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Tag: CagePotato ban

CagePotato Ban: Saying You Don’t Care If Your Opponents Are Using PEDs


(Bagautinov’s doping wasn’t enough to earn him a victory — but that’s no reason to let him off the hook. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Now that random drug testing is nailing MMA fighters on a regular basis, the truth is inescapable: PEDs have become the sport’s most urgent and embarrassing problem. But not every fighter is an anti-drug crusader like Tim Kennedy and Georges St. Pierre. Before his star-making beatdown of Diego Brandao at UFC Fight Night 46 on Saturday, Conor McGregor told MMAJunkie how he really feels about performance-enhancing drugs:

“I don’t really care about that stupid s–t,” McGregor said. “I’m just doing my thing. I’m just performing and getting better. I don’t care what anyone else does….Take whatever you want, I’m still going to whoop your ass.”

His words were nearly identical to what former UFC lightweight champion Benson Henderson said about steroids last year, and also echoed those of UFC flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson, who expressed similar sentiments on The MMA Hour recently, after it came out that his last opponent Ali Bagutinov was using EPO going into the fight:

“I don’t care if my opponents are cheating or not,” Johnson said. “I train my butt off to fight the man who is put in front of me whether he’s on steroids or not. I want to play on a level playing field, but if they knew about it beforehand and didn’t stop it, at the same time, I took care of business. No big deal.”

Except it is a big deal, and saying otherwise makes MMA look like a joke.

Look, I get it. Claiming that you don’t care if your opponents are doping scores you badass points, and it can endear you to the segment of the MMA fanbase that really doesn’t care about the ongoing scourge of PEDs. (“I like Conor because he doesn’t bitch about drug-testing like these other pussies. Let ‘em take what they want!” — Darryl T. Justbleedguy)

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CagePotato Ban: Calling For “Superfights” That Are Anything But


(Horrendous photoshop or future UFC poster? The answer may surprise you…)

By Jared Jones

Johny Hendricks has not fought since narrowly defeating Robbie Lawler to earn the welterweight title back at UFC 171. Chris Weidman has defended his middleweight title all of two times, via a broken leg TKO of Anderson Silva and a recent UD win over Lyoto Machida. That neither man has even come close to cleaning out their division has not deterred certain members of the MMA media, however, from proposing the idea of a “superfight” between the two at every possible opportunity.

To his credit, Dana White has rightfully shot down the notion of a Hendricks-Weidman superfight, stating on Inside MMA that ”[Hendricks is] in a very nasty division packed with talent from No. 1 to No. 13. You have a lot of housework to do before you clean out the division and talk about Chris Weidman.”

Yeah, but what about Hendricks vs. Norris?

Weidman has expressed a similar disinterest:

I don’t even think that I’d entertain that. Not that he’s not good or anything like that, but it just doesn’t make any sense to talk about it now. [Hendricks] hasn’t defended his belt yet, and I have more people to fight in my weight class. On top of that, I would never call out a guy who’s smaller than me. I’m a lot bigger than him, I think. I know he walks around heavy but I’d feel like I’d have a huge advantage in that fight, so I’m not calling him out.

And thank science for that. Now if only we can finish this interview without entertaining another ridiculously premature superfight question…

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CagePotato Ban: MMA Fighters Trying to Box Roy Jones Jr. (and Vice Versa)


(Ariel Helwani breaks the news of this potential freak show on MMA Tonight.)

Alright, enough is enough.

For what seems like a decade now, Roy Jones Jr. has been making it his life’s pursuit to box an MMA fighter. First it was Anderson Silva, then it was Nick Diaz, then Rampage Jackson, and finally, Anderson Silva again. And maybe Kimbo Slice in there somewhere. For Christ’s sake, when we first reported on this, Old Dad was a contributor here. Think about that for a second.

And now, it’s being reported that retired UFC veteran Chris “Lights Out” Lytle is currently in negotiations to box Jones in a 10-round, 175-pound contest later this year. That’s right, ten-time bonus winner and one-time Indiana State Senate hopeful Chris Lytle, is going to box Roy Jones Jr.

Even as a big fan of Lytle’s, I cannot understand how this fight is possibly being considered. Lytle retired from MMA in 2011, has not boxed professionally since 2005, and is easily the smallest draw of any of the MMA fighters Jones has been linked to over the years. Say what you want about Lytle’s granite chin, or how much Jones’ skills have deteriorated, or how Lytle was 13-1 as a boxer with wins over…

This shit needs to stop. News flash, MMA fighters & Boxers: It isn’t 1993, and there is no longer a need to prove that one fighting style is better than another. We already know that MMA is superior, we know this, so why are we as a community so insistent on leveling the scales that were tipped in our favor following Toney vs. Couture? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, YOU GUYS.

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CagePotato Ban: Pretending to Care About the Fighters When Your Actions Prove You Don’t


(I respect and adore these brave warriors who risk their WAIT HE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN I MAKE WORKING PART-TIME AT HOT TOPIC?! DIE IN A FIRE, SCUMBAG!)

