(Come on bro, the handicapped kid falling off his crutches in the middle of the road wasn’t *that* funny…)

BJ Penn on Hardcore Sports Radio, via MMA Mania:

BOOM. You know, if this whole fighting thing doesn’t work out, Penn has a future as an insult comic; he’s got the rhythm down perfectly. Can’t wait to see what other parting words the Prodigy has on the last episode of UFC Primetime, which airs this Wednesday on Spike TV. Assuming he was actually around for the the third episode’s taping, that is — and you can never tell with these hot-blooded Hawaiians.

St. Pierre‘s hype-building style is a little more reserved, but he still slips his shots in when he can. Check out the interview video below, where he brings out the classic "he have said a lot of bad thing about me" chestnut that worked so well for him before his second fight with Matt Serra, and clarifies that he’s also willing to fight Penn to the death, should it come to that. Damn…whoever’s reffing Saturday’s main event better make sure they don’t fall asleep on the job.

Though last night’s episode of UFC Primetime opened with BJ Penn expressing frustration about the way he was portrayed in episode 1, it didn’t show him actually quitting the production and storming off or anything. In fact, the supposed tension wasn’t reflected at all after the opening scene. Episode 2 took a closer look at Penn and St. Pierre’s training camps and families. We see Penn’s new daughter, and his new nephew — the fifth member of the Penn clan to be named "Jay Dee." Meanwhile up north, GSP’s grizzled black-belt father shows up to his training camp, and we get a small glimpse of the effect that the elder St. Pierre had on his son’s life. Notably, there was no Dana White whatsoever in this episode, which I guess means he has more important things to do than babysit the lightweight champ. The third and final episode of UFC Primetime: St. Pierre vs. Penn airs next Wednesday. Will BJ show up for it?

("I never thought I’d meet someone who enjoyed licking people’s blood as much as I do. Thanks eHarmony!" Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Well this isn’t good. Displeased with his portrayal as a spoiled brat on last week’s debut episode of UFC Primetime, BJ Penn has responded by…acting like a spoiled brat. According to MMA Junkie:

As on HBO’s boxing series 24/7 — from which Primetime takes many cues — the fighters on the UFC hype-show are set up as dueling opposites right from the beginning. Georges St. Pierre is the tireless hard-worker who struggled for everything he has and now enjoys wearing expensive suits, while Penn is the blessed-from-birth party-boy who sees no problem in taking five days off from training three weeks before the fight of his life, and generally prefers the RVCA t-shirt and shorts look. Obviously, those characterizations are exaggerated to create drama for the show — I don’t think anyone really believes that Penn isn’t taking this fight seriously — but nevertheless they got under the Prodigy’s skin and now he’s pulling the ultimate diva move and throwing a wrench into the UFC’s new multi-million dollar promotional tool.

Episode 2 of UFC Primetime airs tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Spike TV, and the third and final episode will likely air next Wednesday, with or without Penn’s participation. We’re more concerned about the mental distraction that Penn might be facing at this point. A week ago he was a happy-go-lucky dude, catching some rays in Kona. Now he’s dodging furious phone calls from Dana White, while MMA fans across the country are calling him a lazy little punk. Will he be able to keep all of that out of his head on the 31st? Or is this a manufactured move to draw even more heat behind the matchup?

(‘To the death, Georges.  To the death.  Right after I get back from vacation.’)

As if you couldn’t tell from the high production values in last night’s debut episode of “UFC Primetime” on Spike TV, that thing didn’t come cheap.  The pricetag for the entire series is $1.7 million, which is a lot when you consider that your run-of-the-mill “Countdown” show only costs about $200,000.  But judging by the ratings numbers from last night’s premiere episode, it may prove to be worth it.

MMA Payout reports that the show drew nearly 1.5 million viewers (1,494,000 to be exact), according to ratings estimates.  In case you’re curious how that compares to the “Countdown” ratings, the best that show ever managed to draw in its first airing was 782,000 viewers.  That means “UFC Primetime” drew nearly twice as well as the best “Countdown” ever, and it has the added benefit of being a recurring series, so we can see how many of those people come back for more next week.

But here’s the real question: will the high ratings translate into big pay-per-view buys?  Probably.  “Countdown” ratings have proven to be a fairly decent barometer for how a given PPV event will sell, and these kinds of numbers should give the UFC reason to be very optimistic about the potential for UFC 94.  Then again, Georges St. Pierre-B.J. Penn II was bound to be a huge event anyway, so it will be difficult to say how much “Primetime” helped.

Either way, as long as the UFC is putting out something this good, and as long as they keep employing our boy Ariel Helwani (who is hopefully seeing a big chunk of that $1.7 million, because we need to borrow some cash to cover our gambling losses after UFC 92), we aren’t complaining.  Let’s just hope this success means more “Primetimes” in the future.

(Photo courtesy of FightNewsExtra.)

