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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Bob Sapp

25 MMA Reaction GIFs for All Occasions


(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:

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Friday Link Dump: Bob Sapp Gets Smushed in 35 Seconds, ‘Shaolin’ Retires, Psycho Gamer Loses His Sh*t + More


(Good news, Bob Sapp got paid again! Details here. Props to MiddleEasy for the video.)

An Interactive Global Map Featuring Every UFC Event, Ever (UFC Locator)

The View From Albuquerque: The Rock House (Fightland)

Vitor ‘Shaolin’ Ribeiro Announces Retirement From MMA (MMAFighting)

UFC Quick Quote: Junior dos Santos Thinks Ronda Rousey Is ‘Regular Cute,’ While Miesha Tate Is ‘Really Gorgeous’ (MMAMania)

The 6 Best Final Fight Performances in MMA History (BleacherReport)

UFC 163 Drug Tests Come Back Clean (MMAJunkie)

Paul Taylor Returns to Octagon, Faces ‘The Assasin’ in Manchester at UFC Fight Night 29 (Sherdog)

This Thai Boxer Hits Like a Boss (TheUG)

The 50 Worst Flops and Dives in Sports History, in GIFs (Complex)

SI Swimsuit Models Making Funny Faces (WorldwideInterweb)

Weekend One-Up: 10-Minute Core Challenge (Men’s Fitness)

The Most Extreme Places You Probably Don’t Want To Go To On Vacation (DoubleViking)

Crazy Head-On Car Collision Leaves Everyone Miraculously Uninjured (EgoTV)

Psycho Gamer Goes Crazy in Store (Break)

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In Case You Missed It: Aleksander Emelianenko TKOs Bob Sapp in Fight of The Year Candidate [NOT REALLY]


(Props: oleggor21)

The recently-unretired Aleksander Emelianenko made his return to MMA Saturday night in Moscow against Bob Sapp, and if the fighter introductions, stare-down, and instructions didn’t last longer than the actual fight, they were certainly more exciting. First, the good news. Aleks appears to be doing more sit ups and less shaving than ever before, resulting in an epic monastery beard and less gut than the Emelianenko family has collectively seen in twenty years.

And in the good news/bad news category, depending on your perspective, Bob Sapp is still putting food on his presumably massive plate. While that’s good for “The Beast,” it’s not so great for fans of legitimate MMA fights, since Sapp’s preferred method of making money in recent years is to take apparent dives against whomever he is matched up against. To his credit, Sapp actually threw some strikes and attempted some clinch work this time around, and Aleksander actually had to land multiple solid shots before Sapp assumed the fetal position. Once there, Sapp didn’t even tap out; the referee stepped in to stop the pathetic mismatch/collusion.

Following the stoppage, the Russian helped his opponent up and they talked to one another. Then they kept on talking. Lots of talking between these two. Glad we got to witness these friends catch up.

Anyway, that’s Sapp’s eleventh consecutive “loss” and his fourteenth out of his last fifteen bouts. Aleks got back on the winning track after getting choked out by Jeff Monson in his previous bout.

Check the video above out if you want to see some distinctly not-impressed Russian audience members. By the way, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones was apparently paid a lot of money to be at the eventand he got to meet Fedor. Must be nice.

- Elias Cepeda

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[VIDEO] This Promo for Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp is Crazy and it Doesn’t Even Feature Bob Sapp

In its own beautiful, twisted way, Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp represents a meeting of two MMA titans years in the making. In one corner, you have one of the most notorious (yet somehow, hilariously cursed) can crushers in MMA history. In the other, you have perhaps the most notorious can of all time, a man so pathetic, so feeble, so shameless, that he has openly admitted to folding at the first sign of trouble in most of the fights that comprise his current ten-fight losing streak. It’s a match made in freak show heaven, right up there with Shaq vs. Canseco and Martinez vs. Zimmer II.

