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Six Other Seth Rogen/James Franco Films That Should’ve Been Canceled

Tag: betting

Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 97


(After he was so excited about finally meeting Kevin Federline, Chuck was extremely disappointed to find out that K-Fed had a better picture pose than he did.)

The Gambling Addiction Enabler had a somewhat rough go at Strikeforce thanks to Frank Shamrock deciding to go ahead and get old out of nowhere (okay fine, in retrospect, probably should have seen that one coming), but he managed to cut his losses by picking Scott Smith to pull off the minor upset against Benji Radach.  With underdogs proving profitable, maybe your favorite compulsive gambler will have to take a long look at some of the major ones on the UFC 97 lineup.  Maybe put down a big bet on a certain middleweight challenger who nobody thinks has a chance in hell…

Odds today come from BestFightOdds.com:

Anderson Silva (-500) vs. Thales Leites (+456)
"Shogun" Rua (+170) vs. Chuck Liddell (-172)
Brian Stann (+151) vs. Krzysztof Soszynski (-150)
Nate Quarry (+110) vs. Jason MacDonald (-110)
David Loiseau (-112) vs. Ed Herman (+110)
David Bielkheden (+240) vs. Mark Bocek (-255)
Antoni Hardonk (+275) vs. Cheick Kongo (-261)
Steve Cantwell (+265) vs. Luis Cane (-275)
Eliot Marshall (+120) vs. Vinny Magalhaes (-150)
Xavier Fouka-Pokam (+300) vs. Denis Kang (-300)
T.J. Grant (+177) vs. Ryo Chonan (-187)
Sam Stout (-125) vs. Matt Wiman (+120)

Best bets…

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: Strikeforce – Shamrock vs. Diaz

Frank Shamrock
(‘Look what I found in the dumpster behind Jake Shields’ apartment!  Honestly, the things some people throw away.’)

The Gambling Addiction Enabler isn’t going to jerk your chain here, after last week’s dismal performance he considered giving it up.  He went to a couple meetings, listened to those quitters down at Gambler’s Anonymous whining about the houses and cars and marriages they’d lost because of their compulsive betting.  He even thought about taking up a less destructive hobby, like tennis or pornography. 

Then he thought about you, the members of the Potato Nation who depend on him for his reckless and often unsound gambling advice, and who live vicariously through his wins and his losses.  Dear readers, he decided he simply couldn’t let you down.  That’s how much he cares about you/is willing to use you as a justification.  And besides, if his wife really loved him she wouldn’t ask him to change, right?

Odds for the main card of this weekend’s Strikeforce event come courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Frank Shamrock (-165) vs. Nick Diaz (+145)
Benji Radach (-165) vs. Scott Smith (+145)
Gilbert Melendez (-315) vs. Rodrigo Damm (+275)
“Cyborg” Santos (-455) vs. Hitomi Akano (+375)
Brett Rogers (-440) vs. Abongo Humphrey (+360)

Thoughts…

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Betting Post-Mortem: WEC 40

Ben Henderson WEC
(Do you have to be so smug about my misfortune, Henderson? Photo courtesy WEC.tv)

Potato Nation, let me level with you here.  The old Gambling Addiction Enabler had himself one hell of a bad night on Sunday.  As in, he has spent all day talking himself out of cutting his wrists with shards of the beer bottle he smashed against the wall just after Jeff Curran lost.  The fact that this horrible gambling outing came after his great success at UFC Fight Night 18, that just makes it hurt so much more.  The highs are high indeed, and the lows so miserably low.  The Snoop Dogg posters I bought with my UFC 96 winnings, they mock me even as I write these words.  

On to the sad particulars, and let’s see if we can’t learn from this disaster.

The Bet: $20 on Shane Roller
The Result: Lost, due to possibly bullshit stoppage
Thoughts: I refuse to beat myself up for this bet.  Roller had Henderson hurt early and nearly finished him with a guillotine.  Alas, it wasn’t to be.  I have to admit, this fight does make me rethink my betting philosophy for WEC events.  When two relatively inexperienced guys both drop each other within the first two minutes of the fight, picking the winner is basically a crapshoot.  Lesson learned?