— Josh Koscheck, who faces Paulo Thiago at UFC 95 on February 21st, has inked a 20-month contract extension with the UFC. Said Kos: "The UFC is the only show in town. If I wasn’t with them I would be a struggling fighter looking for work in a struggling country…I want to fight five to six times this year. I’ll be very unhappy if the UFC can’t get me fights."

— BJ Penn’s head trainer Rudy Valentino took offense to Dana White’s accusations that BJ Penn isn’t taking training seriously, as shown on the debut episode of UFC Primetime. "He makes it out to be that [BJ] is on vacation, not training and not taking [the fight] seriously. This fight is the most serious fight of all time. We’re not playing around…[Dana] will pull out drama in anything he does. He’s not a drama queen, he’s a drama king. [Dana] didn’t understand what we have to do….because he’s not a fighter. We don’t want [BJ] burning out or peaking at the wrong time."

— A lightweight match between Melvin Guillard and Octagon newcomer Ronnys Torres is slated for UFC Fight Night 18 (April 1st, Nashville). Torres is a 14-1 veteran of Jungle Fight and Shooto Brazil who works out with the Nova Uniao camp. Guillard, who had to pull out of UFC 90 due to a probation violation, last competed at UFC 86 in July, where he scored a 36-second knockout over Dennis Siver.

— Tyson Griffin will also compete on the April 1st card, for the first time since his unanimous decision loss to Sean Sherk in October; his opponent hasn’t yet been confirmed.

— For many young mixed martial artists, being picked for the cast of The Ultimate Fighter is a dream come true. For Tom Egan and John Hathaway, it’s something to be avoided at all costs.

(Props: MMA Payout)

According to a press release sent out earlier this afternoon, UFC 94 in Las Vegas on January 31 is officially sold out.  Sorry, suckers.  But what did you expect with this much hype?  

As if the “UFC Primetime” series on Spike TV wasn’t enough to help push interest in the Georges St. Pierre-B.J. Penn fight to an all-time high, the UFC has also managed to get GSP on the cover of the next Men’s Fitness.  Look at him up there, looking all suave and airbrushed, helping us all get rid of our holiday guts.  Whoever the son of a bitch is who stole the buttons off his shirt is sure in for an ass-whippin’ though.  Wouldn’t want to be that guy. 

(Even more badass than AVP. Props: TheGARV)

It’s good to see the UFC stepping up their poster-game. The above promo image for UFC 94 (January 31st, Las Vegas) is a massive improvement from their previous artistic works — and it’s also a sign of how seriously the UFC is taking the promotion of this match. The premiere of "UFC Primetime: St. Pierre vs. Penn" will go down tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Spike, and from what we hear, it’ll be a truly first-class, must-see production. And if that doesn’t get you psyched, just listen to this killer jam from TheGARV. I smell megahit.

FYI, the full card for "St. Pierre vs. Penn 2" was finalized last Friday. To refresh you…

MAIN CARD
Georges St. Pierre vs. BJ Penn (for welterweight title)
Lyoto Machida vs. Thiago Silva (LHW)
Stephan Bonnar vs. Jon Jones (LHW)
Karo Parisyan vs. Dong Hyun Kim (WW)
Nate Diaz vs. Clay Guida (LW)

UNDERCARD
Jon Fitch vs. Akihiro Gono (WW)
Manny Gamburyan vs. Thiago Tavares (LW)
Chris Wilson vs. John Howard (WW)
Jake O’Brien vs. Christian Wellisch (HW)
Matt Arroyo vs. Dan Cramer (WW)

(Respect the tights, or lose the fight.)

Man, you people do have inquisitive minds, don’t you?  Not only do you have a ton of questions, some of you even write whole, coherent paragraphs while asking them.  The least we can do is try and provide you with some answers in another edition of Ask the Potato.

Got a question of your own?  Head on over to the forums (particularly this thread) and let us know.  Go on, don’t be shy.  Remember your first-grade teacher, the one who said there’s no such thing as stupid questions?  Well she was just killing time until happy hour, so forget everything she told you. 

I hear so much about "The Best Pound-for-Pound" fighter. Is this really a legit "title" of worth or just a lot of "hooey"? Is it really, and I mean REALLY, a legit argument to crown someone the best PFP fighter? – Old, Bald, & Irish

Is it a lot of hooey (interesting word choice, OB&I)?  Yeah, basically.  Not only is it not an actual title in the sense that it can be won and defended, it’s also based on subjective judgments and is ultimately a pointless exercise.  But you know what else?  It’s fun.  So that’s why we keep doing it.

The concept of the pound-for-pound title is generally attributed to boxing observers who wanted a way to celebrate “Sugar” Ray Robinson’s greatness.  He was a middleweight, and the boxing world has always revolved around the heavyweights, even more so back then.  So they started calling Robinson the pound-for-pound best boxer, mostly as a way of giving him the credit they thought he deserved.