So with all that in mind, it’s rather appropriate that the first promo for Emelianenko’s…we wouldn’t call it anticipated return features a bearish looking Aleksander knocking over children’s sand sculptures and doing his best to look as bored as he was with James Thompson. At least that’s what we think happened. The whole thing is in Russian, so some of the context in that intensely metaphorical chain sequence might have been lost on us. The promo does, however, contain the kind of weirdness that simply transcends the language barrier, so we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. In either case, we can’t wait to see Sapp’s response video.

So what’s the over-under on how long Sapp lasts in this one, anyway? Twenty, dare we say thirty seconds?

-J. Jones

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[VIDEO] Bob Sapp Outguns Alistair Overeem & Mark Hunt in One Night, Death of God Confirmed

For the longest time, we thought Bob Sapp‘s muscles were an extension of his personality, which is to say, fake. Like, Spongebob Squarepants “Anchor Arms” fake. Sure, they looked realistic and everything, but we always believed that underneath all the state-of-the-art makeup and Styrofoam padding was a frail, perpetually horrified struggling actor who just wanted to do some method acting before everything spiraled out of control. Why else would Sapp fall to the mat crying as soon as his opponent even looked at him the wrong way? He’s a sensitive artist that has feels, that’s why.

Unfortunately, Sapp pretty much shattered our universe and proved once and for all that he does posses strength in that Rhinosaur build of his, via a Japanese arm-wrestling tournament that took place over the weekend. Although the tourney featured such actual fighters as Alistair Overeem and Mark Hunt, Sapp absolutely Lincoln Hawked the competition without even breaking a sweat. You know, kind of like how he collects 50k per fight to do the complete opposite.

The entire video is above and also features Kazushi Sakuraba, a Sumo in a track suit, and at least one advertisement that will give you the heebie-jeebies. So basically, it’s every Japanese game show you’ve ever witnessed. Enjoy.

-J. Jones

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Sad Fight of the Day: “Brawler” Challenges Muay Thai Instructor to a Fight, Immediately Regrets Decision


(Props to our boy b0redj0red for the find.) 

There’s an old proverb that goes “Learn to walk before you run.” I can think of no better way to better describe the ass-whooping you are about to witness. Apparently the gentleman in the blue shorts, packed to the brim with testosterone and hubris, thought that he had acquired the necessary skills to take on the Muay Thai instructor donning the green shorts and Alessio Sakara-esque tatts. Unfortunately, our boy Blue learned everything he needed to know about striking from a Bob Sapp highlight reel. When this kind of dangerous ignorance is combined with an unwillingness to admit defeat until you are slung over the ropes in a heap ala Rampage Jackson, well, you end up slung over the ropes in a heap like Rampage Jackson.

While it’s hard to knock a guy for his fearlessness, we would also like to inform Blue that there is in fact a middle ground between the heavy bag and Tong Po’s cousin to test your skills. Consider that while you’re eating cheeseburgers through a straw for the next week or two.

-J. Jones

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Sad Video of the Day: Behold, The First XARM Knockout of 2012


(Personally, I think this is a reasonable reaction.) 

We don’t mean to judge a book by it’s cover, but when that cover is a 327 lb man who goes by the name Tater Williams, it’s safe to say that he will more than likely end up on the wrong side of a knockout. Scratch that. If anything, a 327 lb dude named Tater Williams should most certainly end up on the RIGHT side of a knockout. His name is freaking TATER FREAKING WILLIAMS, and he uses catchphrases like “Five of these across the sneeze,” and “You’re gonna get ‘that’ about 147 times” in between asthmatic gasps for air. “That” being the aforementioned sneeze punches. Throw in the fact that Tater is apparently “a really great athlete” who has studied judo, wrestling, sambo, and had a high school wrestling record of 226-12* and not only is Tater suddenly looking like a well-rounded Goliath, but one who could demolish the likes of Junior Dos Santos, Cain Velasquez, and Alistair Overeem. At the same time. While in a diabetic coma.

Sadly, things do go quite according to plan in the next chapter of the XARM saga (but have they ever, really?), a sport so hilariously misguided that it really makes you yearn for the subtle nuances of wheelchair MMA. In today’s contest, Tater finds himself matched up against the slightly-slimmer Bond Laupua (I swear to God I am not making these names up), who is quick to admit that “I don’t really have a strategy” heading into the fight. The announcers inform us that Tater’s gameplan was to gain weight. HOW DID HE LOSE THIS.

