(Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.) 

In one of the greater upsets of 2013 thus far, Robbie Lawler returned to the UFC last February and successfully smashed former top contender Josh Koscheck in the opening round of their UFC 157 main card scrap. Although the fight was not without its share of controversy (because it is physically impossible to fully knockout a Fraggle), the UFC quickly took notice nonetheless and has now booked “Ruthless” against the final Strikeforce welterweight champion, Tarec Saffiedine, at UFC on FOX 8. 

On the heels of the aforementioned Strikeforce welterweight championship-earning performance over Nate Marquardt at the final Strikeforce event, Saffiedine was originally tapped to face Carlos Condit at UFC 158 following Rory MacDonald’s withdrawal. Saffiedine declined the matchup, however, and has now been given what many fans would consider a much easier fight as punishment. The UFC rewards system at work, ladies and gentlemen.

Also booked for UFC on FOX 8, is a battle of exciting lightweights…

(Using so-phisticated technology, Jurassic Park scientists were able to extract the preserved blood from Munoz’s bone spurs and BINGO! Dino DNA. Photo via Munoz’s Twitter.) 

Fact: Chris Weidman hits so hard that his victims often fail to quantify the force of his punches until weeks and sometimes months after they’ve been hit. Just ask middleweight contender Mark Munoz, who received such a vicious beating at the hands of Weidman last July that his bones began to disintegrate over the course of the year in an attempt to deal with the shock. Hell, even Weidman’s body cracked under the pressure of possessing two pipe bombs for hands. So it’s quite fitting that, almost a year to the day after their clash at UFC on FUEL 4, both Weidman and Munoz have been booked to return to action at UFC 162. 

While Weidman is already scheduled to face off against Anderson Silva for the middleweight title in the evening’s main event, Munoz will taking on the man Weidman was expected to face at UFC 155, Tim Boetsch.

If you recall, Weidman’s teammate, Costa Phillipou, quickly stepped in as a replacement against Boetsch at UFC 155 and managed to successfully cut “The Barbarian’s” title hopes right out from under him with a series of eye pokes and headbutts that were eventually declared a third round TKO. Prior to the loss, Boetsch had racked up 4 straight wins in the middleweight division over the likes of Hector Lombard and Yushin Okami among others. Will ring rust play a factor in Munoz’s return to the octagon, or will Boetsch launch himself right back into the short list of contenders at middleweight with a win here?

Munoz vs. Boetsch is just one of several exciting matchups to be announced within the past few hours, so join us after the jump to check out the chronologically-sorted list.

(Ladies, you are not prepared to deal with Matt’s “O-face.” You just aren’t.) 

Matt Riddle is on the fast track to replacing Michael Phelps as the most motivated stoner on the planet Earth, you guys. After fighting just once in 2011, Riddle put together a 3-1 record in 2012 (well, 2-1 and 1 NC if you’ve ever sucked dick for weed before) and already has his first fight for 2013 lined up. The man with one of the sunniest dispositions in the sport will be taking on butter-toothed Brit Che “Beautiful” Mills at UFC on FUEL 7, which goes down from the Wembley Arena in London, England on February 16th.

On the heels of a disappointing victory via injury over Duane Ludwig at UFC on FUEL 5, Mills will be looking to extend his octagon record to 3-1 with a victory over Riddle, who is fresh off a unanimous decision victory over John Maguire at UFC 154. Although Riddle has developed for putting on exciting brawls in his last few performances, he might want to avoid these kind of shenanigans against a power striker like Mills, who proved to Rick Flair-impersonator Chris Cope that he is not a fan of theatrics in his UFC debut.

(A bit of insider info: The tattoo on Koch’s right arm stands for Zeitgeist, while the one on the left stands for Honey Boo Boo child. True story.) 

It may not come as a shock to any of you, but needless to say, UFC 155 a.k.a the UFC’s annual New Year’s Eve card is looking pretty stacked at this point. Sure, we will lose at least half of these fights to injury, but for the time being we are going to revel in these awesome matchups God damn it and there’s nothing you can do to stop us la la la la we can’t hear you!

Just last week, we announced that Phil Davis would be stepping in to replace Chael Sonnen against Forrest Griffin in the night’s co-main event, and today, a whole slew of interesting matchups were announced, starting with Erik Koch vs Ricardo Lamas.

