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Six Other Seth Rogen/James Franco Films That Should’ve Been Canceled

Tag: Brock Lesnar

Here’s What to Make of CM Punk in the UFC

By Matt Saccaro

When CM Punk signed with the UFC last night MMA fans, pundits and every pseudo-journalist in between lost their minds either with glee, bemusement, or disgust.

There’s not necessarily one “right” way to look at the issue of the UFC signing CM Punk (whose real name is Phil Brooks). Is he killing MMA’s credibility? Yes. Is he going to be a big draw and help the UFC out of a rut? Yes.

There’s a lot going on here. Let’s look at CM Punk’s UFC signing in depth…

CM Punk is killing the UFC’s credibility

Oh, undeniably. The argument here is signing CM Punk turns the UFC from legitimate athletic endeavor [Ed's note: LMAO] into celebrity boxing.

Proponents of this theory are, well, kind of accurate. During the Reebok sponsorship press conference last week, the UFC boasted about the Reebok deal bringing them in line with the NFL and other major sports organizations. While the realities of that statement are dubious, it’s clear the UFC wanted viewers to leave with that “fact” as a key takeaway.

But would an NFL team sign CM Punk as a QB just because he might draw ratings and sell tickets? Hell, NFL teams wouldn’t even sign perennial attention-getter Tim Tebow who’s an actual football player. And as Bleacher Report‘s Jonathan Snowden pointed out, even Michael Jordan had to start in the minor leagues when he wanted to play baseball.

The NFL, NBA, or any other big league would never sign a 36-year-old with zero sports background just for attention and a bit of quick cash. These organizations care about legitimacy or at least the illusion of legitimacy. They want to convey class and prestige. They’re athletic contests, not Dancing with the Stars.

By signing CM Punk, the UFC admitted they are an entertainment company first and a sport second. While this has arguably been true since day one, they’ve never gone out of their way to make it so apparent before.

More takes after the jump.

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Video: Chael Sonnen Breaks Down Fabricio Werdum vs. Mark Hunt on SportsCenter

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for — Chael Sonnen‘s debut appearance as a professional sports-talker on ESPN. In this clip that aired earlier today on SportsCenter, Sonnen breaks down tomorrow night’s UFC 180 main event between Fabricio Werdum and Mark Hunt, answering discussion questions from some random stiff* who mispronounces Werdum’s name, disses Roy Nelson’s gut, and ends the segment by bringing up the return of Brock Lesnar. Actually, that part spurred Chael’s best line:

“I called [Lesnar's] manager Paul Heyman this morning. I said, ‘Paul, it’s Chael. I’ve got a new job on SportsCenter. If you give me a quote regarding Brock, it’ll really make me look good.’ He said ‘Chael,’ and I quote: ‘I’m sleeping,’ and then he hung up.”

* I mean, I’m sure some of you people watch ESPN and know who Chael’s straight-man is, but I don’t, and he’s not worth googling.

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CagePotato Roundtable #34: What is the Single Worst Tattoo in MMA?


(And this debate is ALLLLLLLL OVVVERRRRR!!!)

Don’t let the “A” in MMA fool you, mixed martial arts fighters are *not* artists…at least, not  in the traditional sense of the term. Look no further than the hilariously atrocious inkwork that so often adorns their bodies for proof of this. Between the non-tribal tribal arm bands, the last name tramp stamps, and the ill-advised branding attempts, MMA fighters (and their fans — see above) sport some of the worst tattoos you’ll ever see outside of a prison cell. But who has the worst tattoo of them all? The CagePotato Roundtable investigates… 

Ben Goldstein

Matt Horwich‘s musical pencil is like something out of a nightmare. It’s a bunch of unrelated visual signifiers held together by an inscrutable logic, and the only thing being conveyed is dread. You wake up sweating after seeing this thing, and you tell your wife, “Shit, I had that dream about my stepfather again, but this time he was a pencil,” and she looks at you, trying to feign sympathy, but the apparition simply can’t be verbalized. Words will never do it justice, because it’s so much more than just “pencil, musical notes, angry face,” it’s what the pencil represents. That goddamned abusive drunk piece of shit, who hated himself because he couldn’t write songs like Neil Diamond, so he took it out on you and your mom. That face. You could put it on a cantaloupe, a hammer, the front of a steamboat, and it would still be him.

Look, I get it, Matt Horwich is eccentric. His concept of reality is not the same as yours. I’m trying to avoid judgment here, but I just can’t relate to the sort of mind that would put this on his body. It’s awful. A worn-down pencil with a ragged eraser. A face devoid of most human characteristics. And three notes — whole note, half note, quarter note! — flying upwards. It’s not a singing pencil. It’s a scowling pencil with musical notation ejecting from the end that is responsible for deletion, not creation. It’s a contradiction, and it’s unsettling. The pencil seems to be straining to get these notes out, and for what? To express that the artistic process is torture? Does the pencil wish it was a violin instead? Does Matt Horwich even remember getting this tattoo, or did it just kind of appear one day? You’re seeing it too, right? The pencil with the face? I’m not crazy, am I?

