hawn look like it was his first time on the mats. Chandler completed his takedowns with impressive ease, and when he saw an opportunity to take Hawn’s neck during a scramble in round two, he seized on it, sinking a rear-naked choke and showcasing the killer instinct that has now become a hallmark of Chandler’s game. To be honest, it wasn’t much of a fight, and this season’s lightweight tournament field doesn’t suggest that his next challenger will make things any harder for him. On the bright side, Chandler may have just established himself as Bellator’s greatest home-grown fighter — a budding superstar for the promotion’s new Spike TV era.

While Michael Chandler made his title defense with little resistance, reigning featherweight champion Pat Curran faced a much trickier test in Patricio “Pitbull” Freire. Their title fight (which led off the Spike TV broadcast) played out as a 25-minute kickboxing match, which started slow but built into an entertaining and evenly-pitched battle. Curran’s striking was just a little more active and accurate, however, and if you were judging on facial damage through the fight, Pitbull’s swollen-shut right eye and bloodied mouth didn’t exactly scream “winner.” When the scores were announced, “Judo” Gene LeBell saw it for the challenger, but the other two judges made the right call in awarding the win to the defending champ.

In addition to the two title fights, Bellator 85′s main card also featured a pair of light-heavyweight tournament quarterfinals. Unfortunately, those UFC castoffs we mentioned yesterday are well on their way to becoming Bellator castoffs as well, as Renato “Babalu” Sobral and Seth Petruzelli were steamrolled by their lesser-known competitors. Russian M-1 Challenge vet Mikhail Zayats stunned Sobral with a spinning-backfist near the end of the first round of their fight, then swarmed him to the canvas and fired down punches until the fight was stopped. (Eddie Alvarez’s wife called that shit, you guys.)

(Props: BellatorMMA)

For those of you who had better things to do on Saturday, Bellator put together this helpful video recap of their Season Five heavyweight tournament quarterfinals. And for a card full of relatively obscure big-men, the show wasn’t half bad.

Ron Sparks (8-0) continued his rise towards relevancy with an 84-second knockout of Mark Holata. Sparks also happens to be one of those dudes with his own last name tattooed on his stomach, but we won’t hold it against him. Speaking of stoppages, Blagoi Ivanov (5-0, 1 no contest) also kept his unbeaten record, smashing Zak Jensen standing then putting him to a sleep in the second round with a guillotine choke.

(Chris Lozano jacks Brent Weedman with an uppercut during their three-rounder at Caesars Atlantic City. Photo via Bellator)

Bellator’s fifth season kicked off last night, featuring the quarterfinals of their latest welterweight tournament. Still undefeated since his release from the UFC last year, Ben Saunders grabbed his second Bellator victory — and a spot in the semi-finals — in classic “Killa B” fashion, abusing Chris Cisneros for two rounds before ending the bout early in the third frame with a storm of knees from his infamous Thai clinch. Former MFC welterweight champion Douglas Lima also impressed in his promotional debut, winning a unanimous decision over Steve Carl.

On a less-triumphant note, former Bellator standouts Chris Weedman and Dan Hornbuckle ate their second-consecutive losses at the event. Weedman, who ran through his first four opponents under the Bellator banner before getting outpointed by Jay Hieron at the Season 4 Welterweight Finals, fell short once again against Chris Lozano. Weedman took the first round easily on the strength of a knockdown and a slam-takedown, but Lozano controlled the next ten minutes and won a unanimous nod from the judges. Earlier in the evening, Dan Hornbuckle was thoroughly handled by season Brazilian vet Luis “Sapo” Santos.

(Props: BellatorMMA)

So while we’re waiting on KarmaAteMyCat to deliver some videos from last night’s Bellator 48, let’s talk about the action, shall we? With all of the excitement from last night’s event, it only makes sense to start with Cole Konrad vs. Paul Buentello. Yes, they fought. Yes, Cole Konrad won in unspectacular fashion. Yes, we can now stop talking about this fight.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the evening was Pat Curran’s dramatic head kick knockout of former Sengoku champion Marlon Sandro. Despite being in trouble early on, Pat Curran kept his composure and unleashed a brutal roundhouse kick. With his victory, Pat Curran becomes the first fighter to win a Bellator tournament in two different weight classes. I’m not sure what I’m looking forward to more: Pat Curran’s inevitable clash with Joe Warren, or the confused look on his banker’s face when he tries to cash that oversized check.

