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Tag: Bob Sapp

VIDEO: Another Khalidov Victory, and the New “Mamed Khalidov Challenge”


(Khalidov vs. Falcao, recorded on a potato for your viewing pleasure.)

We’ve been dick-ridin‘ Polish middleweight Mamed Khalidov for what seems like a decade now, and for good reason. Currently 29-4-2 as a pro, Khalidov has suffered just one defeat in the past four years and has showcased equally impressive knockout power and submission skills (not to mention, spinning sh*t) during his unblemished run under the KSW banner. Even though he already turned down a lowball offer from the UFC in 2012, we named Khalidov one of four European fighters the UFC should sign in 2014 because we are dying to see what this man can do in a promotion known for something more than its hilariously incompetent judges.

In fact, Khalidov has more or less built his fierce reputation on the graves of UFC veterans young and old in recent years, notching victories over Jesse Taylor, Rodney Wallace, James Irvin, and Matt Lindland among others. Khalidov continued with his conquest of all things UFC waste-related at KSW 27 last weekend, submitting one-time Gas Station FC contender Maiquel Falcao with an armbar in the first round of their main event scrap and earning a big pat on the back from the MMA world in doing so.

And that’s the thing; Khalidov has not only been clowning any UFC veteran placed before him since 2011; he’s been doing it quickly. Like, first round quickly. So in light of Bob Sapp’s shocking retirement from the sport, it seems fitting that we should replace the Bob Sapp Challenge™ with something more fitting on this legendary day, does it not?

The new rules of the Mamed Khalidov Challenge™ await you after the jump.

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Bob Sapp Retires: A Legendary Life, In GIFs


(This is happening right now. Don’t fight it.)

During Saturday’s episode of Submission Radio, combat sports icon Bob Sapp announced that he was walking away from professional fighting at the age of 40, after more than 12 years competing in mixed martial arts and kickboxing. Sapp claimed that he’s retiring with over $10 million in the bank, thanks to a combination of wise investing and his infamous (but income generating) “world tour,” in which he lost 12 consecutive MMA fights in 12 different countries since 2011.

“I no longer have a need to go into the ring for 40,000 for a fight when I’m making, well last month it was somewhere in that realm of over 1 million dollars,” Sapp told Submission Radio. “I don’t need to do that any longer.”

Sapp also went 1-13 in kickboxing since September 2005 — his only victory being an unexpected TKO win via injury — although he saw tremendous success as of late in celebrity arm-wrestling tournaments.

It’s hard to know how we should remember a man whose career saw him go from the terrifying “Beast” of his early K-1 appearances to a walking punchline, who developed a persona better than almost any other pro fighter in history — and became a cultural icon in Japan as a result — who was nakedly candid about his motivations and didn’t seem to give a damn about his reputation as an athlete. Bob Sapp was an entertainer, and truly great at what he did. His career touched professional wrestling, acting (Frankenhood!), and fast-food pizza. He was so much more than just a huge guy swinging his fists at his smaller opponents, although he was that too.

As Internet custom dictates, we will now honor Bob Sapp’s departure with a collection of his greatest GIFs. Check ‘em out after the jump, and hit the “Next Page” buttons for more…

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25 MMA Reaction GIFs for All Occasions


(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:

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Friday Link Dump: Bob Sapp Gets Smushed in 35 Seconds, ‘Shaolin’ Retires, Psycho Gamer Loses His Sh*t + More


(Good news, Bob Sapp got paid again! Details here. Props to MiddleEasy for the video.)

