IQ or sperm count? No, I mean FUCK YOU!

According to Dana White and Nate Diaz himself, the newly declared #1 contender for the light-weight division stated at the UFC on FOX post-fight press conference that he will wait for the winner of the pending Ben Henderson VS Frankie Edgar bout. Just prior to the Jim Miller VS Nate Diaz contest, the rumor mill began to swirl that Edgar had injured his nose in training and the upcoming rematch with BenDo was going to get pushed back until later this year in the September-November area. If that is the case, Diaz is going to be sitting for the next several months.

According to the official UFC twitter account:
“Dana says Diaz will wait for the title shot. He had the option to fight Pettis first if he wanted to stay busy but it was never mandated.”

Fair enough, I suppose, but if Nate is going to wait until after the scheduled championship rematch and then linger until the winner heals, we are conservatively looking at March of 2013 or later before he competes again. That is a pretty long lay-off for a competitor that had 4 fights in 2011. Not only did he compete 4 times last year, he mixed a change of weight-class in between the two. Since being dominated by Rory MacDonald, Diaz has destroyed Takanori Gomi, Donald Cerrone and Jim Miller while raking in 2 “submission of the night” bonuses plus a “fight of the night” check as well.

(I’ll take “Injuries that make me reconsider my line of work” for a thousand, Alex.) 

Good morning, Potato Nation. As we’re all still nursing hangovers from this weekend’s festivities and trying to cope with the fact that there will be no more The Walking Dead until next fall, let’s start the day off with a bit of light reading.

Firstly, a math teacher from Ohio and a movie star from South Vietnam have been booked to throw down at UFC 148, which features the completion of the Dominick Cruz/Urijah Faber trilogy as its headliner, and goes down from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on June 7th.

What’s that, you say? Rich Franklin is also a movie star and Cung Le could probably teach math? Well, there’s no room for that kind of intolerance around here, especially not this early in the morning, so we suggest you pull your heads out of your collective asses. Besides, Rich Franklin is definitely not a movie star.

This will be Franklin’s first fight at middleweight since April of 2008, when he dispatched TUF 4 winner Travis Lutter via second round TKO back at UFC 83. In fact, it’s been a while since we’ve seen “Ace” in the octagon at all. After dropping a unanimous decision to Forrest Griffin at UFC 126, Franklin was expected to face Antonio Rogerio Nogueria at UFC 133. The bout was cancelled, however, after Nogueria suffered a last minute injury, and a subsequent shoulder injury forced Franklin into surgery in October.

Cung Le appeared to be destined for victory in his UFC debut match against Wanderlei Silva at UFC 139 last November, picking apart the former PRIDE middleweight champ with his patented arsenal of San Shou kicks throughout the first round. But as in his fight with Scott Smith at Strikeforce: Evolution, Le would snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, eating one knee too many in the second round and dropping his second career loss to “The Axe Murderer” in the second round of their co-headlining scrap. Also similar to the Smith fight would be the horrific nose injury that Le would walk away with.

In other fight booking news…

(For just three cents a day, you can help provide this child with everything he needs to earn a title shot.) 

You’ve got to understand Anthony “Showtime” Pettis‘ frustration. After winning the final WEC Lighweight Championship by defeating current UFC Lightweight Champion Ben “Smooth” Henderson back at WEC 53, many believed he would be on the short list of contenders to face then UFC Lightweight Champion Frankie Edgar. When Edgar fought to a draw with Gray Maynard less than a month after WEC 53, Pettis’ title hopes would be put on the backburner. A UD loss via dry humping and shoulder-strikes to Clay Guida at the TUF 13 Finale in June of 2011 would all but completely derail those championship aspirations.

Cut to February of 2012. After defeating Maynard via fourth round TKO in their rematch, Edgar would face off against arguably his toughest challenge to date, former WEC champion Ben Henderson, who was riding a four fight win streak since losing to Pettis. The event was UFC 144, and kicking off the main card would be an intriguing match-up between Pettis and Joe Lauzon. “Showtime” would live up to his nickname, steamrolling Lauzon with a head kick knockout in just under two minutes, and Henderson would clearly defeat Edgar by unanimous decision. Though Pettis had only scored two straight in the octagon, Dana was damn near forcing Edgar to drop to 145 and face Jose Aldo, so it seemed as if we were destined for Pettis/Henderson II.

