(In the edited-for cable version, Lesnar says "I’m gonna drink a [Bud] Light because Bud Light [is the best], and I might even [do something special for] my wife tonight.")

The first stage in Dana White’s plan to destroy Strikeforce and piss on their ashes comes this Saturday at 10 p.m. ET/PT, as Spike will air highlights from UFC 100. The replay card will look like this:

Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir
Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping
Alan Belcher vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama
Stephan Bonnar vs. Mark Coleman
Shannon Gugerty vs. Matt Grice
Jon Jones vs. Jake O’Brien

(Props: solidsnakebite via Reggadi)

And all this time, we thought Fedor Emelianenko was a humble dude, without a bad word to say about anybody. Well, this is what happens when you push him too far. In the above clip, Fedor and his M-1 cronies tell us how they really feel about the UFC’s paper champion. But at least they can keep a sense of humor about it. If only Hitler shared the same attitude…

Fedor Emelianenko, Strikeforce’s Scott Coker, M-1 Global’s Vadim Finkelchtein, and Showtime’s Ken Hershman held a press conference this afternoon to discuss Strikeforce’s plan for Fedor, and refute some of the alleged misinformation that the UFC released about their negotiations with the Russian heavyweight king. You can read recaps here and here. Though Fedor’s next opponent doesn’t appear to be finalized yet, there were still some eyebrow-raising bits:

— Emelianenko called the offer he got from the UFC “miserable,” and nowhere near the six-fight, $30 million reports that circulated on the internet. Finkelchtein said that if those rumored numbers about Fedor’s contract offer were true, they would have signed with the UFC.

— Finkelchtein claimed that the idea of Anderson Silva as the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world is a product of the UFC media machine, and Brock Lesnar is also just a product of the UFC’s hype. He said that Brett Rogers is better than Brock Lesnar.

("Don’t worry, Fedor, there will be other offers. Say, would you like to open for a puppet show in Stockton this weekend?" Photo courtesy of 5oz.)

You gotta be kidding me with this shit. According to Carmichael Dave (via Bloody Elbow), here’s what the UFC was offering Fedor to sign with them:

(Look, he’s working his way up to doing it with a 500-pound man, okay? Baby steps.)

We can now count Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic as a member of the "Brock Haters Club" that already includes Mike Swick, Logan Stanton, and Stephen Colbert. As the UFC heavyweight (currently, but don’t jinx it) said during a recent interview:

(The baddest man in the world, or a living Archie comic book character?)

Here’s a newsflash for you: online sportsbooks favor Fedor Emelianenko to beat Brock Lesnar in a dream match that may never actually happen.  They’re even giving you the opportunity to lay some money down on it now, despite the fact that you don’t know anything about the conditions of this fight or the fighters at the time of the bout, and if it doesn’t happen by October 3, 2010, you get your money back.  Of course, you could just wait until the bout is actually scheduled to take place (if ever) and bet then, but that’s not as fun, is it?  This is like betting on who’s going to win the Super Bowl next year, and choosing between two expansion teams that haven’t been accepted into the NFL yet.

(Will the pain from Shane fall mainly on the Cain? Photos courtesy of Sherdog.)

During an appearance on the Opie and Anthony show, Dana White had this to say about the UFC’s heavyweight title picture: "We’ve got Shane Carwin and Cain Velasquez fighting and probably the winner of that fight will fight Brock Lesnar."

Are Carwin and Velasquez worthy of the honor? Sure, in the sense that they’re both incredibly talented, exciting to watch, and undefeated. But like many #1 contenders matches, timing is everything. From my angle, the winner of Carwin/Velasquez would have to fight the winner of Cro Cop/Dos Santos to truly determine who’s worthy of the next heavyweight title shot. Unfortunately, that would take too long, and the UFC needs to strike the Brock-iron while it’s hot.

In a new interview with Bas Rutten on “Inside MMA” Fedor Emelianenko talks about his toughest fights, his friendship with Josh Barnett, and whether he’ll eventually end up in the UFC, as Dana White has predicted.  Fedor seems like he’s in no hurry to sign on the dotted line, at least at the moment.  He calls the contract terms he’s been offered “unacceptable” and admits that he’d like to fight a big, “serious” guy like Brock Lesnar, though perhaps not enough to make himself an indentured servant to the UFC:

“At the present time, I don’t think so, I don’t think you’ll see me in the UFC, just because the terms, and the manner in which those terms are offered, are not acceptable today.”