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: WEC 40


(Hold on, guys. I don’t know how to say this, but it seems like one of you is really embracing your character here and one you, cough*Miguel*cough, is still holding back. Let’s try it again, with some feeling this time.)

Fresh off a profitable UFC Fight Night 18, the Gambling Addiction Enabler is ready to throw all his winnings away on Sunday night’s WEC event and then fall into a deep depression that leads to him holding up a liquor store just to get gambling money for next week’s Strikeforce event.  Yes, that might sound a little too detailed, but if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.

Odds, come today from BestFightOdds.com:


Miguel Torres (-600) vs. Takeya Mizugaki (+450)
Ben Henderson (+120) vs. Shane Roller (-150)
Jeff Curran (-130) vs. Joseph Benavidez (even)
Fredson Paixao (+275) vs. Wagnney Fabiano (-345)
Akitoshi Tamura (+130) vs. Manny Tapia (-160)
Jameel Massough (+275) vs. Rafael Assuncao (-345)
Dominick Cruz (-450) vs. Ivan Lopez (+370)
Eddie Wineland (+240) vs. Rani Yahya (-300)
Anthony Njokuani (+135) vs. Bart Palaszewski (-165)
Mike Budnik (+250) vs. Rafael Dias (-310)

Thoughts…

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UFC Fight Night 18: Betting Post-Mortem


(This is the point where I may have uttered, ‘Oh no.’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

It was not a bad night for the Gambling Addiction Enabler.  If not for Jorge Rivera pulling out a decision victory over Nissen Osterneck, it would have been absolutely perfect.  Alas, it wasn’t to be, though I can’t really complain.

The Bet: $20 on Martin Kampmann at -120
The Result: Won $16.67
Thoughts: I’ll admit it, when it came time for the judges’ decision to be announced and I heard the phrase “Judge Cecil Peoples scores the bout…” I was prepared to see my money go swirling down the drain.  Thankfully there were two sane men at Octagonside, so justice prevailed.  And like Thomas Jefferson said, “The best brand of justice is that which pays cash money, dog.”

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC Fight Night 18


(You didn’t think Martin Kampmann’s eyebrows always looked so perfect by accident, did you?)

When last we left the Gambling Addiction Enabler, a mathematical error had left him mistakenly believing that he suffered a net loss at UFC 96 rather than a gain of $30.  So now that he’s realized his error, you might be wondering, does that mean he has an extra thirty bones to throw around at UFC Fight Night 18?  Sadly, no.  That event was several weeks ago, so he’s already spent the money on a bunch of Snoop Dogg posters from Hot Topic.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that his home office now looks straight-up gangsta.

But tomorrow night is a brand new opportunity to turn MMA knowledge and a taste for reckless financial risk into cold hard cash.  Here are the best lines on the internet, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Carlos Condit (+102) vs. Martin Kampmann (-110)
Ryan Bader (-400) vs. Carmelo Marrero (+360)
Tyson Griffin (-385) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (+355)
Junie Browning (+120) vs. Cole Miller (-125)
Gleison Tibau (-145) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+145)
Ricardo Almeida (-275) vs. Matt Horwich (+245)
Brock Larson (-450) vs. Jesse Sanders (+400)
Tim Credeur (-117) vs. Nick Catone (+110)
Jorge Rivera (-135) vs. Nissen Osterneck (+140)
Rob Kimmons (-255) vs. Joe Vedepo (+230)
Tim McKenzie (+145) vs. Aaron Simpson (-167)
Steve Steinbeiss (+165) vs. Ryan Jensen (-195)

Thoughts…

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Betting Post-Mortem: UFC 96


(Well, this sure didn’t help.  Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

After my meager success at WEC 39, I decided to up my wagers just a little with the hopes of getting my profits into double digits following UFC 96.  The results were…mixed.  Here’s how I did, in case you’re keeping score of my finances at home.

