(Your move, Sonny Corleone.)

I have seen some incredible flops in my day, Potato Nation. I’ve watched nearly 1000 hours of World Cup soccer, I spent two summers in the 90′s at the Vlade Divac School of Basketball, and I even made it through the first 40 minutes of Cloud Atlas before I faked a stroke to get out of that God forsaken theater. But believe me when I say that nothing, nothing I’ve come across compares to the flop that took place during former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards’ most recent boxing match.

Edwards — who was released by the Falcons in November — was actually competing in his third professional boxing match last Saturday. But like Kimbo Slice and more notably Aleksander Emelianenko before him, the opponents being put before Edwards all seem to be suffering from various degrees of sudden onset narcolepsy. Here’s a video of Edwards’ second fight against Corey Briggs, a man I can only assume has since lost at least a foot to diabetes. And if you think that looked fishy, just wait until you see his most recent farce.

Video after the jump. 

(I swear to God, you guys, I’ve seen this image before.) 

Yesterday, I went a little off the beaten path and covered the world of professional wrestling, specifically Brock Lesnar’s re-signing with the WWE and subsequent F-5ing of company President Vince McMahon. Although the video was unquestionably hilarious, most of you guys (at least those who took the time to comment) were not able to set aside your MMA bias for even a second to enjoy it. And it’s a shame, because even if Air Force One is your all-time favorite film, does that mean you cannot occasionally enjoy the goofball satirical humor of Airplane? Please don’t delve any further into that terrible analogy, but of all the websites to cover the Lesnar story (and there were a few), I was kind of surprised that the audience of the “comedic” one had the least sense of humor about it.

So I’m not sure how you’ll take the news that TUF 10 veteran Kimbo Slice returned to the world of boxing last night, or the fact that we’ve decided to devote yet another article to it. On one hand, Kimbo is at least competing in a “real” sport after leaving the UFC. On the other, he is as tenuously connected to the world of MMA as Lesnar is these days, so perhaps we should just ignore him. On the third hand, Slice’s most recent fight against Australian-based journeyman Shane Tilyard was fucking awesome. As is usually the case in a Slice fight, things weren’t exactly pretty, but boy were they entertaining (for a round or so). For Christ’s sake, Kimbo attempted two takedowns in the fight. If you can’t appreciate that kind of irony, then we are just not the same kind of fight fans.

Video after the jump.

(Pacquiao vs. Marquez I, 5/8/04. Videos via HBOSports, props to BloodyElbow for the tip.)

In the lead-up to this weekend’s historic fourth meeting between Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez, HBO Sports was kind enough to upload all three of their previous fights to its YouTube channel. That’s 36 rounds (and two-and-a-half hours) of some of the highest-level boxing that the sport has seen in the last ten years. Though each fight was decided on a razor-thin margin, Marquez has been unable to get his hand raised so far. Will the fourth time be a charm? And can this latest fight match up to the legendary history of the Pacquaio vs. Marquez rivalry?

Fights 2 and 3 are after the jump…

(It’s never a good sign when the crowd actually *laughs* during the glove-touch. Props: crazycnote13 via MiddleEasy)

Former MMA superstar Kimbo Slice improved his pro boxing record to 6-0 (5 KOs) with a very quick knockout of Howard Jones, a Missouri-based “journeyman” who came into the match on a four-fight losing streak. Is it just me, or is Jones a dead ringer for Worst Fighters in UFC History nominee Greg “Ranger” Stott? (Maybe I’m just a racist bastard who thinks all pudgy white guys look the same. That’s certainly a possibility.)

The fight, which went down Saturday night at the Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma — which was also the site of Slice’s previous boxing wins over James Wade and Charles Hackmann — was essentially decided by just two punches. First, Kimbo lands a sharp left hook to the gut that forces Jones to take a knee. Shortly after, Kimbo lands an uppercut that convinces Jones to play dead until the ref finishes his ten-count.

Let’s just say that Kimbo will face quite the jump in competition if he actually fights Roy Jones Jr. in December. Up until now, Kimbo has played the role of the Kiai master, laying out his poor students with energy-bullets. I can’t wait to see what happens when he finally steps into the ring against an actual boxer.