(Pat Curran’s Peruvian necktie submission of Luis Palomino at Bellator 46, 6/25/11.)

Bellator 48 goes down tonight at the Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, Connecticut, featuring the finals of Bellator’s Summer Series Featherweight Tournament — former Sengoku standout Marlon Sandro vs. former lightweight tournament winner Pat Curran — as well as the promotional debuts of Ricco Rodriguez, Seth Petruzelli, and Paul Buentello. The main card will be broadcast live on MTV2 beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

Honorary CagePotato Fight Team captain Jefferey “KarmaAteMyCat” Watts has snagged a press credential to the event, and will be representing us on press row this evening, hopefully wearing some killer tights. Assuming the Mohegan Sun has a solid Internet connection, Jeff will be sharing his observations during the show, after the jump. It’s not a “liveblog,” so much as a casual chat among friends. So follow along if you’re watching the fights, let us know your thoughts, and remember to refresh the page once in a while. Thanks for being here.

(Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

The last event of Bellator’s fourth season went down last night in Lake Charles, Louisiana, featuring the finals of the light-heavyweight and featherweight tournaments. Christian M’Pumbu earned his way to the LHW finals by knocking out Chris Davis and Tim Carpenter, and it was business as usual against co-finalist Richard Hale. M’Pumbu dropped Hale once in the first round, but was unable to finish him with a D’arce choke. The Congolese-French standout didn’t make the same mistake twice; after scoring another knockdown in the third, M’Pumbu threw down leather until the ref was forced to stop the fight, picking up a $100,000 check and the title of Bellator’s first-ever light-heavyweight champion.

In the featherweight final, Patricio Freire edged out Daniel Straus to a unanimous decision, earning a rematch with champion Joe Warren, who he lost a split decision to last June. Full Bellator 45 results are after the jump…

(Hector Lombard takes Alexander Shlemenko way out of his game, and Zoila Frausto doesn’t look like a woman who just won a fight. Photos courtesy of our own John Sluder. Full gallery coming soon!)

By ReX “Unnecessary Literary Reference” Richardson

Bellator Fighting Championships slouched toward Bethlehem last night, returning to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida for the last show of the third season. Anticipation for this last show has been running high, and Bellator held back some exciting fighters for the finale, trying to put some asses in the seats. The women’s featherweight tournament concluded with monster featherweight Zoila Frausto versus undefeated phenom Megumi Fujii, and middleweight champ Hector Lombard putting his title on the line against eternal scrapper Alexander Shlemenko. Also on the broadcast was Serbian next big thing Dragan Tesanovic — who brought an undefeated record from the European circuit for his first fight in the US — as well as King of the Cage moneyweight Tony Lopez arriving in Bellator, presumably hoping they’ll establish a light heavyweight title for him to collect.

I’m not gonna lie to you: I wish the season had ended last week. Only three fights made the broadcast because decisions were the order of the night. Make that controversial decisions, since fans were already debating what kind of drugs the judges were on before the televised event was finished. Come on in past the jump, and I’ll recap the action for you and possibly bitch about judging a bit. I’m not even going to tease you with anything this time, because that’s just the kind of guy I am.

(Skip to 1:19 for the money shot.)

By ReX “Keep Fear Alive” Richardson

Let’s say that you were in Philadelphia last night, perhaps wandering around looking for the Philadelphia Doll Museum. Maybe you heard that Pagano’s had better cheesesteak than any of those South Philly stands, or you wanted to check out the (allegedly) wild party scene at Temple University. Well, while you were standing there shoving a pound of cheap steak, fried onions, and Cheez Whiz in your face, you might have heard a dull roaring noise coming from the Liacouras Center. That was the sound of Bellator XXXIII. Maybe you forgot with all the excitement around UFC 121 this weekend, but Bellator’s third entertaining season is ending, and they are going out shooting, son.

