(Seen here: Bob Sapp’s most legit fight in the past five years.) 

If you’ve followed this thing we call MMA for even a couple years now, then you’ve undoubtedly heard of the travesty to the sport that is Bob Sapp. If he were a band, the boys over at MetalSucks would refer to him as “A Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe,” which is perhaps the most appropriate label to place on someone who seems to be doing his damnedest to soil the metaphorical trousers of the sport we hold dear.

Possibly sent on a mission of mercy by the fellas over at Mitch and Murray, Ariel Helwani decided to bring Sapp onto his show, “The MMA Hour,” to dispel or confirm the general consensus that he has thrown most, if not all of his fights over the past four or five years. What started off as at least a coherent defense on Sapp’s part quickly spiraled into a smorgasbord of nonsensical rants and accusations punctuated by creepy, baritone laughter, before concluding with several futile attempts by “The Beast” to justify his pathetic existence through Youtube hits, or something like that. In other words, it was typical Bob Sapp.

Just take this gem, for instance, which actually came before Sapp decided to go full retard:

I will receive no damage to my body that will be long lasting for a small insignificant amount of cash. I think we’ve seen that now with examples with the NFL and the fact that some of these guys are coming back and saying, “Hey we want some money, we have brain damage.” I’m getting paid well underneath what a professional boxer would, or Manny Pacquiao. So I will, in no means ever, will I sustain long-lasting damage for a small paycheck. Never will that happen, never will “The Beast” ever have that happen.

Join us after the jump for the whole interview.

(Video props: YouTube/MMAVictor)

There’s nothing new about Bob Sapp losing a fight without dignity, but every week he seems to hone his craft as an MMA-Theatre master thespian. A typical Sapp fight consists of him lumbering in toward his opponent, waiting until he feels incidental contact, then feigning a tko until the ref halts the bout. Wash-Rinse-Repeat. But last night he may have sunk to a new low in his bout against Soa Palelei at Cage Fighting Championship 21.

Sapp starts off the bout by touching gloves –just like they do in *real* MMA bouts! Too cute!–then he ducks his head and charges meanders forward toward “The Hulk”. This is his opponent’s cue to tag him with something—anything–that could count as a landed blow and explain his fall to the canvas. To his surprise, Sapp makes it all the way to the opposite side of the cage with Palelei nowhere to be found. Stupefied, he does the only thing he knows how: he teeters over.

As a real fighter with real intentions of fighting, Palelei tries to partake in the ‘takedown’ but his help is completely unnecessary. Sapp is all too happy to let gravity ease his menacing frame down to the canvas. And so the Australian does his thing, pounding away at a turtled-up Sapp, while Sapp does his thing, turtling-up while getting pounded. Although this isn’t the first bout where Sapp has succumbed to a phantom punch, at least his previous opponents were somewhere in the general vicinity when he fell.

The new rules of the Bob Sapp Challenge™ await you after the jump.

(Look, he killed that thing fair and square, and whatever he decides to do with it is his business. / Props: The UG)

- UFC 146 Heavyweights Predict Strikeforce Grand Prix Final (Fightline)

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- Junior dos Santos, Frank Mir, and the Video Game Showdown That Wasn’t (MMAFighting)

- ‘Inside the Cage’ Unscripted #2: Casey and Cyrus Interview Pro Wrestling Legend Ricky Morton (MMAInsideTheCageTV)

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- Diablo 3′s Botched Launch: 3 Reasons Gamers Should Care (GameFront)

(The Wallaceberries taste like Wallaceberries!) 

With all the freak show greatness that comprised this past weekend, we all but forgot to report on some of the matchups that actually, you know, mattered. It’s kind of like when you went to Disney World with the intent of riding Space Mountain until you puked, but ended up stuck at the ring toss game all day because some ginger and his group of middle school friends called your form “faggy” and you HAD TO WIN THAT STUFFED DRAGON TO PROVE THEM WRONG. And we hate to say it, but Bob Sapp and Kimbo Slice will forever be the crappy carnival games that we simply cannot avoid.

