(Check out the communication skills on these ladies.)

Now that they are becoming more and more big time with each new sunrise, Bellator has decided that the next step is to improve their stable of ring girls. And how do you do that? The same way creepy casting directors meet their dates for Saturday night – unnecessary auditions!

In a move that is just begging for their email inboxes to be filled with alarming nude photos (take it from someone who worked for an MMA org conducting a ring girl search, it happens more than you’d think), Bellator is asking interested applicants to send photos and resumes to their Chicago offices. To be considered you should have “excellent communications skills, a vivacious and outgoing personality as well as an outstanding camera presence.” Translation: you should speak English, be really hot, and not be a completely unlikable jerk, at least when people are watching.

Does that sound like you? Probably not, no. Our completely informal demographic research tells us that most likely you are a) a dude, b) not all that attractive, or even in possession of socially acceptable hygiene habits, and c) at least sort of a jerk. But, shockingly enough, we know there are some women who read Cage Potato, and maybe even some who’d like to try their hand at ring girlin’. To those women, let us be the first to say, go for it.  We’re even willing to help.

(Now that Warren will be fighting in the U.S. again, maybe he and long lost brother Jon Gruden can finally reconnect and form some type of relationship.)

In early 2009 Joe Warren seemed like just another decorated amateur wrestler making a hasty leap into MMA after a positive marijuana test derailed his Olympic dreams. But then he beat Chase Beebe and "Kid" Yamamoto in his first two fights, and suddenly the MMA world began to take notice. Now, after a bitter loss to Bibiano Fernandes in the semi-finals of Dream’s featherweight Grand Prix, Warren has signed on to compete in Bellator’s 145-pound tournament in 2010. In this exclusive interview, Warren discusses that decision and much more with Cage Potato.

So what made you decide to go with Bellator?

Well, I’ve been wanting to get back in the states and fight, but I’ve also signed an Asia-only contract with Dream for this next year. I was really excited when I met the people from Bellator and I loved the opportunities they were offering me, like the chance to fight on TV here at home, but still go back and win that belt in Dream. I think we all saw eye-to-eye and I’m glad to be in an up-and-coming organization like this in the states.

(Bisping, Arlovski, Griffin, and Swanson: Four of the year’s most unfortunate victims.)

#25: Vitor Belfort sends Matt Lindland into convulsions at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

#24. Gegard Mousasi makes his presence known in America by pounding Renato Sobral flat at Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg (8/15/09).

#23: Matt Hamill unleashes his inner Cro Cop against Mark Munoz at UFC 96 (3/7/09).

IF YOU MISSED KNOCKOUTS #25-13, CLICK HERE.

#12: Fedor Emelianenko adds Brett Rogers to his vast collection of scalps at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers (11/7/09).

#11: Brian Bowles shocks the world, earns the WEC’s bantamweight title, and breaks Miguel Torres‘s 17-fight win streak at WEC 42 (8/9/09).

#10: Lyoto Machida makes Rashad Evans do the stanky leg at UFC 98. (5/23/09)

#9: Dan Hornbuckle starches Akihiro Gono with a kick to the face at Sengoku 9 — then takes a moment to think about what he’s done (8/2/09).

#8: Scott Smith pulls off the greatest comeback knockout of the year against Cung Le at Strikeforce: Evolution (12/19/09).

#7: Dan Henderson shuts Michael Bisping‘s big spotted-dick-eating mouth at UFC 100 (7/11/09).

#6 (tie): Marius Zaromskis high-kicks Hayato Sakurai into a living death at the DREAM welterweight GP semi-finals; later that same night, Marius Zaromskis does the same exact thing to Jason High (7/20/09). Congrats, Jason, you’re on the wrong end of this list twice.

#5: Yahir Reyes cracks Estevan Payan with what might be the nastiest spinning-backfist in MMA history at Bellator 6. (5/8/09)

#4: Jose Aldo needs just 8 seconds and a well-timed flying knee to wreck Cub Swanson — and earn a title shot — at WEC 41 (6/7/09).

#3: Anderson Silva shows Forrest Griffin the true power of a Jedi at UFC 101 (8/8/09).

