11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

Tag: CagePotato ban

CagePotato Ban: Having Your Champion Fight in Non-Title Fights


Remember: The real champion is the guy on the right. Seriously. Both images via Sherdog.

For those of you who haven’t noticed, Bellator’s Light-heavyweight champion Christian M’Pumbu lost his non-title super fight against journeyman Travis Wiuff on Saturday night. Yes, a champion actually lost one of those super fights that are supposed to show the general public how badass he is. Now that we’ve had an additional twenty four hours to digest the incident since we first reported it yesterday, let’s put the fight into perspective: Wiuff decisively beat Bellator’s light-heavyweight champion, Christian M’Pumbu, in a light-heavyweight fight under the Bellator banner on Saturday night. For his efforts, he has more than likely earned a slot in next season’s light-heavyweight tournament. If he wins said tournament, his reward will be a title shot against the best light-heavyweight in Bellator, Christian M’Pumbu. You know, the guy he just defeated Saturday night.

Wait, what the fucking what?

Having your champion fight in non-title super fights is a dubious idea in the first place. We’ve seen other organizations employ it before with less than spectacular results. Now that the worst case scenario played out at Bellator 55, it’s officially time to give this idea the ban that it deserves.

There are three main reasons why:

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CagePotato Ban: Saying You’re an ’0-0 Fighter’ When You’re Not


(Props: MMAFighting.com)

Ben Rothwell‘s stint in the UFC hasn’t gone the way he’d hoped. After a TKO loss to Cain Velasquez during his Octagon debut in October 2009, the former IFL standout followed it up with a unanimous decision win over Gilbert Yvel that cost him his ACL. Now, 15 months later, he’s coming into his UFC 135 match against Mark Hunt this weekend with a completely new mindset. As he told Ariel Helwani:

I don’t even feel like I’m the same person now. I feel like in one year I’ve really made some major changes, and it’s gonna be pretty obvious September 24th what I’m talking about…I’m definitely coming into this fight [and] I’m 0-0. This Ben Rothwell is 0-0 coming in the UFC.”

In a way, this is the inverse of bringing back your old self. Rothwell isn’t looking to re-live the past. He wants to come back as a brand-new Ben — a clean slate, removed from all the real-life setbacks he’s suffered over the last three years. A fictional character, in other words.

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Make It, Take It: Heart is Awesome

So”heart of a champion” is just a meaningless phrase?     PicProps: Esther Lin

Heart is awesome. Guts are more important to cage fighting than Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Balls sell more tickets than Olympic medals. Heart is an intangible, an ethereal quality that fighters seem to either have in abundance, or sorely lack. And while intangibles may offend the sensibilities of those who would analyze fights like they’re backward engineering a damn nuclear centrifuge, it’s that very quality that motivates fans to buy tickets, buy shirts, buy pay per views, buy hotel rooms.  It isn’t simply some writer’s trope that we use to fill space; this is an attribute that, however hard to pin down, has a demonstrable effect.

There is something about competition in sports that speaks directly to primal emotions in all of us. Ok, apparently not all of us, but still. Fans tend to be emotional people, and not always rational. So a non-tangible quality like “heart” is important, if for nothing but a fighter’s popularity.

Guys like Ox Wheeler or Leonard Garcia or Scott Smith that seem to just go out there and wing it, wind up getting in a war with some guy and they beat the piss out of one another and everybody in the crowd goes bonkers and throws their hotdogs in the air and the collective cry is a noise like the damn building is yelling–that’s why that happens. And everyone goes home horny and it’s generally a good time had by all. It’s a purely emotional response, and base, and uneducated…and it’s totally valid.

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CagePotato Ban: Giving It Up for ‘Heart’

Junior Dos Santos Shane Carwin
(Shane may have had heart, balls, guts, and a chin, but they were no match for Junior’s elite-level anatomical-metaphor defense.)

We’re almost a week removed from the magnificent beatdown that Junior dos Santos laid on Shane Carwin, and it’s probably safe to assume that all of the post-fight articles have been written about the main event at UFC 131. Well, all but one.

This article is not specifically about UFC 131 or Shane Carwin — it’s about a certain phrase that has been tied to Carwin’s performance following his three-round beating, and that phrase is “He showed a lot of heart.”

Do a Google search on MMA “showed heart” and look at the names associated with the term: Shane Carwin, Paul Daley, Roy Nelson, and Andrei Arlovski, just to name a few. Any fighter that stood in there and took a beating, yup, he “showed a lot of heart.”

It’s time to retire that phrase, and here’s why…

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CagePotato Ban: The Phrase ‘You Guys’ in Headlines, You Guys

By BG

It’s funny how things we casually write on this site can grow to have a life of their own. From “The Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory” to the “Stockton Heybuddy,” tossed-off gags turn into running gags, which turn into official t-shirt names and UrbanDictionary pages. But there’s one that needs to come to an end right now. I think you guys know what I’m talking about.

“You Guys” first appeared in a CagePotato headline back in September 2009, as part of this classic Dan Quinn video post. At that time, it was already an existing meme that I basically stole from Videogum.com. Initially, I thought it would be a one-and-done sort of thing. Then I used it again. And again. Then, Old Dad* began to use it himself. “You Guys” was spiralling out of control.

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CagePotato Ban: Blaming an Injury for a Lackluster Performance and Saying God Helped You Beat Someone in a Fight


(Talk of bruised ribs and doing god’s work in the cage don’t belong in a post-fight interview)

Watching Anderson Silva get dominated on the feet and the ground by Chael Sonnen for the better part of five rounds Saturday night at UFC 117, a large number of fans and pundits assumed out loud that the middleweight champion must be sick or injured. How else could he be outworked, outstruck and outgrappled by Sonnen for over 23 minutes of a championship bout?