In fact, while we were all watching “The Beast’s” record dip below the .500 mark at Saturday’s KSW-19 card (because somehow that just happened), there was a fight that took place earlier on the card that didn’t make us laugh and then immediately hang our heads in shame, believe it or not. We’re talking, of course, about Mamed Khalidov vs. Rodney Wallace. As we’ve stated before, Mamed Khalidov may be the best fighter out there not signed to a major promotion, and it kind of baffles us as to why. The Polish powerhouse’s record currently stands at 25-4, and over the past few years, he has quietly decimated every UFC washout that has crossed his path without batting an eye. Khalidov started out his 2011 season by adding to the legend of Irvin’s Curse, then rounded it out by scoring lightning quick submission victories over Matt Lindland and Jesse Taylor in successive bouts. But like a psychopathic Japanese girl after a mock casting audition, Khalidov is still waiting for that phone call.

Last weekend, he looked to make it four Zuffa vets in a row when he faced off against Rodney “Sho Nuff the Master” Wallace in a middleweight contest. As has become the standard for Khalidov, the bout featured a multitude of spinning based attacks and ended in less than two minutes.

Check out the brutal one punch-KO after the jump. 

Is there ANYTHING about this man that makes him unqualified to talk about the infinitely accelerating current of creativity? Didn’t think so.

If last night taught us anything, it’s that some things never change. Nick Diaz will be Nick Diaz. Kimbo Slice will crush cans. And literally anything that involves Bob Sapp will lack anything that resembles dignity. What a universe we live in.

But today is Mother’s Day, so I’m going to try to be somewhat positive for a few sentences. The good news to come out of this event is that Matt Horwich managed to snap a four fight skid with a third round TKO over Poland’s own Antoni Chmielewski, who was 22-8 coming into this fight. Horwich has always been an interesting character, sort of a non-juiced up hippy Ultimate Warrior. Even though he’s too crazy for most major promotions to take a chance on him (not to mention his pedestrian 27-21 record), he fits in just fine with KSW’s roster. That wouldn’t usually be intended as a compliment, but in whatever section of the multiverse Matt Horwich is from, it is.

Video of Horwich’s victory and the freak show that was Bob Sapp vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski after the jump.

(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.) 

As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.

But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.

And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.

Check out the video, along with the full contest details, after the jump. 

(Photographic evidence that Sapp used to at least take a punch before calling it quits. Ah, the good old days.) 

There are only two things in this world that we here in the CP offices know to be true: Code Red is the without a doubt the best Mountain Dew spin-off of all time, and Bob Sapp will never win another fight. The bearer of perhaps the most ironic nickname in the sport already has two MMA fights lined up in May alone, but decided to kill some time last weekend by participating in a kickboxing match in Slovenia against Rok Strucl.

Though Sapp started off strong, meaning that he didn’t find a way to fake injury before the opening bell had finished resonating, what went down thereafter accomplished something we never thought possible: a new low for “The Beast.”

Join us after the jump for the video. 

(Just so you know, Rolles is the one on the bottom.) 

Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the insane hope that Fedor Emelianenko would be the man to challenge Junior Dos Santos for the UFC Heavyweight title –all six of you– as the rumor currently circulating the MMA blogosphere has “The Last Emperor’s” potential opponent bar set a little…lower. Go figure.

Yes, according to none other than Rolles Gracie himself, via his Twitter, it looks like the other member of the Gracie clan to go one-and-done in the UFC is currently negotiating with M-1 Global to put the fight together this summer, stating:

 Where there is smoke there is fire. My manager is under negotiation with M1. We’re really close to make this fight against Fedor to happen.

Don’t get too excited, Rolles, we all know how tasking the typical M-1 negotiation can be.

(As with the Mona Lisa’s eyes, Thompson’s ear seems to just follow you around the room, doesn’t it?) 

Indian upstart promotion Super Fight League recently announced the pairing of James Thompson and former WWE star Bobby Lashley as the main event of its third card, which will also feature Trevor Prangley, Doug Marshall, and Zelg Galesic in action.

