30 Sep 2014 14:07:33 PM
(Alas, Kennedy was *so* close to having his There Will Be Blood moment. Photo via Getty.)
True story: After being forced to reign in my gambling habit (and temporarily flee the state) due to a particularly tough beat in the Dolphins-Pats game, I sheepishly made another go of it for UFC 178 last weekend, placing a harmless 100 dollar bet on an Ebersole-Masvidal-Zingano-Kennedy parlay. If all went according to plan, the bet would have netted me around $990, a.k.a enough to stop Hairy Mike and that bug-eyed goon Roscoe from throwing me out of another speeding car. (It’s the lack of respect that hurts the most. That and the road rash.)
At the end of the second round between Kennedy and Romero, I was never more sure that I would avoid another unfortunate roadside beatdown. Though I was bound to a chair with a gasoline-soaked rag stuffed in my mouth, confidence was flowing through every fabric of my being. “Mff iff i d,” I mumbled aloud, which is rag-speak for “This is my day.” When the allotted 60-second break between rounds had passed and Romero was still slunken on his stool, I came as close to jumping for joy as my constraints would allow. How could the fight *not* be over? Romero was out on his
feet ass and Kennedy has already begun celebrating! Surely my moment of validation was at hand!
You could imagine my surprise when Big John McCarthy — he of MMA lore and Marvin Gaye lyric-stealing fame — not only *didn’t* call the fight right then and there, but actually allowed Romero to continue. The utter madness! In any case, the third round started, Romero channeled what I can only assume was voodoo strength, and the next thing I know, I’m being pushed out the back of an F-150 onto a crowded interstate highway. Life’s not fair sometimes.
The only person arguably more pissed at the controversial turn of events than myself was Tim Kennedy, who engaged in a heated debate with Romero’s corner backstage before filing an official appeal of the decision. Never one to shy away from telling it like it is, Kennedy appeared on The MMA Hour yesterday to air his grievances with what has since been dubbed “stoolgate” and took primary aim at none other than Big John himself.