“I have no problem with you competing like this, but first you’re going to have to trim those bangs.”

There’s nothing funny about the ‘Injury Curse‘ that’s been pillaging the UFC 149 card of talent, and for once our piss-poor writing isn’t to blame. Last night Sherdog.com broke the news (and what was left of our hearts) that Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira has not fully recovered from the broken arm he suffered courtesy of a Frank Mir kimura back at UFC 140.

Some might say it was wishful thinking when we prematurely celebrated how quickly “Minotauro” was healing; others might say it was a slow news day and that a short video helped fill the void. Either way, Dr. Frankenstein is running low on corpses and won’t be able to swap out Big Nog’s arm in time for his July 21^st duel with the rule breaking hard hitting Cheick Kongo.

Details on Kongo’s opponent and how this card stacks up in the ‘Injury Card Hall Of Fame’ after the jump.

(If you never saw the thread on Sherdog, do yourself a favor…)

It’s been an eventful week to say the least. Strikeforce Heavyweights are all but done, Overeem went before the NSAC, and Jon Jones choked Machida out cold. Too bad you didn’t ask us any questions about those things. That would have been cool. You did manage to pull some decent questions out of your asses, however, and we’ll take a few moments to address them now.

EnemyofReality asks: Dear, dear, Dear, DEAR Cage Potato. How I look forward to your wise words. Do tell me, what would your top 3 list of MMA refs look like?

It would like a lot like any other list, EnemyofReality, only it would have referee names instead of groceries, chores, and people to kill.

We actually covered this subject a couple of years ago, but times change and you’re asking now, so here we go. There are a lot of refs to choose from, but not necessarily a lot of great refs to choose from. If we were climbing into the cage—and we’re starting to warm up to the idea–we’d like to have Herb Dean, Big John McCarthy, or Josh Rosenthal in there to save our ass.

(The only less popular piece of gold in MMA is Kimbo’s licensed signature fist necklace.)

Considering that every one of the six men who has worn it since this day three years ago has fallen to illness or injury, the UFC heavyweight belt could soon become the least desired trophy in sports.

The latest victim of the ill-fated gilded strap is Junior dos Santos, who went into his UFC on Fox heavyweight title bout with Cain Velasquez with a torn meniscus which will probably require surgery and an extended recovery time, making his first title defense unlikely until the second half of 2012. Somebody needs to bring the belt to a priest and have him perform an exorcism on it. Otherwise, we may only see one heavyweight title bout per year.

Check out the breakdown of the unlucky timeline of the cursed hunk of leather and gold after the jump.

(Like two little Fonzies. Photo via CombatLifestyle)

Coming off his redemptive knockout of Brendan Schaub at UFC 134, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira‘s next fight will give him a chance to settle an old score. The UFC announced yesterday that Big Nog will rematch Frank Mir at UFC 140, December 10th in Toronto.

The two heavyweights first met at UFC 92 in December 2008 following a shared stint on TUF 8. Despite coming in as a 3-1 underdog, Mir shocked fans by outstriking Nogueira en route to a second-round TKO. Then, Nogueira pee-peed on Mir’s parade by revealing that he was fighting with a staph infection and injured knee, which didn’t exactly sit well with Mir. Nogueira has wanted a rematch ever since, and re-called-out Mir following his big win last month.

By Jason Moles

After a spectacular night of fights at UFC 134 in Rio, we’re going to try to make sense of it with a little game called ‘Buy, Sell, or Hold’. I’ll take a fighter and either buy, sell, or hold him like a stockbroker would. (It’s kind of like the real stock market, except you won’t want to throw yourself off a building afterwards.) Take my advice and you’ll end up with a nice MMA portfolio. Without further ado…

Anderson Silva: Buy! Buy! Buy!

‘The Spider‘ has everything you’d want from a blue chip stock: an x-factor that makes people want to see him fight, major corporate sponsors, and hilarious commercials. Oh yeah, and his fighting isn’t that bad either. Silva’s complete and utter domination of Yushin Okami at UFC 134 just reinforces what we already knew — we are witnessing the greatest fighter of all time every time he steps inside the Octagon™.

Yushin Okami: Dump it like your autographed picture of Carrot Top.

He is currently ranked as the #3 best Middleweight and yet it seems all for naught. Okami showed up to a gunfight with a pair of flip-flops and a bag of Skittles against Silva. Despite working with the only man to dominate the champion, he never once came close to showing a spark in Brazil. I have a feeling he’ll face the same fate as Jon Fitch while his stock becomes more cursed than Monster.

