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Tag: Brittney Palmer

Friday Link Dump: Pat Barry Kicks Down Hotel Doors to Rescue Trapped Woman, Ivan Menjivar Gets Pink-Slipped, Hot Hula-Hoopers & More


(Well hello there! Fitness Gurls just released a new photoshoot with UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer, and you might want to check it out.)

Pat Barry Kicks in Two Doors to Save a Woman Trapped in Her Hotel Room (Fox Sports Haymaker)

UFC Releases Ivan Menjivar (MMAFighting)

Maurice Jackson Out of Tonight’s Bellator 113 After Slipping on Hotel Floor and Hurting Knee (MMAMania)

Cris Cyborg Passes Random NSAC Test in Advance of Kickboxing Title Fight (MMA Junkie)

Who’s the Hottest Webcam Girl of 2014? Vote for Your Favorite Now! (EveryJoe)

10 Classic Songs With Bizarre, Illogical Titles — And What They Should Be Called Instead (HolyTaco)

Jeffrey the Beer-Drinking Camel Is Literally My Spirit-Animal (PopHangover)

Real Signs You’re A Nymphomaniac And Not Just A Horny Jerk (TheGloss)

The Film Cult Presents: Death Becomes Her (ScreenJunkies)

Experimental Brews: 15 Coffees You’ve Never Heard Of (HiConsumption)

10 More Times Celebrities Overshared About Their Sex Lives (Crushable)

The 15 Best Videos of Hot Girls Hula Hooping (Ranker)

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Squirting on Camera: The 10 Creepiest Lines Jesse Holland Has Ever Written About Brittney Palmer

If you’re not familiar with MMAMania’s Jesse Holland, well, he’s kind of like the Gene Shalit or Pete Hammond of MMA writing, in that he specializes in pun-ridden “articles” with upworthy headlines that are usually bereft of any intellectual or comedic value whatsoever. I realize the irony in saying this just a day after writing an article composed mainly of dog gifs, but there’s a fine line between intentional absurdity and plain corniness (or creepiness) and Mr. Holland has dragged his ass along that line under the false guise of “MMA reporting” for far too long.

You see, when Jesse isn’t cramming as much loathsome and nonsensical puns into an article as humanely possible — puns like “Jugs, not drugs” (while discussing Miesha Tate’s breasts) or “cuckoo for Cuoco’s puffs” (on the Henry Cavill/Gina Carano split) — he’s probably penning alliteration-heavy headlines using sickening, pornography-based puns to lure in the middle school troglodytes who actually find his material humorous. He’s the Peeping Tom version of Eric Holden, essentially, but with a semi-respectable publication to back his self-masturbatory musings.

In any case, one of Mr. Holland’s favorite subjects to cover is that of UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer (or should I say, Brittney Palm-Her), who you might have heard hosts a web series called “Hot & Slow,” which itself is an incredibly lame pun. After reading Jesse’s most recent gag-inducing headline, “Brittney Palmer squirting on camera during FOX ‘Slow & Hot’ painting webisode” we (I) decided that someone had to put an end to his click-baiting agenda or at least call him out on it. Because while CagePotato may be a website that is 50% ring girl galleries and and 50% MMA reporting (okay, 60-40), we at least grant our readers the common courtesy of occasional subtlety.

So join us after the jump as we take a look back at 10 of the creepiest lines Holland has written about Brittney Palmer in the hopes that he will end this MMA charade and just get a job with OMG! Insider already.

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The 12 Greatest Ring Girls in UFC History, Ranked


(Edith and Arianny on the job, back when the phrase “GOD’S STREET SOLDIER” used to mean something. / Photo via CombatLifestyle.com)

When ranking the greatest UFC ring girls of all time, four criteria must be considered: looks, personality, longevity, and whether or not they ever posed nude for Playboy. (That last one is probably the most important.) So in honor of the UFC’s 20th anniversary, we decided to pay tribute to the unsung heroines of the Octagon, who bravely circle the cage in booty-shorts to remind drunken fans what round it is. Disagree with our list? Then let us know in the comments section, tough guy.