But then, it happened. Out of nowhere, Edgar was granted a rematch with Henderson, and Pettis once again found himself screwed out of yet another title shot, against a man he had beaten in a title fight nonetheless. So perhaps the recent comments made by “Showtime’s” manager are not without merit. Here’s what Ariel Helwani said during an episode of UFC tonight after speaking with Pettis’ manager:

Perhaps it is appropriate that we are kicking off the disappointment and pent up frustration of another work week with none other than Bob Sapp, the most disappointing and utterly frustrating figure in the history of MMA. After landing his most devastating punch in his last ten fights career against Bill Mahood at Saturday’s weigh ins, Sapp’s headlining bout against James Thompson at Super Fight League 1 would end, go figure, in the abrupt, anticlimactic fashion of Sapp’s signature move, the Sapp Tapp, the Sappmission, or whatever variation of the term you prefer to use. Sapp has become so famous for quitting when the going gets tough that it appears Tiger Woods has adopted a similar strategy.

But, believe it or not, some fighters actually came to fight yesterday, and thankfully, the gents over at SFL have been nice enough to grant us a full playback of the event on their Youtube page. Check out the video above, and honor “The Beast” in Sappian fashion, by prematurely stopping it when the main event comes around.

Join us after the jump for some more great videos from around the MMA blogosphere, including an eight second KO that can only be described as “adorable,” a trailer for an upcoming documentary on Charles “Mask” Lewis, and more.

(Hey Donald, you let me know when you’re gonna stop armbarring me like my little sister. Sound good?) 

I did something terrible this morning, Potato Nation. After waking up with blood on my hands and a splitting hangover beneath an underpass I did not recognize, I was forced to stumble across five miles of snow covered wasteland, wearing only one shoe mind you, to make it home. I fired up my computer to find a video of newly crowned UFC lightweight champion Ben Henderson competing in the 7th Arizona Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu International Open awaiting my viewership. In need of a pick me up, I watched it, figuring that there was no way in hell my boy “Smooth” would be submitted by this Daniel Grippaudo sumbitch, because, let’s be honest, Henderson CANNOT be submitted. We all know the first round anaconda loss to Rocky Johnson that soils his record was made up to prevent 155-pound grapplers from committing mass suicide. There is no “Rocky Johnson.” There never was.

Anyway, after watching the video that awaits you all after the jump, I proceeded to run to the nearest elementary school, steal the microphone from the principal, and inform those listening to the morning announcements that Santa was in fact a lie. Do I feel bad about it? Surely, but the point I was trying to make is simple: give up hope. The boundaries of life are disintegrating before our very eyes. Nothing is real anymore; Santa, your parents, Jesus, none of it. If it turns out that the following video is not, as I suspect, a complete fabrication, then I hold these truths to be self-evident.

Watch at your own risk.

(Gentlemen, if you want to truly be considered the winner, we’re going to need to see a little more effort here.) 

Well, he must have called DW back. Whether you feel Frankie Edgar deserved it or not, it appears the former lightweight champion will be getting his rematch with Ben Henderson sometime this summer, as announced by UFC  President Dana White on his Twitter earlier this evening.

(One of these guys will likely get the winner of Showtime-Bendo II)

The UFC held a press conference in New York City today for the May 5 UFC on Fox 3 show, which we would have covered live, had they not rejected our credential application AGAIN. Thankfully we still have access to these things via YouTube.

Probably the most interesting tidbit to come out of the event was Dana White’s assertion that the winner of the Jim Miller-Nate Diaz bout would likely be the next in line for a title shot after Anthony Pettis.

It makes sense, even though Nate is only 2-0 in his current run as a lightweight and Jim lost his last bout against Ben Henderson. When you look at the fact that Diaz beat Melvin Guillard and Donald Cerrone as a lightweight, has only lost to Gray Maynard, Clay Guida and Joe Stevenson in the Octagon at 155 and he has never been finished and that prior to losing to the current champ, Miller had only ever been defeated by Frankie Edgar and Maynard, it makes sense.

Really, besides giving Edgar another shot — which he really should have to earn, considering he lost fair and square to Henderson — who else deserves a crack at the belt?

Tickets for the May 5 event, that takes place in New Jersey at the Izod Center, go on sale tomorrow.

Check out the full vid of the presser after the jump.

(What transpired that day on Laguna Beach would forever change DW’s outlook on his usage of the F-word. No, the other F-word.) 