An Interactive Global Map Featuring Every UFC Event, Ever (UFC Locator)

The View From Albuquerque: The Rock House (Fightland)

Vitor ‘Shaolin’ Ribeiro Announces Retirement From MMA (MMAFighting)

UFC Quick Quote: Junior dos Santos Thinks Ronda Rousey Is ‘Regular Cute,’ While Miesha Tate Is ‘Really Gorgeous’ (MMAMania)

The 6 Best Final Fight Performances in MMA History (BleacherReport)

UFC 163 Drug Tests Come Back Clean (MMAJunkie)

Paul Taylor Returns to Octagon, Faces ‘The Assasin’ in Manchester at UFC Fight Night 29 (Sherdog)

This Thai Boxer Hits Like a Boss (TheUG)

The 50 Worst Flops and Dives in Sports History, in GIFs (Complex)

SI Swimsuit Models Making Funny Faces (WorldwideInterweb)

Weekend One-Up: 10-Minute Core Challenge (Men’s Fitness)

The Most Extreme Places You Probably Don’t Want To Go To On Vacation (DoubleViking)

Crazy Head-On Car Collision Leaves Everyone Miraculously Uninjured (EgoTV)

Psycho Gamer Goes Crazy in Store (Break)

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In Case You Missed It: Aleksander Emelianenko TKOs Bob Sapp in Fight of The Year Candidate [NOT REALLY]


(Props: oleggor21)

The recently-unretired Aleksander Emelianenko made his return to MMA Saturday night in Moscow against Bob Sapp, and if the fighter introductions, stare-down, and instructions didn’t last longer than the actual fight, they were certainly more exciting. First, the good news. Aleks appears to be doing more sit ups and less shaving than ever before, resulting in an epic monastery beard and less gut than the Emelianenko family has collectively seen in twenty years.

And in the good news/bad news category, depending on your perspective, Bob Sapp is still putting food on his presumably massive plate. While that’s good for “The Beast,” it’s not so great for fans of legitimate MMA fights, since Sapp’s preferred method of making money in recent years is to take apparent dives against whomever he is matched up against. To his credit, Sapp actually threw some strikes and attempted some clinch work this time around, and Aleksander actually had to land multiple solid shots before Sapp assumed the fetal position. Once there, Sapp didn’t even tap out; the referee stepped in to stop the pathetic mismatch/collusion.

Following the stoppage, the Russian helped his opponent up and they talked to one another. Then they kept on talking. Lots of talking between these two. Glad we got to witness these friends catch up.

Anyway, that’s Sapp’s eleventh consecutive “loss” and his fourteenth out of his last fifteen bouts. Aleks got back on the winning track after getting choked out by Jeff Monson in his previous bout.

Check the video above out if you want to see some distinctly not-impressed Russian audience members. By the way, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones was apparently paid a lot of money to be at the eventand he got to meet Fedor. Must be nice.

- Elias Cepeda

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[VIDEO] This Promo for Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp is Crazy and it Doesn’t Even Feature Bob Sapp

In its own beautiful, twisted way, Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp represents a meeting of two MMA titans years in the making. In one corner, you have one of the most notorious (yet somehow, hilariously cursed) can crushers in MMA history. In the other, you have perhaps the most notorious can of all time, a man so pathetic, so feeble, so shameless, that he has openly admitted to folding at the first sign of trouble in most of the fights that comprise his current ten-fight losing streak. It’s a match made in freak show heaven, right up there with Shaq vs. Canseco and Martinez vs. Zimmer II.

So with all that in mind, it’s rather appropriate that the first promo for Emelianenko’s…we wouldn’t call it anticipated return features a bearish looking Aleksander knocking over children’s sand sculptures and doing his best to look as bored as he was with James Thompson. At least that’s what we think happened. The whole thing is in Russian, so some of the context in that intensely metaphorical chain sequence might have been lost on us. The promo does, however, contain the kind of weirdness that simply transcends the language barrier, so we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. In either case, we can’t wait to see Sapp’s response video.

So what’s the over-under on how long Sapp lasts in this one, anyway? Twenty, dare we say thirty seconds?

