Well, we warned you. Bellator ring girl Jade Bryce has returned for another installment of “MMA Impressions” for CagePotato.com, in which she gives her own unique take on these classic victory celebrations:
“I tried to punch him and he literally moved his head out of the way and looked at me like I was stupid for doing it. He looked at me like, ‘Why would you do such a stupid thing?’ He looked at me like, ‘Oh, did you really think you were going to hit me? What a stupid thing to think you slow, slow white boy,’ and then he punched me. I felt embarrassed for even trying to punch him. I felt like some kid trying to wrestle with his dad.”
That’s how UFC light-heavyweight Forrest Griffindescribed his painful run-in with Anderson Silva, which happened exactly four years ago today, on August 8th, 2009. The infamous one-rounder took place during UFC 101: Declaration at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, an event that was headlined by BJ Penn‘s second lightweight title defense against Kenny Florian. (The Silva vs. Griffin non-title fight was slotted in the co-main event; to date, it was the only fight in Silva’s UFC career that wasn’t a main event.)
To me, the most impressive thing about Demetrious Johnson’s performance against John Moraga in the main event of UFC on FOX 8 last weekend was the fact that Johnson won the fight via fifth-round stoppage — only the fourth time in the history of the UFC that a match has ended in the fifth stanza.
The win also got me thinking: What are some of the other latest finishes in UFC history? Luckily, I did the work so you don’t have to. Here’s a list of the top 10 latest stoppages in UFC history since UFC 21, the first event to utilize the now-standard five-round, five-minute format for title fights.
1. UFC on FOX 8: Demetrious Johnson def. John Moraga via submission (armbar), 3:43 of round five
Believe it or not, you were all witnessing history on Saturday when Johnson submitted Moraga, as “Mighty Mouse” now holds the record for the latest stoppage victory in the history of the UFC. That’s an amazing feat considering that the UFC has staged thousands of bouts over the years, and it’s even more amazing when you consider that the flyweights aren’t known for finishing their opponents. The fight was a testament to Johnson’s will and determination to look for the finish for the full 25 minutes, the mark of a true champion.
(Skip to 2:25 for the start of the VADA conversation..)
UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre has been accused of steroid use more times than any other fighter who’s never failed a drug test. BJ Pennfirst painted him as a cheater in 2009, saying that St. Pierre “doesn’t play by the rules when it comes to steroids and growth hormones and that stuff,” and pointed to his physique as proof. (“He looks like that every day…The rest of us, we get fat, then we train and get skinny and the cycle goes over and over again. He looks the same way all the time. Come on.”)
So for once, St. Pierre is going to beat these jackasses to the punch. In a new interview with Sportsnet’s Joe Ferraro, St. Pierre invited his UFC 167 opponent Johny Hendricks to subscribe to pre-fight drug-testing with him through the Voluntary Anti-Doping Association (VADA), which would provide random, unannounced testing during the eight weeks before their fight. Here’s what St. Pierre had to say:
“I believe the sport has a problem now. When I first started fighting in mixed martial arts, it didn’t have any money. So, now more money got involved, more ways are there to be cheating to take a shortcut and I believe VADA testing I’m up for it and I invite my opponent to do the VADA testing for the championship fight.
(Well, at least we had the same reaction to this news as Penn himself.)
Former lightweight and welterweight champion BJ Penn is one of the best fighters in MMA history, pound for pound. There is no debating this. However, the thirty four year-old has also only won a single fight in his last six outings, and just three in his last nine fights, dating back the last four and a half years.
Penn’s last two losses, to Nick Diaz and Rory MacDonald at UFC 137 and UFC on FOX 5, respectively, were ugly ones for “The Prodigy” to say the least. The tough Hawaiian made it to the end of both fights by virtue of being damn near impossible to finish, but also looked more like a cartoon who had taken a bath in Judge Doom’s “Dip” than a human being by the time both encounters were all said and done.
UFC President Dana White has called for Penn to retire, saying that Penn is “too tough for his own good.” Despite this, Fuel TV’s UFC Tonight reported yesterday that Penn is not yet ready to call it quits. Because who ever is, really?
“The door is still open for BJ Penn to return to MMA in the future,” reporter Ariel Helwani said on UFC Tonight. ”If he does come back, it will be at 155 pounds…He’s actually training right now and has to check in with his body and mind in the next few months.”