UFC President Dana White recently sat down with Spencer Lazara among others for a brief interview, and among the topics to come up was that of a possible Frankie Edgar/Ben Henderson rematch. Edgar, who lost his belt to Henderson at UFC 144, has been bombarding White with talks of a rematch since losing the belt, despite the fact that Dana has outwardly stated a desire for Edgar to drop to 145 and face Jose Aldo. When asked if there was any update on the rematch, DW had the following to say:

No, not yet. Frankie Edgar’s manager has been blowing me up for the last two days. I know he flew to Las Vegas and met with Lorenzo. They thought I was going to be there too, but I’m not. Frankie owes me a phone call. I called Frankie again yesterday and he didn’t answer so we’ll see what happens.

When asked if Dana was growing discouraged with Edgar’s persistence, White was quick to commend the former champ:

Frankie Edgar has given every guy a rematch that we said deserved a rematch. Again, my only beef is, with him being at a higher weight class, you have these decisions that are so narrow that people are on both sides of the fence. I’d rather see him at 145.

I mean, look at these guys at 125. Benavidez said it tonight, he said, ‘Listen, I used to crack guys at 135 pounds, and it was tough to put them away at that bigger weight class.’ What do you think Frankie Edgar’s going to do? Everybody thinks there’s no competition for Jose Aldo. I disagree…and I’d like to see [Edgar] go there. 

Join us after the jump for the full video, which includes White’s thoughts on TUF 15′s Dakota Cochrane.

(All videos courtesy of mfight.) 

After capturing the lightweight title at UFC 144 last Saturday in Japan, Benson “Smooth” Henderson swung over to South Korea along with his mother, where he received a hero’s welcome reminiscent of the glorious ending to Star Fox 64. Sure, it wasn’t quite as grandiose as the trumpet blaring fiesta Junior Dos Santos received in Brazil, but one can only show so much enthusiasm when guards armed with semi-automatic rifles stand just a few feet away.

As you may or may not know, Henderson’s mother is Korean, making Benson the second Korean blooded UFC champion in the promotion’s history (B.J. Penn being the first).

Join us after the jump for more musings from the land of Oldboy, including a heartwarming video of Benson and his mother, and a horrifying look at a group of 6-15 year old children who could whoop all our asses. 

(Video courtesy of YouTube/CircaSeventyNine)

Back in 2008 Benson Henderson was looking to take his career to the next level. Coming off of a dominant win over Diego Saraiva, the 7-1 lightweight decided that the best way to the big stage was to try out for The Ultimate Fighter 9: United States vs. United Kingdom. He fell short in his bid to be on the show, (either that or UFC matchmaker Joe Silva had other plans for him), but was instead given a chance in the UFC’s feeder league, the WEC, where he fought three months prior to and the same month that the show began filming.

(They’re both dangerous on the mat and on their feet. They’re both impossible to finish. But hell will freeze over before they both wear suits on the same day. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this gallery, click here.)

Konichiwa, bitches, and welcome to our liveblog presentation of the UFC 144 pay-per-view card. We’ve got seven more fights to go at the Saitama Super Arena in Japan, leading up to the headlining lightweight title bout between Frankie Edgar and Ben Henderson. Along the way, Anthony “Showtime” Pettis will try to invent a new kick against Joe Lauzon, Yoshihiro Akiyama makes his last sexy stand against Jake Shields, and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson defends his old PRIDE turf against Ryan Bader.

Handling play-by-play for this leg of our journey is Anthony Gannon, who will be throwin’ down results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let your voice be heard in the comments section. As was predicted in the ancient fart scrolls, this is gonna be one hell of a night.

“Where I come from, fighters who question my motivation get smacked.” (Video: YouTube/FuelTV)

The good news is that all of tonight’s fighters will throw down as expected, but that doesn’t mean it was smooth sailing for everyone stepping on the scales last night.

Under the guise of laughter, Rampage had refused to disclose his weight in Dana’s second video blog, but as we’ve learned time and time again it’s all fun and games until someone misses weight. Jackson tipped the scales at 211lbs, missing the Light Heavyweight cap by five pounds. In a post-weigh-in interview with Ariel Helwani, Rampage cited an unspecified injury in training camp as the reason he failed to make weight. Despite a doctor’s recommendation to withdraw from the bout, he pushed through camp and managed to cut 21-pounds but was unable to shed the last five.

