(Photographic evidence that Sapp used to at least take a punch before calling it quits. Ah, the good old days.) 

There are only two things in this world that we here in the CP offices know to be true: Code Red is the without a doubt the best Mountain Dew spin-off of all time, and Bob Sapp will never win another fight. The bearer of perhaps the most ironic nickname in the sport already has two MMA fights lined up in May alone, but decided to kill some time last weekend by participating in a kickboxing match in Slovenia against Rok Strucl.

Though Sapp started off strong, meaning that he didn’t find a way to fake injury before the opening bell had finished resonating, what went down thereafter accomplished something we never thought possible: a new low for “The Beast.”

Join us after the jump for the video. 

Sometimes I think that Bob Sapp was sent to earth by the gods to teach us all that being scary-looking and talking tough means very little in a real fight against a real opponent.  And since the gods also have a sense of humor they forced him to appear in “Frankenhood.”  Judging from the betting lines, it seems like we all know by now that Sapp has nothing with which to threaten any decent heavyweight, particularly after the first two minutes of a fight.  So why even bother pretending that Sapp vs. Bobby Lashley is anything but a circus match?