After the jump, you’ll find a picture of Veteran Voice of the Octagon™ Bruce Buffer, making it clear where he stands in the Arianny vs. Brittney debate. Submit a clever photo-caption to the comments section of this post by Sunday night at midnight PT. We’ll select one winner on Monday, who will receive a Combat Line shirt of his/her choice. Any questions, let us know in the comments section. Good luck.
fulltimekilla: Belfort via TKO at 3:12 of Round 1 (40 seconds away from actual time of stoppage) kuckleup101.2: Belfort def. Rockhold via TKO, 3:31 of round 1 (59 seconds away from actual time of stoppage)
If your name has been called, please send your real names and mailing addresses to email@example.com, and we’ll send out your autographed copies of Bruce Buffer’s new book right away. As for the rest of you, feel free to actually buy a copy of the book right here.
And hey, we also have some other contest business to discuss. Last week, we promised a t-shirt to the person who could come up with the best fake rule for Nick Diaz’s new MMA promotion. The competition was fast and furious, and after sifting through the entries, we’ve decided to hand out CagePotato t-shirts to three winners. They are…
From prologue to epilogue, It’s Time! My 360° View of the UFC is a highly entertaining story of BSC: Balls, Skill, and Confidence. From his early childhood in Pennsylvania to his global fame as “The Veteran Voice of the Octagon,” Bruce Buffer‘s success is a direct result of those three things. Without that braggadocious trifecta, I can’t imagine we’d enjoy the same high-octane fighter introductions we do now. Between the hardback covers, you’re treated to an inside look at how Buffer was first introduced to the UFC, what happened when he realized he had a long, lost half-brother who turned out to be famed boxing announcer Michael Buffer, and the brawls that happened outside of the Octagon.
Most fight fans will pick up a copy of this book for one of two reasons, either because they’re a huge Bruce Buffer fan, or they have a particular fondness for any and all backstage dirt and behind-the-scenes access they can get, such as the time Bruce threatened to “beat the living hell” out of a fan. (That’s on page 183, by the way.) If you happen to fit into both categories, boy are you in luck. Buffer’s storytelling style, combined with the fact that you can’t help but read every word in his famous voice, is reminiscent of throwing back a few cold ones with an old friend as you catch up on the highlights of life since you last saw one another.
Of the two dozen chapters, five are dedicated to fighters, one to UFC President Dana White, and one to all the girls he’s loved before. The rest of the autobiography covers his family, early career, what it’s like to be the VVotO™ in general. While I can appreciate Buffer’s desire to communicate his deep love for his family and close friends, I was more excited to hear about the infamous brawl involving Tito Ortiz and Lee Murray and what it was like to find kickboxer Pat Smith “on his knees, tearing up and making sounds like a wounded banshee” after being cold-cocked upon exiting the elevator by one of Tank Abbott’s goons cornermen.
(Sadly, this was the only interesting moment of the Lawlor vs. Carmont fight. Props: ybrekyert via Reddit MMA)
Even the suavest sons-of-bitches occasionally make mistakes. UFC cage-announcer Bruce Buffer — the sharply-dressed Trigg-abusingcard-shark who has long showcased his golden throat and trademarked catchphrases as the “Veteran Voice of the Octagon” — made quite a verbal boner during the main card of UFC 154 on Saturday. Honestly, it’s not his fault. When your product slogan includes the phrase “nut snack,” you’re setting yourself up for unfortunate accidents.
(Perhaps the greatest “It’s time!” in UFC history. Thank you, Brazil.)
I know it’s a pretty obvious fact to state, but I would be remiss if I did not tell you that Bruce Buffer is the greatest ring announcer to ever walk the face of this or any other planet, bar none. The man’s passion for his job is unmatched by his counterparts (sorry, Jimmy Lennon Jr., but you gotta step your shit up!), and his in-ring enthusiasm harnesses enough power and masculinity to immaculately conceive with over 90 percent of his audience, male or female, on any given night. Seriously, Buffer has the Howard Sternian ability to bring a woman to full climax using only the sound of his voice and a speaker with the bass cranked up, except when he does it, the woman throws herself into a volcano afterward. And as far as Buffer’s ocular presence goes; have you even seen the Buffer two-step? How about the Buffer 360? The man simply dominates in every medium he is presented with.
However, in the past couple UFC events, the Buffernation has noticed a infinitesimal, yet present crack in Bruce’s armor. Mainly, his decision to start saying “It’s fight time!” rather than his traditional “It’s time!” when introducing the main event. The audiences in attendance simply could not wrap their minds around this concept, and their reactions varied from this to this. Riots almost immediately broke out in downtown L.A after the world was greeted by this abomination at UFC on FOX 4, and many of us went as far as to claim that it was the exact moment the UFC reached its tipping point.
Thankfully, Lord Bruce has realized his mistake, which he attributed to “going through some marketing aspects” in a recent interview, and claims that we can all expect the classic “It’s time!” at the next UFC event. So rest assured, Potatoites, all is once again Yub Nub in the land of mixed martial arts.
After the jump: A behind-the-scenes look at the making of the Buffer 360, for nostalgia’s sake, and a tribute to the man behind it all.
(Hey, if it can happen to Joe Lauzon, it can happen to anyone, right?)
Featuring special appearances by Arianny Celeste and Bruce Buffer, the most recent “Web Redemption” on Tuesday’s episode of Tosh.0was probably the most star studded redemption to date. That’s not saying much for a show whose “celebrity” guest list has included the Cobra Kai Sensei, Carrot Top, and whoever David Archuleta is, but still, you get what we’re saying.
Starring Brandon “Bitch Boy” Han a.k.a the wuss who got choked out by a girl, and Courtnie Korpela a.k.a the woman who will haunt his dreams forever, this web rematch carried the fate of the male sex on its shoulders. With Ronda Rousey already making bold claims that she could beat up most of the male fighters in her weight division, we needed to suppress this notion of “equality in the cage” once and for all.
Join us after the jump to see how the rematch played out.
Along with the classic Anchorman scene, the video combines clips from Buffer’s introductions with a recent appearance by Ferrell at a New Orleans Hornets/Chicago Bulls game in which he introduced the starting lineup. As with many Will Ferrell movies, the clip starts off strong before kinda pitter-pattering its way to the end. Enjoy, or don’t. It’s Friday, so wacky clips are kind of our thing today.
Join us after the jump for another mashup that will make you go into full montage mode.