Though he had no harsh words for his opponent, Ryan Bader, Rampage did take the time to lash out at Rich Franklin. The former Middleweight Champ commentated the proceedings for Fuel TV and questioned Jackson’s professionalism as well as whether or not he’d taken his training camp seriously. Understandably, Rampage, who has proven increasingly impatient with his critics, took umbrage to those assertions. In addition to losing the esteem of some of his colleagues, Jackson will forfeit 20% of his purse to his opponent.

After the jump, Bader’s reaction to Rampage’s weigh-in snafu, up-close videos of the Rampage-Bader and Edgar-Henderson face-offs, and full results from the scales.

This Saturday will mark the UFC’s triumphant return to Japan for the first time in 11 years, and what a card we have in store. Aside from Frankie Edgar fighting someone not named B.J. Penn or Gray Maynard (not that we were complaining), UFC 144 also offers a light heayweight sure to be slugfest between Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Ryan Bader, Yoshihiro Akiyama’s welterweight debut against Jake Shields, and Mark Hunt vs. Cheick Kongo.

The seven fight main card will be kicked off by a battle of top lightweight contenders when Joe Lauzon takes on Anthony Pettis, and the undercard features the the likes of Takanori Gomi and former K1 standout Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto, each attempting to rebound from recent losses. It’s safe to say that we are in for a hell of a night, so let’s all go get Henna tattoos to celebrate this glorious milestone.

Check out the pre-fight press conference video above, which, aside from the occasional translation flub, goes off without a hitch. Just a warning: due to the fact that everything is being translated into Japanese as it is being said, it is difficult to understand the questions at hand every so often. But honestly, who gives a shit? THE UFC IS BACK IN JAPAN, BABY!!!

While we’re discussing how awesome Japan is, join us after the jump for the anime-style trailer for UFC 144, which is easily the coolest thing you will see all day, and possible ever.

(In the main event, actor Ryan Reynolds defends his belt against a 100% Asian version of Ben Henderson. Plus, Rampage Jackson faces off against a prime Wes Sims. The referee for this evening will be Dan Miragliotta.)

The UFC’s return to Japan this weekend features plenty of attractive opportunities to earn money without working for it. So where do the edges lie? How much better will the UFC’s Japanese stars look on their home turf? And should you really be betting money with tax season coming up? (Just kidding, that one was a trick question.) Complete UFC 144: Edgar vs. Henderson odds are below, via BestFightOdds, followed by our occasionally-helpful betting advice. Check it out, and be sure to come back to CagePotato Saturday night for our liveblog of the fights, starting with the FX prelims broadcast at 8 p.m. ET.

MAIN CARD
Frankie Edgar (-125) vs. Ben Henderson (+115)
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (-237) vs. Ryan Bader (+220)
Cheick Kongo (-270) vs. Mark Hunt (+270)
Jake Shields (-300) vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama (+269)
Yushin Okami (-331) vs. Tim Boetsch (+300)
Hatsu Hioki (-167) vs. Bart Palaszewski (+155)
Anthony Pettis (-220) vs. Joe Lauzon (+220)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FX)
Takanori Gomi (-200) vs. Eiji Mitsuoka (+175)
Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto (-288) vs. Vaughan Lee (+275)
Riki Fukuda (-300) vs. Steve Cantwell (+258)
Takeya Mizugaki (-200) vs. Chris Cariaso (+172)

PRELIMINARY BOUT (Facebook)
Tiequan Zhang (-250) vs. Issei Tamura (+250)

(The toothpick, the facial stubble, the long hair — I think it’s obvious what look Bendo is going for here.)

UFC 144‘s lightweight title headliner between Frankie Edgar and Ben Henderson smells like an instant classic — the kind of bell-to-bell, all-over-the-cage firefight that has made both men into stars. So who’s going home with the belt on Saturday night? Check out some of our favorite animated GIFs featuring both fighters, and let us know what you think…

(Bas Rutten‘s infamous Swedish bar-fight story gets animated, via klawiterstudios)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- Takanori Gomi Thinks UFC 144 Will Help Reignite Japanese MMA (MMA Fighting)

- Bart Palaszewski: First Hatsu Hioki, Then Jose Aldo (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Benson Henderson Focused on Frankie Edgar, but Has Anthony Pettis in Sight (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson Will Have Special Cheering Section at UFC 144 (5th Round)

- UFC’s Sean Loeffler Recounts Wild Redneck MMA Fight From the Early Days of His Career (MMA Mania)

