(Visual proof that we as a species are attracted to tragedy.)

As is usually the case when long forgotten boxers announce their transition to the world of MMA, Ricardo Mayorga’s professional debut was nothing short of a shitshow. He came in some twenty pounds overweight, he illegally kneed his opponent in the spine to get out of a submission, and he was somehow declared the winner by TKO. All in all, we gave it 3.5 out of 5 James Tonys.

But unfortunately, Potato Nation, the comeback story on par with the Bruins insane overtime victory last night has ended in as sad a fashion as it began. Word was passed along yesterday that, following the Nicaraguan MMA commission’s review of the fight, Mayorga’s win has been officially overturned to a no contest. Additionally, the former boxing champ has also been suspended from MMA competition for 3 months, which might as well be a decade because there is next to no chance that we will ever see Mayorga in the octagon again. We can only hope.

And to think, if only the fight had been held on an Indian reservation, we’d all be talking about MMA’s hottest new 40 year-old prospect. Probably.

-J. Jones

(“Must…not…show…joy.” Photo courtesy of Mark J. Rebilas.)

Nick Diaz came one step closer to his grumpy transition toward a boxing career today, as a press release was distributed claiming that Jeff Lacy has officially signed to box Diaz this fall. A former IBF super-middleweight champion, Lacy was one of the guys who Gary Shaw dismissed as an irrelevant opponent for Diaz, but when you have a 1-0 record in boxing (as Diaz does), beggars can’t be choosers. In fact, Diaz is just as irrelevant an opponent for Lacy when you think about it, but whatever.

No date or venue has been named yet, although the event will be titled “Breaking History.” (Good. As long as we have the important stuff locked down, everything else should fall into place on its own.) Said promoter Don Chargin in the press release: “This is a very dangerous fight for both men. Not only is this fight dangerous but stylistically it is very intriguing. I expected more resistance from fight fans and media in regards to this match-up but it’s amazing as to the hundreds of calls and e-mails I’ve received from fans on both sides wanting to see this match-up take place. I’ve received more than a few inquiries from some other very high-profile boxers that want to step up and fight Nick. Its been a real whirlwind…

(Vitor Belfort is so badass that Mike Tyson wears his t-shirt. Meanwhile, James Toney’s shirt has been discounted from $49.98 to "free with any purchase at the Salvation Army.")

Since James Toney allowed himself to be humiliated (for a large paycheck) in a cage-fight at UFC 118, it’s only fair that a representative from the UFC should let Toney try to redeem himself in a boxing ring. Could an MMA star hang with a boxing champ with 12-ounce gloves, no leg kicks, no takedowns, player? If Vitor Belfort gets his way — and we sincerely hope he does — the MMA vs. boxing freak show timeline may get a unique new chapter. As the Phenom tweeted this weekend:

"Dana let me fight James Tony on 6 round boxe Mach I think I can catch him with my speed…Dana will be the 1 boxing match in Ufc I promise he will fell my power and we will show the world the a Ufc fighter can do better"

Okay, we all know that the UFC isn’t in the business of putting on six-round boxing matches, historically speaking. But giving Vitor a day-pass to box James Toney outside of his UFC contract sounds like great publicity to me. I know the dude has a #2 middleweight contender’s match lined up for November, but come on, Belfort wins this fight nine times out of ten and goes home to his nude model wife completely unscathed. And it shouldn’t surprise you that the Dark Emperor is down with the idea…

(Just pick the one that goes best with your shoes, Manny. PicProps: The Global Herald)

It was only a matter of time before someone published this story, right? In the wake of James Toney’s halfhearted loss to Randy Couture last weekend at UFC 118, BoxingScene.com reports that pound-for-pound boxing king Manny Pacquiao says he’d be interested in bringing his skills to the cage, too. Obviously there’s no chance this ever happens – and we assume the next few months will be full of breathless “(Insert Famous Boxer’s Name Here) Also Interested in MMA!” stories – but it is at least interesting to note that even the best pugilist on the planet is willing to give lip service to fighting in our sport.

It’s also worthwhile to follow the link just to read the few comments on Boxing Scene’s original story. We don’t want to spoil it for you, but let’s just say there is across-the-board agreement from guys with names like “Neck Snapper” that “Pac” would destroy these “UFC fags.” There also seems to be some confusion about the proper use of “there, their and they’re.” Just saying.

(Keep laughing, KenFlo. It won’t be so funny when “Lights Out” brings the side check kick down to 155. PicProps: Heavy.com)

Sunday morning, you wake up. Splitting hangover headache. You roll over and nausea sweeps through your body. You will yourself not to puke. “Where am I,” you think, “and who is this fat chick?” The night before is a total blur. There are significant gaps. You remember being at the bar, yelling unintelligible shit at a TV. Some guy you don’t know kept buying you shots. You might’ve left a bunch of voicemails for that girl you like. After that you must – wait — then it hits you. Holy fucking shit. Randy Couture fucking LOST to James Toney last night.

Scary though huh, PotatoNation? Consider the above paragraph a kind of public service announcement. Some don’t-let-this-happen-to-you type shit. Here at The Potato we are nothing if not realists. We believe wholeheartedly in expecting the best while preparing for the worst, or whatever the terrible cliché says we ought to do. For that reason, it’s probably a good idea that we all spend a few minutes considering the possibility that Toney might actually beat Couture at tonight’s UFC 118. You know, just in case. It won’t be easy, but we can get through this together.

