Well, it looks like Brock Lesnar has recovered from his latest diverticulitis flare-up. The former WWE and UFC heavyweight champion’s sponsor Federal Premium Ammo released the video above of Lesnar out killing vicious prairie dogs with high-powered rifles while laughing like a maniac and chewing on Jack’s Links jerky. So much for his illness making him a kinder, gentler Brock who eats healthier.
While suffering through The Change-Up this weekend, I started thinking about the hypothetical situation of MMA fighters switching bodies. Obviously, one fighter would get the short end of the stick, like in all relationships, but other than that, it’s all good news from there. Imagine the man with a warrior spirit and broken body upgrading for a newer model. Imagine the heavy-duty gas-guzzler being replaced by a tiny, eco-friendly, electric car. Imagine experience and youth joining forces to reign terror on anything that steps in its way. So who most deserves a cinematic body-swap? Read on and find out…
BJ Penn and Brock Lesnar
Advantage: Baby Jay
For years, Penn has been criticized for his lack of self-discipline and willingness to stay in shape. Switching bodies would solve that problem and create what might be the best heavyweight in UFC history. A Nova Uniao Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt with explosive striking and a granite chin, Penn has everything that Lesnar wishes he had. The Prodigy would be a wrecking ball at heavyweight if he had Brock’s body — as long as the viking took the diverticulitis thing with him. If he had to keep the illness during the switch, then I guess we could all agree that we’d like to see Josh Koscheck trade bodies with Brock.
• Jon Jones made his UFC debut on the card, defeating fellow undefeated fighter Andre Gusmao by unanimous decision. Jones would go on to win five of his next six fights in dominating fashion against some of the promotion’s best fighters including Vladimir Matyushenko, Brandon Vera and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at UFC 128 to win the UFC light heavyweight strap in a little more than two-and-a-half years since he first competed in the Octagon. Analysts predict that he will go down as one of the sport’s best fighters. Time will tell.
Former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar was born in Webster, South Dakota on this day in 1977.
Thanks to an undefeated 33-0 record he compiled in his final year of high school and an upset victory over top-seeded University of Minnesota heavyweight Brent Boeschans his division in the North Dakota State University’s Bison Open Tournament in 1997 while attending Bismarck Junior College, Lesnar was granted a full scholarship by Boeschans Alma Mater the following year after Bismarck dropped its wrestling program. Brock, who had amassed a 56-3 record in his two years at Bismarck wasted no time in making a name for himself at U of M by winning the Big 10 tournament and effectively ending Iowa’s 25-year streak as tournament champion.
ATTENTION PAUL BUENTELLO: Please do this at Bellator 48. PLEASE.
“The only great failure in life is the failure to try.” -Some old wise man, probably with a large beard
Fail is sort of like porn. You can’t really define it properly, but you know it when you see it. And brother, we’ve seen some fail watching our favorite sport. It can happen anytime, from walking out to the ring, to celebrating your victory (see above), and anytime between. We here at CagePotato hold MMA and fighters in our highest regard … but we still like to point and laugh every once in a while. Allow us to present to you our first (in what we assume will be many) installment of MMA Fails.
Add UFC lightweight Clay Guida to the list of MMA fighters who have acted in television commercials. With the guest spot above he did in the latest Safe Auto Ad, “The Carpenter” joins the ranks of the likes of Kurt Pellegrino, Jon Jones, Georges St-Pierre, Bob Sapp, Wanderlei Silva, Mirko Cro Cop and Mark Coleman.
Check out some of our other amesomely cheesy favorites after the jump.
If you missed Keyboard Warriors Monday, hey thanks. Nice to know someone actually appreciates all I do to entertain you jerkfaces. For the rest of you: hey guess what i did?
Yup, prepare yourselves for KBW #3! In the aftermath of the weekend’s Strikeforce action, Dana takes the time to address the heavyweights, evaluate their performances, and fill them in on his short terms plans. And his long term plans. Say what you will, but Big Daddy White dreams big, son.
If you are interested in 100% made up conversations between characters that are mostly fabrications, come on in and enjoy. Feel free to comment your little hands off. If you don’t like comedy … well, i’ve got nothing for you.
Why do you keep coming here again?
As always, thanks to Christopher and those jokers at WithLeather.
The public service announcement has been part of American culture for decades. Popularized by the perpetually foxy Nancy Reagan in the ’80s, the PSA has taught us everything from not smoking crack to not dumping a pot of boiling oil on your face, and a whole bunch of other not’s. It has also served as a way to punish celebrities and athletes who did something incredibly stupid and got caught.
MMA fighters eventually began to get roped into this as the popularity of the sport rose; some are good, while others should be avoided as much as strangers in pick-up trucks who offer to let you see their puppy. That is why today I present to you the top eight public service announcements featuring MMA fighters. Why? Because knowing is half the battle…
8. Randy Couture VS Crystal Meth
Just say no to drugs! Randy Couture enters the battle against Methamphetamines in this PSA, because when you think crystal meth, think Randy Couture. For a video that is meant to appear sad and claustrophobic, it comes off like an amateur snuff film and loses its impact with the soft-spoken UFC veteran.
Couture has done plenty of these ads, so don’t be surprised if he pops back up on this list. Am I saying he will for sure? No, but if I did, would you stop loving me? I can’t handle any more rejection…oh man, sinking back into that pit of despair. I need some meth. But if I do that, then Randy won’t love me either. Argh, what a vicious cycle! But seriously kids, don’t do drugs. If you feel yourself losing power to your addiction, go punch a hobo instead. It’s much more fulfilling, but don’t take my word for it.
Oh, and I lied. Randy does not appear again on this list. That was the crystal meth talking.
To those in the know, however, Einemo is a tough challenge, no matter how long he’s been away from MMA.
Einemo’s only MMA loss came by unanimous decision to Fabricio Werdum at PRIDE 31. For most, not being submitted by the decorated Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt would be an accomplishment in itself considering he tapped out Alistair Overeem and Aleksander Emelianenko just a few months later. But Einemo was an ADCC champ who won the revered submission grappling tournament in 2003, (and would later lose to Roger Gracie on points in 2009 in the same tournament) so it was unlikely he’d be submitted, even by Werdum.
Fast forward five years and the 35-year-old Norwegian heavyweight, who has remained busy training with his new Team Golden Glory teammates in Holland and competing in grappling tournaments since stepping away from MMA to focus on his family, is stepping back in the cage to take on UFC newcomer Dave Herman, who replaced Shane Carwin in the match (who stepped in to face Junior dos Santos in the main event when Brock Lesnar was forced off the card due to a diverticulitis flare-up) this weekend in Vancouver at UFC 131 this weekend. Most think that ring rust and Herman’s proven stand-up may play a factor in the bout, but considering Einemo is a main training partner of Strikeforce and K-1 champion Alistair Overeem and according to his coaches has had “many wars in sparring” with “The Reem,” it seems doubtful that the 6′ 6″ fighter (Herman is no slouch himself at 6′ 5″) will be unprepared in any areas of the fight.
After the jump: Rounds two and three of Einemo’s fight with Werdum and his ADCC match with Roger Gracie.