Following his UFC dismissal, Cody McKenzie — because he’s insane — took a 180-pound catchweight fight against a dude named Mark Dobie up in British Columbia, and won by first-round submission. Tomorrow, he’ll be competing in that Battlegrounds MMA eight-man welterweight tournament called by Chael Sonnen and JR. Today, McKenzie came in at 172.4 pounds on his first weigh-in attempt, so he went backstage, HAD A PINT OF GODDAMNED BLOOD SUCKED OUT OF HIM EW EW EW and made the 171-pound limit on his second attempt. McKenzie will be facing Brock Larson in the tournament’s quarterfinals.
I have no idea how this was allowed to happen. “Battlegrounds MMA One” is going down in Tulsa, Oklahoma, a state that has an actual athletic commission, which was supposed to be taking extra precautions to ensure the safety of the fighters in this potentially grueling single-elimination tournament. Were any commission members around while Cody was doing this? And for God’s sake, what did they do with the blood? Please tell me they didn’t just pour it down the toilet, where it could potentially affect the Tulsa water supply.
If there’s one thing that most MMA bloodbaths have in common, it’s that they are often long fought, back-and-forth battles that leave both fighters looking like a DMX album cover before all is said and done. There are exceptions, of course, like Sakuraba vs. Arona – where one fighter in particular does the bleeding and the other simply receives the runoff, so to speak — but even those fights are typically longer than five minute affairs.
The AFC 6 battle that took place between Jasmin Popara and. Ranis Ali Smajlovic over the weekend, however, contradicts everything we have come to know about MMA bloodbaths. This Slovenian horror film of a fight lasts approximately two minutes, yet manages to spill more blood than the hallway scene in Oldboy+ every MMA fight ever. We’ve poured beakers full of liquid into other beakers full of liquid and determined that there is no legitimate science to back just how quickly Smajlovic manages to excrete 2 gallons of blood onto his opponent’s torso. None. And did I mention we have beakers?
CagePotato Ban: Hemophiliacs being allowed to compete in MMA.
It’s caption contest time, and the winner takes all. Post a caption to the above photo in the comments section by Monday at midnight ET, and we’ll round up the best ones on Tuesday. The best one gets all four movie passes. Any questions? Now get crackin’…
10. Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Gonzaga
(UFC 74, 8/25/07)
At 44 years of age, Randy Couture was the one who was supposed to look busted up after his heavyweight championship match with 29-year-old Brazilian wrecking ball Gabriel Gonzaga. But in one of the greatest triumphs of his career, Couture broke down the bigger, younger fighter with his wrestling and dirty boxing. About three minutes into the first round, blood began to pour out of Gonzaga’s shattered nose, giving Randy’s back a nice, red coat. The steady flow interrupts the challenger’s breathing and vision, leading to a brutal ground-and-pound finish in the third.
9. Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith
(EliteXC: Unfinished Business, 7/26/08)
In the second round of their EliteXC middleweight championship do-over, Scott Smith nailed Robbie Lawler with a series of standing elbows that opened up an ugly gash on the top of Lawler’s head. With blood pouring out of the wound, Lawler turned up the intensity, doing his best to finish Smith before a doctor could stop the fight. About 90 seconds later, he succeeded — but not before a spray of “plasma” fell into commentator Mauro Ranallo’s lap. The video doesn’t really do it justice; you should also check out this photo from the fight, and this photo of the aftermath.
8. Chase Beebe vs. Eddie Wineland
(WEC 26, 3/24/07)
It may have been the most grisly demolition of a cauliflower ear in MMA history. Midway through a five-round bantamweight title match, challenger Chase Beebe dropped an elbow from the top that burst Eddie Wineland’s overripe right ear, causing it to spray blood several feet across the mat. Wineland, who had already suffered multiple cuts near his eyes from Beebe’s precision striking, soldiered on to the fifth-round bell with what appeared to be a gaping hole in the side of his head. Beebe took home the belt and Wineland hasn’t fought in the WEC since.
After the jump: Things really start to get disgusting.
HDNet brings us an absolute war between Jesse Forbes and Chris Camozzi for the “Fight of the Week.” If you like a bout that gets bloody early and only becomes more so before a surprise finish, then you are going to love this one. If you don’t like that, maybe you should check out a sport more your speed. How about women’s team handball?
In other HDNet news, Strikeforce’s October 3 event in Denver will air live on the cable network, MMA Weekly reported today. This is in addition to their late-night offering on NBC, which means Strikeforce is very quietly becoming one of the most visible MMA organizations on TV. No word yet as to whether their September event from the Playboy Mansion will make it on to TV, but we sure hope so. Purely because of the fights, of course.
In a remarkable display of balls, Tommy Speer dominated Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver in last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, despite an early cut that had full pints of blood squirting from his forehead. As Matt Serra shouted in his charming Lawn Guyland accent, “He’s bleedin’ like a pig, War!” Unfortunately for Team Serra, the fight would not be decided on blood loss alone.
Some questions I had after watching SpikeTV’s “The 25 Tuffest Moments of All Time”…
— Has Forrest Griffin ever made a TV appearance where his face wasn’t covered in scabs and bruises? It’s as if him and Stephan Bonnar showed up to the taping and the producers were like, “Alright, let’s get Stephan into makeup, pronto. Forrest, we’re going to need to lay into your face with a phone book for 15 minutes or so, then rub dirt in your hair. Cool? You’re gonna look super tough.” I know the dude fights for a living and all, but I have a feeling he engages in some high-risk behavior on the side. Just speculating, here. Or maybe his body just doesn’t heal as fast as the average person’s. Maybe he has the opposite of what Wolverine has. Poor guy…