Looks like the ball’s in your court, DW.  Do you make the man a better offer, or at least be a little nicer to him?  Or do you just wait him out and figure sooner or later he’ll have to sign unless he wants to drift off into irrelevance, which he may very well be willing to do?

After the jump, Josh Barnett answers some viewer emails and tells us the one thing he knows he can beat Fedor at: drinking contest.  Christ, how can you not love Barnett?     

Photos courtesy of The Las Vegas Sun, UFC.com, Sherdog, and MMA Weekly. Click all for larger images; lots more after the jump.

(Say what you will about his sportsmanship, his howler monkey impression is unassailable.)

Let’s get one thing straight: Brock Lesnar acted like a jerk on Saturday night.  Even by Lesnar standards, which have a certain expectation of jerkishness already built in, he conducted himself poorly.  First he got right in Frank Mir’s face mere seconds after TKO-ing him, just to let us know that he had no intention of being a gracious winner.  When the fans didn’t care for that, he gave them the old double Stockton Heybuddy and implored them to keep booing.  He finished by embarrassing a UFC sponsor and making tentative plans to get on top of his wife, who had to be as flattered as a stripper asked to work the lunchtime shift when she heard that one.

But the question is, with the increased media visibility of this event and this fight, did Lesnar do damage to MMA’s credibility as a real sport in the eyes of mainstream media and casual fans?  The answer is, not unless they’ve never seen pro sports before.

("And I’ll be taking your lunch money every morning, got it geek?")

The UFC paid out $2,190,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for Saturday’s UFC 100 show, with the victorious Brock Lesnar, Georges St. Pierre, and Dan Henderson taking home just over half of the total. Lesnar and St. Pierre also earn a percentage of the pay-per-view revenue, which isn’t reflected in the list below; according to MMA Junkie, Lesnar will make about $3 million from the fight even before the majority of his sponsorship money is tallied. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. The salary figures are below:

– Brock Lesnar: $400,000 (no win bonus)

– Georges St. Pierre: $400,000 (includes $200,000 win bonus)

– Dan Henderson: $350,000 (includes $150,000 win bonus, $100,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)

– Yoshihiro Akiyama: $160,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus, $100,000 Fight of the Night Bonus)

– Michael Bisping: $150,000

– Alan Belcher: $119,000 (includes $100,000 Fight of the Night Bonus)

– Tom Lawlor: $116,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $100,000 Submission of the Night bonus)

– Mark Coleman: $100,000 (includes $50,000 win bonus)

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

In the wake of UFC 100 — and UFC 99, the TUF 9 finale, the Bellator finals, and the last Strikeforce show — we’ve updated the heavyweight, light-heavyweight, middleweight, welterweight, lightweight, and pound-for-pound lists in our Power Rankings section. Some notable changes:

— Due to recent accomplishments, Georges St. Pierre supplants Fedor Emelianenko as the #1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world. Over the last two years, GSP has taken out Josh Koscheck, Matt Hughes, Matt Serra, Jon Fitch, BJ Penn, and Thiago Alves. In the same time frame, Fedor has beaten Matt Lindland (middleweight), Hong Man Choi (freak), Tim Sylvia (fat slob), and Andrei Arlovski (glass chin).

— Urijah Faber and Thiago Alves fall out of the P4P top ten, while Jake Shields and Dan Henderson come in. I’d still give the #11 spot to Faber, with Gegard Mousasi directly behind him.

— Diego Sanchez, Rich Franklin, Hector Lombard, Yoshihiro Akiyama, and Nick Diaz enter the rankings, either for the first time or in new weight-classes. You’re welcome, guys.

Give ‘em a look and let us know what you think.
(BG)

(Lesnar-Mir provides a chilling preview of Lesnar-Sable later on that same night. Photo courtesy of USA Today.)

It’s time to see who’s up and who’s down after an epic weekend, and the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to help.  It’s like the stock market, only dumber.

Brock Lesnar (the fighter) +117
Sure, it was all brute force and not a lot of flashy technique.  And yes, he resembled a schoolyard bully more than a martial artist.  But the fact is Lesnar got the job done, and in convincing fashion.  Now the question is, could he beat someone his own size?