If you recall, Koch has spent roughly ten years on the shelf due to injury, yet despite this, was in line to receive the next shot at Jose Aldo. Then Jose got injured, then the bout was rescheduled, then Koch injured himself again, then Jose got injured again. My God, that was as depressing an assessment of the current UFC landscape as I’ve ever written. In any case, it appears that Koch will finally return to action on New Year’s against fellow top contender Ricardo Lamas, who is fresh off a victory over Hatsu Hioki at UFC on FX 4. Koch and Lamas find themselves in a very similar position coming into this fight — both are relatively unknown by casual fans yet will likely earn the next featherweight title shot with a win — so expect both guys to try and make a statement with this fight, or at the minimum, talk a lot of shit to Jose Aldo afterward.

In other UFC 155 news…

Talk about stepping in a turd and turning it into gold. Word broke late last night that Yoshihiro Akiyama suffered an undisclosed injury that has forced him out of his upcoming UFC 149 bout with Thiago Alves. To say that the MMA blogosphere entered a brief yet hysterical state of mourning upon hearing this news would be an understatement…until we found out that Afghanistan-born power puncher Siyar Bahadurzada would be stepping in as his replacement. Then there was much rejoicing.

Bahadurzada is coming off a quick and brutal first round knockout of Paulo Thiago at UFC on FUEL 2, the first stoppage loss of Thiago’s career. The win instantly put the welterweight division on notice, and a victory over Alves would further cement Bahadurzada’s status amongst the division’s elite. To be fair, Alves has been struggling a bit as of late, sandwiching a first round submission win over Papy Abedi at UFC 138 between a decision loss to Rick Story at UFC 130 and a most recent submission loss to Martin Kampmann at UFC on FX 2. Despite the fact that “Pitbull” seemed on his way to a clear cut decision victory in that fight, an ill-timed takedown at the end of the third round provided Kampmann all the leeway he would need to snatch up a fight-ending guillotine choke.

Alves should not have to fear the submission prowess of Bahadurzada coming into this one, as two of his four losses have come by way of submission — the most recent of which was a first round heel hook to Jorge Santiago at Sengoku – Sixth Battle back in 2008. What we’re saying is, expect a brawl, Potato Nation, because what appeared to be a decent scrap at first glance has now been updated to an early candidate for Fight of the Night and/or Knockout of the Night.

Speaking of injury replacements…

(As Mighty Mouse looked into the crowd to see his wife flirting with another man, a deep seated rage began to boil inside him.) 

After a judging error in the UFC’s first ever flyweight match between Demetrious Johnson and Ian McCall robbed us of a much needed sudden death fourth round at UFC on FX 2: Kampmann vs. Alves, many of us took it as a sign that the 125 lb. division was ultimately doomed to fail. Perhaps that was a bit of an overreaction, but now we can all rest at ease, because the rematch between these two scrappy contenders has officially been booked for UFC on FX 3, which goes down on June 8th from a location TBD.

Now, we here at CP understand more than anyone that mistakes can happen, but for fuck’s sake, someone please assign a judge who can count to 30 this time around. As we’ve all griped over, the first meeting between McCall and Johnson was originally scored a split decison victory for “Mighty Mouse.” Considering how badly he was dominated by “Uncle Creepy” in the third round, this decision seemed as if it was destined to go down as one of the worst robberies in the history of the sport. Again, maybe we were overreacting, but thankfully, the error was quickly overturned, and the fight was declared a draw. Its good to know that we can now move past this debacle in as timely a manner as possible, lest we end up with a Strikeforce Heavyweight tournament situation again.

Join us after the jump for more fight booking news.

(We know Dan, he watches over us all.) 

It looks like Dan Hardy won’t be getting that fight against Matt Hughes he was angling for. And thank God, because we hear Hughes’ country breakfasts consist of Ovaltine and Total these days (we kind, we kid; they consist of grilled bobcat).  

After going 0-4 through 2010 and 2011, Hardy has been matched up with a perfect opponent to kickstart 2012, when he takes on UFC veteran Duane “Bang” Ludwig at UFC 146. Hardy, who has not fought since falling to a third round guillotine choke in Chris Lytle’s retirement bout in August of 2011, took some time off to refocus, train, and get pestered by drunken fans. Ludwig also saw his last fight end by way of guillotine, only he chose to adhere to the “tapping is for bitches” rule when he was choked out by Josh Neer at UFC on FX. The loss snapped a two fight win streak for Ludwig, his first since 2008, which included wins over Nick Osipczak and Amir Sadollah.

Although this wasn’t the match Hardy wanted, you gotta imagine he’ll be stoked knowing he’s taking on a fellow slugger with a limited ground game. But it will be interesting to see if Hardy follows a more subdued gameplan here. Like we said, the man’s dropped 4 straight, and another loss could mean his Zuffa career. Then again, the only reason that he is still in the UFC is thanks to his consistently exciting performances, so a snoozer against Ludwig seems unlikely. Let’s just sit back and enjoy what is sure to be a war, ladies and gentlemen.