This is the point where we stop discussing the matchups at hand and get to the news you really need to know: Super Fight League is crashing and burning like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Josh Barnett couldn’t melt a plastic cup with his urine fast enough to destroy SFL, which is beginning to look like it will be but a distant memory by the end of the fiscal year. Despite the fact that viewership is free to anyone with a computer, internet access, and the ability to spell Youtube, SFL already seems to be on wobblier legs than River Phoenix outside The Viper Room (too soon?).

And it’s pretty clear why.

Heading into their first event, the India-based promotion showcased an emphasis on flare, throwing fancy promos and even their own theme song into the mix in an effort to spur interest in a sport that their country had yet to build the smallest of followings for. This was their first problem, a lack of awareness. Where Asian-based promotion OneFC has thrived thanks to both collaborative efforts with local promotions and a strong, preexisting fan base in the area they chose to promote within, Super Fight League’s co-chairmen, Raj Kundra and Sanjay Dutt, opted to rely on a combination of Bollywood celebrities and music industry execs to help promote a new sport that they themselves weren’t truly familiar with. In fact, many of the celebrities in attendance, and most of the 300,000 India-based Youtube viewers who managed to make the first card a slight success, where under the impression that MMA, and specifically SFL, consisted of over-the-top, WWE style antics and entertainment, largely due to how the promotion chose to well…promote themselves.

(This is approximately how you will feel after watching the video.) 

You know, for all the bizarre shenanigans Rampage Jackson seems to be getting himself into these days, he will never hold a candle to Bob Sapp. At this point in “The Beast’s” career, he has pretty much become a walking punchline in every sense of the word; a parody of a parody, if you will. And though it is easy to take shots at perhaps the lowest hanging fruit in the MMA landscape, we’re going to do it anyway. Let’s be honest, we follow Bob Sapp for the same reason that people watch reality television — to feel better about themselves afterward. He is the Troll 2 of mixed martial arts, a fighter so terrible that one only watches him participate out of a need to feel ironic. Why can’t we look away, you ask? Because white america has never felt less threatened by a 300 pound muscular black man in the history of its existence, and we like the feeling.

Clearly Sapp has begun to embrace this image to its fullest extent, for what else can one do when in the midst of what will likely become a record setting losing streak? If you don’t believe us, just check out the promo he made for his upcoming May 12th KSW 19 clash with Mariusz Pudzianowski, courtesy of IronForgesIron. In a word, it is a revelation.

(Detectid, did u no goin and you tell me do things I dun runnin?) 

Happy Monday, Potato Nation. Whether you spent the weekend letting out some built up anxiety or fighting your way out of retirement, we can all take solace in the fact that most of us probably emerged unscathed from what was a prank filled April Fools Day yesterday. I, for one, was not so lucky. You see, I was unaware that yesterday was in fact April Fools Day. My ex, on the other hand, felt it would be funny to inform me that she was pregnant, and that the child was mine, only to send me a text at 12:01 a.m. stating the opposite. No one will miss her.

Speaking of people that found themselves victim to a good old fashioned AFD ruse, former UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad Evans was recently the target of a simple, albeit clever prank last weekend during an autograph signing session. One fan, who must not be able to purchase underwear due to the size of his massive balls, decided to ask Evans to autograph the above photo depicting his brutal knockout loss to Lyoto Machida at UFC 98. Considering Rashad’s well documented sense of humor, you’d think he could have a good laugh at his own expense.

You would be wrong.

(Sapp’s most recent effort attempt ”showing” against James Thompson. How do you know it’s a Bob Sapp joint? Because the introductions are twice as long as the fight.) 

In the difficult economic times that we are currently experiencing, Bob Sapp’s continual ability to stay employed as a “fighter” is nothing short of inspiring. And by inspiring, we mean infuriating. The man has fought nine times in the past three years, totaling just over fifteen minutes of ring time. There is not a doubt in any of our minds that the time he spent training for those fights was less than half of that. He has lost all but one of those contests, and word has it that the one man he defeated committed Sepukku shortly thereafter. Yet he continues to get work. He lost his last fight by submission due to (fake) leg injury, and tapped out to approximately two punches thrown by a BJJ expert in the fight before that. Yet he continues to get work.