#2: Fedor Emelianenko shoots Andrei Arlovski out of the air at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

Fedor vs. Arlovski – Watch more Funny Videos

#1: Marcus "Lelo" Aurelio proves that Capoeira is MMA’s most effective style — at least for one night — against Keegan Marshall at North American Challenge 24 (4/4/09).

(Jim Wallhead vs. Marius Buzinskas, 9/5/09)

Bellator’s second season is slated to kick off on April 8th, and while there are still many questions yet to be answered — will the weight classes be different this time? will last year’s champions re-enter the brackets, or will they only be used for one-off title fights? — a cluster of recent reports suggest that the 2010 welterweight tournament will be stacked with talented fight-finishers. Among the 170-pounders who have reportedly signed on are…

Dan Hornbuckle (19-2): The Indiana native captured our attention this year with memorable knockouts of Akihiro Gono and Nick Thompson in Sengoku. 18 of his 19 victories have come by stoppage. He has a black belt in intensity.

Ben Askren (3-0): He’s a rookie in the MMA scene, but Askren comes from an incredibly decorated amateur wrestling background that culminated in a spot on the 2008 U.S. Olympic team. All three of his wins came via first-round stoppage.

(Askren’s most recent fight vs. Matt Delanoit, 8/28/09. Props: Pure Fight.)

Ben Askren was a four-time All-American wrestler at the University of Missouri and an Olympic hopeful at the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing. He came home without a medal, his dreams temporarily dashed, and has since turned his focus toward MMA, racking up a 3-0 record in smaller promotions. But now the former wrestling standout has signed on to compete in Bellator’s welterweight tournament in the spring of 2010, though that doesn’t mean he’s forgetting all about his goals in the world of wrestling. Far from it, in fact. He seems to think he can someday be the best in the world at both MMA and wrestling, and nobody can talk him out of it.

CagePotato.com: You’re one of the more well known wrestlers. You were a two-time national champ at Missouri and you got a lot of press heading into the Olympics. What made you decide to sign with Bellator?

It’s the best offer I had right now. They made me a good offer and they said they’d let me keep wrestling on the side, so that played a big part in my decision.

(Toby Imada’s infamous flying inverse triangle choke of Jorge Masvidal at Bellator 5.)

Bellator MMA make a dramatic arrival earlier this year with a weekly ESPN Deportes series and a memorable string of viral videos on YouTube. But the league lost some momentum during the long negotiations for a new broadcast partner, and its fighters have struggled to find work. The good news is, the wait was worth it. This morning, Bellator announced an unprecedented three-part network deal that will put their product in over 100 million homes.

Bellator’s second season will launch April 8th, 2010, with 12 weekly live events that will air Thursday nights on FOX Sports Net and its regional sports network affiliates (reach: 82 million homes). Every subsequent Saturday night, a 30-minute highlight show will be broadcast on NBC (112 million homes), and an hour-long package will air on Telemundo (62 million homes). The deal also includes a third 12-week season that is slated to begin on August 12th. Both seasons are expected to follow the multi-tournament format established in Bellator’s first season, which crowned Joe Soto, Eddie Alvarez, Lyman Good and Hector Lombard the promotion’s champions.

(Props: youtube.com/BellatorMMA)

Bellator’s inaugural season came to a close on Friday night, with the finals of their middleweight and lightweight brackets. In the 185-pound title fight, Hector Lombard used his striking and ground-and-pound to open up some nasty cuts on the head of his opponent, Jared Hess; the fight was eventually stopped in the fourth round after Hess lost a few gallons of blood. Directly after, 155-pound favorite Eddie Alvarez completed his sweep of the lightweight tourney by knocking Toby Imada out of his jock with a big right hook early in the second round, then sinking in a rear-naked choke. Lombard and Alvarez collected $100,000 checks for their efforts.

In non-tournament action, Jorge Masvidal submitted Eric Reynolds via third-round rear-naked choke, Bodog/ShoXC vet Rosi Sexton submitted Valerie Coolbaugh via first-round armbar, and Stephanie Guimaraes became Bellator’s latest YouTube star with her 49-second knee-knockout of Yvonne Reis. The Guimaraes knockout is above; highlights from the Lombard/Hess and Alvarez/Imada fights are after the jump.