- Fighters Sound Off on the Enigma That Is Nick Diaz (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Japanese MMA Scene Primer: The Shooto Edition (MMA Convert)

- Five Questions to Look at Heading Into the UFC Japan 2012 Event (Fight Opinion)

- Shannon Lee Talks “I Am Bruce Lee” Documentary (The Fight Nerd)

- Jacob Volkmann-Paul Sass Planned For UFC 146 (FightLine)

- The Joe Lozito Story (MiddleEasy)

- Can Boxing Make a Comeback? (MMA Payout)

(Video courtesy of Sapo/IronForgesIron)

If you weren’t excited about the next major Zuffa show on February 25 before, this 10-minute extended preview should get you pumped for the first UFC show in Japan in more than 10 years.

You know the card for UFC 144 is good when Yushin Okami, “Kid” Yamamoto and Hatsu Hioki are on the prelims. The card is stacked. Edgar versus Bendo will be a fast-paced chess match, Rampage versus Bader should be a slugfest, Hunt versus Kongo will be a K-1 bout in a cage and Pettis versus Lauzon is an interesting clash of styles. What’s not to like about this event?

(It is a little known myth that if you tickle a Shrexican behind the ear, he will fall under your spell forever.)

The California State Athletic Commission released the official fighter salaries for UFC on FOX earlier today, and if you were a follower of June White’s theory that Dana sold his soul to the Devil for the Fox deal, then this is all the evidence you’ll need. The total (disclosed) fighter payroll came out to exactly $666,000. The proof is in the pudding, folks. Start drafting up your PowerPoint conspiracy reports now.

Snatching up nearly half of that payroll, newly crowned heavyweight champ Junior Dos Santos not only walked away with the gold and the glory, but the cash and the girl (Props, Boo) as well. Earning 3,437 dollars per second, Dos Santos collected a $220,000 paycheck that took less effort than a supporting role in an animated kids movie.

The only other fighter even close to Dos Santos in terms of salary was that of his victim, Cain Velasquez, who took home an even $100,000 for his efforts. Check out the full salary list below. Keep in mind, these figures are void of any locker room bonuses, fight bonuses, sponsorships, or any other nonsense.

Well, we didn’t have a correct answer for the UFC on Fox Fight-Picking Contest, but we had several close ones.

Unfortunately we only have one prize, so the closest answer gets “Heart,” the cool MMA-themed comic-book mini-series by writer Blair Butler and artist Kevin Mellon.

By Jason Moles

As ESPN’s Bill Simmons tweeted, the UFC lost its network virginity to FOX and it was over in a matter of seconds – just like real life. Similarly, for most of you, there seemed to be that same awkward feeling afterwards where you’re not sure if should zip up and head home to catch Sports Center or if she expects you to spoon with her until the early morning light reveals what she looks like when you’re sober. Regardless of what decision is made you can be certain that from this moment forth, life will never be the same. Ever.

It’s done – over. You can’t change anything even if you wanted to, like what you screamed as the finish came about. This is probably in your best interest seeing as how you’ll need money if you want her to stay around, at least more money than you currently have. Women love when you shower them with tokens of your affection so you should really pay attention to this next part. So crack open that portfolio and let’s play another round of ‘Buy, Sell, Hold’ in the MMA Stock Market.

Junior dos Santos – Buy it like they’re giving it away for free.

“Cigano” defeated the previously unbeaten UFC heavyweight in one minute and four seconds to capture the belt – with a torn meniscus. With only sixty-four seconds to analyze, it is hard to point out anything we didn’t already know like getting hit by JDS may be hazardous to your health. Any way you want to slice it, it all turns out the same; dos Santos is here to stay.

          When you see it…                                   PicProps: MMAJunkie.com 

Alright Nation, we are on the brink of what is possibly the most important event in human history since ever.  We stress the word “possibly” in that sentence, so no silly hate mail about Steve Guttenberg inventing the bench press, or whatever.  And please, don’t talk to us about the historic impact of the so-called “moon landing”.  Everyone knows that the whole Apollo mission was filmed on a sound stage in Arizona.

This historic event will be broadcast live on a major network to a bajillion people, so it’s not even really a contest.  Two large men will fight for money and everyone and their Nana can watch; if Jesus shows up tonight in a tuxedo t-shirt we wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.  It’s such a huge deal that the UFC is basically giving Fox just the tip to see how it feels, airing just one fight off of a pretty sweet ten-fight lineup.

