ATTENTION PAUL BUENTELLO: Please do this at Bellator 48. PLEASE.
“The only great failure in life is the failure to try.” -Some old wise man, probably with a large beard
Fail is sort of like porn. You can’t really define it properly, but you know it when you see it. And brother, we’ve seen some fail watching our favorite sport. It can happen anytime, from walking out to the ring, to celebrating your victory (see above), and anytime between. We here at CagePotato hold MMA and fighters in our highest regard … but we still like to point and laugh every once in a while. Allow us to present to you our first (in what we assume will be many) installment of MMA Fails.
Add UFC lightweight Clay Guida to the list of MMA fighters who have acted in television commercials. With the guest spot above he did in the latest Safe Auto Ad, “The Carpenter” joins the ranks of the likes of Kurt Pellegrino, Jon Jones, Georges St-Pierre, Bob Sapp, Wanderlei Silva, Mirko Cro Cop and Mark Coleman.
Check out some of our other amesomely cheesy favorites after the jump.
If you missed Keyboard Warriors Monday, hey thanks. Nice to know someone actually appreciates all I do to entertain you jerkfaces. For the rest of you: hey guess what i did?
Yup, prepare yourselves for KBW #3! In the aftermath of the weekend’s Strikeforce action, Dana takes the time to address the heavyweights, evaluate their performances, and fill them in on his short terms plans. And his long term plans. Say what you will, but Big Daddy White dreams big, son.
If you are interested in 100% made up conversations between characters that are mostly fabrications, come on in and enjoy. Feel free to comment your little hands off. If you don’t like comedy … well, i’ve got nothing for you.
Why do you keep coming here again?
As always, thanks to Christopher and those jokers at WithLeather.
The public service announcement has been part of American culture for decades. Popularized by the perpetually foxy Nancy Reagan in the ’80s, the PSA has taught us everything from not smoking crack to not dumping a pot of boiling oil on your face, and a whole bunch of other not’s. It has also served as a way to punish celebrities and athletes who did something incredibly stupid and got caught.
MMA fighters eventually began to get roped into this as the popularity of the sport rose; some are good, while others should be avoided as much as strangers in pick-up trucks who offer to let you see their puppy. That is why today I present to you the top eight public service announcements featuring MMA fighters. Why? Because knowing is half the battle…
8. Randy Couture VS Crystal Meth
Just say no to drugs! Randy Couture enters the battle against Methamphetamines in this PSA, because when you think crystal meth, think Randy Couture. For a video that is meant to appear sad and claustrophobic, it comes off like an amateur snuff film and loses its impact with the soft-spoken UFC veteran.
Couture has done plenty of these ads, so don’t be surprised if he pops back up on this list. Am I saying he will for sure? No, but if I did, would you stop loving me? I can’t handle any more rejection…oh man, sinking back into that pit of despair. I need some meth. But if I do that, then Randy won’t love me either. Argh, what a vicious cycle! But seriously kids, don’t do drugs. If you feel yourself losing power to your addiction, go punch a hobo instead. It’s much more fulfilling, but don’t take my word for it.
Oh, and I lied. Randy does not appear again on this list. That was the crystal meth talking.
To those in the know, however, Einemo is a tough challenge, no matter how long he’s been away from MMA.
Einemo’s only MMA loss came by unanimous decision to Fabricio Werdum at PRIDE 31. For most, not being submitted by the decorated Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt would be an accomplishment in itself considering he tapped out Alistair Overeem and Aleksander Emelianenko just a few months later. But Einemo was an ADCC champ who won the revered submission grappling tournament in 2003, (and would later lose to Roger Gracie on points in 2009 in the same tournament) so it was unlikely he’d be submitted, even by Werdum.
Fast forward five years and the 35-year-old Norwegian heavyweight, who has remained busy training with his new Team Golden Glory teammates in Holland and competing in grappling tournaments since stepping away from MMA to focus on his family, is stepping back in the cage to take on UFC newcomer Dave Herman, who replaced Shane Carwin in the match (who stepped in to face Junior dos Santos in the main event when Brock Lesnar was forced off the card due to a diverticulitis flare-up) this weekend in Vancouver at UFC 131 this weekend. Most think that ring rust and Herman’s proven stand-up may play a factor in the bout, but considering Einemo is a main training partner of Strikeforce and K-1 champion Alistair Overeem and according to his coaches has had “many wars in sparring” with “The Reem,” it seems doubtful that the 6′ 6″ fighter (Herman is no slouch himself at 6′ 5″) will be unprepared in any areas of the fight.