Brutal Flying Knee KO at Bellator XI – Watch more Funny Videos

Lyman Good became Bellator‘s first welterweight champion on Friday night, scoring a quick TKO victory over Omar De La Cruz at Bellator XI in Uncasille, Connecticut. The Tiger Schulmann MMA product needed just 1:23 to take De La Cruz down and slug his way to a referee stoppage, collecting a $100,000 check in the process.

But the event’s real star was Good’s rookie teammate Nick Pace, who KTFO’d Collin Tebo with a flying knee to the jaw, then knocked his mouthpiece out with a follow-up right hand; the video is above. Not sure how we feel about his weird hip-grinding at the end, but Pace could be a fighter to watch. Full results from the card are here. Video of the Good/De La Cruz stoppage is after the jump.

(Garijo vs. Awad. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

Swallowed up in the Strikeforce/WEC hype this weekend was Friday’s Bellator show, which was headlined by the finals of their featherweight tournament. Joe Soto, who had already run through Ben Greer and Wilson Reis to make it to the finals, completely dominated Yahir Reyes, beating him up with heavy ground-and-pound in the first round, then doing it some more in the second before sinking in a rear-naked choke. Soto earned $100,000 for the win, bringing his tournament total up to $175,000. Even more memorable than Soto’s win was the dogfight between Diego Garijo and Saad Awad, in which Garijo got rocked repeatedly with punches but managed to survive and choke out Awad with 15 seconds left in round one.

Also on the card, WEC vet Bryan Baker won a unanimous decision over IFL/UFC vet Matt Horwich, and Wilson Reis snuck off with a split decision victory over Roberto Vargas. Full results from the event can be found here; Bellator heads to Uncasville, Connecticut this Friday for their welterweight finals. The Soto/Reyes beating is after the jump.

(Courtesy of YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

Though Hector Lombard drew most of the attention at Friday’s Bellator show, the night’s best stoppage belonged to Chad Leonhardt — great name for a fighter, by the way — who scored a YouTube-worthy first-round KO over Daniel Keenan. Watch as Leonhardt crushes Keenan with an overhand right, then puts him to sleep with a mouthpiece-ejecting knee to the face. Thanks, Chad. Bellator’s upcoming schedule is after the jump…

(Say something about Castro again. Hector wishes you would.)

Regulatory difficulties in Quebec forced Bellator to get all old-school UFC and move Bellator IX to the glitz and glamour of Monroe, Louisiana, but they did what any good promotion would do: grabbed some crawfish and rolled with the punches.  Last night’s event narrowed down their finalists for the upcoming middleweight tournament, and they had a bunch of other fights just for fun.  Here’s how it went down:

Middleweight semi-final tournament fights:
Jared Hess def. Yosmany Cabezas via TKO at 4:26, round 3
Hector Lombard def. Damien Stelly via TKO (strikes) at 2:56, round 1

Non-tournament fights:
Nick Ring def. Isidro "Chilo" Gonzalez via submission (guillotine) at 0:39, round 1
Shad Lierley def. Nate Murdock via unanimous decision
Alex Andrade def. Christian Fulgram via TKO at 2:01, round 1
Shawn Jordan def. Jayme McKinney via submission at 0:30, round 2
Chan Leonhardt def. Dan Keenan via KO at 3:03, round 1
Chas Skelly def. Mike Braswell via split decision, round 3

(Bellator VII highlights, courtesy of YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

Bellator‘s welterweight tournament finals were settled on Friday night in Chicago, as Lyman Good and Omar De La Cruz got their hands raised in the semis after dominant performances. Good increased his record to 9-0 with his whipping of Jorge Ortiz (highlights begin at the above video’s 4:15 mark), as he poured on an overwhelming barrage of strikes over two rounds until Ortiz’s face fell apart and the fight was stopped due to a cut. De La Cruz was just as aggressive in his fight with former UFC middleweight champ Dave Menne (see the vid’s 6:15 mark), throwing down some of hardest punches from the top that you will ever see in your life, before ending the fight with a lights-out right hook. Good and De La Cruz will meet in the welterweight finals on June 12th in Uncasville, Connecticut.

In non-tournament action, Kerry Vera won a thrilling three-rounder over Leslie Smith in her MMA debut (highlights begin at the video’s 1:28 mark), and UFC vet Eddie Sanchez scored the fastest knockout in Bellator history with his 10-second demolition of Jay White (skip to 3:39). Full event results and the complete video of the must-see Vera/Smith fight are after the jump…

(Kerry’s muay thai fight in Thailand for the Oxygen network’s "Fight Girls" show.  Check out Brandon being all supportive.  Awww.)

