(Diego Sanchez vs. Clay Guida)

The moment of impact is never flattering. Here are 21 examples of the special look a just-punched fighter gets that says "I may have suffered a minor stroke, please help." (Not to be confused with bitter beer face.) Lots more after the jump…

(Victor Valimaki vs. Alessio Sakara)

(Georges St. Pierre vs. Thaigo Alves)

Find more videos like this on BJPENN.COM
(Sorry, BJ, I couldn’t hear you over Dana’s shirt. Props to CageWriter for the tip.)

As first revealed on BJPenn.com, the UFC lightweight champ will return to action on December 12th at UFC 107 in Memphis. Strangely, the name "Diego Sanchez" wasn’t mentioned in the 40-second video update, though Sherdog reports that Sanchez has at least been offered the fight. UFC 107 is also slated to feature the TUF 10 coaches’ battle between Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans, and will also reportedly feature Frank Mir vs. Cheick Kongo, and Thiago Alves vs. Paulo Thiago. (I wonder if they can get Paulo Alves to referee that fight?)

But wait a minute, weren’t Penn and Sanchez supposed to headline a third UFC card in November, possibly on a network? "Wait and see boys…if I can pull this off," Dana said at a press conference before UFC 102. Well, maybe he didn’t pull it off. Or maybe the unspecified network in question, like HBO in the past, wanted more control over production than White was willing to give up. At any rate, November 7th is currently looking like an open date on the calendar. You hear that, Strikeforce? November 7th. You think you can get your shit together by then?

("One more question, then I gotta get the fuck out of here. Yes, Helen Thomas. What’s on your mind, gorgeous?" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The UFC held a press conference yesterday in Portland to discuss tomorrow night’s UFC 102 card, as well as other issues related to the organization’s future. Some highlights…

– Even though the UFC already has two events slated for November — UFC 105 (11/14, Manchester) and UFC 106 (11/21, Las Vegas) — Dana White revealed that a third November show was in the works, to be headlined by the lightweight championship fight between BJ Penn and Diego Sanchez; Penn/Sanchez was originally reported as the main event for #105. And get this: White said the tentative third November event wouldn’t be broadcast on pay-per-view or Spike. Could a network TV deal be in the works? “Wait and see boys… if I can pull this one off,” White said. "We’ve never had more [network] interest than right now. Obviously, I think all the hard work we’ve done over nine years and UFC 100 had a big part in it, too. I’m pretty confident we’re gonna have a deal very, very soon. I like what I’m hearing now more than I ever did before."

– Dana White may seem determined to counter-program Strikeforce to extinction, but his hostility has nothing to do with Scott Coker. Honestly. As he told reporters, “I’m not anti-Strikeforce, I don’t dislike those guys. I dislike Showtime, that’s who I dislike. I think they’re dicks, I don’t like them. I don’t like their attitude; they think they are better than they really are…The guy over at Showtime who I’m talking about knows who he is and I dislike him very much and my beef is with him, not really Strikeforce. They sucked at boxing, they got their ass kicked by HBO always at boxing yet they tried to stay in it. They got their ass kicked by HBO in programming, but they’re still around and they’re going to get their ass kicked in mixed martial arts too, just not by HBO.”

(Fight starts at the 0:58 mark. Props to NelsaoCB)

As the above video proves, Chris Clements and Steve Ramirez do not hold the record for fastest knockout in MMA history. At a Japanese event called "The Outsider 2" held last July, Ryohei Masuda caught Takahiro Kuroishi rushing in and knocked him into the land of wind and ghosts in two seconds flat. (Doesn’t that idiot know that the running start only works when Kid Yamamoto does it? Well, he does now.) Don’t ask us to explain the in-ring brawl that comes directly afterwards, though if there are any Japanese speakers in the house who can translate the narrator, please enlighten us.

After the jump: If you have 17 minutes free, check out this amazing timeline of the UFC’s lightweight title by our friend Koeikan. "Short People" FTW.

("All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, the blood of my opponents, and I’m fine." Photo courtesy of Fight!)