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Here’s What a UFC Magic the Gathering Set Looks Like

You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?

Well,there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen. Thankfully, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.

A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. All real photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog. Another card’s image comes from a YouTube screen capture (you’ll know which one).

With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:

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Jon Jones Hung Out With Brock Lesnar and Mike Tyson This Weekend, WHAT DID YOU DO??

Careful Mike, the man just had surgery! Also, this:

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The 27 Most Persistent Myths in MMA


(“I’m telling you people, this is the most stacked UFC card OF ALL TIME!” / Photo via Getty)

Like price sticker residue on a prized picture frame, these myths refused to be scrubbed away. You’ll encounter them on forums, barroom discussions, and even from the mouths of so-called experts. What myths are these? We’re glad you asked…

By CagePotato.com Staff 

1. MMA wouldn’t exist without Dana White. Wrong. See here.

2. Royce Gracie was a humble, respectful warrior. [Ed's note: Hopefully there's been enough recent evidence to put this falsehood to bed until the end of time.]

3. Chuck Liddell in his prime would have destroyed ________.

4. MMA has nothing in common with professional wrestling.

5. [Celebrity with zero combat sports experience] would make a great MMA fighter!

6. Motivated BJ Penn could/still can beat anybody.

7. Healthy Shogun could/still can beat anybody.

8. Brock Lesnar could’ve held the belt forever and a day had it not been for diverticulitis.

9. The UFC is not a sports entertainment company.

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Is It Time to Admit MMA Will Never Become a Mainstream Success?


(Dana White’s “If you don’t like it, we don’t want you as a fan” strategy has worked. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

UFC on FOX 11 was one of the better cards in recent memory, but nobody outside of the MMA bubble cared.

It pulled in only 1.98 million viewers—the lowest ever for a UFC event on Fox and a 27% decline from UFC on FOX 10. The fight card lost out to every other major network in total viewers, and only beat CBS in the key 18-49 demo.

“Fighting is in our DNA,” Dana White likes to maintain. It’s a universal action that everyone understands. If a fight breaks out, everyone stops what they’re doing to watch it. Fighting is raw, visceral, but somehow pure and sacrosanct. It has been part of humanity since the first caveman shot a double leg.

Except it’s not. Those lines we all swore were so true when we started watching MMA, the ones we cited as reasons for MMA’s inevitable (and rightful) ascent to greatness, are all bullshit. When a rerun of Mike and Molly draws more viewers than free fights, one has to question whether MMA will ever achieve the mainstream popularity fans and pundits have been anticipating for years now—unless an overweight Chicago police officer (no, not Mike Russow) and his wife are even more in our DNA than fighting.

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21 Times the UFC Proved They Cared More About Entertainment Than Sport


(#22: Building doors out of wet cardboard for dramatic effect.)

The UFC is not a sports organization. They’re an entertainment company that dabbles in athletic competition. Here’s the proof:

1. Firing Jake Shields.

2. Firing Yushin Okami.

3. Firing Jon Fitch.

4. Not firing Dan Hardy (“I like guys who WAR“)

5. Giving Chael Sonnen a title shot coming off a loss.

6. Giving Nick Diaz a title shot coming off a loss.

7. Bringing a 1-0 Brock Lesnar into the UFC.

8. James Toney.

9. Signing Sean Gannon after he beat Kimbo Slice via exhaustion in an illegal bare-knuckle street fight.

10. Putting Kimbo Slice on a main card after he went 0-1 in the TUF House.

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ICYMI: Brock Lesnar Snaps The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania Win Streak at Wrestlemania XXX


(Your reaction. Enjoy it before it gets taken down.)

By Seth Falvo

I know how some of you don’t like it when we bring up professional wrestling in these parts. Professional wrestling is scripted. Professional wrestlers are on steroids, and not the cool ones that MMA fighters take/the ones MMA fighters used to be allowed to openly take. Professional wrestling is built around silly, drama-based plots, instead of serious things like a former Olympian seeking revenge against a barista who once made him cry so meatheads will respect him. The WWE’s rankings are purely a popularity contest, while the UFC has super scientific rankings that award title shots to only the most deserving fighters. I know all of this.

But can we please talk about how Brock Lesnar snapped The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak at Sunday night’s Wrestlemania XXX at 21 straight Wrestlemania victories? Because holy shit, Brock Lesnar snapped The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak, and I’d really like to talk about it.

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Why Does MMA Care About CM Punk?


(Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

Did you hear? CM Punk might be headed to MMA.

Don’t worry if you haven’t heard until just now, it’s not as if MMA news outlets have been talking about it at all recently.

So, in case you missed it, here’s what happened:

In an interview with MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani, famed straight edge pro wrestler and former WWE champ CM Punk expressed an interest in taking an MMA fight, as well as thoughts about his doubtful future with the WWE. Punk left the WWE not long after this interview.

To MMA fans and pundits, the urge to connect the dots was too great. Punk departed the WWE shortly after he mentioned MMA. Therefore, he MUST have left the WWE to start fighting.

Cue the insanity.

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