In other UFC 146 news…

(Hey Tito, do you mind taking a look at this fungus I’ve got growing on my foot? I figured if anyone could spot a bizarre infection, it would be you.) 

It’s looking like Tito Ortiz will be getting his wish to go out on a hotly contested decision like he’s always wanted. Though the event or location has yet to be determined, Lorenzo Fertitta announced to the Twittersphere last night that the rubber match between Ortiz and Forrest Griffin will in fact be happening, and, just like Ortiz requested, could transpire on Fourth of July weekend.

After saving his Zuffa career by submitting Ryan Bader at UFC 132, Ortiz has dropped two straight to Rashad Evans and Antonio Rogerio Nogueria, both coming by way of TKO. Griffin is also coming off a first round TKO loss, which he suffered in his rematch with fellow former Light Heavyweight champ Mauricio Rua at UFC 134.

Ortiz and Griffin first met way back at UFC 59 in the spring of 2006. At the time, Griffin was on a four fight win streak including his TUF 1 Finale victory over Stephan Bonnar. Ortiz had scored two straight after being knocked out by Chuck Liddell at UFC 47, and would follow his split decision victory over Griffin by beating the piss out of poor Ken Shamrock twice in a row. Their second meeting, which went down at UFC 106, saw Griffin emerge victorious by an equally controversial split decision.

Speaking of trilogies…

(Are you there God? It’s me, Cowboy…)

A lot of fight booking action today, Potato Nation.

Before dropping a unanimous decision to Nate Diaz at UFC 141, Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone had arguably the best 2011 of any fighter out there, scoring victories over Paul Kelly, Vagner Rocha, Charles Oliveira, and Dennis Siver, three of which came by way of stoppage. And although he ended the year on a loss, Cerrone will be looking to start off 2012 with a big win when he takes on 60 fight veteran Yves Edwards at UFC on FX 3, which goes down at the Patriot Center in Fairfax, Virginia on May 15th.

After suffering one of the most brutal knockout losses of 2011 at the hands of Sam Stout, Edwards has gone 1-1 in the UFC, picking up a second round TKO over Rafaello Oliveira at UFC Live 6 before being outpointed by TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson at the TUF 14 Finale in December. Edwards will likely be a considerable underdog going into this one, so Yves, for the sake of the Thugjitsu nation, lay off the KC Masterpiece.

And in other UFC on FX news…

After rattling off four straight wins under the Strikeforce banner, including a title earning UD over Tim Kennedy at Strikeforce: Houston, Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza was gaining a lot of praise throughout the MMA blogosphere; some sites even went as far as to claim that he was one of the last challengers out there with a chance of beating Anderson Silva. Many of us thought this hype was a bit inflated, and following his rather uninspiring (not to mention title losing) effort against current champ Luke Rockhold, it seemed that  ”Jacare” was all but completely written off, destined to be the number two fighter in a promotion that was quickly running out of potential, not to mention challenging, match-ups.

Well, it looks like Souza will not be given an easy fight to begin his climb back to the top, as he has been booked to take on tough undefeated prospect Derek Brunson on the main card of the upcoming Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey event, which goes down March 3rd from the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Brunson, who has compiled 3 straight in Strikeforce, is a well rounded fighter out of Team Jackson who has notched 4 TKO victories alongside 3 submissions in his 9 fight career, most recently scoring a unanimous decision over Nate James at Strikeforce Challengers 20.

In other fight booking news…

(Ain’t that the truth.) 

Yesterday, the UFC announced that its second UFC on FUELTV event was set to transpire in Stockholm, Sweden, prompting fight booking rumors to materialize faster than an Ikea entertainment center. First off, a clash between middleweight strikers Brian Stann and Alessio Sakara is apparently in the works, and promises to be what JR would call, “a good old fashioned slobber knocker.”

After putting together a three fight win streak between 2008 and 2010, “Legionarius” has not fought since dropping a unanimous decision to last minute replacement and fast rising middleweight contender Chris Weidman at UFC Live 3. Sakara was set to face Jorge Rivera on two separate occasions, at UFC 118 and 133, but was forced to pull out from both fights due to some bad fish and a torn ACL, respectively. Stann similarly saw a three fight streak snapped at UFC 136, when he was dominated on the mat by Chael Sonnen en route to a second round arm triangle submission. Given Sakara’s somewhat suspect chin, you gotta imagine this match is Stann’s to lose.