In the MMA world, we don’t have the same problem.  We love all our fighters, and not just the big boys.  But we keep the concept alive because it gives us something to argue about, and because – much like chaos moves toward order and order toward chaos – the day we created weight classes was also the day we started trying to imagine what it would be like without them.  

In other words, don’t take it too seriously.  Pound-for-pound rankings are more a thought experiment than anything else.  And we all know Anderson Silva wins any p4p argument, anyway.

im a Norifumi Yamamoto and Shinya Aoki fan. is there any possiblity that they’ll fight in the US and i was wondering if ufc (aoki) and wec (yamaoto) are interesed in them when their contracts are up. and also when are their contract r up? – eat my buns

(Photo courtesy of JacksonsMMA.com)

Greg Jackson wants to get one thing straight: he did not start the nipple tweak.  He doesn’t endorse it and doesn’t seem to understand it any more than the rest of us, and frankly he’s getting a little tired of being associated with the idea of grown men pinching their own nipples on TV.  And yet, as long as his fighters keep winning with it, he’s resigned to the fact that it may not be going anywhere.

This is just one of the fascinating topics we covered in our exclusive talk with trainer Greg Jackson.  Read on and see what else he had to say.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with me Greg.  I know you must be busy with so many different guys fighting in different organizations.  Tell me, what’s a typical month like for you?  Like the next thirty days, who have you got fighting?

Well let’s see, in the next thirty days we’ve got Donald Cerrone fighting in the WEC in San Diego, and then immediately after that we’ve got Georges St. Pierre defending his title against BJ Penn in Vegas on the 31st, and the after that I don’t have anyone until Nate Marquardt fighting in England on February 21st.  After that it heats up again in March.

Does it ever get hard to keep track of so many different guys and their different game plans and strategies?

It’s my job.  It’s like anything.  If you’ve got a long day ahead of you, you’ve got a long day.  I don’t do anything else.  I don’t manage.  I just train guys and make sure they’re following their own personal growth plan and at the same time that they’re training specifically for their opponent.  That’s all I do all day long.  Sometimes it seems overwhelming, like when I step back and realize I’ve got eleven different game plans working, but as long as I take it one at a time it’s not a big deal.

B.J. Penn keeps insisting that the only reason he lost to GSP the first time was because he gassed out, and says that won’t happen again.  What do you think when you hear some of the stuff he says?

Yep, Arlovski and Penn are still getting their Internet self-promotion on. Episode three of Arlovski 360: On the Road to Reckoning focuses on the Pitbull’s mental game, though the clip is really just a collection of people talking about how awesome Andrei is. Which is kind of ironic considering Loretta Hunt’s speech about how surrounding yourself with people who tell you how awesome you are is actually bad for your development. (The next episode is titled "The Entourage," which also doesn’t bode well.) Interesting fact: The Morgan Freeman-esque narrator in the Arlovski 360 series is Greg Hollimon, best known for his role as Principal Onyx Blackman in Strangers With Candy. Well, it was interesting to me, anyway.

Below: The intro to the sixth installment of The BJPenn.com Show, which kicks off with a recap of the first three fights in the Beatdown Challenge, visits the Prodigy in training, features the last Beatdown quarterfinal matchup between Chris "Red Bull" Willems and "Dirty" Dave Moreno, and introduces us to another "Pretty Wahine." Segments 2-5 of this episode can be found here. Is it annoying that you have to watch the episode in five separate clips? Yes it is. But BJPenn.com doesn’t play by your rules.

The best reason to tune in to HDNet’s Inside MMA has always been to watch Bas Rutten act like a spastic, free-associative maniac. The above clip from the show’s "Best of 2008" episode collects Bas’s craziest moments, from his heroin-addict pantomimes to his beloved Tony Montana impression. If him and Robin Williams ever met, the world might explode. Check out the latest episode this Friday at 9 p.m., as Renato Sobral, Vitor Belfort and Carlos Condit join Bas and Kenny in the studio.

Here’s the extended trailer for UFC 94: St. Pierre vs. Penn 2 (January 31st, Las Vegas). BJ Penn delivers the money line in their segment: "If Jon Fitch reminds [St. Pierre] of the Terminator, he’s gonna think I’m God." Later, in the Lyoto vs. Thiago segment, Dana White cackles about how Tito Ortiz couldn’t land anything on Machida in his last fight, while Rogan gets enthusiastic about Machida’s karate skills. We also get to hear Machida pronounce "with Tito" as "wiffa Cheeto," which is always good for a laugh.

After the jump: Mark Coleman says he’ll have a strength advantage against Mauricio Rua at UFC 93, while Rua looks forward to showing the Hammer what a healthy Shogun is capable of.

