BJ Penn

(Props: UFC)

Though he jacks up his shoulder on tomorrow night's episode of The Ultimate Fighter, Matt "The Rat" Mitrione is still very much DTF (down to fight). In fact, he tries to convince Coach Rashad that he should be picked to fight next, despite his arm being in a Saran-Wrap cast. Rashad openly calls him "Meathead" now, and casts doubt on his injury. Meanwhile on Team Bumpage, Marcus "Big Baby" Jones is also impatiently awaiting his first match, and becomes convinced that he'll be picked next. And look, we get a rare glimpse of Wes Sims trying to shake water out of his ear (I think?) as Jones walks past him at the 2:15 mark. The end of the promo still promises a Kimbo return, and vows that fight #5 ends in a "shock result no one saw coming." Rashad is shown crouching over one of his guys in the Octagon while others shout "wake up!" First double-knockout in TUF history?

After the jump: UFC old-schooler Oleg Taktarov stops by BJ Penn's gym in Hilo to plug his role in Predators, and Brock Lesnar destroys a few more training partners in preparation for his UFC 106 title defense against Shane Carwin.

(Diego Sanchez vs. Clay Guida)

The moment of impact is never flattering. Here are 21 examples of the special look a just-punched fighter gets that says "I may have suffered a minor stroke, please help." (Not to be confused with bitter beer face.) Lots more after the jump...

(Victor Valimaki vs. Alessio Sakara)

(Georges St. Pierre vs. Thaigo Alves)

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(Sorry, BJ, I couldn't hear you over Dana's shirt. Props to CageWriter for the tip.)

As first revealed on BJPenn.com, the UFC lightweight champ will return to action on December 12th at UFC 107 in Memphis. Strangely, the name "Diego Sanchez" wasn't mentioned in the 40-second video update, though Sherdog reports that Sanchez has at least been offered the fight. UFC 107 is also slated to feature the TUF 10 coaches' battle between Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans, and will also reportedly feature Frank Mir vs. Cheick Kongo, and Thiago Alves vs. Paulo Thiago. (I wonder if they can get Paulo Alves to referee that fight?)

But wait a minute, weren't Penn and Sanchez supposed to headline a third UFC card in November, possibly on a network? "Wait and see boys...if I can pull this off," Dana said at a press conference before UFC 102. Well, maybe he didn't pull it off. Or maybe the unspecified network in question, like HBO in the past, wanted more control over production than White was willing to give up. At any rate, November 7th is currently looking like an open date on the calendar. You hear that, Strikeforce? November 7th. You think you can get your shit together by then?

("One more question, then I gotta get the fuck out of here. Yes, Helen Thomas. What's on your mind, gorgeous?" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The UFC held a press conference yesterday in Portland to discuss tomorrow night's UFC 102 card, as well as other issues related to the organization's future. Some highlights...

- Even though the UFC already has two events slated for November — UFC 105 (11/14, Manchester) and UFC 106 (11/21, Las Vegas) — Dana White revealed that a third November show was in the works, to be headlined by the lightweight championship fight between BJ Penn and Diego Sanchez; Penn/Sanchez was originally reported as the main event for #105. And get this: White said the tentative third November event wouldn't be broadcast on pay-per-view or Spike. Could a network TV deal be in the works? “Wait and see boys... if I can pull this one off,” White said. "We've never had more [network] interest than right now. Obviously, I think all the hard work we've done over nine years and UFC 100 had a big part in it, too. I'm pretty confident we're gonna have a deal very, very soon. I like what I'm hearing now more than I ever did before."

- Dana White may seem determined to counter-program Strikeforce to extinction, but his hostility has nothing to do with Scott Coker. Honestly. As he told reporters, “I’m not anti-Strikeforce, I don’t dislike those guys. I dislike Showtime, that’s who I dislike. I think they’re dicks, I don’t like them. I don’t like their attitude; they think they are better than they really are...The guy over at Showtime who I’m talking about knows who he is and I dislike him very much and my beef is with him, not really Strikeforce. They sucked at boxing, they got their ass kicked by HBO always at boxing yet they tried to stay in it. They got their ass kicked by HBO in programming, but they’re still around and they’re going to get their ass kicked in mixed martial arts too, just not by HBO.”

(Fight starts at the 0:58 mark. Props to NelsaoCB)

As the above video proves, Chris Clements and Steve Ramirez do not hold the record for fastest knockout in MMA history. At a Japanese event called "The Outsider 2" held last July, Ryohei Masuda caught Takahiro Kuroishi rushing in and knocked him into the land of wind and ghosts in two seconds flat. (Doesn't that idiot know that the running start only works when Kid Yamamoto does it? Well, he does now.) Don't ask us to explain the in-ring brawl that comes directly afterwards, though if there are any Japanese speakers in the house who can translate the narrator, please enlighten us.

After the jump: If you have 17 minutes free, check out this amazing timeline of the UFC's lightweight title by our friend Koeikan. "Short People" FTW.