BJ Penn isn’t exactly the most prolific fighter in the world; over the last three years, the Prodigy has only made six appearances in the Octagon. But now that he’s entered his 30s, the UFC lightweight king has vowed that his long layoffs are over, and he’s ready to get back in the cage sooner rather than later. As he told the Hawaii Tribune-Herald:

(Props: Hywel Teague; hint)

(Props: Mouastarz209; hint)

Yesterday we took a look at some classic MMA moments recreated in MS Paint, and suffice it to say, Potato Nation was inspired. Thanks to everyone who e-mailed us drawings of their own, many of which made us laugh our asses off. Our two favorites are above, and a few more are after the jump. Yes, you’re all eligible for free t-shirts.

(Props: CageWriter)

Now that the dust has settled on his second unsuccessful run at a UFC lightweight title, it’s time for Kenny Florian to look to the future and learn from the mistakes of his past. In this interview with ProMMARadio, Florian blames his long layoff for his submission loss to BJ Penn at UFC 101, and hopes to get back in cage right away against a tough opponent. Some highlights:

On ring rust: "I didn’t think it would be a factor, just because I stayed busy throughout, I was training hard…but it definitely was. Being almost nine months away from the cage, it hurt me. With my striking, it’s always an issue…I just found that I couldn’t get my range and my timing going during the fight, and felt I wasn’t effective there. I just felt uncomfortable with my striking."

On how he was doing until he lost: "I figured that I definitely won the second and third [rounds]. The first, he caught me with a good shot, but I was kind of off-balance so it looked like I got knocked down…Going into the fourth, obviously, with where he ended up with the takedown on top, I knew he was obviously going to win that round and my goal was trying to survive and just try to make it to the fifth where I’d be able to push and try to squeeze out the win…the commissioner came over to me and said that a couple of the judges had me winning the first couple rounds, I was two to one, or one of the judges had me all three, I don’t know exactly what happened, but he told me that a couple of the judges may have had me winning."

(Props: solidsnakebite via Reggadi)

And all this time, we thought Fedor Emelianenko was a humble dude, without a bad word to say about anybody. Well, this is what happens when you push him too far. In the above clip, Fedor and his M-1 cronies tell us how they really feel about the UFC’s paper champion. But at least they can keep a sense of humor about it. If only Hitler shared the same attitude…

(Props: 0fficialbjpenn)

In a night filled with some less-than-thrilling matchups, at least Anderson Silva and BJ Penn remembered that they were in Philly — and for that, they were rewarded handsomely. Silva earned a $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for cleaning Forrest Griffin‘s clock in the first round of their light-heavyweight feature at UFC 101, while Penn scored a Submission of the Night bonus in honor of his fourth-round rear-naked-choke of Kenny Florian. Somewhat suprisingly, additional $60,000 Fight of the Night checks went to Silva and Griffin for their match, even though it wasn’t much of a fight. UFC 101 drew a sold-out crowd of 17,411 spectators for a live gate of $3.55 million, a combat sports record for Pennsylvania. Reportedly, almost 11,000 of those fans were already in their seats by the time the first preliminary match started.

During the post-fight press conference, UFC president Dana White announced that the UFC was looking to host an event at Boston’s legendary Fenway Park by next summer; the Massachusetts state senate passed a bill to regulate MMA last month. White also said that the UFC could add another event to its schedule in October, in addition to UFC 104 (October 24th, Los Angeles). Since Fedor Emelianenko is slated to make his Strikeforce debut sometime in October, the counter-programming motives are fairly obvious here. Game on…

(Look, deadlines are deadlines, Anderson. You think you’re the only employee of the Curitiba Times with a fight this weekend? Half the guys in the sales department have fights this weekend. And for God’s sake, buy a real tape recorder. / Photo courtesy of LasVegasSun.com.)