Erstwhile welterweight champ Lyman Good returned after a sixteen month injury layoff to defend the strap against Ben Askren, rising star Rick Hawn made his debut, and local boy Eddie Alvarez took on a legitimate super fight against Roger “The White Knight” Huerta. If you just facepalmed because you forgot to set your DVR, relax; I got this. Follow me in after the jump, and I’ll recap the televised fights and possibly crack some jokes. Keep in mind that I make no guarantees of quality, but if you don’t read on, you’ll probably hate yourself when the cool kids in the cafeteria start talking about it. Keep it in mind.

(Above: ‘Ayyyyyy‘ — An expression of combat known worldwide. / Below: Matt Major shows off the design that got him eliminated on last night’s episode of Project Runway.)

By ReX “I H8 FSN” Richardson

Last night, Bellator XXIX went to Milwaukee, Wisconsin (which I believe is a Native American word meaning “Dude, I Think We’re Lost”) and put on the first nationally-televised MMA event ever in the state. Bellator seems to thrive by signing fighters hungry for wins, and has kept the energy up by focusing on the lighter weight classes, so it was a bit of a curveball when a heavyweight tournament was announced. Many questioned if Bellator could pull enough quality heavyweights with the conditioning necessary to put on entertaining fights. Heavyweight fights in the Bellator promotion to this point have been a mixed bag, but we’re starting to see the cream rise so I’m optimistic that some fun stuff happens. A couple of loser-leaves-town matches round out the televised card, featuring some guys who’ve been bounced out of tournaments previously (and want back in), plus they snagged the tubby Guida brother to test the light heavyweight waters.

Come on in and I’ll fill you in on the latest Bellator results and news. I promise I’ll lay off the fat jokes this time.

By ReX “Go Panthers” Richardson

Well, Bellator rolled up into New Orleans on Thursday night, and there was incoherent speech, attractive women in small outfits, and some dudes got into a few fights. Bjorn Rebney made some interesting decisions for this one, since the show went off simultaneously with the first game of the NFL season, featuring last year’s SuperBowl Champion New Orleans Saints. At home. In New Orleans. This town is firmly behind their football team when they’re losing, and after a few winning seasons, it’s kinda impressive that more than a handful of people showed up at the Mahalia Jackson Theatre. (My guess is they’re either die-hard MMA fans or they hate America.) It’s pretty ballsy to put a card here this week, but Rebney’s father is the goddamn Winnebago Man, so if you don’t agree with him you can just fuck off. Also noteworthy is that there are no tournament bouts on the card, for the first time in 28 shows, but winners here will presumably show up next season in a bracket.

If you don’t mind listening to a play by play to something that went down two days ago, come on in and I’ll tell you about Bellator XXVIII. Special inside: the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu move you must try in bed!

(Scott "Bear" Barrett rocking the most ironic boxer-briefs in Bellator history. Photo courtesy of Bellator.com)

By DL “@ReXone3” RichardsonJr

Bellator FC rolled into Chicago this week, in the second stop of the season 3 tour. On the menu for the evening are two heavyweight tilts, one women’s featherweight bout, and a handful of showcase fights. Bellator has continued to sign talent, and they bring in a few UFC vets to fill out the card: Brad Blackburn (3-2 UFC) is matched up with Dan Hornbuckle, who came up short last season in the welterweight tournament. Brian Gassaway lost to Diego Sanchez back at UFC 54 when Diego was the next big thing, and he faces off against fellow one-and-done Zuffa employee Kevin Knabjian, who lost to Brock Larson in the WEC. And for those of you who enjoy the finer things in life — pimpin’, traveling the world, and spinning elbows, Bellator presents Mr International himself, Shonie Carter.

Bellator has done everything they can to ensure an entertaining show. Will the tournaments continue to be action-packed? Will one of these vets make a statement with their performance? Will Jimmy Smith and Sean Wheelock correctly pronounce “Megumi Fujii”? Will Cole Konrad come out in a singlet, bro-ssiere, maybe both?