By Seth Falvo

This is a ban that we’ve been meaning to enact for quite some time. In the MMA community, long-winded rants about issues such as low pay, cruel treatment, and disrespectful articles about the men and women who sacrifice their health for our entertainment are as much a part of being an MMA fan as owning a glittery Affliction shirt. Most fans want you to know that unlike other sports, MMA is a sport whose fans truly and deeply care about the general well-being of the fighters.

And about 90% of those fans are completely full of shit, and need to finally be called on it.

The opportunity to do so has never been better than it’s been these past four days, while UFC veterans have tried to express their displeasure with the organization, only to be told to bite their tongues by the fans. First there was Chris Leben, who actually said point blank that he would have been better off driving a truck instead of fighting for the UFC for the past decade. Next, there was Nate Quarry, who exposed both how little most guys make through sponsorships and how little the UFC actually cares about their fighters. If even half of the fans who claim to respect the fighters actually did, there would be serious pressure on the UFC this week.

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CagePotato Ban: Fighters Being *Too* Honest About Their Sketchy Pasts


(Pictured above: The exception to the rule.)

There isn’t a human being among us who doesn’t have some skeletons in their closet. As a species, we are often genetically predisposed to mental disease, addiction, and all kinds of abnormal behavior. When combined with the meat grinder that is everyday life in the public eye, it is only a matter of time before some of these skeletons, these abnormal tendencies, are uncovered for the world to see and later criticize from our two most prestigious ivory towers, Hindsight and Judgement.

And while there are plenty of combat sports competitors who were raised under “normal” circumstances in a “normal” household, who went on to become poster boys for the “normalness” of their organizations/sports and so on, there are just as many fighters who came from nothing, and when faced with the overwhelming eye of the public, allowed these abnormal tendencies to be placed center stage and eventually destroy them.

One such fighter is Mike Tyson, who after rising to the highest ranks of the boxing world some thirty years ago, saw his fame, fortune, and fanbase crumble beneath the weight of drug addiction and scandal. Nowadays, a wiser, gentler Tyson has emerged, unabashedly sharing the most intimate details of his past in an effort to both restore his shattered reputation and warn young fighters of the potential dangers they could face down the line.

The problem is, “Iron Mike” is being a little *too* candid as of late. Join us after the jump to see what we mean.

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CagePotato Ban: Anything to Do With the Bickering Between Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz


(Nope. Nothing to see here. Everyone just move along. Photo via Iamflashdance.) 

If following loosely MMA-related minor celebrities on Twitter is your thing, there’s a chance that you have already seen Jenna Jameson‘s latest tirade against Tito Ortiz last night. That’s right, the couple known for their crazy, attention-seeking behavior decided to air their dirty laundry on Twitter, and it was just as outrageous and pathetic as you’d expect it to be.

There’s no way I’m covering every tweet from this disaster, so here’s the short version: Jenna accused Tito of taking her children, cheating his drug tests with the UFC and almost killing her in February. As “proof” that Tito Ortiz is a raging drug addict, Jenna tweeted a picture of a drawer that she claimed belonged to Ortiz — which contained a few syringes and a bottle of Ibuprofen — and a picture of the Diet Cokes in her fridge with some prescription bottles above them. Tito responded to MMAJunkie.com by essentially saying “think of the goddamn children” before blaming her for all those losses at the end of his career.

Of course I’m not joking about that last statement. Tito Ortiz said that Jenna Jameson’s erratic behavior distracted him before the fights he lost at the end of his career; presumably because even he has finally realized how pathetic of an excuse “I totally had a cracked skull, you guys” is.

This may be more of a precautionary measure than anything else — who knows if Jenna Jameson will actually come forward with a story about Tito Ortiz almost killing her — but it’s right about now that I think we need to revisit a defunct CagePotato Ban from the days when Ortiz was a free agent claiming to be “very close” to signing with a new promotion every other day:

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CagePotato Ban: MMA Fighters Announcing Their Retirement, Then Immediately Unretiring


(Okay, okay, okay, *you* can do whatever you want, Aleks. Just stop looking at us like that.) 

Earlier today, it was announced that former PRIDE star and perpetual blue-balled can crusher, Aleksander Emelianenko, had signed a multi-fight deal with the Russian organization ProFC. Which would be fine, had Emelianenko not announced his retirement from the sport three months earlier after being shitcanned by M-1 Global. Many of you are probably wondering why we are wasting our time poking fun at a long-since relevant Emelianenko brother when we could be, I dunno, predicting who is most likely to test positive for quaaludes at UFC 159, but Aleks’ recent revelation highlights a growing problem amongst MMA fighters: understanding what the term “retirement” is supposed to mean.