#12 & #11 (tie): Chrissy Blair and Vanessa Hanson

Chrissy and Vanessa both made their UFC ring girl debuts in 2011 after winning contests put on by Transworld, and were officially added to the Octagon Girl rotation earlier this year following a stint in Strikeforce. They’re kind of a package deal, and we can’t decide which one is more attractive, so we’ll let them share the leadoff spots on this list. (Honestly, the Betty and Veronica thing will never go out of style.) Chrissy and Vanessa were most recently seen earlier this month, supporting the troops.

For further viewing:
- Golden goddess
- The artsy black and white shot
- Long tall Chrissy
- She really ties the room together
- Coming undone
- A woman in uniform
- Strikeforce’s dynamic duo

#10: Jessica Cambensy

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Fear the Fighter Caption Contest #2: And the Winner Is…


(Photo via Getty.)

Thanks to everybody who entered last week’s Buff-tacular Fear the Fighter caption contest! Before we reveal who won a Combat Line t-shirt of his/her choice courtesy of Fear the Fighter, check out a few honorable mentions that almost made the cut, from Thursday’s post and the Facebook thread

El Drizzle: Bruce Buffer: the original “Uncle Creepy.”

Jenn Baird: At least this one acknowledges that I even exist.

Brad White: So that’s the guy who bought my T-shirt!

Rudy Rosado: IT’S TIME!!!!!! . . . . . for a threesome.

Scott Butler: Joke’s on Arianny. I am wearing Brittney Palmer underwear.

And the winner is…

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Fear the Fighter Caption Contest #2: Bruce Buffer, Dangerously Obsessed Fan


(FTF’s Wrestling tee. Check out the rest of their Combat Line shirts here.)

As promised, we’re giving you another chance to win a Combat Line t-shirt from our good friends at Fear the Fighter. Want to tell the world that your style is the strongest? Then listen up…

After the jump, you’ll find a picture of Veteran Voice of the Octagon™ Bruce Buffer, making it clear where he stands in the Arianny vs. Brittney debate. Submit a clever photo-caption to the comments section of this post by Sunday night at midnight PT. We’ll select one winner on Monday, who will receive a Combat Line shirt of his/her choice. Any questions, let us know in the comments section. Good luck.

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Obligatory Brittney Palmer Lingerie Photoshoot Post

The lack of fucks we give about whatever UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer has had done to her mouth/face region can simply not be overstated (understated?). Criticizing her “duck lip” or “Joan Rivers face” — as the surely Derek Zoolander-looking members of MMA forums near and far have described it — is akin to chastising a star for shining too brightly, an Arby’s sandwich for being paired with too much Au Jus. Did Palmer necessarily require (in our eyes, at least) whatever treatment she underwent? No, but we’d still yadda yadda dicks through broken glass yadda yadda hear her fart through a walkie-talkie.

We have no idea what magazine/calendar/website Ms. Palmer was recently photographed in her undies for, but again, we give less fucks about that information than Rick Grimes in the third season of The Walking Dead. So enjoy this video. Enjoy it, then start preparing that mile of broken glass to commence said dick dragging.

-J. Jones

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Friday Link Dump: Return of the Fedor-Sweater, Brian Bowles Suspended Nine Months, The 25 Greatest WWE Trash-Talkers + More


(“Flip Kick Knock Out: Girl Edition,” via Break.com)

The allure of the Fedor-sweater has not diminished… (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Nevada Commission Suspends Brian Bowles 9 Months for Failed UFC 160 Drug Test (Sherdog)

Dana White Expresses Interest in Signing Bellator Champ Ben Askren (MMAFighting)

Invicta FC Champ Cris ‘Cyborg’ Books Muay Thai Bout at Lion Fight 11 (MMAJunkie)