Confused? Well welcome to the 209, bitch. It’s a magical place where, should you find yourself fighting for a(n interim) title in MMA’s highest promotion, you will receive such sound corner advice as “That’s the kind of asshole shit he’s got,” “Fuckin’ dick,” and “Condit, you pussy!” But mainly, your teammates/coaches will be relegated to complaining about how slippery your opponent is. Not slippery in the figurative sense — we mean, like, that pussy just got out the pool or some shit. And don’t even get them started on what’ll happen if this fight goes the judges, who are all probably betting against you anyway. But seriously, they put waaay too much water on that motherfucker, man.
We could watch this all day, but we first feel compelled to ask: Nate Diaz vs. Frito in an academic decathalon — who takes it?
Every once in a while, videos come out that you wish were a little longer. Usually, they include this chick. Others, however, contain candid and inside looks into the lives and mindsets of top fighters. A new one released by Fuel TV called “UFC Roundtable Welterweights” is one of those videos.
Our favorite fitness guru and MMA coach Jay Glazer sat down with four legends — BJ Penn, Renzo Gracie, Georges St. Pierre and Matt Serra — to discuss the psychology of pre-fight moments like stare downs, warm ups, and the walk to the cage/ring. Given all the heat and history between most of these guys, it was cool to see them sit next to one another and seemingly enjoy what the others had to say.
St. Pierre, for example, waxed sports-psychologist philosophical about how he turns his fear into courage, and even his two-time nemesis Serra was impressed. Penn gushed about how Renzo was the one guy who didn’t look away from him during a stare down. I guess time and everyone being rich has a way of healing old wounds.
FightHubTV recently got in front of boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya, and asked him for his thoughts on the Rory MacDonald vs. BJ Penn fight at UFC on FOX 5, which De La Hoya was apparently live-tweeting. It seems that De La Hoya enjoys that MMA stuff once in a while, although he was a little confused by Rory’s performance:
“Well I wondering like, ‘why don’t you just go finish him?’ Because [MacDonald] looks like he has talents, he looks like he has that little ‘it’ factor…just keep on working on it, keep on working on it. You have to feel that killer instinct. Feel it! And go after it. Grab it, get it…I would love to see him use that jab to the body. If I was in there with that opponent he was fighting against, that jab to the body would have just paralyzed him. I mean, it would have. You could see it. I mean, obviously you could see things from outside, but he’s a talented fighter, my hat goes off to him.”
Dang, I kind of feel bad that Oscar referred to UFC legend BJ Penn simply as “that opponent [Rory] was fighting against,” and I’m sure it would break Penn’s heart to hear that. But honestly, I wondered the same thing during the fight. Particularly in the second round, when Penn was doubled up from body shots, with only his pride and otherworldly toughness keeping him on his feet — could MacDonald have turned it up a notch and beaten Penn to the ground? In the third round, when Rory was, ahem, “trying to mix it up [with] different distances” — what if McDonald just threw more strikes instead of showing off his totally sweet Muhammad Ali shuffle-step impression?
(18 seconds in = that moment when you realize you’ve literally been screaming obscenities on national television for the past 15 seconds. Props to FightersOnly.)
We should all be thanking our lucky stars for tape delay, because if it weren’t for the quick minds (and fingers) of the UFC’s censorship department, some of our children might have had their minds permanently tainted by the obscene gestures and naughty words used by two men trying to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other last Saturday night. And that is unacceptable. I mean, violence is one thing, but the middle fingerbeing thrown about all willy-nilly?! I don’t want my illegitimate children growing up in that kind of cold, harsh world.
And God forbid the censors had let the onslaught of f-bombs delivered by BJ Penn‘s trainer during his introduction (as captured above) slip past them, or we would have had a full blown crisis on our hands. As you can see, the gentlemen to the top left of the screen — likely through some sort of Hawaiian, mumbo-jumbo voodoo ritual that involves the repeated shouting of curse words — somehow absorbed all of the energy Penn was supposed to have stored up for his fight with Rory MacDonald in the moments beforehand. It’s the only explanation of how Penn gassed in a minute and a half, and the defense I am prepared to use whilst trapping my disappointment in his performance deep in the recesses of my soul.
Anyway, I spent most of my morning drowning my sorrows in alcohol compiling a playlist of awesome, semi-MMA-related videos from around the web that will last you through your lunch break, so check ‘em out after the jump.