#5: Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Sure, the pacing was a little shaky, and the picture quality for the pay-per-view broadcast was kind of dark, and apparently some of you don’t think that Megadeth’s Rust in Peace is one of the most kickass records ever released. But you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Affliction’s debut MMA show gave us a supernova of heavyweight star power, featuring Fedor Emelianenko’s 36-second destruction of Tim Sylvia, Andrei Arlovski’s beatdown of Ben Rothwell, and Josh Barnett’s redemptive KO of Pedro Rizzo; elsewhere on the card, we got to see Matt Lindland, Babalu Sobral, Vitor Belfort and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira in action. The organization has since turned into a bit of a shit-show, but with Banned, they gave us nearly everything we could have hoped for.

#4: UFC 87: Seek and Destroy, 8/9/08

(Photo courtesy of ESPN)

The UFC’s visit to Minneapolis proved the following…
— Brock Lesnar is an absolute beast. His takedowns can’t be stopped, and his punches tend to break facial bones. He will mock you after he beats you.
— Kenny Florian is a fantastic fighter, and worthy of a title shot; Roger Huerta maybe had a little more hype than substance.
— Demian Maia is one of the most talented submission specialists in MMA, in any organization, in any weight class. His choke-out of Jason MacDonald gave him his third-consecutive Submission of the Night bonus.
— Ben Saunders might actually be a contender one day.
— Jon Jones is athletic and explosive. I’m sorry, but the clichés are true sometimes.
— Jon Fitch is one tough son-of-a-bitch.
— If you’re fighting Georges St. Pierre, tough ain’t enough.

(Props: MMA Mania)

The UFC has confirmed the full lineup for UFC 94: St Pierre vs. Penn 2 (January 31st, Las Vegas), and you’ll be pleased to learn that it’s nearly as stacked as this Saturday’s "Ultimate 2008." So stacked, in fact, that Jon Fitch’s fight against Akihiro Gono is slated for the undercard, and may not be televised. Could this be the UFC’s passive-aggressive punishment for the video game licensing agreement drama that led to Fitch being fired for a day? Fitch/Gono does seem more main-card-worthy than Bonnar/Jones, after all. Anyway, check out the lineup below and draw your own conclusions…

Main Card
Georges St. Pierre vs. BJ Penn (for welterweight championship)
Lyoto Machida vs. Thiago Silva (LHW)
Stephan Bonnar vs. Jon Jones (LHW)
Karo Parisyan vs. Dong Hyun Kim (WW)
Nate Diaz vs. Clay Guida (LW)

Undercard
Jon Fitch vs. Akihiro Gono (WW)
Manny Gamburyan vs. Thiago Tavares (LW)
Chris Wilson vs. John Howard (WW)
Jake O’Brien vs. Christian Wellisch (HW)
Matt Arroyo vs. Daniel Cramer (WW)

Related: Georges St. Pierre has been named Sportsnet.ca’s 2008 Canadian Athlete of the Year, after taking in 89% of fans’ votes. GSP beat out wheelchair racer Chantal Petitclerc, Calgary Flames captain Jarome Iginla, Minnesota Twins first-baseman Justin Morneau, and tennis player Daniel Nestor. Said St. Pierre: “It’s an honor for me to have this award and being the first MMA guy to receive something like this…I want to be a good Canadian ambassador for the sport and represent MMA well."

(There may be only one man on earth who can make the Santa hat look cool.)

I don’t want much this holiday season.  Well, besides that Red Ryder BB Gun I ask for every year.  And a pony.  But there are some fights I’d like to see in 2009, and while I don’t think that mall Santa I tried to talk to is going to be any help (let’s just say it got heated and we both said some things we didn’t really mean), I’m holding out hope that the powers that be will hear my pleas and make some of these happen.  

Here’s my wish list of ten fights for 2009.  Some are very likely.  Some are just barely feasible.  But I tried to stay away from the downright impossible, hence the absence of Fedor vs. The Highlander.  Feel free to let me know all about what’s on your list in the comments section:

1. Anderson Silva vs. Georges St. Pierre: Whether GSP beats Penn or not (magic eight ball says, “all signs point to yes,”) this has the potential to be the UFC’s biggest superfight ever.  They have precious few opportunities to settle pound-for-pound debates, but this is their best shot.  If MMA becomes legal in New York this year, as it probably will, this fight could do a Jay-Z and sell out the Garden in a day.

2. B.J. Penn vs. Kenny Florian: Perhaps no fighter in the UFC has improved so much by sheer force of will as KenFlo.  Penn is the lightweight champ, and he deserves to be, which is why I really wish he’d stop chasing fights in other weight classes and set his sights on defending that title.  Winning a belt is great, but defending it is how you cement your status as a dominant champ.  Penn probably beats Florian in a tough fight, but there’s only one way to find out.

3. Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett: If he beats Arlovski, this is the only realistically possible bout for Fedor that would still be compelling.  I know they’re friends and all, but Affliction is starting to feel like a narrowing path leading only to this fight.  Hopefully all parties concerned – Affliction, Barnett, Fedor, Fedor’s management team – can hold it together long enough to make it happen.

(Great fighter, but he’s absolutely terrible at rock-paper-scissors.)