Weigh-ins for UFC 101: Declaration went down moments ago at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, with all fighters coming in at or below their contracted limits. No real surprises, expect for when Amir Sadollah cruised in at a somewhat worrisome 166.5 pounds; very unexpected for a guy who’s last fight was at middleweight. At the other end of the spectrum, Tamdan McCrory showed up to the weigh-ins in a full sweat-suit, and had to towel off before stepping on the scale, but still hit his mark on the button. The numbers are below. Swing by tomorrow night as we liveblog the pay-per-view card beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT.

Main Card
BJ Penn (155) vs. Kenny Florian (155)
Anderson Silva (205) vs. Forrest Griffin (205)
Kendall Grove (185.5) vs. Ricardo Almeida (185)
Josh Neer (155.5) vs. Kurt Pellegrino (154.5)
Amir Sadollah (166.5) vs. Johny Hendricks (171)

Preliminary Card
Shane Nelson (156) vs. Aaron Riley (154)
Tamdan McCrory (170) vs. John Howard (169.5)
Alessio Sakara (185.5) vs. Thales Leites (185)
Dan Cramer (169.5) vs. Matt Riddle (170)
George Roop (154) vs. George Sotiropoulos (155)
Danillo Villefort (170.25) vs. Jesse Lennox (171)

(GSP’s fists later tested positive for Asskickazolol and 4-Hydroxyawesome. Photo courtesy of LA Times.)

His greasing crusade never amounted to much, but UFC lightweight champ BJ Penn won’t rest until arch-rival Georges St. Pierre is busted for something. In a new interview with Yahoo! Sports, the Prodigy launched yet another explosive accusation:

The easy storyline for the main event of UFC 101 is as follows: BJ Penn is the spoiled champion who has enjoyed success due to prodigious fighting ability, and not necessarily through hard work, while Kenny Florian is the hungry, focused, scrappy challenger who works harder than Penn outside of the cage and is mentally tougher inside of it. But the Prodigy we’ve seen in the training camp for this fight isn’t the lazy, complacent one we know and love. The fact that BJ has brought in Marv Marinovich as his strength and conditioning coach, and has moved out of the insular world of Hilo to train with an impressively stacked camp in California, suggests that Penn wants to try new things in the wake of his one-sided loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 94. For a fighter so far along in his career, it’s an inspiring and somewhat unexpected attitude. And if Penn is taking this fight as seriously as Florian, it’s a bad sign for the challenger.

Later in the above video preview, Anderson Silva calls Robert Drysdale a "fool" and an "idiot" for suggesting that Forrest Griffin will submit him during their light-heavyweight feature. Spike’s "Countdown to UFC 101" special premieres tonight at 11 p.m. ET/PT. After the jump, Diego Sanchez discusses his imminent title shot and who he’d like to see prevail in the Penn/Florian match.

Find more videos like this on BJPENN.COM

The latest maddeningly brief video from BJPenn.com shows the Prodigy hanging out at his gym with Fedor Emelianenko and Fedor’s constant road-dog Gegard Mousasi. But when and why did Fedor fly to Hawaii? [Ed. note: Right, he's in California this time. And so is Fedor. Got it.] As usual, there are no answers, and the mystery of BJ grows. Still, the idea of Fedor and Gegard joining Penn’s already stacked training camp should give Kenny Florian fans the heebie-jeebies. Assuming, of course, that BJ actually trains with these people. All we know is, directly after this fight, Emelianenko jumped out of BJ’s pool. And he was at the bottom of the deep end at the time. And he was standing on one leg.

(Props: CageWriter)

Believe it or not, Vitor Belfort‘s trainer Shawn Tompkins says that he and Vitor had been pushing for a fight against Fedor Emelianenko three months ago — and now the opportunity may have dropped in their laps. "It’s Vitor’s way of proving that he is the best pound-for-pound champion," says Tompkins of Belfort’s desire to face the Last Emperor. The Xtreme Couture striking coach tries to convince Steve Cofield that going from Jorge Santiago to Fedor Emelianenko isn’t that big of a stylistic change for Vitor, but acknowledges that Fedor probably isn’t too nervous about the last-minute opponent-switch.