Perhaps it is a sign, like the popularity of Jersey Shore or Nicki Minaj, that our culture has truly done a 180 in terms of what we consider worthy of our attention. Where in days past, it was a person’s abilities that brought them into the public eye, it seems now more than ever that we as a society are fixated with people who lack any discernable talent whatsoever.

Bob Sapp is living, breathing proof of this phenomenon.

Thankfully, it looks as if Sapp may finally be forced to take on a fighter who could make him reconsider his line of work altogether; someone who could possibly knock Sapp out cold before he gets the chance to call it quits. That man is none other than UFC veteran Soa Palelei, who is scheduled to take on Sapp at Cage Fighting Championships 21 on April 20th.

If there is a God, he will not allow Bob Sapp to walk away from this fight completely intact.

Perhaps it is appropriate that we are kicking off the disappointment and pent up frustration of another work week with none other than Bob Sapp, the most disappointing and utterly frustrating figure in the history of MMA. After landing his most devastating punch in his last ten fights career against Bill Mahood at Saturday’s weigh ins, Sapp’s headlining bout against James Thompson at Super Fight League 1 would end, go figure, in the abrupt, anticlimactic fashion of Sapp’s signature move, the Sapp Tapp, the Sappmission, or whatever variation of the term you prefer to use. Sapp has become so famous for quitting when the going gets tough that it appears Tiger Woods has adopted a similar strategy.

But, believe it or not, some fighters actually came to fight yesterday, and thankfully, the gents over at SFL have been nice enough to grant us a full playback of the event on their Youtube page. Check out the video above, and honor “The Beast” in Sappian fashion, by prematurely stopping it when the main event comes around.

Join us after the jump for some more great videos from around the MMA blogosphere, including an eight second KO that can only be described as “adorable,” a trailer for an upcoming documentary on Charles “Mask” Lewis, and more.

Spoiler alert: It was a better punch than this one, and twice as effective. Props: Getty Images via MMAFighting.com

I guess it goes without saying, but today has been a pretty slow news day. But even if it wasn’t, I like to imagine we’d still give this our attention. When something as rare as Bob Sapp being involved in a competitive fight happens, it’s worth a few cheap laughs seconds.

Sapp headlined Super Fight League 1, which was live on Youtube earlier this morning, against robbery victim James Thompson. While weighing in for his fight against “The Colossus”, Bob Sapp landed one of the most beautiful backfists I’ve ever seen. His technique was flawless, like it was a something he had actually been practicing. Even Phil Baroni, who was on hand to introduce fighters, seemed shocked at the technique on display from “The Beast”.

Of course, it would have been far more impressive if it actually landed on James Thompson. Or if it, you know, was intentional. But it’s probably for the best that the move was an accident. If he had been trying to do that, he probably would have missed, taken a dive and immediately started tapping.

(To activate Sapp’s “duck and cover” signature move, press “UP, UP, A, B” on your controller.”)

When Bob Sapp finally retires from MMA and pens an inevitable tell-all book, there’s a pretty good chance that his 11-10 record will be diminished to a more realistic number like 1-5.

Proof that some promoters still fix fights is the video after the jump of Sapp diving head-first at opponent Volkan Duzgun at an event called Vuisten van Vuur in Den Bosch, Netherlands over the weekend, before turtling and getting TKO’ed via WWE-esque shots to the arms and body. He doesn’t even know how to fake fight well.

(Photographic proof that EVERYTHING in India ends in choreographed dance.)

Their name is Super Fight League, and when you click on the main page of their website, you will immediately be serenaded by a theme song that can only be described as…divine. Seriously, it’s like Eddie Van Halen, Lil Jon, and Sean Paul drank paint thinner, blew coke, and played Star Fox until this song came out. THAT’S HOW EPIC IT IS.

Anyhow, aside from being India’s very first MMA promotion, Super Fight League will also go down in MMA history as the first promotion to sign an exclusive deal with Youtube. Awesome, right? You want to know what’s even more awesome? Their very first card will be headlined by a heavyweight clash between James Thompson and Bob Sapp. Yes, that Bob Sapp.

Check out the awesome promo after the jump.