Come around and hang out with us for all the fights, because you know we’re going to have you covered, Nation.  Fights start at 4:45ET on Facebook and FoxSports.com, the big-deal television show kicks off at 9ET.

Oh, and hit “Refresh” frequently, since everyone seems to tell people to do that.

[RX]

(Fun fact: Clay Guida has never owned a single piece of silverware.)

According to a new report from MMA Junkie, the UFC plans to give the winner of tomorrow night’s UFC on FOX bout between Clay Guida and Ben Henderson a title shot against lightweight champion Frankie Edgar. Sources indicate that the fight would likely take place at UFC 144 (February 26; Saitama, Japan).

Unfortunately, Guida vs. Henderson won’t be part of the “Velasquez vs. Dos Santos” TV broadcast — which kicks off at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT on FOX — but viewers can watch it as part of the undercard stream on Facebook and FOXSports.com. Currently, Henderson (-250) is a strong favorite over Guida (+236).

Last Wednesday marked the official debut of Heart, a comic-book miniseries by writer Blair Butler and artist Kevin Mellon that follows an aimless office drone’s quest to discover his life’s purpose through MMA. I read the first issue last weekend and thought it was a great story, and another positive representation of the sport in entertainment culture. (See also: Warrior, Tiki Ghosn’s appearance on Blind Date.) So pick it up on your next trip to the comic shop, okay?

The four-issue series will be released monthly through February — and we can hook one of you up with the whole thing. To get it, you’ll have to accurately predict the results of UFC on FOX‘s featured fight this Saturday (heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez vs. #1 contender Junior Dos Santos), as well as the lightweight clash between Clay Guida and Ben Henderson that will be closing out the Facebook prelims. Submit your predictions for these two fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage, if any. Your entry should be in this format:

(How far can the amped-up UFC star take his current hot-streak? Photo via Heavy)

By Elias Cepeda

If you were Clay Guida, you might be a little pissed off right now. In June, Guida was matched up with then-#1 UFC lightweight title contender and reigning WEC champion Anthony Pettis. Despite beating Pettis and picking up his fourth consecutive UFC victory, the Carpenter didn’t earn a title shot. Instead, he wound up with a bout against the man Pettis beat for the WEC belt, Ben Henderson.

Guida vs. Henderson was booked for a spot on the historic November 12th card that would be televised on FOX, promising a tremendous amount of exposure. Then, Guida learned that FOX would only be televising the card’s main event — Cain Velasquez vs. Junior Dos Santos for the heavyweight belt. And now, UFC President Dana White has not even guaranteed that the winner of Henderson (who last defeated Jim Miller) vs. Guida will be the next challenger for lightweight champ Frankie Edgar.

The past year appeared to be an emotional roller coaster for Guida, one perhaps capable of distracting him from his tasks at hand. Or…not.

“That stuff doesn’t bother me for a second,” Guida says. “Emotional roller coasters are for little girls playing soccer. If anything, those things just help me focus more.”

Too late to suck up now, Brock. You’ll have to settle for PPV. (Pic Props: Sherdog forums)

Perhaps the only draw back to the UFC’s debut on FOX will be the lack of fights actually making it to the air. Zuffa’s new broadcast partners have opted to place all of their eggs into one oversized basket in the form of the heavyweight title bout between Cain Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos. But good news is here for those who speak Spanish or simply don’t care what’s coming through their television speakers: two undercard bouts will be airing live on FOX Deportes.

The featherweight scrap between Dustin Poirier and Pablo Garza as well as the Clay Guida-Ben Henderson lightweight bout—which could potentially crown the number one contender at 155 lbs.—will serve as the lead-in to the main event on the Spanish sports channel.

(Bendo” and “The Carpenter” will be appearing alongside in Encino Man 2: The Encino Twins.)

UFC officials announced a pair of fight bookings for it’s November 12 Fox premier show overnight.

According to a posting on UFC.com, former WEC lightweight champion Ben Henderson (14-2) will take on Clay Guida (29-8) in a 155-pound affair and top Japanese bantamweight Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto (18-4, 1 NC) will square off against Strikeforce and Shooto veteran Darren Uyenoyama (6-3) in 135-pound action on the card.

Although neither fight will be shown during the one-hour broadcast which will feature only one bout — a heavyweight title fight between Cain Velasquez and Junior dos Santos — UFC president Dana White mentioned last week that they are looking at options to ensure fans can watch the entire card.