Also, fighting Emelianenko is far from a lost cause: "[Fedor's fight against Andrei Arlovski] really showed a lot of the kink in Fedor’s armor. Whether Fedor believes it or not, he doesn’t deal well with speed, and he doesn’t deal well with getting hit…it’s going to be hard to keep up to Vitor’s pace." And as for their previous refusal to take on Gegard Mousasi at light-heavyweight? Tompkins drops some real-talk on us: "What does Mousasi do for us in America? If Affliction sticks around, we’d like to renew our contract with them, but if they don’t, we want to go to the UFC. Beating Mousasi does nothing for us, getting beat by Mousasi…it’s not good for us at all."

(The international symbol for "Bring me two more bowls of poi.")

Though formal MMA regulation began in Hawaii earlier this month, the UFC had no plans to host an event there due to the high taxes that the state demands from fight promoters. Luckily, things are about to change in a big way. As UFC prez Dana White told FiveOuncesofPain:

Hawaii’s other venues might be too small, but the Aloha Stadium is freakin’ gigantic. With a 50,000+ capacity, it could theoretically host the most well-attended UFC event in history. (UFC 97, held at Montreal’s Bell Centre, currently holds the record with 21,451 fans.) Of course, at least one mega-fight would need to be booked for the UFC to roll the dice on an outdoor stadium show. If BJ Penn gets by Kenny Florian next month, could we see him take on Diego Sanchez on his home turf?

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

Coming off a painful loss against Rashad Evans in December, you’d think that Forrest Griffin would want a tune-up match before stepping into a another dangerous fight. Yet Griffin sees his meeting with Anderson Silva at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia) as "an opportunity to really test yourself, just as a person, as a man, as anything." Griffin’s gameplan will rely on some pace-pushing and "intelligent aggression." As for his chances against the Spider, Forrest is reliably humble: "Am I the guy to beat Anderson Silva? Why not? Somebody’s gotta do it. Might as well be me."

After the jump: BJ Penn discusses coming back after his own devastating loss, and says he should have poisoned Kenny Florian‘s food when he had the chance.

(No, B.J.  That does not count as working on your clinch game.)

There are any number of concerns one might have about B.J. Penn’s readiness when he shows up to fight.  That he might be suffering from ‘overtraining’ is typically not one of them.  And yet, without a hint of irony, that’s what Penn says he is effectively guarding against for his UFC lightweight title fight with Kenny Florian at UFC 101.  As he tells AroundHawaii.com (via MMA Mania):

“The training’s going great for UFC 101. I’m making sure not to overtrain. And, you know we started a couple months ago, and I’m training with Marv Marinovich, and we’ll be spending our last 8 weeks in California with a bunch of good training partners, with Marv Marinovich there, Jason Parillo will be there, Rudy Valentino’s gonna fly up, so I feel VERY good about this training camp.”

Well, that’s a load off our minds.  In a related story, Thiago Alves assured reporters that he wouldn’t come in underweight for his fight with Georges St. Pierre at UFC 100, while Mark Coleman vowed not to be too young and vivacious for his bout with Stephan Bonnar.

In his latest video blogging effort B.J. Penn proudly shows off his 166-pound frame more than a month out from his lightweight title defense against Kenny Florian at UFC 101.  Penn looks pretty lean at that weight and even has the suggestion of abs, but he certainly doesn’t look a man who has cut every ounce of expendable weight off his frame.  This makes me wonder a) what made him think he could give up so much size and strength to GSP, who is at this very moment preparing to fight a 200-pound Thiago Alves? and b) is fighting at 155 pounds enough to ensure that Penn will show up in shape this summer?

(Props: BloodyElbow)

According to Kenny Florian, his October 2006 loss to Sean Sherk transformed him from a fighter who wanted to compete with his opponents to a fighter who wants to destroy his opponents — and he’ll be bringing his renewed intensity to the cage with him against BJ Penn at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia). In this recent interview with Inside MMA, Florian also discusses training with Georges St. Pierre, getting his named botched by Dr. Phil, and his four-letter prediction for the Penn scrap. By the way, if BJ bitches out between now and August and drops out of the fight, Diego Sanchez is totally cool to step in.