Props: IronForgesIron.com

When we announced that ONE FC’s second event would feature professional publicity stunt Bob Sapp fighting against UFC veteran (sigh) Rolles Gracie, we offered you a question about the fight: Bad idea, or worst idea? On paper, this meant pitting a one-dimensional, subpar kickboxer fighter impersonator against a one-dimensional grappler. Factor in the complete lack of cardiovascular endurance that both men have exhibited, and we were in for an ugly affair.

Well, that fight went down today in Jakarta, Indonesia. And it was everything that you expected it to be.

After going 0-7 in kickboxing and MMA in 2011, Bob Sapp decided that he needed to change his traditional game plan of “start out strong, get tired, get knocked out”. This time around, Bob Sapp attempted to start the fight early during yesterday’s weigh ins. Like the obese guy who orders medium fries with his twenty piece nuggets and large milkshake instead of large fries, we guess we can applaud him for at least changing something.

(Stay classy.) 

Today, CagePotato is brought to you by the letter R. Specifically, R for retirement.

If the name Peter Aerts doesn’t immediately bring to mind a cavalcade of classic kickboxing matches against a list of opponents that reads like a who’s who of the sport, then might we recommend you do a little research on one of the greatest combatants to ever don the heavy gloves. After collecting over 100 victories in a career that spanned nearly 25 years, kickboxing legend Peter Aerts has announced that his June 30th match against #7 ranked heavyweight kickboxer Tyrone Sprong will be his last.

In a true testament of his character, Aerts will be going out in the same fashion in which he came, by taking on the best; his first professional fight saw him square off against fellow legend Ernesto Hoost, and now he will be going out, win or lose, against a top prospect in Sprong. Known for his trademark head kick finishes that earned him the nickname, “The Dutch Lumberjack,” Aerts built his reputation through vintage battles with the likes of Hoost (five times), Jerome Le Banner (four times), Semmy Schilt (five times), and Ray Sefo (three times). Having competed in every K1 tournament except for 2009, Aerts also earned the moniker “Mr. K1,” taking home tournament gold in 1994, 1995, and 1998, and placing second in 2001, 2006, 2007, and 2010.

Aerts’ crowning achievement by far was his devastating run through the 1998 K1 World Grand Prix, in which he dispatched all three of his opponents in 6 minutes and 43 seconds, a record that held until 2009, when it was broken by Semmy Schilt. As a HUGE fan and close follower of his career, I would personally like to wish Mr. Aerts all the best in his future endeavors on behalf of everyone here at CagePotato, and have compiled a brief look back at some of his greatest hits below, starting with his first rematch against Hoost that took place at the 1993 K1 Quarterfinals.

Now this…makes us nervous. Many of you probably remember the inaugural ONE FC: Champion vs. Champion event that took place back in early September, which featured a plethora of previously unheard of talent in addition to a ton of great fights. Shortly thereafter, CEO and owner Victor Cui announced that his promotion had big plans for 2012, which included adding over 23 gyms and 15 promotions to their partnership and scheduling three events in three different countries. Though it wouldn’t do much to detract from the UFC’s ever-expanding market, many of us looked at ONE FC as the spark that could possibly reignite the Asian MMA scene, a flame that had long been quelled since the demise of PRIDE.

If the above poster for ONE FC’s second event, entitled Battle of Heroes, says anything, it’s that PRIDE is back. Unfortunately, it might not the epic, blood soaked glory PRIDE that we were all hoping for, but rather, the ridiculous, freak show fight filled PRIDE that we both loved and silently resented for all those years.

(Video: YouTube/KSWfights)

I don’t know what it is about Slavic nations, but they seem to share a rich appreciation for the musclebound and untalented. We’re assuming that’s how Bob Sapp found himself in Croatia last night competing against Maro Perak on the Noc Gladijatora 6 card.

The bout begins with Sapp standing in the center of the ring in full defensive mode, performing a killer impression of that big, hairy orange thing from Looney Tunes. As soon as he opened up with a punch, Sapp was taken to the canvas where he nearly ended the fight by triangle choke before seamlessly transitioning to an omaplata. Nah, just kidding–he wildly kicked at the air and looked as if he’d never trained from his back before. After absorbing a few punches, hammerfists and knees to the dome (legal, we assume?), the big man decided he’d earned his paycheck and stopped moving until the referee intervened.