After the jump: Rounds two and three of Einemo’s fight with Werdum and his ADCC match with Roger Gracie.
During the illustrious eighteen-year history of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, we’ve witnessed countless brutal beatings, killer knockouts, and spectacular submissions. Simply put, we’ve witnessed a ton of holy $&*% moments!
I’m sure you have your favorites that you’ll share with your grandkids when you’re sitting in the old man’s chair. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself which moments in the past two decades were the biggest on a large scale? Well I did and I went to the largest scale imaginable: the almighty Google and here’s what I found. Remember, Google doesn’t have emotional or monetary interest at stake here. These moments are the ones that have generated the most web traffic via searches, not which ones impacted the sport the most.
Why it’s ranked: Jake Shields left Strikeforce as champion so essentially casual fans and mainstream media alike viewed this as the first major inter-promotional, champion vs. champion fight. Georges St. Pierre, reigning UFC Welterweight champion and winner of nine straight came out on top of Shields who was riding a fifteen-fight win streak over the past five years.
The UFC went all in on this one hyping this event with the normal Countdown shows in addition to a pretty sweet commercial, the Primetime series, and a flyer in my mailbox reminding me to order the PPV. It was a huge moment in both men’s career primarily because it was the first tough competition either had faced in quite some time up to that point. The underlying reason this mattered so much is that we all wanted to see the GSP vs. Silva super fight.
If the fact that he has broken training partner’s facial bones with jabs, torn through expensive focus mitts with combinations and sent trainers running for icepacks after holding pads for him are any indication of Shane Carwin’s punching power, getting hit in the face by “The Engineer” might not be something Junior dos Santos should try when he heads to Vancouver next week. We’d recommend he try something less harmful to his health like a butter tart or a Moosehead lager or pale ale.
Brock Lesnar has a gut feeling. It’s a bad feeling.
Brock Lesnar is reportedly convalescing from his latest dust up with diverticulitis, after undergoing scheduled surgery Friday to deal with the chronic and debilitating intestinal disorder. According to the Baldfather, Lesnar had “about twelve inches” of his colon removed, and there’s perhaps a bit of irony that Mr “Write That Down In Your Little Notebook” is uncomfortable in the bunghole region. “He said he’s a little sore, but the operation was a huge success,” says Dana. Take it with a grain of salt, but Lesnar and the UFC are optimistic for a to return to the cage in early 2012.
Just in case you missed the important part in there, Brock Lesnar just lost about a foot of his large intestine. Also, how has no one mocked up the Trash Talking Kids “Eat Some Broccoli Lesnar” yet?
Update: The complete audio from this interview is now at the end of the post.
BRIAN D’SOUZA: [When you were sick], maybe you thought a lot about your family, about what you’ve achieved in life…any regrets? BROCK LESNAR: No, you know, I thought, if this thing is going to take advantage of me, I wanted to figure out what was wrong with me so I could beat it. When you’re laying there, after the fact, you start thinking about your family, and your friends. It wasn’t until afterwards when you’re thinking ‘Man — I really could have died from this stuff,’ when the dust settles, and you start thinking about it.
And on the other side of things, on the business side, there’s a lot invested in you, or a lot of value to you from the UFC. What was their attitude back then and recently, right now [when you pulled out of the Junior dos Santos fight]?
The first thing that came out of Dana White’s mouth was concern for my health. He said, “Don’t even worry about the fight. Let’s get your health taken care of.” That goes to show a lot about the company, and about the person that Dana White is.
Josh Barnett once told me ‘We have a pro wrestling system for MMA.’ But I kind of believe it’s a star system; I believe this based on the estimated pay-per-view buys which suggest — which we both know — you’re the number one draw in the organization by far. Going into the millions of pay-per-view buys where Georges St-Pierre can maybe do 800,000 or 900,000. How do you feel about being the number one guy?
Well, I don’t feel any different other than I’m glad to be in that spot, that opportunity; it’s a lucrative spot to be in, and at the end of the day, I hope that I can get back in the Octagon to keep trying to pursue those numbers.