After making my MMA highlight reel debut with "Sakuraba: Survivor," I decided to follow it up with a new compilation that’s both shorter and less depressing. The concept of "Stranglehold" is quite simple: Here are some of the most creative and infamous choke-submissions in recent MMA history, soundtracked by Ted Nugent. The cast of characters include Nate Diaz, Dan Miller, Renato "Babalu" Sobral, Shinya Aoki, BJ Penn, Nick Diaz, Demian Maia, CB Dollaway, and Toby Imada. Let me know what you think, and if you dig it, please share with a friend.

(BG)

("Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!")

When BJ Penn said "to the death" before his UFC 94 welterweight championship bout against Georges St. Pierre, we thought he meant fight to the death, not litigate to the death. While the rest of the MMA world has long since lost interest in Penn’s claim that GSP enjoyed a vaseline-related advantage during their match in January, Penn himself is working to get the issue moved from Nevada State Athletic Commission hearings to a Nevada court.

During a NSAC hearing on Wednesday, the commission acknowledged receipt of four documents submitted by Penn’s attorney Raffi Nahabedian and his mother Lorraine Shin — among them a request for a full accounting of the evidence that Keith Kizer used in deciding not to file a formal complaint with the commission against Georges St. Pierre, and (this one’s important) a request for a definitive statement on the commission’s decision regarding disciplinary action and/or sanctions to be taken against St. Pierre and his cornermen, Greg Jackson and Phil Nurse.

(Kenny Florian, who may be taking over for Barack Obama in 2013, plugs UFC 101 on Good Day Philadelphia.)

MMA Junkie passes along the news that UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia) has been given the official title of "Declaration" — get it, geniuses? — and points out that the main card bouts (as well as five prelim fights) are now finalized. Here’s what we’re dealing with:

MAIN CARD
B.J. Penn vs. Kenny Florian (for lightweight championship)
Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin (LHW)
Amir Sadollah vs. Johny Hendricks (WW)
Kendall Grove vs. Ricardo Almeida (MW)
Josh Neer vs. Kurt Pellegrino (LW)

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

With Dana slowly transitioning out of his web presence, the UFC is getting into an event-specific rotation for their video blogs. Last time we had Chuck Liddell letting us see the days leading up to his retirement, and now we’ve got Matt Serra giving us an impromptu episode of UFC Cribs. (Livin’ lawge, Matty!) Later, Serra stops by the gym, mainly just to mock Ray "The Hoarder" Longo. Many laughs are had, many balls are busted.

(If you’ve somehow forgotten how awesome Renzo is, watch 0:16-0:22 of the above clip. Props to Kostakio.)

Though he hasn’t competed since his DQ win over Frank Shamrock at EliteXC: Destiny in February 2007, don’t assume that Renzo Gracie is retired from the ring. The 42-year-old MMA pioneer, who is currently helping train Matt Serra and Andre Gusmao for their fights at UFC 98, says that he plans to start preparing for his next fight at the end of this year, right after he opens two new Renzo Gracie Academies in Connecticut and New Jersey. As he told TriStateFighter, he would happily fight for "anyplace that [would] take me…they’re willing to take an old man in, I will be there." Go here to listen to TSF’s full interview with Renzo, in which he discusses Serra’s preparation for Matt Hughes.

Bonus, after the jump: The trailer for Renzo Gracie Legacy, in which Renzo remembers Johnny Cash lyrics a little differently than we do.

I spoke to Kenny Florian last week for this SportsIllustrated.com article on the effects of the dreaded “Octagon jitters,” and naturally our conversation turned to his upcoming UFC lightweight title fight against B.J. Penn at UFC 101.  When I asked about Penn’s claims that Florian had warned him of potential “greasing” by Georges St. Pierre before their UFC 94 superfight, Florian did his best to downplay the dust-up.