Join us after the jump to see two bears wrestle over a jar of honey until one falls down. 

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CagePotato Video Tribute: 11 Insane MMA Fighter Movie Cameos


(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

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[VIDEO] Can-Crushing Roundup: Pudzianowski and Blachowicz Victorious, Panajotovic Pulverizes Pathetic Foe


*sigh*

Sometimes, there’s no shame in being a can crusher. As much as we love watching close fights between our sport’s top fighters, some of our sport’s most entertaining finishes came to fruition because a fighter of reasonable competence was locked in the cage with an utterly hopeless ham-n-egger. There’s nothing wrong with pounding the bejesus out of a hapless jobber every once in a while, which is exactly what Mariusz Pudzianowski, Jan Blachowicz and Dusan Panajotovic did yesterday. Fortunately for us, they filmed it for posterity as well.

At thirty-five years old, “can crusher” is probably the ceiling for five-time World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski’s MMA career. The odds of him ending up in the big leagues outside of his home country are pretty slim- which is perfect, because he seems more than content to smash freaks and nobodies in front of enthusiastic Polish fans. At yesterday’s KSW 20, Pudzianowski faced 4-1 Greek American prospect Christos Piliafas. All of Piliafas’ fights have ended by TKO- four of which in the first round. A technical grappling clinic this would not be, as Pudzianowski scored takedowns and eventually punched out Piliafas 3:48 seconds into round one. Unfortunately, videos of this scrap have quickly been taken off of YouTube. We know, we’re just as heartbroken as you are.

But as a consolation prize, we’re going to offer you KSW Light Heavyweight Champion Jan Blachowicz’s successful title defense against Houston Alexander from the same card. A win over Alexander may not mean too much anymore, yet Blachowicz never appeared in trouble throughout the fight. Unfortunately, save for an armbar at the end of round one and a triangle choke at the end of round two, neither did Alexander. Okay, so it’s a pretty lousy consolation prize. Whaddayagonnado?

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What a Rush! The 14 Greatest (and 3 Worst) Pro-Wrestling Moves Used in MMA


(“Call me Aldo Montoya again, bitch!”)

By Seth Falvo (@SethFalvo)

When Nick Ring walked to the cage on Saturday accompanied by professional wrestling legend Bret “The Hitman” Hart, it was one more example of mixed martial arts’ quirky love affair with professional wrestling. Oh sure, we like to pretend that we have nothing in common with those peculiar Puroresu practitioners because our sport is real, both in terms of the violence and the personalities associated with it. Nonsense. With fake fighters crossing over to the real stuff, real fighters crossing over to the fake stuff, fake matches “borrowing” their outcomes from real fights, real promos “borrowing” from the classic fake stuff and multiple guys dabbling in both sports, the line between the two is arguably blurrier now than it was back when Ken Shamrock was ankle locking fools in the World Wrestling Federation.

It should come as no surprise then that we’ve seen our share of professional fighters attempting honest-to-God professional wrestling moves in real fights. We know, we know: We’re totally not supposed to be trying this stuff at home. But fortunately for us, the following brave men have ignored the countless warnings, the advice of their trainers and their own common sense to provide us with the most entertainingly reckless ways to injure their fellow men.

But before we break out the face paint and spandex, let’s establish how I’ll be ranking such absurd maneuvers. The moves will be ranked based on their immediate effectivenesshow true to form they stay to their kayfabe counterparts, and the competence of their opponents. Let’s face it: Even if you do something insanely cool and difficult from professional wrestling in an MMA fight, if you then get knocked out, you still look like a chump. Let’s also acknowledge that a punch to a downed opponent has no business being called The Worm without the accompanying theatrics. Finally, it’s a lot easier to pull off a complex move in a fight when your opponent totally sucks at fighting. Those are my rules, and if you’re not down with that, I got two words for ya: LET’S BEGIN!

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