Full betting lines for this Sunday’s UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle event have been released, which means it’s time to steal some money from your old lady’s purse and tell her you’re going for a walk. And if you follow our gambling advice very carefully, you’ll be able to return the cash before she notices and earn some extra cigarette-money in the process. (Ed. note: You’ll probably lose everything like usual. Are things ever going to change with you, Jim?) Check out the juiciest lines, via bestfightodds.com:

Main Card (Versus, 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT)
Chris Lytle (-107) vs. Dan Hardy (even)
Jim Miller (-145) vs. Ben Henderson (+145)
Charles Oliveira (-130) vs. Donald Cerrone (+130)
Amir Sadollah (-310) vs. Duane Ludwig (+273)

Preliminary Card (Facebook.com, 5:45 p.m. ET / 2:45 p.m. PT)
C.B. Dollaway (-250) vs. Jared Hamman (+222)
Joseph Benavidez (-231) vs. Eddie Wineland (+225)
Kyle Noke (-144) vs. Ed Herman (+145)
Karlos Vemola (-210) vs. Ronny Markes (+201)
Jimy Hettes (-350) vs. Alex Caceres (+313)
Cole Miller (-387) vs. T.J. O’Brien (+335)
Danny Castillo (-118) vs. Jacob Volkmann (+107)
Edwin Figueroa (-300) vs. Jason Reinhardt (+288)

Let’s get that money…

Don’t drink and:  drive, dial, text, facebook, or photoshop. -Anonymous

Let’s face it, Nation.  The lightweight field in the UFC  is a hopeless clusterfoxtrot.  Half of the names in the top ten last summer are either not at 155 anymore, or suddenly non-factors.  Six months ago, the WEC-UFC roster merger was supposed to clear up, once and for all, who the best fighters were.

Well….

The UFC title fight between Gray Maynard and champ Frankie Edgar was supposed to coincide nicely with the WEC’s own lightweight title fight at the December 16th event, the last by the promotion.  Anthony “Showtime Kick” Pettis defeated champion Ben Henderson by a close (but stupifyingly impressive) decision, something you would assume gives Henderson some legitimate claim to a title shot, or at least a number to get in line.

Two weeks later, Gray Maynard and Frankie Edgar go have themselves a fun little match in which they both manage to kick the other’s ass, but nobody wins.  Seriously, it’s a draw.

(Bendo: Prepared for takeoff.)

According to some misguided crazy people, the world is going to end tomorrow. Apparently, May 21st, 2011 is the scheduled date of the Rapture, in which Christians will be shuttled off into the air to meet Christ, while the sinners will be left behind, leading to Armageddon or something. (For more information, consult this Kirk Cameron movie). If the rumors are true, we’re all pretty much fucked. Still, there’s a few MMA fighters who will be getting the sweet end of the deal. For instance…

BEN HENDERSON
The lightweight standout is one of the more vocal supporters of his Lord and Savior in the cage, shouting out Philippians 4:13 after every win. He makes his fight entrances to gospel music, and has never touched alcohol. Whatever bad stuff goes down tomorrow, he won’t be around for it. He’ll be in mid-air, doing that pyramid thing with his hands.

CHAEL SONNEN

Stripped of his real estate and fighting licenses, Sonnen was just sentenced to a year of roaming the earth with no income, trying to “promote goodwill” and show that he’s rehabilitated. A swift, violent end would probably be an upgrade at this point.

(Jim Miller viciously gnaws on Mac Danzig’s nipple at UFC 100.)

Following his seventh-straight Octagon victory — a third-round TKO over Kamal Shalorus at UFC 128 — Jim Miller will continue his arduous climb up the lightweight ladder at UFC on Versus 5 (August 14th, Milwaukee), where he’ll meet former WEC champ Ben Henderson. Henderson had his Octagon debut last month at UFC 129, scoring a unanimous decision victory over Mark Bocek, which helped wash away some of the shame from being one of MMA’s all-time greatest highlight-reel victims.

Fun fact: No fighter in the UFC has ever won eight fights in a row without earning a title shot. That would be an encouraging statistic for Miller, but the lightweight division is so clogged at the top right now — especially considering the delayed rematch between Edgar and Maynard, and Anthony Pettis being set up for a title shot if he beats Clay Guida in June — that Miller might have to keep winning for another full year before he gets the call.