(Man, those were the days.)

Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic responded yesterday to recent comments Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s boxing coach Luis Dorea made in which the Brazilian trainer called for a rematch between his fighter and the Croatian PRIDE veteran.

Dorea told Tatame last week that he would love to see the two former PRIDE legends square off one more time before they retire and that the match-up would be a perfect first bout back for Nogueira, who has been sidelined several months after undergoing double-knee surgery in 2010.

(Nogueira takes ice baths to quell hip pain and to treat his hypergonadism.)

Many fans of Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira were disappointed by the spotty showing of former PRIDE star when he made the transition to the UFC. Some hypothesized that he was slower as a result of the accumulative damage the scores of punches and kicks his head has absorbed over the years, while others assumed he had lost a step due to age.

According to Nogueira, who by the way is only 34, the reason he hasn’t performed to the potential he demonstrated in Japan is that he has been secretly battling a pair of nagging injuries for the past four years. 

 “This is an injury I have had for about four years. For the past two years it has been bothering me a lot. I have been training for all the last fights I had, and it was very painful. My last 3 fights were very painful. To tell you the truth, when I was training in 2005, I felt it a little bit in my hip but it wasn’t that much. 2006 it hurt me. When I trained for the Couture fight it hurt me so bad, then this year it was impossible for training," Nogueira explained during a recent interview with SanDiegoMMA.net. "After Anderson Silva’s fight when he fought Chael [Sonnen], I was there in the group and from there I had training the next day and I couldn’t walk, so I went to Colorado [to see a doctor]. My physical trainer told me [the doctor in Colorado] was the best hip doctor in the world, Dr. Philippon. He took a look at me and said ‘you can’t fight. You are 40% on your performance.’”

(Image courtesy of the UFC)

Earlier today, the UFC distributed its first poster image for UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Oregon), making the top two fights official — Randy Couture vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in the main event, and Keith Jardine vs. Thiago Silva as a lead-in. Interesting…is this the first UFC event that’s being headlined by four guys who are coming off losses? Would it have been that hard to slot Demian Maia and Nate Marquardt (who are also on the card) in the co-main spot? After all, that fight will produce a legitimate middleweight title contender, even if Michael Bisping or Dan Henderson could sneak to the front of the line depending on their performance next month. Meanwhile, Jardine and Silva aren’t getting close to the 205-pound belt anytime soon.

Tickets to UFC 102 go on sale to Fight Club members on Thursday, newsletter members on Friday, and will probably be sold out by the time they’re released to the general public on Saturday. In addition to Couture/Nogueira, Jardine/Silva, and Maia/Marquardt, the following bouts have also been confirmed for UFC 102, according to UFC.com:

(Mickey Rourke prepares for his next role.)

The Natural and Minotauro — two legendary heavyweight champions whose last performances had fans wondering if their days of competing at the sport’s highest level were over. But later this year, one of them will triumph once again. MMA Weekly breaks it:

(Werdum and Andrei Arlovski throw down at UFC 70.)

As the man responsible for de-hyping both Gabriel Gonzaga and Brandon Vera, Fabricio Werdum is riding high in the UFC’s heavyweight division. And to make sure he doesn’t slip away like Randy, Tim, and Andrei, the UFC has just locked him into a five-fight contract extension, with the promise of an immediate title shot if he wins his next fight. Sweetening the deal is the fact that his next fight might be a cakewalk for the well-seasoned and impossible to finish “Vai Cavalo” — he’ll compete at UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago), possibly against Junior Dos Santos, a 6-1 vet of various Brazilian shows who’s probably not ready for the UFC yet.

Assuming he wins his next match, Werdum will then face either Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira or Frank Mir, who are expected to fight in late December. Werdum hopes Big Nog comes out victorious, telling Tatame:

“A fight against Minotauro would be like a dream. It would be great for me, because I fought against him at PRIDE and it was a great fight, he deserved the victory, and I want to say that I’m fighting for the belt against Minotauro, probably in March.”

Werdum is referring to his unanimous decision loss to Nogueira at PRIDE Critical Countdown Absolute in July 2006. Following that fight, Werdum choked out Aleksander Emelianenko then moved to the UFC where he lost another unanimous decision to Andrei Arlovski before knocking off Gonzaga and Vera.

Related: Heavyweight Power Rankings