As we told you earlier, Kerry Vera, the wife of UFC fighter Brandon Vera, is making her MMA debut at tonight’s Bellator event.  We decided to find out if this is just some Kim Couture situation or if Vera is really serious about kicking ass and possibly even taking names.  Here’s how the conversation went.

This is your first MMA fight, but you’ve done some kickboxing in the past.  What made you decide to do MMA now?

I just wanted to do something more.  I figured, I’m probably not going to be fighting for too much longer so I wanted to try MMA and see what would happen.  It’s fun.  It’s a whole new challenge for me.

What do you know about your opponent?  I hear she’s undefeated.

I don’t know much.  I know she’s from Colorado (laughs).  That, and she’s had a few MMA fights.  That’s all I really know.

(Billy Evangelista and Mike Aina headline tonight’s "Challengers" show in Fresno. Photo courtesy of Strikeforce.)

The UFC is taking another weekend off, but there’s still enough MMA action going on tonight to satisfy your thirst for combat — as long as you have a solid cable TV package. Here’s what’s happening…

STRIKEFORCE CHALLENGERS 1
When+Where: Tonight at the Save Mart Center in Frenso, California, starting at 6 p.m.
How to Watch: Showtime, 11 p.m. ET/PT
Lowdown: Strikeforce’s new up-and-comer series kicks off with a lightweight clash between undefeated prospect Billy Evangelista and BJ Penn student Mike Aina in the main event. Elsewhere on the main card, Miesha Tate tangles with Sarah Kaufman, and former Strikeforce #1 light-heavyweight contender Anthony Ruiz takes on ShoXC vet Aaron Rosa. The full lineup can be seen here.

(238,000 views and counting.  Not bad.)

We’ll admit it, when we first heard about Bellator, a tournament-oriented MMA organization airing to a Spanish-language audience on ESPN Deportes, we were skeptical.  But two straight weeks of viral video hits thanks to some exciting finishes piqued our curiosity, and we decided to talk with Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney to try and figure out what this thing is all about.

CagePotato.com: You guys have had a couple good weeks on the internet with Toby Imada’s submission and then the spinning backfist KO.  That stuff makes for good viral video, but is it just a couple lucky outcomes or do you chalk it up to good planning and matchmaking?

I don’t think you can ever plan for what happened with Toby Imada and I don’t think you can ever plan for what happened with Yahir Reyes.  What I do think is this: the tournament structure, and the ability of our fighters to make their own way and determine what they make, with the overall amount being quite high, it generates a willingness on the fighters’ parts to take some risks that they might not otherwise take.  We may just be incredibly lucky to have found some amazing fighters who did amazing things the last couple of weeks, but it’s played out beautifully for us.  

(Another Bellator show, another epic finish. Yahir Reyes FTW. Video courtesy of youtube.com/BellatorMMA.)

Bellator Fighting Championships‘ sixth installment went down Friday night in Robstown, Texas, featuring the two semi-final fights of their featherwight bracket — both of which produced shocking results. Undefeated tournament favorite Wilson Reis ate his first career loss in an upset against rising star Joe Soto, who stuffed Reis’ takedowns and kept the fight standing where he had the advantage. Soto outstruck Reis to a comfortable unanimous decision, earning the right to face the night’s other big winner, Yahir Reyes, in the tourney’s featherweight finals. Reyes withstood an aggressive showing early on by opponent Estevan Payan — who missed weight by over three pounds — before knocking him into last month with a brilliant spinning-backfist.

Full results from the event are after the jump…

(Did you know that "MMA Fix" from RawVegas.tv is on actual TV in Canada via The Fight Network?  Well you do now.)

UFC president Dana White joined Forrest Griffin and Kenny Florian on an episode of “Dr. Phil” that will air next Thursday, May 14.  They were apparently there to talk to people about good types of MMA and bad types of MMA.  For example, fighting in a sanctioned MMA event after diligent training at a respected gym: good.  Superman-punching your little brother while he watches cartoons: bad (but hilarious).  Dana White will presumably drive this point home by telling them to “knock it off, you fuckers.”  Then Griffin and Florian will break down in tears and admit that all they’ve wanted was Dana’s approval.  Group hug!   