During a Q & A session in Fayetteville, N.C. to hype up tonight’s “Fight for the Troops” card, Dana White revealed that Thiago Alves is going to get the next crack at the welterweight strap after the Georges St. Pierre-B.J. Penn bout at UFC 94, and it doesn’t matter who’s got it around their waist at the time:

"He’s next in line for a title shot. If GSP beats B.J. Penn, then (Alves) fights GSP. If B.J. Penn wins, then he fights B.J. And then he’d have to defend that title for a while before I let him move up and try to fight Anderson."

Sounds like we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves.  The first thing Alves would have to do before any of this can happen is make weight for a 170-pound title fight.  That means no one-pound allowance, so he might as well start weaning himself off the Creamsicles right now (but OMG they’re so good!!!!).

This also means that a potential GSP-Anderson Silva bout is but a very distant dream, as St. Pierre would have to beat Penn, then beat Alves a few months later before we could even talk about that superfight.  If Penn wins, it will continue to screw up the lightweight division, as he’ll be expected to fight Alves and poor, patient Kenny Florian – that is, if the UFC allows him to try and defend both titles, which they shouldn’t.

I’m just saying, a lightweight tournament for a vacant 155-pound title sure sounds fun, doesn’t it?

(Props: MMA Mania)

Nothin’ like a good old vanity project. Here’s the first episode of The BJPenn.com Show, which follows "the greatest mixed martial artist in the world" as he does publicity appearances and chills with the fam. Picture Dana White’s video blogs but with much-higher production values and a bikini-clad host who looks like an off-brand Brooke Hogan. Good on Penn for having the resources to make an ego-stroking informercial for himself. (Between the chick narrator and the reverent tone, it kind of reminded me of the John Holmes documentary Exhausted, which was parodied to amazing effect in Boogie Nights.) Looking forward to that pretty Wahine contest!

After the jump: The first official trailer for UFC 94: St. Pierre vs. Penn II.

(How ’bout a nice Hawaiian Punch? Image courtesy of ko.susumug.com.)

"After holding the welterweight title once, I was like, I need it again, I need that welterweight title one more time, and look, I get to beat one of the best fighters of all time to do it. The opportunity is just trememdous…I’m going to crush him, don’t worry guys." — The ever-confident BJ Penn predicts the outcome of his UFC 94 superfight against Georges St. Pierre during a couple of recent Hawaiian TV appearances.

"Sean Sherk, that’s a fight I would love to take. That fight is one of the ones I really want to show everyone how far I’ve come. My wrestling’s a lot better than that and I’m going to continue to get better at it…[A rematch] would be ten times better and I believe with a different result." — Kenny Florian gives MMA Weekly the old "I’m not the same fighter I was back then" line. Ken-Flo is content to wait for BJ Penn as he chases his welterweight championship dream, but if Penn’s hiatus goes on for too long, Florian would be open to avenging a past defeat.

"A [Rich] Franklin vs. [Michael] Bisping fight would be amazing. I’d love to fight him. But I’d love to fight Henderson too. They’re household names and legends of the sport and it would be an honour and a privilege to fight one of them. I think I stack up well against them…I think I can beat both of them. It wouldn’t be easy, but my confidence is growing with every fight." — Michael Bisping talks to The Sun about who he’s eyeing for his next match. For the record, Bisping thinks Franklin will have the edge on Henderson during their fight in January. 

After the jump: The gloves come off and the talk gets trashy.

(Props: MMA Mania)

As Georges St. Pierre explains in his latest blog post for Yardbarker:

Thursday a.m. I went to a radio show with BJ and they gave me a taste of Hawaiian cuisine. In the beginning when I took my bite — before I swallowed it they told me it was cat. So I right away spit it out because I thought it was true. And then after they told me it was a joke. It was pork — a piece of pork in pasta — it was pretty good.

Quite a good sport, that GSP. Some other highlights from his blog…

— "I was sitting right next to Brock Lesnar’s parents [at UFC 91]. They are very nice guys — I was expecting his parents to be very tall and very big, you know? But they’re normal size — I mean they’re tall, but not as tall as Brock. We had a good talk, and I really had a good time with them."

— "At night we went to the Maple Leafs game. It was very funny because they made me do an announcement on the screen in front of everybody in the Air Canada Center with a Maple Leafs jersey. I said ‘To the Count of Three, I want everybody to get very noisy’. Then the crowd went nuts, they applaud me. When the camera went off me, I sat down and took my jersey off. And when I was taking my jersey off, the camera came back on me and the crowd started booing me because they know I’m from Montreal and I’m a Montreal Canadiens fan. I thought it was very funny."

To read the rest, click here.