It didn’t take long for Silva to nullify the praise Sonnen’s career defining performance was garnering him as he announced in his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan that his own somewhat lethargic performance was a result of an injury, not Chael’s nearly perfectly executed game plan.

Besides the slick, yet last-ditch armbar-triangle combo he threw up and was able to catch Chael with in the dying seconds of the fifth round, Anderson really didn’t do a whole lot in the fight, but instead of praising Sonnen for contributing more than his half to their "Fight of the Night" awarded bout, he instead chalked it up to a rib injury he sustained in training more than a week prior to the fight.

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Brett Rogers Shaves Mohawk, Violates CagePotato Ban


(Props: FightersOnlyMagazine)

It’s the first time we’ve seen Brett Rogers in months, and what are the very first words out of his mouth? "Basically, man, I feel like I’m kinda going back to my old style." Nooooooooooo! Grim, you are hereby fined 500 PotatoChips for violating our most recent CagePotato Ban, and an additional 250 for shaving off your badass mohawk for some ill-advised reason.  

Anyway, Brett’s back, and is a month out from his Strikeforce heavyweight title fight against Alistair Overeem. But his November loss to Fedor Emelianenko still weighs heavily on him, and he’s hungry for a rematch: "When I went into that fight, I guess my mind was just playing tricks on me…I was expecting him to be a little more aggressive, and I was just playing off of him, but next time I’m just going through him, man. If he comes in to fight like he came in the first time I fought him, he’s definitely gonna get beat. It’s gonna be a murdalization."

As for Alistair, Rogers calls the Demolition Man a "chipmunk" and a "pretty boy to heart," and vows to crush him. "He’s one of those guys that’s really cocky and arrogant…It’s gonna be a fun fight because I don’t like him. He’s talking about he’s gonna smack me when he sees me? I’m definitely gonna put that the test whenever I see him."

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Cage Potato Ban Violation Alert: Brandon Vera


(You may have been listening to us, Brandon. But you certainly weren’t *hearing* us.)

I swear you guys, sometimes it almost seems like these fighters are not constantly checking our site for updates and then living according to what we say like it’s the freaking gospel. Just a little over two weeks ago we enacted one of our irrevocable Cage Potato Bans on the practice of promising to bring back your old self. We’d had more than we could stand of guys vowing that this next fight, this was when we’d once again see that bright-eyed young ass-kicker we’d once known. It struck us as a cloying and empty gesture, and so we banished it from the land forever.

But wouldn’t you know it? Here comes Brandon Vera, wantonly flouting our edict like it meant absolutely nothing to him. As he told MMA Weekly:

"I stopped believing in the hype, I stopped worrying about what people think. I’m going back in there just trying to hurt people again like I used to," Vera said. "When I first came out, I would just bang on people and roll with people just to see them break. I got away from that somehow. I don’t know what happened. I got sucked into the MMA world of trying not to disappoint people. I’m over it, I want to go back in there and start doing things like I used to."

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CagePotato Ban: Bringing Back Your Old Self

Wanderlei Silva pride MMA
(If you see the old Wandy, please call our missing-legend hotline at 1-888-AX-MURDR.) 

“I’ve rededicated myself, I’m completely remotivated. I just need to get back the old Clay — getting them to the ground, going from my strikes to putting them on their back and making them panic in there.”Clay Guida

"This fight you’ll see the old Wanderlei, he never steps back, always forward, forward. This is the real Wanderlei." — Rafael Cordeiro on Wanderlei Silva

"I’m not really worried about who I’m fighting. I’m fighting me right now. I’m fighting against myself, trying to be the old me."Jens Pulver 

"I’m putting [Forrest Griffin] on his back. Back to the old Tito Ortiz, man, my ground and pound where it’s lethal…they’ll be carrying him out on a stretcher."Tito Ortiz

****

For as long as there have been losing streaks in combat sports, we’ve had to suffer through the creaky cliché of fighters promising to return to their "old" selves. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one gladiator in ancient Rome shuffled off to an epic poet after a loss and said, "Yeah, I might have gotten run through with a javelin in my last fight, but I’ve been training hard and you’re all going to see a return to the old Heropoulos, giving the fans at the Colosseum what they paid to see — me disemboweling Christians with a trident." And for some reason, the sound-bite is being employed more and more these days (see above), which is why we’d like to send it on a one-way ferry ride to Ban Island, where it will hopefully never be heard from again. The reasons are quite simple, really…

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Strikeforce News Roundup: Fedor’s Injury Update, Jerry Millen Violates CagePotato Ban + More

Fedor Emelianenko Brett Rogers Strikeforce
("I’m gettin’ too calm and emotionless for this shit." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

— Though it was initially rumored that Fedor Emelianenko could be out-of-action for 4-6 months due to a jacked-up left thumb he suffered in the first round of his fight against Brett Rogers, his condition has been upgraded. Sherdog reports that the Last Emperor underwent surgery yesterday to fix his injury, and will have a half-cast removed in just 4-6 weeks:

[T]he fighter’s reps said two pins were placed in Emelianenko’s hand to correct the dislocation, and that the bone had not fractured… Emelianenko also said that his nose was not fractured, as was earlier suspected…Emelianenko said he planned to return to training, sans striking, upon his return to Russia later this week. M-1 officials said Emelianenko could headline his second co-promoted Strikeforce card in the first quarter of 2010.

— Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos is expected to make her first Strikeforce title defense against Marloes Coenen on January 30th in Miami, according to MMA Weekly. Santos was originally slated to compete on last Saturday’s "Fedor vs. Rogers" card, but her return was pushed back after she suffered an injury during the 2009 ADCC‘s in September.

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