In other news…

(Props: Fightlinker)

As promised, here’s the video of what some are calling the "submission of the decade" — Toby Imada‘s come-from-behind upset victory over Jorge Masvidal at Friday’s Bellator event via inverted mid-air triangle-choke. Enjoy it, because you may not see something like this ever again.

(Yeah, that’s an upside down triangle choke. Props: Watch Kalib Run.)

Maybe the most interesting story to come out of Bellator so far is Toby Imada’s upset of Jorge Masvidal in last night’s Bellator lightweight tournament semi-finals.  Masvidal was reportedly in control for most of the bout, but in the third round a failed takedown attempt led to an upside down triangle choke from Imada against a standing Masvidal.  Masvidal did his best to endure it, but ended up collapsing to the canvas unconscious.  Bellator promises us video of the submission soon, and this ought to be good.  Imada moves on to the finals to face Eddie Alvarez, who was also victorious last night.  Full results are after the jump.

(Image courtesy of Bellator.com)

The Bellator Fighting Championships‘ ongoing tournament series made a stop in Norman, Oklahoma, on Friday night, with an 11-bout card highlighted by the first round of their middleweight bracket. Fights from this event were split between two separate ESPN Deportes broadcasts, one shown two nights ago ("Bellator III") and one to be aired next Saturday ("Bellator IV"); weird, I know.

As expected, 185-pound favorite Hector Lombard advanced to the semifinals and increased his record to 19-2 with a dominant win over Virgil "The Mexican Machine" Lozano. "Shango" needed just 70 seconds to knock out Lozano from the clinch with a well-timed uppercut. Though Lombard may be the only fighter in the 185-pound bracket that most MMA fans have heard of, he has a very stiff test coming up in his semifinal fight against Damien Stelly, a U.S. Army Ranger who used slams and ground-and-pound to score a unanimous decision over Lion’s Den fighter Alex "El Toro" Andrade.

Elsewhere on the card, former UFC middleweight champ Dave Menne handed ATT prospect Norman Paraisy his first career loss, as part of Bellator’s welterweight tournament. Though Paraisy held an edge in the first two rounds of their match, Menne was able to take Paraisy’s back during a scramble in the third frame and sink in a rear-naked choke. Menne advances to the 170-pound semifinals and will next take on Omar De La Cruz.

Following a one-week layoff, Bellator’s next show will be held May 1st at the Hara Arena in Dayton, Ohio, and will feature the semifinal match-ups for their lightweight tournament. Top-ten lightweight Eddie Alvarez will meet Eric Reynolds, while Bodog/Strikeforce/Sengoku vet Jorge Masvidal will match up with Toby Imada.

Full results from Bellator III/IV are after the jump…

(Wilson Reis vs. Henry Martinez)

If you’re one of the proud, multi-lingual subscribers of ESPN Deportes, this is old news to you, but the second weekly installment of the Bellator Fighting Championships went down Friday night (and was broadcast on Saturday), with former EliteXC 140-pound champ Wilson Reis extending his record to 7-0 with a decision win over Henry Martinez, and IFL/Ring of Combat vet Lyman Good scoring his eighth consecutive win after choking out Hector Urbina. Also on the card was Jorge Ortiz (aka "The Naked Man"), who scored a decision win over Aaron Romero. You can watch the entire broadcast (in English!) starting this Wednesday on Bellator.com. Full results are below…

TOURNAMENT BOUTS
Wilson Reis def. Henry Martinez via unanimous decision (bantamweights)
Eric Reynolds def. Thomas Schulte via TKO, 4:18 of round 1 (lightweights)
Lyman Good def. Hector Urbina via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:22 of round 2 (welterweights)
Omar de la Cruz def. Victor Meza via unanimous decision (welterweights)
Jorge Ortiz def. Aaron Romero via unanimous decision (welterweights)

NON-TOURNAMENT BOUTS
Jesse Juarez def. Mikey Gomez via TKO, 4:23 of round one (welterweights)
Matt Makowksi def. Aaron Tregear via unanimous decision (lightweights)
Jimmie Rivera def. Willie Gates via submission (triangle choke), 3:17 of round 3 (bantamweights)
Josh Laberge def. Chris Simmons via unanimous decision (lightweights)

Bellator’s staggered four-weight-class tournament system may seem confusing at first, but basically here’s what’s going to happen…

(Chambers is the one who looks like he’d give himself the nickname "Hollywood.")