(Props: Yardbarker.com)

Holy crap, you guys. Here’s the first trailer for Never Surrender, which stars Georges St. Pierre, Anderson Silva, BJ Penn, Heath Herring, and Quinton Jackson. Judging from the preview, the movie seems to be about UFC stars kicking people. But according to the plot summary on IMDb, there’s more to it than that:

Never Surrender is an erotically charged [Ed. note: seriously?], controversial action-thriller set in the world of underground street fighting where an MMA fighter who has been drawn into the world by an erotic [Ed. note: there's that word again!] and sexy promoter, quickly realizes that there is no way out, other than death.

Erotic and sexy, huh? Might this mysterious promoter be based on Gary Shaw, perhaps? Never Surrender is written and directed by Hector Echavarria, and will hit theaters in the Spring. Someday a smart filmmaker will make a good movie about above-ground street fighting, but for now this will have to do.

After the jump: A new promo for WEC 37, where Frank Mir talks about what a beast Miguel Torres is. The clip they show at 0:39-0:42 is just one of the reasons that Torres’s most recent fight against Yoshiro Maeda was immediately hailed as a fight-of-the-year candidate.

(Let’s try this again, “Ace”, this time with a little enthusiasm.)

Despite the fact that UFC 93 and 95 are taking place in Dublin and London respectively, they will not air for free on Spike TV, reports MMA Rated. Does that mean you’re going to have to pay more of your rapidly dwindling cash to see an event that goes live in the middle of the afternoon? Either that or wait until the videos hit the internet, and for some reason it’s considered “troubling behavior” for me to drink in front of my computer at ten o’clock on a Sunday morning, even though it’s perfectly acceptable to do it in front of the TV on a Saturday. I blame this Puritanical society.

The explanation for why this is happening centers around Spike TV’s production budget. Broadcasting these overseas events is costly, and since both UFC 93 and 95 take place within the first two months of 2009, that would mean blowing a big portion of their budget in the first quarter. This, my friends, is a side effect of the UFC going global.

So now we’re looking at three pay-per-views in the first sixty days of the new year from the UFC, plus another one on January 24 from Affliction. I don’t know what your disposable income looks like these days, but it sure seems like someone’s got to lose in this scenario. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you could only afford two of these events without being forced to make extra money by letting your creepy neighbor install that webcam he keeps talking about. What’s it gonna be: Fedor-Arlovski (Affliction), Franklin-Henderson (UFC 93, with a side order of Coleman-Rua), Penn-St. Pierre (UFC 94), or Liddell-Silva (UFC 95, hopefully)? As a bonus question, how important will the undercards of said events be in your decision-making?

(Click the image for the press conference video. Image courtesy of MMA Mania.)

In advance of a pair of publicity appearances in Toronto (today at the Scotiabank Theatre) and Honolulu (Friday at the Waikiki Shell), Dana White, BJ Penn, and Georges St. Pierre held a press conference in Las Vegas to begin spreading the word about the Penn/St. Pierre superfight at UFC 94 (January 31st, Las Vegas). MMA Weekly has footage of the press conference here.

As you’ll see, the vibe between the fighters is very respectful, with neither man harping on the result of their first meeting in 2006, where St. Pierre got his hand raised in a split decision but was clearly worse for the wear. For both Penn and St. Pierre, this fight is strictly about cementing a legacy, and determining who is really the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. (I guess Anderson Silva is chopped liver?)

Penn still plans on defending both belts if he takes the welterweight strap from GSP, but he has no idea how often he would defend each title. He also credits the small-man-beats-big-man theory of Brazilian jiu-jitsu for his desire to challenge larger opponents, though Dana White puts his foot down at the idea of a Penn/Anderson Silva superfight. Anyway, the opening remarks are in the can — expect more heated debate in the future.

(“The belt, the flannel, and the bible — only these three things are sacred.” Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

In an effort to get more of you bastards walking around as human billboards for CagePotato.com, we’re going to start giving away CP “Hall of Fame” t-shirts to our two favorite comments of the week. (Well, out of the ones we actually read, at least.) This week’s honorees are:

Krazy Kracker on “Paulo Filho Has No Excuse”: This is no laughing matter you guys. Earlier tonight Filho was complaining of chest pains and was rushed to the nearest emergency room. After several tests doctors have comfirmed that instead of a heart, Paulo has a gigantic clitoris pumping pure estrogen through his veins. The flow of estrogen can only be slowed by wearing sleeveless flannel shirts and resting on your back once every minute. Usually cutting weight is no problem if he can time his fights into that five day window all clitoris owners have once a month, where he can purge himself of roughly ten pounds of pesky blood, but Hurricane Ike threw a wrench in his plans. Without being whipped into a PMS induced rage, we saw his true colors… a typical moody bitch, yelling at someone to do chores from the other room, looking for rich men to lay at MMA events and falling into missionary position whenever a man gets within three feet. A sad day for the sport indeed. According to Filho’s manager “All we need is four days, a lot of chocolate, sweatpants and a copy of Sleepless in Seattle and Paulo will be back in the cage the THIRD week of any month you’d like.”