“I’m not sure what that was.  Maybe it was a miscommunication, after what I had said about Roger Huerta.  Maybe it was head games on his part.  Maybe he genuinely believes that.  I don’t really know.  But I have a lot of respect for B.J.  I think he’s a proud champion.  I think he worked hard for that fight against Georges, and he just wasn’t able to deliver.  That can be hard to deal with.  I think that loss hurt him.”

After a furious ten-day session in which 453 captions were submitted, it’s time to bring this thing home. Below are the 11 best entries in our Never Surrender caption contest. Read them all below, then vote for your favorite in the poll on the right. The five captions with the most votes win their authors a DVD copy of Never Surrender, and the five runners-up win CagePotato "Hall of Fame" t-shirts. The last-place caption earns the bitter frustration of coming so close to success but falling just short. Voting ends tomorrow at 4 p.m. ET, and the winners will be announced shortly after. Thanks to everyone who entered, and good luck!

Steve: Hey guys, after the movie, let’s go to my bedroom, take our shoes off, lie down on my bed, take about 20 to 30 minutes, and…

Rodney: This was taken just before BJ returned to his trailer and failed to come back out for the second half of the movie.

Til: Ok you can have him this weekend, but remember — lots of food and no Red Bull.

To commemorate the DVD release of Never Surrender on April 28th, LionsGate has given us five copies of the flick to give away to you wonderful people. Hit us with the plot summary, IMDb:

So it’s kind of like this, but with higher production values and a cast of actual MMA stars (Georges St. Pierre, BJ Penn, Anderson Silva, Quinton Jackson, and Heath Herring). You know you want to see that. And to score a copy of the movie, all you have to do is come up with an entertaining caption to the photo after the jump…

(Props: MMA Convert via Fightlinker)

Kenny Florian trains at Montreal’s Tristar Gym with Georges St. Pierre, Firas Zahabi, and the rest of the gang who helped turn a proud champion into a ruined crybaby. No word on whether Zahabi ever took BJ Penn up on his generous offer to go fuck himself. Florian and Penn will battle for the UFC’s lightweight title at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia).

(Props: YouTube.com/chaplinshouse)

The brilliant video-remixer/voice-mimic responsible for the Tito Ortiz music video in the #1 spot of today’s Worst Commentary Moments list dropped us a line this afternoon to let us know that his latest work has just been posted to YouTube. (Good lookin’ out, Chaplin!) "The Douchebag" makes fun of everything that BJ Penn can possibly be made fun of for, including (but not limited to) his lazy training habits, his mother fighting his legal battles for him, his failed appeal to The Rock for a movie role, and how his former jiu-jitsu teacher hates him now. Plus, we learn that when BJ’s voice is slowed down, he sounds basically retarded. (Coincidentally, Jeff Goldblum suffers from the same condition.) Chaplin also has a couple of non-MMA-related videos that you also need to check out. If you can make it through this voice-dubbed scene from last season’s Celebrity Apprentice without pissing yourself laughing…well, good for you. Must be nice having dry pants.

(Time to "kill that master"? Photos courtesy of GrapplingStore and MMASplatter.)

According to a new posting on BJPenn.com, the UFC lightweight champ will defend his lightweight title against #1 contender Kenny Florian in the headlining bout of UFC 101 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on August 8th. The report states that Florian has already signed the bout agreement, and Penn’s own signing was imminent. It will be the first time the UFC’s lightweight title has been contested in 15 months, since BJ Penn defeated Sean Sherk by TKO at UFC 84 last May. Florian has won his last six fights (five by stoppage), but hasn’t competed since his first-round submission of Joe Stevenson at UFC 91 in November.

If the Penn/Florian report is accurate, it would mean that two of the UFC’s five championship titles could potentially be on the line in the month of August. As we previously reported, a middleweight title scrap between Anderson Silva the winner of Anderson Silva/Thales Leites [Ed. note: Ha! Sorry, Thales!] and Demian Maia may be added to UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Ore.).