Tough loss, but I’m sure he’ll bounce back soon. In fact, I hear there’s an opening in Japan…

(Don’t worry Bob, it can only get better from here. That has to be true at least once in a while.) 

Imagine this scenario; you’re an up and coming fighter in the cut-throat world of MMA who’s finally earned his shot at the big time. The packed stadium, the camera crews, the ring girls, they’re all there. And best of all, your fight is about to be broadcast for the world to see. “I’ve made it,” you think as you bathe in the bright lights shining down on you.

But then, before you know what hit you, you’re looking up at a large, possibly Rastafarian man, who’s asking if you know where you are. And for the rest of your life, you are dubbed “that guy who got destroyed by ______ .” No matter what you accomplish, you will always be known for one bump in the road that just about everyone happened to witness. Well, here at CP, we know this story all too well, so we decided to check up on a few of these poor suckers, VH1 style, and find out what they were up to. Because knowing is half the battle. Enjoy.

Dos Caras Jr.

What (most of us) know him for: As one of the victims of the greatest MMA technique of 2003.

What he’s been up to: As it turns out, Dos Caras Jr. has actually had a rather successful career since nearly being decapitated by Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic back at PRIDE – Bushido 1. His real name is Alberto Rodriguez, and he actually wasn’t that bad of a fighter. Honestly, considering he both wore a mask and went by a fake name, he was a pretty damn awesome fighter, and easily the most successful. After dropping a unanimous decision to Kazuhiro Nakamura at Pride 27, “Two Faces” went 6-1, with all wins coming by way of stoppage. He even managed to pull out a head kick KO of his own back in 2010 against 3-8 fighter Arthur Bart.

Where he is now:

(Bob, what is best in life? ”To crush your enemies, see them [pile-]driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” Photo courtesy of UPI)

With a decade-long career that has included pro-wrestling, MMA, kickboxing, and acting, Bob Sapp is one of the most iconic entertainers in combat sports. Sapp returns to the big screen in the new remake of Conan the Barbarian — which hits theaters today — as the villainous tribal leader Ukafa. We caught up with the Beast last night to discuss everything from Conan to Mike Tyson to Beast-endorsed sex toys. Enjoy…

CAGEPOTATO.COM: Hey Bob, thanks for taking the time to speak to us. Where are you right now?
BOB SAPP: I’m in Dubai, doing some training for my next WKA kickboxing fight, August 26th in Germany. My opponent is Florian “Faust” Pavic. I am 100% healthy, so you’ll see me going old-school with a lot of big punches.

Tell me a little about the character you play in Conan the Barbarian.
Ukafa is basically a big, brute, bully guy. He’s a non-talkative guy, because he’d rather talk with actions than words. You can see how strong he is, especially at the beginning when he actually tackles a real horse. I didn’t do any comedy in this one — it’s strictly a serious role, straight action and adventure. So I consider this role to be very similar to the one I played in Elektra with Jennifer Garner a few years back.

Being in these action films seems like such a natural fit for you, because your career in the fight business straddled the line of sport and entertainment. When you were fighting in Japan for PRIDE and K-1, did you view yourself more as an athlete or as an entertainer?

(Video courtesy of YouTube/LegalForLess)

Add UFC lightweight Clay Guida to the list of MMA fighters who have acted in television commercials. With the guest spot above he did in the latest Safe Auto Ad, “The Carpenter” joins the ranks of the likes of Kurt Pellegrino, Jon Jones, Georges St-Pierre, Bob Sapp, Wanderlei Silva, Mirko Cro Cop and Mark Coleman.

Check out some of our other amesomely cheesy favorites after the jump.