MMA Scraps dug up the above video of Randy Couture‘s first-ever UFC fight, which took place at UFC 13 (5/30/97; Augusta, Georgia) against Tony “The Viking” Halme, a former pro-wrestler who made a completely unsuccessful run at being a mixed martial artist. This was Halme’s fourth and final pro MMA fight after three losing appearances in Rings. After Couture made short work of Halme, he went on to score a TKO over Steven Graham the same night, winning the event’s heavyweight bracket.

Below: I don’t want to call BJ Penn a bitch, because clearly he isn’t — I mean, his record speaks for itself. I’m just saying that the sounds he makes while putting up 150 pounds in the gym are somewhat bitch-like. He’s like the Maria Sharapova of free-weights. But I do like the GSP-directed dig his wrestling coach gets in at the end: “You don’t have Hollywood agents reprensentin’ ya, man. We’re just normal guys that like to beat somebody up.” Bonus: Our pal Dewey at Yardbarker filmed a ten-part MMA tutorial video series with cage-legend Frank Shamrock. Part 8 (“Leg Locks 101″) is after the jump; the rest can be seen here.

(Penn and St. Pierre during their first fight at UFC 58 in 2006, which GSP won by split decision. Photo courtesy of Brawl Sports.)

Though Dana White has previously stated that the UFC 94 superfight between BJ Penn and Georges St. Pierre would be a non-title bout, Dave Meltzer is reporting that the UFC has changed their mind, and GSP’s welterweight title will be on the line. This would give Penn the opportunity to be the first UFC fighter to hold championships in two different weight divisions at the same time. Of course, he’ll have to win a five-round fight against St. Pierre to do so, which ain’t gonna be easy. UFC 94 is slated to go down in Las Vegas on January 31st, and will also feature the much-anticipated light-heavyweight scrap between Lyoto Machida and Thiago Silva. In other UFC news…

— If Anderson Silva makes it out of Saturday’s fight against Patrick Cote unscathed, he could possibly fight again at UFC 92 on December 27th, a card that’s already stacked with heavyweight and light-heavyweight title fights, as well as the match between Quinton Jackson and Wanderlei Silva. Josh Koscheck may have a quick turnaround as well.

— Brock Lesnar will be profiled in a segment on ESPN’s E:60 tonight at 7 p.m. ET., in which he discusses, among other things, his disappointment in not making it in the NFL and his minor addiction to booze and pills.

(Oh. No. She. Didn’t.)

- Matt Lindland’s MMA career now fodder for political smear campaign. (MMA Payout)

- Dana White says Anderson Silva could fight GSP, but never B.J. Penn. (The Sun)

- Little Nog is headed to Japan again, this time for Sengoku. (Fight Ticker)

- Chris Horodecki considering a fight in Japan while he waits for Affliction II. (MMA Weekly)

- Tim Sylvia headed to Dream or Sengoku? Really? (Nightmare of Battle)

- Fedor could fight Arlovski next, or Barnett. Who knows!? (MMA Fanhouse)

- Chuck Liddell turned away from big shot nightclub, and he’s not pleased. (TMZ)

- Robert Drysdale talks MMA debut. (Tatame)

- A movie trailer that is better than most actual movies. (Holy Taco)

- Life after Lehman Brothers. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Seven most underrated hot chicks on TV. (Screen Junkies)

- Brtual broken bottle beatdown. (Nothing Toxic)

Since it’s Labor Day and I’ve already spent too much time going through your submissions for our latest caption contest — fine work, by the way — we’re just going to do this old-school style, where I pick two winners and then you bitch about them mightily in the comments section. But first, the honorable mentions:

mayhem420: Wait…didn’t Kendall Grove say that guns were for white people?

ruckus: Sean Sherk, you’re dead.

adam: Following months of hardcore training in Brazil, BJ Penn thinks he has found a weakness in Machida’s defense.

The Truth: Quick, what’s Hawaiian for “one-legged French Canadian”?

Aptninja: Um, okay, so…where is the carb?

jakey: The Penn is mightier than the sword

Cankly Carano: “Upon seeing this photo, Jim Lampley exclaimed, ‘See, I told you these barbarian ultimate fighters take knives and guns into their cages. Pathetic. No skill compared to the sweet science! …now where’s that bitch wife of mine? She needs a good smack across the face.’”

Horror Fighter: BJ Penn prepares a response for all CagePotato readers who consistently complain about “caption contest” winners.

And now the winners…

After arranging a visit by BJ Penn to his Army unit at Fort Lewis, MMA writer Kelly Crigger was inspired to dig deeper into the subculture of mixed martial arts, and find out what would compel a person to sacrifice all worldly comforts for the opportunity to beat up a stranger in a cage. Over the next year, he visited leading MMA camps including Team Quest, American Top Team, and Sityodtong, and interviewed fighters at every level of the game. The result is Title Shot: Into the Shark Tank of Mixed Martial Arts, which, no bullshit, is probably the most insightful and essential exploration of the MMA lifestyle that you’ll ever read. We highly suggest that you buy it, but you also have a chance to win a signed copy right here.