Look, we get it. Everyone from Michael Jordan to Muhammad Ali have announced their retirement from their respective sports in the past, only to recant shortly thereafter. It’s understandable to a degree, especially in the fight game. A guy suffers a couple tough losses, begins to fear for his own health, and decides that it is in his best interest — as well as his family’s — to call it a career before he suffers an injury he cannot come back from. Then, after adjusting to the stale, mundane existence that constitutes the lives of most non-fighters, he begins to convince himself that he’s always had “it,” but has just been held back by issues in his training camp, at home, in their own mind etc. — issues which are now completely behind him. If only it were that simple.

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CagePotato Ban: Anderson Silva’s Managers Being Allowed to Speak in Public

The last time we saw Anderson Silva’s manager Ed Soares, he was telling Inside MMA — with a straight face! — that Michael Bisping would be a good option for Silva’s next middleweight title defense. After all, it’s Soares’s job to help his client get big fights that the fans want to see. (His response when Bas Rutten suggested that Anderson fight UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones: “AhhhhhhIdunno.”)

So now that Bisping has fallen short in yet another “win this one and you get a title shot” match, Soares finally has to accept the reality that Chris Weidman is the most worthy contender to Silva’s crown, right? Right? RIGHT? Well, if you believe that, then you simply don’t know the enigma that is Ed Soares. He’s got another Plan B in mind, and it’s about as left-field as matchmaking gets. Here’s what he told CageFanatic in an interview last week, as transcribed by MMAMania:

(Silva’s next fight) is still up in the air man, we don’t know who that is. Unfortunately Bisping lost which was a big thing but I’m not too sure. I’m not too sure who could be next…we want to fight someone who has a little bit of a name, someone that has as big of a name as possible and that’s on a winning record or a winning run right now. Right now it seems like most of the guys with names have had losses very recently. So, when I think about it, like the only thing that comes to mind and I don’t even know if that would be a possible fight is, you know, like Cung Le is coming off of three wins or something like that [Ed. note: Yeah, or something like that.] where he’s got a little bit of a name, but I mean it’s really hard in that division because it’s so evenly matched all the opponents on any given day one of those guys can beat each other, so you know, once again whoever the UFC decided we’re in…

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CagePotato Ban: Blaming a Failed Drug Test on an Over-the-Counter Supplement


Sheesh, Randy and Chuck have really been hitting the Centrum Silver since they retired, huh?

Ever since the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act was passed in 1994, athletes have been aware that there may be more than just protein in the tubs of powder and bottles of pills found in their local grocery stores. The supplement industry isn’t exactly known for its history of ethical practices, and the deregulation of it has unsurprisingly caused manufacturers to push the limits of what can be snuck into their products. It’s widely been accepted that any supplement one purchases — be it the pre-workout stimulant that a personal trainer recommended or the “hardcore” testosterone booster that the local meathead swears is responsible for his 300+ pound frame — can result in a failed drug test, and that any athlete who uses supplements does so at his or her own risk.

Yet if you’ve followed this sport — or any sport, for that matter — for at least one week, you’re already sick of what’s been dubbed The Tainted Supplements Defense. You know the story by heart, and can recite it word-for-word before the athlete even issues a statement on the failed test: An athlete gets busted with a banned substance in his or her system, claims that an over-the-counter product is responsible for the failed drug test, swears that he or she would never resort to taking steroids, wishes that he or she never took the supplements before the fight and promises that it will never happen again. It’s just likely enough to be true, yet just unfalsifiable enough for a reasonable fan to reject.

Which is just one of many reasons why I am cordially inviting anyone blaming a failed drug test on an over-the-counter supplement to fucking stop doing so from this point forward. No matter what variation of the excuse you’re using, your excuse is bad, and you should feel bad. Let’s start off with the most popular variation:

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CagePotato Ban: Asking if Something Is ‘Fair’


(Hughes has been hunting since he was in camo diapers, but never has he seen anything with a rack that nice.)

By Jason Moles

Over the past few days, there’s been a lot of talk about what is fair and what is not. ESPN’s latest Outside the Lines episode, in which they attempted to sabotage the UFC  find out whether or not the UFC holds a monopoly in mixed martial arts, was mostly focused on how much money entry-level fighters are making compared to top fighters, and how unfair that is. Over and over again we were forced to hear terms like “revenue pie” and “fair share.” And just like that, the MMA fanosphere exploded as everyone with an Internet connection shared their inebriated take on fairness and injustice.

Let me stop you in your tracks right there. Who said life was fair, or even that it should be? Need I remind you just how unfair life is?

Why is it that Chael Sonnen gets busted with elevated testosterone and pleads guilty to money laundering and not only keeps his job, but is now in a number one contender bout at UFC on FOX while Nate Marquardt gets popped for the same thing and is excommunicated from Zuffa, relegated to the unemployment line? How in the world did Michael Vick spend more time behind bars for killing dogs than OJ Simpson and Casey Anthony did combined for killing people?! Does that seem fair to you? Don’t even get me started on the number of times Kenny Florian has fought for a title.

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