Bellator Fighting Championships – also known as one of the organizations to fire War Machine – announced via press release their announcing teams for both English and Spanish broadcasts.  The Spanish portion will be done by former King of the Cage champ Manny Rodriguez and some guy known as George X (ed. note: you can do that? just change your last name to an "x"? that’s awesome).  

Getting the nod for the portion that most of us will be able to understand is the duo of Jon Anik, from ESPN’s “MMA Live,” and Jason Chambers, from The History Channel’s “Human Weapon” series.  

Chambers actually used to be an MMA fighter, competing as Jason “Hollywood” Chambers, though his most notable fight was a loss to Thiago Alves at an Ironheart Crown event in Hammond, Indiana back in 2004.  He tapped due to strikes in the first round.  Fun fact: those rape charges against him were dismissed, so he’s available, ladies…

If you’re curious how you can watch these guys to see if they might possibly rival Tito Ortiz’s genius on the mic (no way), the Spanish-language version will run on ESPN Deportes and the English one will be on Bellator’s website.  Poor Jon Anik.  What’s the guy got to do to get on an actual TV?

A lot of you have already been discussing this in the comments sections of today’s stories, but we wanted to pass along the above screen-cap of War Machine‘s latest MySpace blog post, courtesy of Fightlinker. It seems that his provocative political views ("Fuck an Obama…I hope someone smokes that motherfucker and every president to come") have gotten him kicked off of another promotion’s roster. This time it’s the Bellator Fighting Championships, which will be launching a series of MMA tournaments to be televised on ESPN Deportes beginning April 4th. And while a setback like this would certainly convince us to stop posting our private thoughts in public, Machine is not "changing for anyone or any dollar amount…I will always be true to myself and my beliefs." Take it from an objective observer, War — your beliefs aren’t worth more than a potential $250,000 payday. I don’t even think you could put a down payment on a pre-owned Ford Focus with your beliefs. And dude, "fuck a Disney"? FOR SHAME.

Bellator’s roster is coming together very slowly, but here’s who they have so far according to MMA Weekly:

Announced Participants for Lightweight Tournament
Eddie Alvarez
Jorge Masvidal
Thomas Schulte
Diego Garijo

Announced Participants for Featherweight Tournament
Wilson Reis
Nick Gonazlez
Joe Soto

(When in Zagreb…)

Maybe now we know why Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic has been reluctant to accept a rematch with Alistair Oveerem.  Sure, he’s got that knee injury, and Overeem is the man who made it his personal mission to destroy Cro Cop’s testicles in their last meeting, but to add to his troubles Cro Cop recently lost his favorite cocaine-addicted sparring partner to an armed robbery arrest.  That always happens at the worst times, doesn’t it?

According to a translation done by Robert at betwxx (via Brawl Sports), Mirko Borkovic (aw, cute, same first name!) was arrested in Zagreb as a “serial armed robber.”  He’s charged with robbing twenty-five “betting agencies,” making off with over 250,000 Croation Kuna, a little over $45,000 in U.S. dollars. 

Don’t worry though, it was just to finance his cocaine addiction, so it’s not like he’s a scumbag or anything.  Apparently he did some time for possession in 2003, and said he used the drug as a performance-enhancer to aid his kickboxing training.  My ex-girlfriend tried that same story.  Six months into the relationship I realized she didn’t even have a gym membership.  Or a job.  And then I noticed my wallet was missing.  But I digress.

Also snuck into the report is this little nugget about Cro Cop’s other associations these days:

Only a month earlier Cro Cop was forced to deny having sparred with Robert Matanic a local crime figure and suspect in the murder of Ivo Pukanica. In a interview with Nova TV, Cro Cop disassociated himself from Matanic claiming not to ever have met or sparred with Matanic.

In Cro Cop’s defense, roughly 80% of Croatians are involved in organized crime.  You spar with enough people, eventually one of them is going to be a suspected murderer.  Just kidding, Croatian readers.  Please don’t murder me.

In other news…