(Edith Labelle: Still alive. Photo proof via Harris Masood/MMAMania)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Five Lessons: UFC 129 (NBC Sports MMA)

- Jon Fitch Says He and GSP Both Deserve Some Criticism for Decisions (MMA Fighting)

- Watch and Listen: The 50 Best Entrance Songs in the History of the UFC (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Tim Kennedy Weighs in on the Killing of Osama Bin Laden (MiddleEasy)

- Bob Sapp Was Busy Being Bob Sapp Last Weekend (MMA-Scraps)

- Great Expectations: The Problem With Georges St. Pierre (MMA Convert)

- Vladimir Matyushenko Wants Tito Ortiz or Little Nog Next (LowKick)

- Gabriel Gonzaga to Emerge From Brief Retirement at ‘Heavyweight Xplosion’ in June (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Jake Ellenberger Undergoes Hand Surgery Following UFC 129 Knockout Victory (5thRound)

(Leg kicks, why have you forsaken me? / Photo courtesy of allelbows.com)

Today, as you know, is Easter — a day in which Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, three days after his crucifixion. To commemorate the holiday, we’d like to take this time to remember notable resurrections in the sport of mixed martial arts. (Because we’re respectful like that.) There’s nothing more incredible than watching a dude get the living crap beaten out of him for minutes at a time, and then somehow, miraculously, finding the strength to knock his opponent dead before the last bell. So without further ado, here are 11 of our favorite “Back From the Dead” MMA fights of all time…

(UFC 3′s Emmanuel Yarborough and Miley Cyrus: They may seem like a strange pairing at first, but then you spend some time with them together and you’re like “okay, I totally get it now.”)

By Matthew “The Fight Nerd” Kaplowitz

Japan has brought us so many great imports, be it giant robots, cartoons about ninja children dressed in bright colors (which sort of defeats the purpose of being a stealthy ninja), tentacle rape, and Pocky. Truly, their greatest offering to America has been the freak show fight. As we discussed last time, Japan was the country that legitimized the art of pitting two mismatched opponents in a ring and convincing us that this was the greatest thing since Steven Seagal invented the front kick.

If there’s one thing we Americans don’t like, it’s being shown up by a foreign land. So it was just a matter of time before an American promoter stood up and said, “You know what? I want to see a man that weighs a quarter of a ton fight a dwarf!” And that was how our first freak show fight was born. Well, not really, since we have better athletic commissions in America, but after reading this list of the “Top Ten American Freak Show Fights That Were Actually Good,” you might think otherwise. Let’s get it on!

10. Tim Sylvia vs. Wes Sims
Superbrawl 38, 12/12/04


In a rare battle between two giants, 6’ 8” Tim Sylvia stood almost eye to eye with Wes Sims, who had a two-inch height advantage over “The Maine-iac”.  Sylvia had fought another tall man, Gan McGee, the previous year at UFC 44, but this fight is far more entertaining. You would probably expect an evenly contested bout between these two, due to the height and their similarly aggressive tactics (both guys even used the same song for their entrance, go figure). For some reason that will never be known, Sims decided that he was the smaller man in this fight and would fight accordingly.

(A Japanese whaling boat dumps out the day’s catch…)

By CagePotato contributor Matthew Kaplowitz

As Japanese MMA seems to slowly dwindle away from the glory days of the sport, hardcore fans like myself shed a tear for our great loss. It wasn’t just knowing those obscure 135-pounders whose names had syllables our gaijin tongues could barely pronounce, or the fact that it was the land where stomping and soccer-kicking a human being in the face was perfected into a sweet science. More than that, it was the stars that were produced that we came to know and love, whether they were fighting someone on their level or tearing open a tomato can — and that is where this list begins.

Blatant mismatches aside, JMMA gave us so many beautiful fights with men like Fedor Emelianenko, Mirko “Crocop” Filipovic (go tell your favorite TUF noob that his last name is not Crocop and relish in their confusion), Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Ikuhisa Minowa and Kazushi Sakuraba. For every epic bout that went into the history books for their unbelievable drama, we had other fights that we remember for less than pleasant reasons. Yes, the freak show fights! What would a JMMA event be without a match worthy of a 1930′s carnival? The big question here was how do I rank something that is mediocre to begin with? Well, I’m as clueless as you are, so let’s get started on this journey down “Freak Show Lane,” across the street from “What Were They Thinking? Boulevard”…

10. Daiju Takase vs. Emmanuel Yarbrough
Pride 3, 6/24/98

This was the first freak show fight in Pride history, and earns a place on this list for that merit alone. It pit 169 lb. Daiju Takase against 600 lb. Emmanuel Yarbrough, who most fans will recall was clobbered into submission by Keith Hackney and his broken hand at UFC 3 (Yarbrough has no luck in any event associated with the number three). The sumo plodded around the ring tossing his hamhock arms at Takase, while the smaller Japanese fighter fled and slowly wore down Yarbrough.