(“Tapping out is for bitches. Getting *knocked* out is more my speed.” PicProps: ESPN)

So, it takes Roy Jones Jr. all of like five seconds to offer to fight Kimbo Slice during this interview with FightHype.com, after the website calls the former multi-divisional boxing champion this to get “his quick thoughts” on the street fighter/UFC washout making the fulltime switch to pugilism. At least, we think Jones is talking about boxing when he keeps saying he might “give it” to Kimbo. To his credit, Jones seems politely hesitant to fight Slice in the same way a chubby kid says “Oh, I really couldn’t” when you offer him the last slice of pie. Dig it:

“I think it’s a beautiful thing for him to try the sweet science,” Jones says in response to FightHype’s first question where, for the record, they don’t mention anything about him actually fighting Kimbo. “I’d have to see what he’s weighing if he wants me to come in there and give him a try at it. But if he wants it that bad, I might give it to Kimbo. It’s a great opportunity for him. It’s a great fight for Florida.”

(Video courtesy YouTube/UFC StannFan1)

The hype behind this weekend’s James Toney-Randy Couture showdown has focused largely around the "Is MMA better than Boxing?" quandary, which, up until this point has never really been answered, and in my opinion really won’t be answered by this fight.

The question really should be "Who would win in a fight between a top-tier boxer and a top-tier MMA fighter?"

(Like "Good Will Hunting," without the smart one. PicProps: CombatLifestyle.)

Given the location of this weekend’s card and the company’s insistence on promoting the co-main event as a “UFC vs. boxing,” spectacle it’s a bit surprising we haven’t heard more from Marcus Davis leading up to UFC 118. Davis after all is a former professional pugilist who made the transition to MMA long before James Toney began mastering the art of the “side check kick.” But maybe because he’s just 3-3 in his last six fights and his upcoming bout with Nate Diaz is scheduled to be first on Saturday’s PPV card, the “Irish Hand Grenade” hasn’t grabbed many headlines as the Octagon prepares to storm Beantown.

Davis did however sit down for an equal parts funny and scary interview with MMA Junkie this week. In it, he discusses how he made his bones in the hardscrabble world of the small-time Boston boxing scene in the late ’90s and basically makes his life sound like the plot of an unproduced Sylvester Stallone movie. You know, back before Sylvester Stallone movies were just a collection of one-liners tied loosely together by scenes of shit blowing up.

When James Toney meets Randy Couture at UFC 118 next Saturday, he’ll be attempting to prove the dominance of the "sweet science" over that weird stuff that gay skinheads do. Of course, he won’t be the first pugilist to try to beat an MMA fighter at their own game — boxing vs. martial arts challenge matches have been around since before "Lights Out" was born. Join us as we take a look back at the brave boxers who preceded Toney…and what became of them.

MILO SAVAGE vs. "JUDO" GENE LeBELL
December 2, 1963

Arguably the first sanctioned MMA match in American history, Savage vs. LeBell came together when legendary judoka/actor Gene LeBell answered a challenge from boxer Jim Beck, who claimed that a professional boxer could beat any martial artist. (Yep, they’ve been making the same boast for almost 50 years.) According to LeBell, he was expecting to fight Beck himself in the televised match, but his opponent was switched at the last minute to Milo Savage, a top-5-ranked light-heavyweight who was allegedly wearing brass knuckles under his fingerless speed-bag gloves, and was greased from head to toe. Despite the disadvantages, Gene sunk a lapel choke in the 4th round and put Savage to sleep. But as with most stories involving Judo Gene, the details are somewhat debatable; this Jonathan Snowden article debunks several aspects of LeBell’s version. Still, LeBell vs. Savage deserves credit as the first MMA-style fight on television, and set up a rivalry between boxing and martial arts that’s somehow still relevant today.

MUHAMMAD ALI vs. ANTONIO INOKI
June 26, 1976

It sounded like good, harmless fun — the greatest boxer of all time taking on Japanese pro-wrestling kingpin Antonio Inoki in an exhibition match in Tokyo. But in the days leading up to the show, bizarre rules were added that restricted certain attacks. Most notably, Inoki could only kick if he had one knee on the ground. So, he scooted around the ring kicking Ali’s legs for the entire 15-round duration. Ali only landed six punches the entire fight and went home with two blood clots and an infection. The bout was ruled a draw, and has garnered a reputation as one of the ugliest fiascos in the history of combat sports. Fun fact: The referee of this match? None other than mixed-fighting pioneer Gene LeBell.

(Props: CBS Sports via Bloody Elbow)

"It takes true skills to be in the sport of boxing, and mixed martial arts is for beer-drinkers. Boxing is for everybody. I mean, you can’t take my shoes off and take my shirt off and just throw me in a cage. You do that with animals, you don’t do that with humans…In boxing, we know who’s dominating. Black fighters and Hispanic fighers is dominating in this sport. And this is not a racial statement but [Ed. note: Here comes the racial statement] there’s no white fighters in boxing that’s dominating, so they had to go to something else and start something new." — Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

What’s ironic is that even in MMA, the two best fighters in the world are Quinton Jackson and King Mo. Also in the interview, Money Mayweather says that his duckery of Manny Pacquiao is due to the fact that Pac-Man isn’t his own boss, and that the recent murders of Steve McNair and Arturo Gatti have scared him off women for a while.

As for Money’s criticisms of MMA, what can you say, really? There’s some people who will never appreciate our sport because it’s done by shoeless people in a cage, and because an MMA match has less rounds than boxing, and because the only thing in the world that requires skill is punching, and because MMA was invented by frustrated white boxers, apparently. When the criticisms are lobbed by boxers themselves, or people who discuss boxing for a living, you can’t really take it too personally.