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Tag: Bud Light

Satire Sunday: Spuds McKenzie Guilty of Sexual Harassment, Sentenced to Nine Months Probation

DISCLAIMER: This feature is purely a satirical piece- you know, like the title explicitly states. Any references to real people and events are purely for comedic effect. Nothing you are about to read is actual news, and no quotes used in this article are authentic quotes. In short, don’t take anything you are about to read as a real news story.

Anheuser-Busch respects women, and would never support sexism in any way.

The family-friendly Anheuser-Busch corporation has just been turned upside down. Former Bud Light mascot Spuds MacKenzie has been found guilty in the state of Nevada of sexually harassing multiple women while employed by Anheuser-Busch. Furthermore, Anheuser-Busch is being investigated for its role in MacKenzie’s crimes, as victims say that the harassment was not only encouraged by fellow employees, but that the victims were vehemently discouraged from filing complaints while they were employed by the company.

The charges against MacKenzie read like the sex-depraved fantasies of a thirteen year old boy. Among them include the complaints of Carol Grey, who played the role of “Hot Blond Chick” in many Bud Light commercials. Grey revealed that MacKenzie would repeatedly order her to smack him on the ass during commercial shoots, as well as force her to publically praise MacKenzie’s sexual conquests on numerous occasions.

Shocking videos of the harassment available after the jump.

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Bud Light Issues a Warning to the UFC About the Behavior of Their Fighters


(“Fine. I’m going to *respectfully* get on top of my wife, okay?”)

If there’s one thing the UFC has taught us lately, it’s that rape jokes aren’t funny, especially when delivered by people with bad taste and zero comedic ability. So it was only a matter of time before the promotion’s major sponsors started getting uncomfortable. In light of new criticism from watchdog group Alcohol Justice, Anheuser-Busch (Bud Light’s parent company) released a statement warning the UFC to crack down on their employees’ insensitivity. From Advertising Age (via MMAMania):

We’ve communicated to the UFC our displeasure with certain remarks made by some of its fighters, and they have promised to address this. If the incidents continue, we will act,” the brewer said in a statement. A-B, which did not elaborate on potential actions, also stated that it “embraces diversity and does not condone insensitive and derogatory comments rooted in ethnicity, race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, etc.”

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So Long, Mickey’s Big Mouth

MML
(Pour one out…)

It’s kind of sad that it’s taken this long for the UFC to get a non-malt-liquor beer sponsor. But after years spent presenting Rock Paper Scissors tournaments, the Phoenix Suns’ official blog, the New Jersey State Barbecue Championship, and countless games of Beirut, Bud Light has decided that the UFC is finally respectable enough to bear its name. From today’s press release on UFC.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio (Feb. 28, 2008) – This spring, millions of Ultimate Fighting Championship® fans will see a new heavyweight take the center of the Octagon™. Today Anheuser-Busch and UFC® announced that Bud Light, the world’s best-selling beer, will become the new exclusive beer sponsor for the UFC.

Bud Light’s three-year deal with Zuffa, LLC, owner of the UFC brand, makes the American-style light lager with superior drinkability the exclusive beer sponsor of the UFC – the world’s premier mixed martial arts organization…

“Landing Anheuser-Busch and Bud Light is huge for us, our fighters and especially our fans,” said Dana White, UFC president. “We’ve got the number one selling beer in the world and one of the top marketers in all of sports as our sponsor. If our TV ratings, pay-per-view buys and venue sell-outs weren’t enough, this definitely cements UFC as a major player in sports business.”

So, starting with UFC 84 in May, the Bud Light logo will be in the center of the Octagon and on the vertical bumpers, and will be featured during press conferences and weigh-ins. It will also be the presenting sponsor for two UFC pay-per-view events per year. And beginning June 1, Bud Light will also be the official beer sponsor of World Extreme Cagefighting events on VERSUS.

Update: An source who wishes to remain anonymous has revealed to CagePotato that EliteXC has just locked down Coca-Cola to sponsor its live events on CBS, and that an enraged Dana White has killed two people in his office. We’ll keep you posted on this shocking turn of events…

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