UFC and Dana White Seem to Prefer Blissful Ignorance on PED Use in the Sport (BloodyElbow)

Behind The Scenes Photos From Brittney Palmer’s 2014 Calendar Shoot (TerezOwens)

The 25 Greatest Trash Talkers in WWE History (Complex)

What Women Really Think About Your Dating Profile (MadeMan)

Gathering of the Juggalos Tour Diary: Day 1 (FilmDrunk)
Gathering of the Juggalos Tour Diary: Day 2 (FilmDrunk)

The Screen Junkies Show: Hottest Animated Characters (ScreenJunkies)

20 Honest Website Slogans (WorldwideInterweb)

Seven Bad Habits That Could Actually Make You Healthier (MensFitness)

What Happens When You Drive Full Speed Into a Parking Lot? (EgoTV)

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Friday Link Dump: Hendo Drops TRT, Redneck Technology, Comic-Con Cosplay + More


(MMA Nostradamus Alert: Jeff Curran predicts the future while preparing Felice Herrig for her Bellator 94 bout against Heather Clark. / Video via 1inchBoom)

Dan Henderson Explains Decision to Drop TRT Before UFC 161 (FiveOuncesofPain)

Daniel Cormier Tweets UFC 166 ‘Contract’ to Roy Nelson (BleacherReport)

Dana White Blasts Sports Illustrated for Suggesting Chris Weidman vs. Anderson Silva Was Fixed (MMAFighting)

Support Shown for MMA Bout Between Disabled Fighters (USAToday)

Matyushenko-M’Pumbu Headline Bellator 99, Freire-Nunes Set for 145 Tourney (MMAJunkie)

Brittney Palmer: Top 10 Sexiest Instagram Pics (FightDay)

The 15 Best Movies Inspired By True Events (Complex)

The Mens Fitness Sex Guide (MensFitness)

Real Life GTA-Style Driving [VIDEO] (DoubleViking)

The 20 Greatest Achievements In Redneck Technology History (WorldWideInterweb)

5 Accessories That Automatically Make You a Douchebag (EgoTV)

The 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi Is Already a Fiasco (SportsOnEarth)

Why Women Love Losers (MadeMan)

Hottest Comic-Con Cosplay, Day 1 (Break)

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Friday Link Dump: Brittney Palmer Makes the ‘Hot 100′, Another Bellator Fighter Accuses Promotion of Shady Contract Dealings, America’s Best BBQ Joints + More

After False Starts, Chris Weidman Not Sure Anderson Silva Will Fight at UFC 162 (MMAJunkie)

Former Champ Zach Makovsky Accuses Bellator of Coercing Him to Fight for Less Than His Contracted Salary (MMAFighting)

Bellator’s Brian Rogers Defends Promotion in Wake of Eddie Alvarez Lawsuit (BleacherReport)

Let’s All Be Adults and Shut Up About MMA vs. Boxing Already (BloodyElbow)

UFC 163 Video Preview for Aldo vs. Pettis (FightDay)

The 11 Best BBQ Joints in America (MadeMan)

The 25 Funniest Pro Wrestling Glamour Shots Ever (WorldwideInterweb)

The Dirtiest Players in NBA History (Complex)

Build Your Ultimate Beach Body (MensFitness)

Tips for Dating a Stoner Girl (EgoTV)

The 33 Most Influential Events Of The Last 10 Years: A Summary For Average Joes (DoubleViking)

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The 12 Best Photos From Arianny and Brittney’s FHM ‘Cheerleaders’ Pictorial


(EHRMAGERD, URPSKERTS.)

As we mentioned last week, UFC ring girls Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer scored the cover and a fantastic cheerleader-themed pictorial in the May 2013 issue of British FHM. We just discovered a bunch of the photos online via FHM’s Facebook page and HawtCelebs.com, and we’ve posted our favorites below. Click all images for full-size versions, and visit FHM.com for a lovely video from Arianny and Brittney’s photoshoot.

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