(What do you mean marrow is not a flavor?!!) 

We have all heard the legend of Rousimar Palhares. Born in a radioactive swamp deep in the Brazilian jungle, “Toquinho” was raised in captivity, locked in a dark, damp cellar that only received 15 minutes of sunlight a day. It was a cruel, traumatizing upbringing, but the townspeople agreed that it was the only way to maintain the utopia they had built. Living off bread crumbs and rage for the first 20 years of his life, Palhares vowed to seek revenge on those who had enslaved him. Unfortunately for the world, he could only see the ankles of his overlords through a crack beneath the bolted steel door that held him, so his curse did not have the luxury of extending to only those who entered Camp Crystal Lake, or she who read from the Necronomicon. If you were born with a pair of ankles, then Palhares is coming for you.

Thankfully, “Toquinho” celebrated his 32nd birthday last Sunday, so the appendages of mankind have been granted a reprieve for a couple more days. Why, you ask? Well as it turns out, this past Sunday went down as a particularly special birthday for the middleweight mangling machine, as it was the first one in which he was given a cake. Unfortunately, his friends and family decided to throw a surprise party for this glorious celebration. There were no survivors.

Check out Rousimar’s reaction to the surprise after the jump.

(Jenna, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.)

Holy crap! CagePotato.com turns one year old today, y’all! Many thanks to those of you who have stuck with us since the beginning — or the close-to-beginning, at least — and helped build this little site into what I believe is the most entertaining and energetic MMA community on the Internet. Lots of bigger and badder things to come, so stay tuned and tell your friends. To honor this day, let’s take a trip in the way-back machine, and revisit 25 of CagePotato’s all-time greatest moments. Enjoy…
(BG)

Sylvia’s ego, Franklin’s face get battered at UFC 77 (First-ever post on CagePotato)

The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

Urijah Faber: Hard Out Here for a Pimp (CP’s first original interview)

Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFl World Grand Prix

The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

Blogger Power! UFC Fight Night 13 Stretched to Three Hours (possibly my favorite photo caption, though this one‘s pretty dear to me as well)

“Tappin’ Out’s for *Whores*”: Matt Serra at the 7/11

The Eight Most Insane Victory Celebrations of All Time

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

The 10 Hottest Ring Girls in MMA

Nogueira, Mir to Coach Next Season of TUF (Fowlkes scoops the Internet by a full month)

Dear Guy Attending This Live MMA Event: An Open Letter

Jenna Jameson threw Tito Ortiz a surprise 33rd birthday party at the Las Vegas club CatHouse on Friday night, and RawVegas.tv‘s cameras were there. Check out the clip below, which reveals the following:

— An eerily reserved Mike Tyson says he’s finished with fighting.
— Troy “Rude Boy” Mandaloniz thinks Frank Mir will beat Brock Lesnar at UFC 81, but Ortiz is calling it for Brock by stoppage in the second round.
— When asked if he’ll make it to the finals on Celebrity Apprentice, the HBBB gives a long, meandering answer that culminates in “I lasted a long time.” Eh, we saw that coming.
— The UFC treats Ortiz “like shit.”
— Jameson revealed that her and Ortiz are trying to have kids (!), who Ortiz thinks will be “beautiful” (!!).
— Kendall Grove is officially going to be a father. “My shit works,” he says, drunk as hell.
— When Jenna is dancing on stage, people tend to forget about Tito.