(This will become relevant by the end of the article. Until then, let’s just bask in its glory.) 

We’re not sure if we’ve conveyed our feelings regarding middleweight contender Michael Bisping in such articles as “Michael Bisping Asshole Quote of the Day” or the sarcastically-titled “Michael Bisping, Most Understood Fighter in the UFC,” but suffice it to say, we aren’t too high on “The Count.” If you’re someone who appreciates a humble fighter who puts on entertaining fights each and every time they step into the octagon, chances are you aren’t too high on him either.

I can honestly say that I haven’t been outright entertained by a Bisping fight since he fought Wanderlei back at UFC 110, so perhaps he is the correct source to consult when determining whether a fight was boring or not. Luckily for us, Michael could only fit so much dickishness into his schedule each day, so he went and started a blog to make sure we could all be privy to this exact kind of information. In his most recent post, he took aim at Tim Boetsch and Alan Belcher, two fellow middleweights who came up short in somewhat disastrous performances at UFC 155.

We’ve collected all the best snippets, along with our running commentary in bold, after the jump. So join us as we honor (that’s code for “Spill Haterade on”) the nastiest hater since Silky Johnson, won’t you?

(Video courtesy of YouTube/WEEZER)

It’s a bittersweet week for both fans of War Machine and fans of War Machine’s Big House Blogs. The fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver is set to be released from jail on Friday, which means the only blogs we’re going to get from here on out (unless of course he ends back in the clink) will be about his training regimens, his married life and thoughts on the world. Something tells me that being behind bars contributed to how deranged some of his deep thoughts were the past year and it’s likely that being on the outside will change all that.

Let’s hope I’m dead wrong.

Until he proves me wrong, go ahead and savor your last instalment of War Machine’s Big House Blogs after the jump.

(Props: CageToday and "Juggo")

Our bro Ariel Helwani has landed his first big "get" at Versus.com — Jared Shaw, the stomach-tattooed uber-douche who acted as EliteXC Vice President during his father’s ill-fated promotional reign with the company. We scanned the interview hoping to find a quote in which Jared referred to himself in the third person, and Young Shaw did not disappoint. But before that, we were saddened to see $kala’s negative take on MMA blogs. (And after all we’ve done for you!) The whole thing is worth reading, but for now, check out this excerpt:

Don’t you wish more American fighters had quirky blogs where they detailed the hilarious minutiae of their lives? We’re stuck with the there-but-for-the-grace-of-God heaviness of Evan Tanner’s journal, while Akihiro Gono is complaining about his sexual frustration and Shinya Aoki is describing the pattern samples for his new tights. Anyway, Genki Sudo (of K-1 and Ninja Warrior fame) just updated his blog, Suki MMA translated, and we just wanted to share:

I had my birthday on Mar 9 and decided to buy something for me. The item I choose is a rolex watch. I went to see my parents and told them about buying it. My dad said, you did great in your 20′s and I will pay for it. I thought he is generous because of getting an influence of the metabolic syndrome. I thanked him and he asked me to tell everybody he bought my rolex.

Spread the word, Potato Nation — Genki didn’t pay for that watch himself.

PRIDE-vet turned UFC-welterweight Akihiro Gono recently had surgery to repair the hand injury that forced him to pull out of a bout with Jon Fitch at UFC 82. He wrote about the experience on his blog yesterday, and Suki MMA was kind enough to translate:

My operation went well and I left the hospital yesterday. I hope I recover soon. It was a 5 hours operation, cutting a part of bone in radius and transplanting it in my right hand. I have never been so tired and feeling destroyed like this time. It was extremely tough operation and I am having the worst pain ever after the operation. I almost gave up and ran away from everything. Although, I have nothing to do but fighting , so I continue to being MMA fighter.

I couldn’t sleep well because my right hand is in pain even if I take pain killer pills. I realized how hard to do everything by my left hand. I want to get married so bad now. I’m 33 years old and this is my first time to dream about getting a wife. I want someone who is attractive and respectful. I should be competitive to be chosen by my dream girl though.

Anyway, thank you for supporting me and my operation went well. After dinner, I will study English which is a part of my project to be an attractive guy.

Oh man. This is going to get him so much tail. “My project to be an attractive guy” — can we cast McConaughey and Hudson in this shit already?!

P.S.: I love how losing the use of his right hand is what compelled Gono to start thinking about getting a wife. Trust me dude, as long as old lefty is functional, single life isn’t that bad.

P.P.S.: “Pain Killer Pills” is an awesome band name.

P.P.P.S.: If anyone can translate Suki’s translation of “I should be competitive to be chosen by my dream girl though,” it would be a huge help. Broken English on blogs seems to be the theme of the day…