Takase makes the mistake of going for a lazy single leg on Yarbrough, which results in the large fighter flopping onto his belly and absorbing Takase into his flesh. As Stephen Quadros lamented, “This is horrible! This is like “Jaws!” Eventually, Takase slid out from the greasy underside of Manny, and in an ending eerily similiar to his UFC 3 fight, Takase went to town with clubbing hands to his exhausted opponent’s face, leading to a tapout in the middle of the second round.

(If only either of these guys brought this much energy to their actual jobs. PicProps: MMA.pl)

The ongoing war of words between recently-retired MMA punchline Bob Sapp and FEG President (and self-proclaimed soon-to-be failed businessman) Sadaharu Tanikawa has frankly gotten too awesome to ignore any longer. Believe us, if we possibly could ignore it, we totally, totally would, but these guys are just saying too much hilarious stuff about each other not to at least get a mention. Seriously, it’s like watching the two nerdiest kids in the fourth grade slap fight in a sand box. Except, you know, with words.

You may remember that Sapp pulled out of a scheduled “modified rules” fight with Shinichi Suzukawa at K-1’s gala New Year’s Eve show last month, claiming that FEG first promised him 30 Gs for it, only to tell him he was only getting half that once he’d already made the trip to Japan. The promotion responded by saying Sapp “had lost his fighting spirit” during its broadcast and the giant former football player later indicated he was finished with MMA, but alleged it had nothing to do with his spirit. “The No. 1 problem is that K-1 is extremely broke. So is Dream …,” Sapp said. “I’m just like, ‘You know what? I’m done with all the talk about me. I’m done with them stiffing the fighters. I’m just done with it. I’ve seen too much. Start paying people to show up.’ ” Tanikawa didn’t take kindly to that, and he’s been ripping Sapp on Twitter and in interviews ever since.

I remember watching Mike Tyson calling out Bob Sapp (*Editor’s note: How the hell is Bob Sapp only 35?) after "The Beast" beat Kimo Leopoldo at K-1 World Grand Prix event in Las Vegas in 2003 and thinking, "Man, I wish Tyson would fight somebody good in MMA."

Well, it turns out that  in 2003 "Iron" Mike had a contract with PRIDE and was supposed to fight two of the Japanese promotion’s best heavyweights: Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic and Fedor Emelianenko.

The bouts never came to fruition for several different reasons, but if they had, Dana White likely wouldn’t have had any interest in bringing James Toney into the UFC to solve the, "Who would win between a boxer and a mixed martial artist?" question.

Imagine how differently each man’s career would have turned out if Tyson had knocked Emelianenko and Filipovic out in the 2004 PRIDE Heavyweight Grand Prix.

The translation of the story from  PRIDE: Secret Files courtesy of MMA-Japan.com is after the jump:

(Props: Gofightlive via Fightlinker)

Since nobody likes to get right back to work after a four-day weekend, we figured we’d ease you back into your time-wasting routine with a few ridiculous MMA videos. First up, a three-second KO at an Evolution AMMA event that’s notable for what happens after the knockout. The losing fighter is so dazed that not only does he grab onto the referee in confusion, he manages to successfully score mount. Early stoppage, if you ask me.

After the jump: During a 2007 bout in Brazil, new UFC acquisition Maiquel Falcao continues to beat on his opponent long after the fight is stopped. Could this be a bad omen for his UFC career? (And where was that intensity at UFC 123?) Also, video of Bob Sapp‘s latest sad kickboxing match, Saturday night in Sweden, in which the Beast takes a dive at the absolute earliest opportunity.