Brock Lesnar (the person) -56
We honestly didn’t think it was possible for Lesnar to hurt his own image so much even in victory.  But disrespecting everyone you can think of, from your opponent to a UFC sponsor, and then ending by suggesting that you might “get on top of” your wife (that really sounds like a satisfying sexual experience for her, BTW) is a good way to go about it.  Press conference apology was a good idea, but way too half-assed to make a dent.

("And another thing: I’m drinking Jose Cuervo tonight because Cazadores won’t pay me, and I’m going to see a matinee showing of Up tomorrow because fuck Tarantino." Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Aside from Mark Coleman rising from the grave to win a decision over Stephan Bonnar, and Tom Lawlor punking CB Dollaway in 55 seconds, there weren’t many major surprises at UFC 100 — so we’re expecting some impressive scores for the final installment of our ongoing pick-off contest. If you kicked ass with your UFC 100 predictions, please share your total in the comments section below. We’ll be verifying the top scores soon and announcing the second winner of the Lyoto Machida "Karate for Mixed Martial Arts" DVD set in a couple days. Click here for a cheat sheet on the results, and thanks to everyone who participated!

Note to ‘PauloThiagoSilva’: We still have a Sityodtong t-shirt waiting for you, so hit us up at feedback@cagepotato.com if you want it.

(Uncontrollable giggling is probably not the reaction Brock had in mind when he got that tattoo. Photo courtesy of MMA Junkie.)

Maybe you’ve been a fan since Gerard Gordeau kicked Teila Tuli’s teeth into the second row. Maybe you’ve been a fan since Griffin and Bonnar threw down at the first TUF finale. Maybe you’re here because "UFC 100" has been a Trending Topic on Twitter all day. Whoever you are, we welcome you.

The menu for tonight: Brock Lesnar seeks Ultimate Validation against the man who humiliated him in his UFC debut. Georges St. Pierre meets the strongest, hungriest, scariest challenger of his title reign. Dan Henderson defends his country’s reputation against the British Invasion. A semi-famous blonde will hold a ring card and blow kisses to the camera. Smart-ass fans may or may not chant "Fedor!" after the final match. Minds will be blown, hearts will be broken, pants will be shat. Are you ready? Are you ready?

Round-by-round updates from the pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. Start stretching, Bruce…

(Angry Brock is angry.)

As mentioned earlier, the editors of CagePotato.com will be taking their beloved "Ben vs. Ben" feature to satellite radio today at 6 p.m. ET on the "SIRIUS Fight Club" show — tune into Sporting News Channel 127, or channel 105 if you’re an XM subscriber.  We’ll run down UFC 100‘s main card, discuss tributes we’d like to see during tomorrow night’s event, and respectfully compare the merits of the Octagon Girls. You don’t want to miss that.

Also, you have about 7 hours left to submit your predictions for the Lyoto Machida "Karate for MMA" DVD pick-off contest. Wouldn’t you like to learn karate in the comfort of your own home? Then get on it, and be sure to have your score counted up by Monday.

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

Things that Brock Lesnar has no patience for:

— Allegations about his steroid use
— Sodomites
— Steve Mazzagatti
— Press conferences to promote his own main event

The UFC heavyweight champion, upset about a cheap chair and having to talk to a group of strangers, tried to exit the building after being introduced at a UFC 100 press conference held yesterday. Luckily, Dana White was there to chill him out. As DW later told Versus.com, "I’m telling you, nobody wants my job. Everybody thinks it looks good; it’s no fun. Try telling a 400-pound guy to sit down."

Note to Brock’s cornermen: You’d better invest in a quality stool, or Lesnar just might forfeit between the first and second rounds.

(The secret to a good striking workout with Frank Mir?  Tell him that the focus mitts called him chubby.)

After Brock Lesnar’s unfortunate UFC debut against Frank Mir you may be wondering whether we’ll see the same full-steam-ahead Lesnar that got himself kneebarred in the first encounter, or whether he’ll look to change it up for the heavyweight championship showdown at UFC 100.  Well, as long as it’s up for debate, Mir would like to offer a suggestion via an email sent out by the UFC.  It goes a little something like this:

"If Brock really comes out and tries to abandon the running at me, heads over heels and just trying to knock, bull rush me over, I honestly think that’s his best approach," said Mir, with a black shine circling his eye. "I would just come after me – take a chance, ’cause to sit there and play the cat and mouse game with me, and jab and slip and move around, I think that’s a slow death for him that he can’t possibly win."