Well, I have some answers for you. You may not like them, but I got them….

(Zoila Frausto vs. Rosi Sexton. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “All’s Well That Enswell” Richardson

Like summer vacations, dorm parties, and that time you dated the sex-crazed stripper, all good things must come to an end. It was the final show for Bellator’s second season last night, and if you weren’t watching, it was your own damn fault. Louisville, Kentucky plays host for the finals in two weight classes, a women’s division superfight, and a bantamweight tourney qualifier, plus some regional action and (I assume) some horse races and bourbon tastings out of sheer habit. What surprises are in store? Who will turn in a stellar performance and make a name for themselves, as Ben Askren did just last week? Who will claim the poster-sized check and grin goofily as they hold it aloft for all to see, as Ben Askren also did last week? Will Alexander “The Dreidel” Shlemenko manage to keep his fight on the feet? Will we finally make up our minds about whether Joe Warren is a pretty cool guy who isn’t afraid of anything, or is he, after all, just a turbo douche? That’s a lot of questions — what are you, a preschooler? Seriously, if you start just asking “why?” every time I say something, I’ll turn this car around, and we won’t even go to the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory Tour. Follow me past the jump, and all will be revealed. If you’re good, maybe I’ll talk your mother into seeing the zoo. If not, I’m taking us to see the World’s Largest Bottle of Booze.

(The Jose Vega vs. Jarrod Card knockout. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “Low Blow” Richardson

Bellator XXII returned to the Kansas City Power and Light District last night, in the penultimate show of the second season. The welterweight tournament finals were the main event, but “Boring” “Funky” Ben Askren was part of that matchup, so those nice folks at Bellator tried to put on a good ol’ fashioned, bread and circuses, action packed kind of card. Most of the fighters had an invite to one of next season’s tournaments — conditional upon their performance in KC, MO. What we got was one KTFO, one technical submission, one tap to strikes like a pussy, and…wait, wait, wait, let me start from the beginning. After the jump, allow me to thrill you with my account of the action. And maybe apologize for my can’t miss predictions…

(Bellator Savings and Loans? I’m not familiar with that bank, Mr. Curran. We’ll have to put a hold on that check)

By DL “Colorful Prose” Richardson

As the second season of Bellator draws to a close, we get less of the tournament battles and more of the feature bouts and tryout fights. That’s not necessarily a complaint: fighters can put on some captivating performances when there’s a lot on the line, and we’ve seen it already this season. Tonight, the main event is the final of the 155 pound tournament, but there’s considerable buzz around the stateside return of Megumi Fujii. Fujii, who came in at 19-0, is considered one of, if not the, top pound for pound women’s fighters. Bellator rounds out the live show with a heavyweight bout with a potential invitation to next season’s tournament on the line.
Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly, and I’ll tell you what went down, what I think about it, and the secret ingredient to in El Famous Burritos.

(Uh…what? Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

By DL “Remember the Lackland” Richardson

Bellator’s second season is winding down, as we complete another set of semifinals at the Majestic Theatre in San Antonio, Texas. Even if you’ve been paying attention, though, you still may find it hard to predict what is going to happen when Bellator is on. BFCXX popped off last night, and if you forgot about it or your cable company is a bunch of greedy bastards, allow me to fill you in. Results and full recap after the jump, as well as my secret to wealth and attracting the most attractive sexual partners…

(The ending of Hornbuckle vs. Carl. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “Bellat-Whore” Richardson

Chances are that if you watch Bellator, you’re going to see something new. Unless you’re Jordan Breen, you’re probably going to see a fighter or two you haven’t watched before. You may see something silly, like Matt Major’s sweet man-panties at Bellator XVI. Or it may be something exciting, like a 360 degree spinning guard pass and punch from Ryan Thomas at Bellator XV. This is part of the excitement of watching a Bellator event: the joy of discovery that many MMA fans just don’t get very often these days. Sure, we may be surprised by the results of fights — that’s why they have gambling on MMA — but most of us have a rough idea of what to expect when we sit down to a Pay Per View. Not so with the BFC. Bjorn Rebney has managed to catch lightening in a bottle, putting on interesting cards on a weekly basis with up-and-coming talent that deserves the exposure.