(Props: MischiefMaker37 via TheUG)

“I really do believe that madness and excellence are just next door neighbors.”

So says Joe Rogan in this fascinating highlight reel focusing on a trio of “extreme winners” — Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, and Michael Jordan — narrated by clips from Rogan’s podcast. Rogan proposes that “a lot of success in athletics comes down to almost like a psychosis. At a real high level of anything, there’s a certain amount of almost crazy behavior to get to this incredible position…there’s a madness.”

Over the clips covering each athlete’s monumental career, Rogan shares his thoughts about the behavior and performances of each athlete, and what made them such outliers in professional sports. Maybe this is only tangentially related to MMA, but if you’re interested in Ali and Tyson, and the mental edges (or disorders?) that make athletic legends so different from the rest of humanity, you’ll want to watch this.

(Props: 69hailey via CP reader Aaron B.)

When a delusional wannabe-fighter like Jose Canseco gets wrecked in a celebrity boxing match, it comes as no surprise to anybody. But when it happens to an actual former UFC fighter like Gabe Ruediger? I mean, how do you explain that? Sure, Gabe wasn’t exactly a successful UFC fighter — and radio host/author/adventurer Jason Ellis is a tough S.O.B. who knows how to throw them hands — but when the two met in a boxing exhibition at Ellismania 8 in Las Vegas last month, you’d assume that Ruediger would be the favorite. Instead, he got knocked out cold at the end of the round two. The fact that Gabe wore a t-shirt into the ring suggests that he might not have taken his training camp as seriously as he should have.

And yes, that’s Jason “Mayhem” Miller shouting on the mic; a few weeks later, he would be begging Dana White to kill himself. If only we could have held onto that moment, when Miller was in high spirits, a packed arena was cheering Gabe Ruediger’s latest sad defeat, and everything seemed right with the world.

Speaking of things that happened last night that were laughably predictable, Kimbo Slice is still earning his bread as a professional boxer. Well, perhaps “earning” is the wrong word. Earning implies that he is making it by winning competitive matches against reasonably credible opponents. Really, $kala is just giving Kimbo his bread at this point. Or, if you’re cheesy enough to go there, Shaw is just feeding the guy.

I will say this much: At least last night’s fight wasn’t the (potentially-worked) shitstorm that was his last fight against Brian Green. After watching Kimbo get saved by the bell against a fitness instructor making his professional boxing debut on one day’s notice followed by his aforementioned bout with Brian Green, Shaw was taking absolutely no chances when searching for an opponent this time around.

(Kimbo performing a dramatic retelling of the Samuel L. Jackson narrated “Go the Fuck to Sleep” by way of Tay Bledsoe.)

Youtube Sensation/UFC vet/pornstar confidant Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will be looking to improve his professional boxing record to 4-0 come March 24th, when he welcomes former MMA fighter Mike Glenn to the boxing world at the O’Reilly Center in Springfield, Missouri in a card dubbed Fight Night Returns.

Since being ousted from the UFC following a second round TKO loss to Matt Mitrione at UFC 113 and subsequently calling it a day on his MMA career, Slice has scored three straight victories inside the boxing ring, the first two of which came via brutal one punch knockout inside the first round. It appeared as if the future Spike TV host was destined for WBA dominance, until he ran into personal fitness trainer and boxing newbee Charles Hackmann. Although Hackmann came into the bout on just a day’s notice, he managed to make it the distance with Kimbo and nearly finished him in the second round. The win, to say the least, was not impressive.

(Props: tadasjonkus via LiverKick)

Admit it — you like to see fighters get gruesomely hung out to dry once in a while. Our knockout of the day comes to us from a kickboxing show in Trieste, Italy, over the weekend, in which Tadas Jonkus knocks out Giuseppe Patane so thoroughly that Patane sloooowly tumbles out of the ring, head-first. The sight would almost be comical, if not for the fact that his landing surely added even more brain-damage to the concussion he already suffered from that blitz of punches. Arrivederci, my dude.