(Props: MMA Mania)

What: UFC 100
When/Where: July 11th at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas.
Why: Because it’s one of the most stacked UFC cards ever. In the above trailer, Joe Rogan calls the event "fucking insane," then implies that Steve Mazzagatti screwed up Brock Lesnar‘s first fight against Frank Mir. For Brock, this fight is all about revenge. Mir thinks that if Big Nog couldn’t last two rounds with him, Brock’s chances aren’t very good.

In the night’s other title fight, Georges St. Pierre battles for his legacy against the biggest, strongest, toughest test of his career — Thiago Alves, who wants to knock out GSP, take his belt, and become "the man." Also, Dan Henderson and Michael Bisping move out of the reality show set and into the Octagon. Hendo wants to beat Bisping up and shut his mouth a little bit; Bisping wants to be responsible for the first KO loss on Dan’s record. Only on pay-per-viewwww…

(Photo courtesy of Maxim.)

“I bet you I’ve taken over 60 steroid tests. In college I had 15 random drug tests in two years. I’ve taken drug tests for the NFL, the WWE, the UFC. I must be pretty good at masking steroids. God gave me this body: Are you jealous of it or what? Give me a break. I got the genetics of — not to get into racism or anything — but I’m built like a black man…It’s all genetics. I wouldn’t say we’re all created equal. That’s just to make the other guys feel good who don’t have what you’ve got.”

So says UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar in a new Maxim magazine profile, discussing the allegations of steroid use that have followed him from the WWE to the Octagon. For an entertaining recap of Brock’s life and career, read the rest of the article here. Or you could just read the two best parts after the jump…

(Props: MMA Worldwide via MMA Fanhouse)

Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos is a passionate, passionate woman. In fact, she’s so passionate that when the interviewer in the above video asks an innocent question about how long it would take her to choke out Gina Carano (skip to the 4:13 mark), Cyborg sinks in a rear-naked and squeezes until her male training partners have to drag her off. The interviewer eventually comes to, and when he sort of figures out what happened ("I was sleeping?"), he’s so terrified that he goes on record saying that Santos will beat Carano on August 15th. This is what Cris Cyborg does to non-biased journalists — she fucking ruins them.

After the jump: If Diego Sanchez thinks Clay Guida is just going to lay on him this Saturday, he’s "terribly confused"; Dana White says Brock Lesnar "could possibly be the best heavyweight in UFC history"; and our friend Joanne of the MMA Girls takes us through the heel hook.

Brock Lesnar is quickly becoming the hunting world’s most terrifying pitchman. First there was his battle-cry for Fusion Ammo, which resulted in the unfortunate death of training partner Chris Tuchscherer. Now there’s the above promo for Wildlife Research Center’s Scent Killer 99%, which vows to smash human odor just as well as Brock smashes heavy bags. We can’t help wondering if Lesnar simply yelling about the product was the most effective way to go. If Scent Killer really works, why not have Brock go through an hour-long workout, spray him down with the stuff when he’s done, then put him in an enclosed room with a blindfolded grizzly bear? I don’t hunt, but I feel I’d pick up a bottle of Scent Killer just out of respect.

After the jump, Brock has a special message for Dana White…

(Props: Card on the UG)

The good thing about hiring a former WWE wrestler like Brock Lesnar to do a commercial is that he has absolutely no problem completely marking out for your product.  Watching this video of Lesnar pumping iron, stalking through the woods with a rifle, and perhaps murdering a training partner who looks suspiciously like the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy’s Chris Tuchscherer, one can’t help but imagine the interplay between Lesnar and the director of this Fusion Ammo commercial.  

‘Okay Brock, that was good.  Let’s try it again and this time, after you cold-clock the guy, look at the camera and really make us feel the ‘Yeeeeaaaah!’ at the end.  I’m telling you, man, it’s all about that ‘Yeah.’  That’s what’s going to sell this goddamn ammo.’

After the jump, Anderson Silva offers the sincerest form of flattery to some of his contemporaries.

(Foot-sweeps vs. hammer fists: Who ya got??)