When the UFC first announced the location of this event, there were a couple of names, mainly Alexander Gustafsson and Papy Abedi, that most figured would have to be included on the card. Though “The Mauler” has yet to be given an opponent, Abedi has already been booked to take on James Head. Abedi will be looking to rebound from a first round submission(!) loss to Thiago Alves in his UFC debut back at UFC 138 when he takes on Head, who is also coming off an unsuccessful octagon debut. The Oklahoma native was choked out by Nick Ring in the third round of their UFC 131 battle.

(NOW we get why Kyle’s friends often refer to him as “The Poke” Noke.) 

After collecting three straight stoppage victories in as many UFC contests, EliteXC and TUF 11 veteran Kyle Noke was quickly building up a reputation as one of the top up-and-comers in the middleweight division. Being one of the few successful Australian fighters to grace the UFC (sorry, Elvis), Noke carried a bit more pressure on his shoulders than the average TUF alum, especially when heading into his UFC Live 5 match against resurgent TUF 3 veteran Ed Herman. Unfortunately Noke (and therefore the Australian MMA community), would fall to a first round heel hook in that fight, placing all Aussie UFC hopes in the hands of a man nicknamed after an animal relative to Africa.

But fret not, ye Fosters enthusiasts, for Noke’s path to redemption will begin in the land from which he was birthed. Yes, “KO” recently announced that he will be taking on Jared Hamman at UFC on FX 2, which goes down at the Allphones Arena in Sydney, Australia. Hamman, whom we will forever be in debt to for knocking CB Dolloway out of the UFC, will also be looking to build up a win streak; he was most recently flattened in the first round by Constantinos Philippou at UFC 140. This match has yet to be confirmed by the UFC.

Join us after the jump for some juicy featherweight and bantamweight gossip…

(Who did this to my brother? I WANT HIS NAME!!) 

Another pair of interesting matches at 170 lbs. have recently been added to UFC 143′s already welterweight-stacked card. If you are anything like us, then you likely expected Matt Brown would receive his walking papers after dropping his fourth loss via submission (and second via guillotine) in his past five fights to Seth Baczynski at UFC 139. Well, it turns out Brown will be given another shot at UFC glory, and will be fighting for not only his Zuffa contract, but the chance to keep his record above .500 when he takes on TUF 13 cast member Chris Cope.

Cope will be looking to rebound from the devastating 40 second TKO loss he suffered at the hands (and more specifically, knees) of Che Mills in Mills’ UFC debut back at UFC 138.

(This is where we’d normally make some sort of Geico Caveman reference, but those jokes, like the commercials, have been played out to the point of eye-gouging redundancy. So, uh…beauty and the beast?) 

Though they may not get your engine revving, a couple of sure-to-be-undercard bouts have been booked for the UFC’s debut on FUEL TV, the first of which being a featherweight match-up between grappling wizards Jonathan Brookins and Rani Yahya. After lateral dropping his way through season 12 of The Ultimate Fighter, Brookins recently saw a four fight win streak snapped at the hands of featherweight contender Eric Koch in a three rounder reminiscent of Couture vs. Vera that saw Brookins unable to get Koch to the mat.

Yahya, on the other hand, is likely fighting for his future in the UFC. Just 1-3 in his past four, with the lone win coming against a struggling (and last minute replacement) Mike Brown, we last saw Yahya on the losing end of a unanimous decision to Jose Aldo‘s next challenger, Chad Mendes. Prior to the Brown win, Yahya was outclassed by Takeya Mizugaki in another decision at WEC 48 and TKO’ed by future flyweight champ Joseph Benavidez at WEC 45.

(Roop: seen here enforcing the theory that a straight shot to the head will kill any zombie.) 

Looking to rebound from his controversial decision loss to Hatsu Hioki at UFC 137, featherweight contender and TUF 8 alum George Roop has recently agreed to face Cub Swanson at UFC on Fox 2. Prior to the Hikoi loss, Roop scored a brilliant thrid round TKO over Josh Grispi at the TUF 13 Finale in June. Swanson, on the other hand, is coming off a less-than-controversial second round submission via arm triangle choke to Ricardo Lamas in his UFC debut at UFC on Fox 1. The Team Jackson product has dropped three of his last five and should need a win here if he wants to continue fighting under the Zuffa banner.

Fun fact: Roop hasn’t put together a win streak since 2007 and has gone loss-win in his past 9 bouts (excluding a draw with Leonard Garcia), so pure logic dictates that he will emerge victorious from this one. You can’t argue with that science, Potato Nation.