Check out the photo above — one of thousands that Crigger took during the preparation of his book — which shows The Prodigy at the Fort Lewis shooting range. (As Crigger explains: “We took him out to bust some caps, but he couldn’t learn to hold the weapon for shit.”) The two readers who provide the best captions in the comments section below will win a signed copy of Title Shot. Contest ends Sunday night at midnight ET; feel free to enter multiple times. Good luck…

(“I see you can ‘andle my riddum.”)

In an interview with Kevin Iole of Yahoo! Sports, Dana White confirmed that BJ Penn and George St. Pierre would have their rematch at the UFC’s Super Bowl weekend event on January 31st, 2009, in Las Vegas. GSP’s welterweight belt will be on the line.

White also confirmed that UFC 91 will be held November 15th in Portland, Oregon, and will indeed feature a lightweight bout between Kenny Florian and Joe Stevenson. (We can safely infer now that BJ Penn won’t be fighting again at the end of the year.) When asked about Wanderlei Silva’s next Octagon appearance, White would only say that the Axe Murderer probably wouldn’t be part of their December 27th event in Las Vegas — which could mean they’re still pushing for him to headline the Portland card against Quinton Jackson, or that they’re extending his hiatus until early ’09.

“We have nothing but big fights left for the rest of the year, but this is so crazy because there are so many of them,” White said. “We’re going to have a retreat on Monday to figure this all out.” Here’s what’s on the dry-erase board at this point…

UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta): Liddell/Evans, Franklin/Hamill, Parisyan/Yoshida, Henderson/Palhares

UFC Fight Night 15 (September 17th, Omaha): Diaz/Neer, Danzig/Guida, Alexander/Schafer, Lauzon/Bradley

UFC 89 (October 18th; Birmingham, England): Bisping/Leben, Machida/T. Silva, Jardine/Vera, Sokoudjou/Cane, Carwin/Wain

UFC 90 (October 25th, Chicago): A. Silva/Cote, Sanchez/Alves, Sherk/Griffin, Franca/Tibau

UFC 91 (November 15th, Portland): Florian/Stevenson

The Ultimate Fighter 8 Finale (December 13th, Las Vegas): no fights announced yet

UFC 92 (December 27th, Las Vegas): Nogueira/Mir

UFC 93 (January 31st, Las Vegas): Penn/St. Pierre

(Hey, remember this? Brutal.)

MMA Weekly is reporting that Kenny Florian and Joe Stevenson have agreed to face each other at a November 15th UFC event in Portland, Oregon. Florian’s unanimous decision over Roger Huerta on August 9th made it five straight wins for the Bostonian, while Stevenson last fought at UFC 86 in July, disposing of Gleison Tibau via guillotine choke.

I gotta be honest — I’m not feelin’ this matchup. Both guys have little to gain and a lot to lose from the outcome. If Florian wins, his position at the top of the lightweight ladder is unchanged, and he’s still next in line to face BJ Penn. If he loses, the UFC would be without a clear #1 contender, because it seems very unlikely that the UFC would want to set up Penn vs. Stevenson II anytime soon, considering how one-sided their first meeting was in January. I like Joe Daddy, and I wanted to see him built back up to the top incrementally; the Tibau fight was a great start. Most likely he’ll get torn up by Florian, and his stock will drop even further.

In other UFC news: Though Dana White announced that Mike Swick would be fighting on the UFC 90 card in October, Swick doesn’t think he’ll be ready to fight until December, as he’s still recovering from recent surgery on his elbow.

Just as Kenny Florian won’t be sitting on the bench until BJ Penn decides to give him a title shot, Penn also wants to get another fight in by the year’s end, even though Georges St. Pierre has said he doesn’t plan on returning to the Octagon until 2009. According to a report by MMA News, BJ’s brother JD has confirmed that the UFC’s lightweight champ is back in the gym and training for a fight in December, and his fight against GSP will likely be pushed back until February 2009 when the UFC holds it’s Superbowl Weekend card.

So maybe a Penn/Florian title fight at the end of the year is still a possibility? Then again, JD’s claim that BJ will fight in both late December (against TBA) and early February (against GSP) is so unlikely it’s barely worth discussing.

The good news is, the UFC’s year-end card could wind up being so stacked that it doesn’t even need a high-profile BJ Penn fight in the lineup. Besides the heavyweight title match between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Frank Mir, NBCSports has suggested that a superfight between Anderson Silva and Chuck Liddell as well as a light-heavyweight title match between Forrest Griffin and Wanderlei Silva are both outside possibilities. (It’s also been reported that the UFC is trying to set up a fight between Quinton Jackson and Wanderlei Silva for a November event, despite Silva’s preference to fight on the December card.)

Potentially related: If Tyson Griffin beats Sean Sherk, he wants Kenny Florian next.