UFC 120 (November 13, 2010; New York City) will be headlined by a heavyweight title fight between Lyoto Machida and Brock Lesnar, according to a report we just pulled out of our asses. Okay, maybe it’s too early to put a date on that matchup, but light-heavyweight #1 contender Machida is already looking ahead to bigger opponents — like, way bigger. As he tells Tatame:

(Props: CRE)

The best UFC highlight-reel of the week comes from BH, who has compiled some of the greatest Octagon moments of 2008-2009 (and Nick Diaz‘s 2007 PRIDE fight against Takanori Gomi, for some reason) — into this uplifting clip. Using Coldplay to soundtrack an MMA video is a risky move, but it actually works here, in a "Where the Hell Is Matt?" sort of way. From Akihiro Gono‘s legendary entrance at UFC 94 to the various disappointments of Chuck Liddell — it’s definitely worth a look.

After the jump: A Lyoto Machida-specific highlight reel from firelotus09. Just like Lyoto’s fights, the action doesn’t start right away; if you’re impatient, skip to the 1:43 mark and prepare to be Dragon’d.

(All hail the Emperor. Props: KingAtRock)

Sometimes the Power of the Potato Nation is just too strong to be ignored, brother. For those of you who don’t hang out in our forums section, you missed this recent brainstorm from "LargeMidget":

Brock Lesnar is giddy as a school girl after stalking around the woods (okay, more like lumbering around the woods) in pursuit of a whitetail deer.  What can you say, the big man loves to hunt.  His claim that the whitetail deer is one of the most difficult animals to hunt is severely undermined, however, when he misses his first shot at the buck and it is kind enough to prance out in the open to give him a better one.  Ernest Hemingway hunted lions, Brock.  And he was just some sissy writer.

After the jump: some Kung Fu Football, and how they hype a fight in Japan.

(Just when you’re hypnotized by the look of peace and harmony in his eyes, he whips around and lops your head clean off.)

Rising UFC heavyweight prospect Shane Carwin chose a nickname for himself, no thanks to you people.  After hundreds of suggestions from you and from members of his official fan community, Carwin went with “The Engineer” as his official nickname.  It makes sense, since he is actually an engineer, which you would know if you’d read Neal Taflinger’s awesome cover story on him in Fight! Magazine.  But since we thought you people had some decent ideas we wanted to get Carwin’s reaction to some of our favorites, just to see where the Potato Nation went wrong.  Here’s what he had to say.

(Lesnar’s fighting style is truly an inspiration to asshole big brothers everywhere.)

Gather round, Potato Nation.  It’s time to sort through the latest batch of your Ask the Potato questions and see what kind of pointless queries have been bouncing around in your precious little heads.  If you  have a question of your own, by all means, let us know in the forums.  If you already asked a question and we still haven’t answered it, we’re probably not going to.  Ask a better question.

Which fighter as of right now has the most drawing power, and why?? – Rokabee

The difficult part about answering this question is correlation vs. causation.  How do we know it’s any one guy drawing huge numbers, and not the timing or the overall card?  The best we can do is look at the highest performing pay-per-views and sell-out events and try to figure out which fighter consistently shows up on those cards.  When we do it that way over the short term, the answer is Brock Lesnar.  Every pay-per-view he’s on does better than the last one.  Thing is, he’s only been on three so far.  If we were fucking doctors or scientists or something, we’d probably say that was too small a sample size.  But we’re not, and you did say, “as of right now,” so there’s your answer.  His pro wrestling fanbase, the sheer curiosity as to what he might become in MMA, plus his volatility make Lesnar a consistent draw.

Are knees to the body on the ground the single most destructive and under-used strike in MMA? You wouldn’t figure it would take too many well planted knees to just ruin an opponent, but you don’t see many guys in side control try it. Wassup wit dat!!! – Dmonicideals

Watch Frank Mir Talks About His Upcoming Fight with Brock Lesnar on RawVegas.tv

A little less than three months out from his rematch with Brock Lesnar at UFC 100, and Frank Mir is already starting in on the trash talk and mind games in this Raw Vegas interview.  He’s decided to go the self-deprecating route, which means Forrest Griffin has a royalty check coming.  Mir also isn’t afraid to toss a few little burns in there just for the hell of it, even commenting at one point on the "penis" tattooed on Lesnar’s chest.  You can thank Dave Farra for bringing that up.  Hey, we were all thinking it.

Aside from the Lesnar talk, Mir offers the best response yet to the inevitable Fedor questions.  Instead of doubting his credentials and just refusing to talk about the guy, Mir says it’s "not fair" that other heavyweights have gotten a chance to feel how hard Fedor hits and he might never get that opportunity.  You have to admit he has a point.  It’s about time somebody called Fedor out on his discriminatory punching practices.