“@nickdiaz209 Look how much bigger you are in this pic..” he wrote, referring to the photo above. “I thought you were gonna scrap from the beginning homie? What was that coward fence holding strategy to tire out the smaller man? Street fighter my ass! I made you fight like glass jaw @jonfitchdotnet poser! I’ll be ready for that weak bs next time we fight!”
As co-host of the Opie & Anthony radio show on SiriusXM, comedian Jim Norton has become the designated punching bag for visiting MMA stars. He’s been choked, he’s been kicked, he’s had his foot twisted 180 degrees by Brock Lesnar. And considering what a sick, depraved bastard Norton is, you have to wonder if he enjoys it on some level. Here’s everything we could collect from Jim Norton’s MMA-related body of work. All videos courtesy of opieradio.
Guest:BJ Penn, 4/14/10 Technique: Armbar In Jim’s words: “That is fuckin’ horrible…Besides the fact that your arm is ready to be ripped out, it puts pressure on your fuckin’ — it stretches you both ways, I didn’t realize it did that.”
(Smiling in the presence of a woman? Automatic one-point deduction. / Photo via Sherdog)
As sort-of hazily defined by Nick Diaz back in January 2010, the Unified Rules of Stockton is an alternate MMA scoring system in which the winner of the fight is the guy who would have won if the match had continued indefinitely, and the loser is the guy who looks more fucked up afterwards. Under Stockton Rules, only the final round is scored, and holding onto top position without doing damage actually counts for negative points.
The more commonly used ten-point-must system keeps things nice and uniform, and doesn’t require judges to predict the future. But as we’ve seen time and time again, the fighter who has more points on the scorecards isn’t always who you would call the “winner.” So which notable UFC fights would have different results if the scoring system was a little more gangster? Let’s get an obvious one out of the way first…
DAN HENDERSON vs. MAURICIO “SHOGUN” RUA UFC 139, 11/19/11
Nick Diaz has quickly become one of the most polarizing figures perhaps behind only Chael Sonnen in the sheer even number of fans and haters, but it looks like some facets of the Stockton native’s act may be more calculated than we thought.
While making a rare media appearance on HDNet’s Inside MMA last night Diaz told hosts Kenny Rice and Bas Rutten that his callout of UFC welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre wasn’t a spur of the moment decision he made after beating BJ Penn at UFC 137. He explained that he was pretty sure he’d get his previously promised title shot if he chose his words carefully for his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan and that he was happy that St-Pierre took the bait.
If you’re like me, when you see that Joe Rogan or Mike Goldberg are about to launch into one of their interview segments during the Spike prelims, you likely use the opportunity to grab a beer, take a piss, or switch over to Comedy Central to re-watch the end of last week’s Workaholicsepisode (the exception to this is of course,when Jason Mamoa is around). Because let’s be honest, who wants to listen to Dana White scream over a blaring DMX song about how great the upcoming card that you can’t afford is going to be?
But in the case of last weekend’s ProElite 2-Big Guns event, Michael Schiavello’s interview with B.J. Penn felt like the first breath after awakening from a seven year coma. Penn, who has apparently mastered the technology behind Wolverine’s healing powers, showed few signs of the damage Nick Diaz inflicted upon him just over a week ago. At the event to support his brother Reagan, “The Prodigy” discussed how retiring had been on his mind for some time:
Ask the Potato is back and as credible as ever- which is almost an accomplishment worth bragging about. This week, while coming up with the smartass quips that you’ve come to expect from us, we noticed that even some minor celebrities have taken notice of this feature and submitted their own questions. Naturally, we’re handling this development the way you would expect us to. We’re placing their questions before your (somewhat) serious questions in order to address people with more clout than you. Just remember, guys: We didn’t sell out: We bought in.
If you’ve seen the latest TV spot for the soon-to-be-released Assassin’s Creed: Revelations game, you may have done a double take when you saw a character that looked an awful lot like BJ Penn.
Don’t worry, you aren’t going nuts. Penn appeared in the commercial sandwiched between Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson, Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose and the game’s protagonist, Ezio Auditore da Firenze.
- BJ Penn: A Lesson in Greatness (MMA Convert)
“When last we saw BJ Penn, the Hawaiian legend was battered and bloody and seemingly adamant about his UFC 137 appearance – a hard loss to Nick Diaz that left his eye purple and swollen – being his last trip into the Octagon. Then, days later, came the post on Penn’s website, saying he would take some time off and see where it goes from there. Which leaves us with what? A former welterweight and lightweight champ on the cusp of retirement? A warrior in the waning years of his career? Or simply a fighter who needs some time to reassess his place in the sport? I’d say definitely all of the above. Which isn’t to say Penn is washed up; he is, and will always be, one the best MMA has ever seen.”
- Joe Rogan: If NASCAR’s Not a Monopoly, UFC Isn’t Either (And They Should Buy K-1) (Fight Opinion)
“The people who own K-1, they owe a lot of money, man. They want to start fights but they want to not have to pay all the fighters that they owe money to and they owe just fucking untold millions of dollars to fighters that they haven’t paid. So, they’re in a bad financial situation but it’s because they didn’t promote it correctly. If someone like the UFC came along, if Zuffa came along and picked up K-1 — they’re not interested in it, I’ve talked to them about it — but if someone like that did, if Mark Cuban did or someone with balls and a lot of money who loves the sport, God damn that’s a gold mine. It’s a God damn gold mine. Mark Cuban, go do it! You already got Michael Schiavello working for you.”
- Gameplans For Surviving Fights With Movie Monsters (The Fight Nerd)
“Unless you’re UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva, you do not want to be engaged in a stand up battle with a werewolf. The lycanthropic crime against nature may come out overly aggressive and afford you the ability to start dancing around and tagging him. But this thing has a gas tank to rival Clay Guida and one flurry is the difference between looking slick on your feet and a first round loss by technical mauling.”
You would think that Nick Diaz’s camp would cool it with all of the accusations about Georges St-Pierre being scared or faking an injury to get out of fighting their boy now that they got the desired result, but that’s not how they do things in Stockton, evidently.
Dring a media scrum after the UFC 137 presser, Cesar Gracie was asked, in a somewhat baited way if he thought GSP’s injury was legit and he didn’t hold back, although he made about as much sense as his protegee.
“He ran past me earlier. I mean, he literally RAN past me, so… Look, he’s a great guy. He’s a black belt under [my cousin] Renzo Gracie. I don’t know the guy that well, personally, but I’m gonna tell you guys something right now… Nick Diaz missed a press conference and he’s here and [he] fought,” Gracie sort of explained. “The guy that went to the press conference didn’t fight. That’s all I gotta say about it. Nick…Yeah, he got kicked out, he’s this…he’s the bad guy… We didn’t go to what Nick called, ‘the beauty pageant,’ but come fight night you guys saw what he’s made of and he showed up and he did everything he had to and the guys that made the press conference, they weren’t here tonight, so you be the judge. You know what I mean?”
No, we don’t know what you mean since it makes no sense. So let us get this straight, somehow GSP faked an injury to get out of fighting Nick, even though he was scheduled to face Carlos Condit when the injury occurred. Wait, what?!