(Just another day researching hard-hitting stories here at the CP offices.) 

Arianny Celeste is officially a triple threat. Not only can she strike a pose with the best of them, but she can sing the roof off the rafters. And now….this.

Cast as “Japanese schoolgirl” in the latest video by electro pop band Manufactured Superstars, Ms. Celeste turns in a performance that will surely go down as the single greatest piece of acting in a four minute party sequence of all time. Simply put, it brought tears to my penis eyes. As for the music itself, well, it roughly reminds me of something I’d come upon if I happened to be playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, so make what you want of that, and join us after the jump for the video.

Also after the jump: everyone’s favorite HR disaster, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson slaps a willing fan, and Brendan Schuab goes ghost hunting. 

(Something’s different here. I just can’t put my finger on it)

It kind of snuck up on you there, didn’t it? Don’t worry, us too. Funny, we must’ve had other stuff on our minds this week because it feels like we haven’t given UFC 128 the attention it probably deserves. Without the UFC’s historic acquisition of that other company whose name already escapes us, this weekend’s main event featuring largely overlooked champion Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and insanely hyped challenger Jon Jones would be one of the most hotly anticipated fights of the year. Instead, it feels as if it’s already on top of us and we haven’t even figured out if Jones and Rashad Evans are still boys yet.

Anyway, you know what you came here for. As always, the odds for this week’s event come to us from Sportsbook.com and our picks are presented for entertainment purposes only. Also, for the purposes of WINNING MAJOR WADS OF CASH! What! … yeah … ahem … you’ll have to excuse us, we’re pretty jacked about this one. After the jump find our foolproof scheme for checking major bank at UFC 128, all without leaving your couch.

Of the four ex-NFL players on the upcoming season of "The Ultimate Fighter," Brendan Schaub’s football stats are the least impressive.  He never played in a game, and never did much more than practice with the Buffalo Bills before being cut.  But the former University of Colorado fullback is probably the most legit fighter of all the ex-ballers.  At 6’4" and 240 pounds, the guy is a former Golden Gloves champion boxer who trains with Shane Carwin and Nate Marquardt in Colorado.  He’s only been a pro fighter for a little over a year, so he’s still pretty green and his 4-0 record includes wins against people you’ve never heard of, like 38-year-old Johnny Curtis in the above video who says, "I’m in good shape," as if someone has just accused him of something. 

Nevertheless, when I talked to him Schaub made a point of distinguishing himself from the other former football players by pointing out that, unlike others, he isn’t in this just because he needs something to do during his retirement:

"The UFC pushes this whole ‘four ex-NFL players’ story. I didn’t play a down in the NFL," Schaub said. "The difference between me and these other football guys is I’m a born fighter. A lot of these guys sound like their NFL career just didn’t work out so now they’re trying MMA. That’s not me. I really am a fighter."

Is that a shot at Marcus Jones?  Sure sounds like it.  We’re not saying Schaub deserves to be a favorite to win the show, especially with guys like Roy Nelson in the way, but at the very least he’s got serious future potential.  Check out more video evidence after the jump.