(If you’ve never had the pleasure of belonging to a McDojo yourself, this is recommended viewing. Props: EnterTheDojoShow)

By Brian J. D’Souza

A revolution is something that changes the system in a radical way. It’s an advancement that brings new ideas to the forefront. In many ways, this was what UFC 1 was. Organized by Rorian Gracie, Art Davie, and Bob Meyrowitz of Semaphore Entertainment Group, martial artists from a variety of styles were called upon to prove the superiority of their art by entering an eight-man elimination tournament at a November 12, 1993, event hosted in Denver, Colorado.

Many MMA fans know about the legend of Royce Gracie defeating professional boxer Art Jimmerson, Pancrase fighter Ken Shamrock and Savate champion Gerard Gordeau in one night to be crowned the first ever UFC tournament champion. But now, nearly 20 years after that historic event occurred, how much “truth” about how to effectively train and prepare for fights has trickled down to martial artists across the globe?

Sure, there are growing numbers of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu schools and a resurgence of interest in Muay Thai or other stand-up styles suited for MMA across North America. But the same old “McDojo” styles consisting of impractical or untested methods are just as prevalent today as they were decades ago before the inception of the UFC.

I learned this for myself a couple of years ago when I was working part-time at a downtown gym. Because it was free, I checked out the “kickboxing” class that was offered. I knew the basics of boxing, and had done some Muay Thai before, so I figured I’d at least get a good workout. I didn’t bank on discovering that the McDojo mentality was still alive, even well into the heyday of the UFC’s dominance in Canada.

The class itself was basic Taekwondo repackaged as kickboxing. Some unorthodox TKD kicks can be effective, as various MMA fighters have demonstrated over the years. That still doesn’t compensate for a lack of footwork, defensive drills, or other deficiencies inherent in this variation of kickboxing.

The stone in my shoe that started with irritation and eventually became unbearable over time wasn’t the lack of useful techniques taught, but the tall tales that the instructor told. In one of his stories, a disrespectful jiu-jitsu practitioner (identified by his T-shirt) stepped to him at a bar; he responded by thumbing the BJJ guy in the eye, bragging to his students “Sometimes you have to fight dirty.” In another story, one of the instructor’s students — who knew nothing whatsoever about wrestling or grappling — had gone to a BJJ school, and “did well.” The student had also “almost KO’ed” another student.

Right.

(Wandy’s Trollshades increase his AprilFoolpower by a magnitude of eleventy bazillian. / Photo via Wandy’s FB fan page)

At some point, April Fool’s Day became less about playing elaborate pranks to humiliate your loved ones, and more about just lying to people all day. Nobody puts in the effort anymore. Announcing that your girlfriend/wife is pregnant on Facebook? Yeah, that’s not funny at all. (Side note: @Karmaatemycat gets a pass for doing this yesterday, because the idea of Jefferey Watts as a father is so terrifying that it actually made me hold my face in my hands for about 20 seconds.)

The MMA fighter equivalent of announcing a fake pregnancy is announcing a fake fight or retirement. Tim Kennedy did it. John Alessio did it. Louis Gaudinot did it. The idea is, these statements are believable enough to be true. But in the grand scheme of things, does anybody really give a fuck if John Alessio is coming in to replace Ryan Couture on Saturday? I hate to rag on a guy who we otherwise have so much respect for, but I’m just saying, it’s not a joke, it’s a lie, and making up lies about yourself to trick people is both uncreative and kind of egotistical. As our bro Vince puts it, “Getting me to believe something plausible but untrue is not a ‘prank.’ If that’s a prank, then man have I pranked some women and prospective employers, hoo boy.”

If you make your living on Internet like we do, April Fool’s Day has easily become the worst day of the year. (A close second? April 15th, aka, the Day of Great Reckoning.) Everybody’s a yukster, and you can’t believe a word you read, even if its true. So when Wanderlei Silva announced that the UFC approached him to replace Alexander Gustafsson against Gegard Mousasi on short notice for UFC on FUEL 9, we didn’t know what to think. I mean, we first dismissed it as bullshit — partially on the advice of Dana White himself — but Silva didn’t break character. He kept his story going. And going.

The biggest difference between Wanderlei’s possibly-fake fight announcement and all the others, is that Wandy actually reached out to media. He confirmed his story with MMAWeekly’s Ken Pishna. Then, he gave a rather entertaining interview to Tatame where he had this to say:

By George Shunick

Alistair Overeem has plenty of haters out there. Haters saying stuff like “He’s a cheat,” or “He uses steroids,” or “All of his recent accomplishments are tainted because his entire heavyweight career is a byproduct of unnatural chemical enhancements.” Also “Leave the horses alone!”, though that’s just PETA, and they hate on everyone so they don’t really count. Well, Alistair Overeem has something to tell all the haters (except PETA) out there: he’s clean.