Meanwhile, halfway around the world in Albuquerque, boxing champion/MMA fighter Holly Holm suffered the first knockout loss of her career, eating it in the seventh round against Anne Sophie Mathis. The good news is, she didn’t fall on her head afterwards. The bad news is, she was basically K.O.’d through the ropes twice, due to a dangerously inept referee. Take a look…

(Frazier poses with his arch-rival Muhammad Ali and that reptilian motherfucker Don King. Props: Sports Illustrated)

Boxing legend Joe Frazier — whose aggressive style and notorious left hook earned him an Olympic gold medal in 1964 and an undisputed heavyweight title reign from 1970-1972 — died yesterday evening after a brief battle with liver cancer.

“The world has lost a great champion,” said Muhammad Ali, who fought Frazier three times in the ’70s, including their “Fight of the Century” first meeting (which Frazier won by unanimous decision) and their “Thrilla in Manila” rubber match (which Ali won by corner stoppage). “I will always remember Joe with respect and admiration. My sympathy goes out to his family and loved ones,” Ali added.

From 1965-1981, Smokin’ Joe racked up a professional record of 32-4-1, with 27 wins by knockout; his only losses came against Ali and George Foreman. In recent years, Frazier spent his time running a boxing gym in Philadelphia, and trained his children Marvis and Jackie, who also competed professionally in boxing.

After the jump: Ten of the best Joe Frazier videos on the Internet.

(Props: gsemajt)

Floyd Mayweather upped his perfect boxing record to 42-0 last night with a fourth-round knockout of Victor Ortiz, a win that earned him the WBC Welterweight World Title — but it wouldn’t be Money May without a little controversy.

Mayweather controlled the majority of the first three rounds with his trademark speed, outlanding his younger opponent. The fourth frame was a back-and-forth slugfest, opening with a furious assault by Floyd. But Ortiz turned the tables and battered Mayweather against the ropes in the final minute. Unfortunately, the 24-year-old let his emotions get the better of him.

As you can see in the video above, Ortiz blatantly head-butts Mayweather with 14 seconds left in the round. The referee spots the foul and immediately separates the fighters. By way of apology, Ortiz walks over to Mayweather to give him a hug and kiss. That’s strike one.

Kimbo Slice‘s pro-boxing debut last night in Oklahoma ended in highlight-reel fashion, as the former bare-knuckle YouTube brawler/MMA fighter turned out James Wade‘s lights with a crushing right uppercut, sending him through the bottom rope just 10 seconds into the match. Check out the video above for two different angles of the finish; as you can see, it took a long time for Wade to regain his senses.

Ariel Helwani passes along the word that Kimbo’s next match is scheduled for October 15th, possibly on the undercard of Bernard Hopkins vs. Chad Dawson. Can Kevin Ferguson really be an injection into boxing’s heavyweight division?

(Props: ix3623vault)

Think of it as a necessary cool-down after those ring girl videos. Starring: Dwayne Lewis, Mark Hominick, Kazushi Sakuraba, and a bunch of lumpy boxers. Gross.

If you missed Manny Pacquiao‘s latest performance on Saturday night, well, you didn’t miss much. The boxing megastar defended his WBO welterweight title by unanimous decision against “Sugar” Shane Mosley, in a bout that was marked by a disappointing lack of action. It’s not suprising that this CBS Sports highlight reel starts at the end of the 10th round. The only notable moments before that were a knockdown that Pacquiao scored in the 3rd frame — which seemed to convince Mosley to quit engaging altogether — and a trip/shove by Mosley earlier in the tenth that the referee decided to rule a knockdown, just to keep things interesting. Nevertheless, two of the judges ignored the ref’s bad call and gave every round to Pacquiao.

As we told y’all on Friday, the Pacquaio/Mosley match was Gus Johnson’s final play-by-play gig for Showtime, and he made sure to trot out his diverse range of knowledge. At the 0:52 mark: “He kinda throws, in the MMA world, it’s a version of the ‘Superman’ punch.” GuJo‘s just keeping the chops sharp until the UFC comes calling, I guess.

After every mechanical victory by Pacquiao over an outmatched opponent, our thoughts always turn to Floyd Mayweather Jr., and what he might be up to right now. Well, get a load of this…