Bellator XIX went down in Grand Prairie, Texas last night, with the welterweight tournament semifinals and a featherweight SuperFight on tap. Results after the jump. Also, a concise explanation as to why they call it “the jump.”

(Hector Lombard produces the fastest K.O. in Bellator history. What, you thought Jay Silva was going to shock the world? Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA.)

By DL “Potential Sociopath” Richardson

Say you live in Louisiana. Not the cool part where people party their asses off every day. I’m talking about inland, where you still get the humidity, but no one dresses up before Ash Wednesday, and you can never find a place to sell you a to-go alcoholic beverage. Say you live in Monroe. What do you do for fun? Well, you could go hang out at the Pecanland Mall and hit on that cute girl at Yummy Japan, but if you have any damn sense, you catch the Bellator Fighting Championships whenever they come into town. Last night, Bellator visited the Monroe Civic Center for the semifinal round of this season’s featherweight tournament, and as usual, they put on a show. Full results and recap after the jump…

(The end of the Alvarez/Neer fight, via YouTube.com/BellatorMMA.)

By DL “Tank Abbot” Richardson

Some of Bellator’s biggest names were on the card last night at the Citi Performing Arts Center, for the first-ever major MMA show in Boston. Two semi-final matchups for the lightweight tourney were on tap, plus a 160-pound SuperFight between Eddie Alvarez and Josh Neer, and a heavyweight exhibition featuring one of Brock Lesnar‘s training dummies partners. But not everything went as planned. A full rundown of Bellator 17 is after the jump. Prepare yourselves — some crazy shit went down…

(Rex’s "first draft," courtesy of jimbonics. Click for larger version.)

by CagePotato.com contributor DL "ReX13" Richardson

Middleweight just hasn’t been home to many exciting fights lately. Whether it’s the result of a grinding style that never goes for the finish, or simply because a fighter is apparently out of his goddamn mind, there’s been a noticeable lack of offense at 185. Bellator hoped to bring the sexy back last night, as they visited the Power & Light District in Kansas City, Missouri, for the quarterfinals of this year’s middleweight tournament. The winner of the Season Two tourney receives a title shot against current champ Hector “Shango” Lombard, who faces off with Paulo Filho in a non-title scrap on May 13th. Full Bellator XVI event recap and results are after the jump…

(Brett Cooper/Steve Carl photo courtesy of Bellator.com. Videos to come soon, hopefully.)

…are after the jump. Read on to see how Dan Hornbuckle fared in his Bellator debut, and if Ryan Thomas made the most of his welterweight tournament do-over.

(The gruesome end of Curran vs. Ricci. All four tournament fights from last night’s event ended in stoppages. Video courtesy of YouTube.com/BellatorMMA.)

…are waiting for you after the jump.

(End of the Quach/Karakhanyan match. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)
 
…are after the jump, for you spoiler-haters.

(Say something about Castro again. Hector wishes you would.)

Regulatory difficulties in Quebec forced Bellator to get all old-school UFC and move Bellator IX to the glitz and glamour of Monroe, Louisiana, but they did what any good promotion would do: grabbed some crawfish and rolled with the punches.  Last night’s event narrowed down their finalists for the upcoming middleweight tournament, and they had a bunch of other fights just for fun.  Here’s how it went down:

Middleweight semi-final tournament fights:
Jared Hess def. Yosmany Cabezas via TKO at 4:26, round 3
Hector Lombard def. Damien Stelly via TKO (strikes) at 2:56, round 1

Non-tournament fights:
Nick Ring def. Isidro "Chilo" Gonzalez via submission (guillotine) at 0:39, round 1
Shad Lierley def. Nate Murdock via unanimous decision
Alex Andrade def. Christian Fulgram via TKO at 2:01, round 1
Shawn Jordan def. Jayme McKinney via submission at 0:30, round 2
Chan Leonhardt def. Dan Keenan via KO at 3:03, round 1
Chas Skelly def. Mike Braswell via split decision, round 3