That’s right, let’s cease all this hurtful speculation; Alistair Overeem is without a doubt, 100% clean. Never did steroids, never will do them. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know what they’re talking about. That time he tested positive for his then-upcoming fight with Junior Dos Santos with a 14:1 testosterone-to-epitestosterone ratio? That was the fault of a completely reliable and not at all sketchy doctor who injected testosterone into Overeem — without his knowledge! — which is totally standard for anti-inflammatory injections. I don’t see how anyone would need a more satisfying explanation than that.

Italian Wikipedia does not have the same quality standards as its English counterpart.

Before we go any further, the answer is yes. That image is a real screenshot of Bob Sapp’s MMA record on both the English version of Wikipedia and its Italian counterpart, taken around 2:30 (CT) this afternoon. Those who follow MMA already know that Bob Sapp is nothing more than a joke and a disgrace, and with Wikipedia cracking down on UFC events that aren’t important enough to deserve their own pages, it should come as little surprise that yet another effortless loss from Bob Sapp has yet to be added to his fight record.

Friday night, Bob Sapp set out to mock our sport professional sports once again in Kazakhstan against Tölegen Akylbekov. Knowing that Bob Sapp was going to put up as much of a fight as The Brooklyn Brawler, Akylbekov decided that he was going to attempt to win The Bob Sapp Challenge™. For those uninitiated, the rules are simple: Rather than defeating Bob Sapp as quickly as possible, one must force Bob Sapp to actually put up something resembling a fight for as long as possible. Sounds easy enough…until you realize you’re attempting to make a guy who has tapped out to a double-leg takedown actually put up a fight.

Video after the jump

(Nope. Not even gonna go there. / Photo via Zimbio.)

After all the unexpected drama on Tuesday, I was really hoping we could put “caption-gate” behind us. Oh, if only. Following up their first report on the UFC’s demand for retraction, USA Today did a second piece with UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta which further explains why the promotion was so furious with this website. Here are some choice quotes from Fertitta:

“These fighters are already paranoid enough. Dana had to talk to Rashad on the phone for 30 minutes to calm him down, to tell him, ‘Are you crazy? There’s no way I would ever bet on a fight or bet against you.’…You’ve got to understand, Rashad’s entire team — his entire camp — was in his ear telling him they read this online and that Dana bet half a million dollars against him.”

“[CagePotato] flatout lied. They just made up a story and lied. Somebody who doesn’t know what our policies are and what we do, they could look at it in a very negative light…These guys go out and do this reckless reporting — it’s not even reporting — make these reckless statements and they end up causing us fallout and having to deal with issues. Why should we even have to deal with this stuff? They made this up and lied and put it online.”

“It didn’t read like a joke at all. If you look at the article, when you first read that, it sounds like that they were in a room with Dana, talking to him, and he says, ‘Oh,’ and he kind of made a mistake and said something, and said ‘Don’t print that.’…if I read an article like that, I would seriously believe that that actually happened and that went down.”

(Props: Heavy.com)

Despite recent rumors that Georges St. Pierre and Nick Diaz are slated to face off at UFC 140 — and were the most likely candidates to coach the next season of The Ultimate Fighter — UFC president Dana White wants to make it clear that it ain’t happening. As he tells travel-size interviewer Megan Olivi in a new interview (quotes via FightOpinion):

“That fight is not a done deal and I guarantee you that those two will not be coaches, not even close. All this stuff that’s out there about that fight and the meeting that we had here is all bullshit.”

Asked if GSP vs. Diaz would be happening at the UFC’s return to Montreal in December, DW responded with a simple “no.” Of course, this wouldn’t be the first time that the UFC has denied a report just so they could announce it themselves later — but at the very least, relying on Nick Diaz to coach TUF for an entire season seems like way too much to ask, when he can’t even get through an eight-minute interview without threatening to slap somebody.

(Remember to include "proficient in jabbing" on your resume. / Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

UFC middleweight contender Gerald Harris confirmed last night that he has been released by the UFC following his decision loss to Maiquel Falcao at UFC 123. Yes, Gerald Harris, the SportsCenter highlight-maker and all-around nice guy, who had come into the fight with a 3-0 Octagon record and two Knockout of the Night bonuses under his belt. Even considering how lackluster his fight last weekend turned out, this has to be the most unexpected UFC firing in recent memory. Is the UFC so dead-set on trimming their roster with the influx of WEC talent that they’ll bounce a rising star for one bad showing? Maybe. But get this…

[Lightweights] Frankie Edgar def. Spencer Fisher via unanimous decision

[Middleweights] Ed Herman def. Joe Doerksen via K.O. (punch, third round)

[Welterweights] Karo Parisyan def. Ryo Chonan via unanimous decision

[Light heavyweights] Thiago Silva def. Houston Alexander via TKO (punches, first round)

[Light heavyweights, main event] Rashad Evans def. Michael Bisping via split decision

Full report to come tomorrow, but here’s a sneak preview: This was the dullest and most disappointing UFC event I’ve ever seen. And that’s not just sour grapes because my prediction* turned out to be inaccurate. Name me one UFC card in the AF era that was worse than this one.

* If my dream wasn’t a foretelling, what do you think it meant? (There’s no “MMA” entry in my dream dictionary.) I’m open to all (most) suggestions.