-J. Jones

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[VIDEO] Bob Sapp Outguns Alistair Overeem & Mark Hunt in One Night, Death of God Confirmed

For the longest time, we thought Bob Sapp‘s muscles were an extension of his personality, which is to say, fake. Like, Spongebob Squarepants “Anchor Arms” fake. Sure, they looked realistic and everything, but we always believed that underneath all the state-of-the-art makeup and Styrofoam padding was a frail, perpetually horrified struggling actor who just wanted to do some method acting before everything spiraled out of control. Why else would Sapp fall to the mat crying as soon as his opponent even looked at him the wrong way? He’s a sensitive artist that has feels, that’s why.

Unfortunately, Sapp pretty much shattered our universe and proved once and for all that he does posses strength in that Rhinosaur build of his, via a Japanese arm-wrestling tournament that took place over the weekend. Although the tourney featured such actual fighters as Alistair Overeem and Mark Hunt, Sapp absolutely Lincoln Hawked the competition without even breaking a sweat. You know, kind of like how he collects 50k per fight to do the complete opposite.

The entire video is above and also features Kazushi Sakuraba, a Sumo in a track suit, and at least one advertisement that will give you the heebie-jeebies. So basically, it’s every Japanese game show you’ve ever witnessed. Enjoy.

-J. Jones

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Sad Fight of the Day: “Brawler” Challenges Muay Thai Instructor to a Fight, Immediately Regrets Decision


(Props to our boy b0redj0red for the find.) 

There’s an old proverb that goes “Learn to walk before you run.” I can think of no better way to better describe the ass-whooping you are about to witness. Apparently the gentleman in the blue shorts, packed to the brim with testosterone and hubris, thought that he had acquired the necessary skills to take on the Muay Thai instructor donning the green shorts and Alessio Sakara-esque tatts. Unfortunately, our boy Blue learned everything he needed to know about striking from a Bob Sapp highlight reel. When this kind of dangerous ignorance is combined with an unwillingness to admit defeat until you are slung over the ropes in a heap ala Rampage Jackson, well, you end up slung over the ropes in a heap like Rampage Jackson.

While it’s hard to knock a guy for his fearlessness, we would also like to inform Blue that there is in fact a middle ground between the heavy bag and Tong Po’s cousin to test your skills. Consider that while you’re eating cheeseburgers through a straw for the next week or two.

-J. Jones

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Sad Video of the Day: Behold, The First XARM Knockout of 2012


(Personally, I think this is a reasonable reaction.) 

We don’t mean to judge a book by it’s cover, but when that cover is a 327 lb man who goes by the name Tater Williams, it’s safe to say that he will more than likely end up on the wrong side of a knockout. Scratch that. If anything, a 327 lb dude named Tater Williams should most certainly end up on the RIGHT side of a knockout. His name is freaking TATER FREAKING WILLIAMS, and he uses catchphrases like “Five of these across the sneeze,” and “You’re gonna get ‘that’ about 147 times” in between asthmatic gasps for air. “That” being the aforementioned sneeze punches. Throw in the fact that Tater is apparently “a really great athlete” who has studied judo, wrestling, sambo, and had a high school wrestling record of 226-12* and not only is Tater suddenly looking like a well-rounded Goliath, but one who could demolish the likes of Junior Dos Santos, Cain Velasquez, and Alistair Overeem. At the same time. While in a diabetic coma.

Sadly, things do go quite according to plan in the next chapter of the XARM saga (but have they ever, really?), a sport so hilariously misguided that it really makes you yearn for the subtle nuances of wheelchair MMA. In today’s contest, Tater finds himself matched up against the slightly-slimmer Bond Laupua (I swear to God I am not making these names up), who is quick to admit that “I don’t really have a strategy” heading into the fight. The announcers inform us that Tater’s gameplan was to gain weight. HOW DID HE LOSE THIS.

Join us after the jump to see two bears wrestle over a jar of honey until one falls down. 

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CagePotato Video Tribute: 11 Insane MMA Fighter Movie Cameos


(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

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