Bet: $50 on Shane Carwin at +140
Result: Won $70 profit
What I Learned: Plenty of you told me I was crazy for betting on a guy who was undefeated against bunch of scrubs.  One of you even claimed Gabriel Gonzaga would have beat Randy Couture if not for a headbutt.  But I went with my gut and profited.  So there.  Who’s the jackass now?  You are.  You’re the jackass.  I’m the guy with an extra seventy bucks in my pocket.  I’ll be at the strip club if you need me.

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Betting Post-Mortem: WEC 39


(There’s my boy.  Photo courtesy of WEC.tv)

As some of you have noted in the comments to our Gambling Addiction Enabler series, following our betting advice seems likely to lead to financial ruin.  Weird, I know.  It’s almost as if you shouldn’t make financial decisions based on what you read for free on the internet while you’re supposed to be working.

But in an effort to bring accountability and transparency to the Gambling Addiction Enabler, here’s how I did following my own advice for WEC 39.

The Bet: $20 on Mike Brown at -185 (BetUs.com)
The Outcome: Won a cool $10.81 (plus, you know, my original twenty back). 
What I Learned:
Yes, I know I’m betting small here but it’s the WEC, which is basically the dog track of MMA.  You don’t want to blow hundreds of dollars on some greyhounds that will be euthanized four months from now, so to speak.  (To really lose your ass, you go to Santa Anita.  Which for the purposes of this ill-fated analogy, is the UFC.)  My faith in Brownie paid off here, albeit in meager fashion.  But I’m building my gambling fortune empire and like they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.  It also wasn’t built on twenty-dollar bets on guys who were favored at almost 2-1, but I’m conveniently ignoring that fact in order to savor this win.

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: WEC 39


(Mike Brown prays to Krom for victory.  But if Krom does not help, then to hell with him, Brown will do it himself.)

You may have forgotten all about WEC 39 on Sunday night, such is your excitement for our party with Fight! Magazine in Columbus, Ohio, but we remembered because someone has to keep things in order around here.  In case you’re not content just watching a night of free fights on Versus, we’ll also help you throw away your money betting on them.  Because that’s how little we care about your welfare and happiness.

Here are the sweetest lines out there, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Mike Brown (-165) vs. Leonard Garcia (+160)
Marcus Hicks (+134) vs. Rob McCullough (-144)
John Franchi (-118) vs. Mike Budnik (+108)
Johny Hendricks (-312) vs. Alex Serdyukov (+300)
Chris Mickle (+700) vs. Jose Aldo (-850)
Damacio Page (-140) vs. Marcus Galvao (+130)
Alex Karalexis (-175) vs. Greg McIntyre (+165)
Phil Cardella (+151) vs. Danny Castillo (-160)
Rafael Rebello (even) vs. Kenji Osawa (-110)
Justin Haskins (+180) vs. Mike Pierce (-193)
Bart Palaszewski (-272) vs. Ricardo Lamas (+260)

Thoughts…

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 95


(You call that a mean face?  Shiiieeeet.)

Betting odds are out for this Saturday’s UFC event on Spike TV, which we’ll be liveblogging as usual.  If you’ve still got the disposable cash and the devil-may-care attitude necessary for online gambling in this bleak economic climate, allow us to steer you in the right direction for this one.  

The juiciest lines on the internets come to us courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Joe Stevenson (+281) vs. Diego Sanchez (-295)
Dan Hardy (even) vs. Rory Markham (-108)
Nate Marquardt (-258) vs. Wilson Gouveia (+250)
Demian Maia (-256) vs. Chael Sonnen (+236)
Josh Koscheck (-450) vs. Paulo Thiago (+450)
Terry Etim (-220) vs. Brian Cobb (+205)
Junior Dos Santos (-260) vs. Stefan Struve (+240)
Mike Ciesnolevicz (-115) vs. Neil Grove (-105)
Per Eklund (-160) vs. Evan Dunham (+140)
Paul Kelly (-290) vs. Troy Mandaloniz (+290)

Thoughts…

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