Steroids in MMA
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Tag: CagePotato

CagePotato PSA: So About That Last “CagePotato PSA”…

Free Cage Potato dog
(It’s more “Save” than “Free” now, but the message is still relevant.)

By Jared Jones

Good morning, Nation.

If you’ve visited CagePotato within the past few days, you’ve likely read my inspiring and totally original war speech which triumphantly declared that we will not be be going quietly into the night, nor will we be vanishing without a fight, and so on and so forth. You were likely moved to tears by this heartrending and undeniably epic rally cry, and most certainly hugged your loved ones a little tighter before tucking them into bed, reminding them to never, ever take anything in life for granted.

And while I wasn’t technically wrong in declaring that CP’s flame will forever burn, it turns out that my soaring call to arms might have been a bit, presumptuous…

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CagePotato PSA: No, We Are Not Shutting Down (At Least Not For Now)

By Jared Jones 

Good morning, Nation.

Understandably, the unexpected and immensely saddening departure of Ben Goldstein from CagePotato has led to rampant speculation that we might be closing our doors for good. And to be honest, that very well might be the case. Maybe not today, maybe not a couple weeks from now, but suffice it to say, the loss of BG from the site he built from the ground up — a site that has endlessly entertained hundreds of thousands of tens of dozens of us for over 7 years — hit hard here at Castle Cagepotato. A lot is up in the air right now regarding our future, and I wish I had more answers to put your minds at ease (and also mine, because you know, I kind of work here).

But if this really is the end, what a shame it would be. In a media landscape that so often seems content with blind obedience, CagePotato has served as one of the few voices of dissent — and dare I say it, reason — throughout the years. And while it’s true that we may take that dissent a little far at times, we do so only out of a genuine love for the inspiring, depressing, overly-serious, and routinely absurd sport that is mixed martial arts, and the hope that it may one day become the global juggernaut it aims to be. Like any other sport, MMA needs to be kept in check and called on its bullshit in order to truly progress, and the loss of guys like BG seems to indicate that fewer and fewer people are willing to heed that call.

I’ve been a writer at CagePotato for over three years. Before that, I was a commenter — a lone member in CP’s then-bustling community of sarcastic a-holes and bitter trolls. Ben offered me a shot at the big mid time directly out of college, and I’ve been dealing with a near constant barrage of angry readers and angrier tweeters ever since. I’ve loved every last second of it (even skeletor), so believe me when I say that I have a lot invested in what CP has become, and what it will be moving forward.

But it’s like I said, I don’t have all (or any) of the answers right now. What I do know is that as it stands, myself, Mike Fagan, and Alex Giardini will continue to steer this ghost ship into its uncertain future. We may never be able to replicate what CagePotato was like during the Goldstein Era™, and truthfully, we probably won’t even try to. Ben’s voice was as unique and intuitive as any in the sport, and any attempt to replicate that voice would only draw unflattering comparisons to the genuine article.

What we are going to do, however, is rise from the ashes like the mightiest, most triumphant goddamn Phoenix you’ve ever seen. Like we did when Old Dad left. Like we did when we nearly shut down by the UFC that one time and also that other time. Like we’ve done time and time again. We were quoted by the goddamn New Yorker, goddammit, and I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to let this place go out without a goddamn fight. This means branching out. Trying new ideas. Crafting unique, hard-hitting, and consistently humorous content. And most importantly, it means collaborating with the true voice of CagePotato: You, the readers.

This is a call to arms, Potato Nation. We need your support, your input now more than ever. Do you have a story pitch, a potential lead, or a half-brained idea in need of development? Contact us. Contact me. I promise, I will do my absolute best to hear out every last one of you. And as long as you’re willing to work for free, hell, I’ll even get you published. You gotta start building that fancy writer’s resume somewhere, right?

The point is, we can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July 23rd of January will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world CagePotato Army declared in one voice:

“We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We’re going to live on!
We’re going to survive!”

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Ten Unrelated Thoughts About Running a Mid-Level MMA Blog — A Goodbye Letter From BG


(Author’s note: Please listen to this song while reading the column below. When it ends, listen to it again.)

By Ben Goldstein

1. I was 26, I had just gotten fired for the first time, and I was scared about making rent in New York without a job. A guy I sort of knew hired me to launch a blog about MMA for a media company based in Los Angeles. It was more money that I was making as a low-level editor for a low-level men’s magazine, and I could do it from home. Seemed like a better plan than unemployment.

2. My God, that was over seven years ago. George W. Bush was president. MMA was “the world’s fastest growing sport.” Everything seemed possible.

3. Running CagePotato was the greatest job I ever had because I could write what I wanted without being edited or censored. Developing a roster of like-minded outlaw-writers was a blast (see list of thank-yous, below), and the job helped me discover talents I didn’t even know I possessed. Plus, working from home meant I never had to use an office bathroom stall next to a co-worker after lunch. Some of you don’t understand what a luxury that is.

4. Running CagePotato was the hardest job I ever had because it was the first time I had genuine responsibility in my professional life. I was judged for my site’s performance, and people depended on me showing up every day. Sometimes, I got yelled at.

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Goodnight, MMA


(Arguably my lasting contribution to MMA writing)

By Matt Saccaro

This is the last post I’ll ever be making at CagePotato, and this is the last day I’ll ever be tweeting for CagePotato. This is honestly one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. I love CagePotato and I feel so sad leaving, but I’m getting a real media job at a website I adore (assistant social media editor at Salon).

I’m not really sure what to say in a goodbye post. I remember once last year, some Bellator prelim fighter retired. He left his gloves in the ring and friend-of-CagePotato Mike Fagan hilariously buried the guy, comparing this jobber leaving his gloves in the cage to a supermarket clerk leaving his apron in the store parking lot. That’s how I kind of feel with this post. In terms of MMA “journalism,” I didn’t really do anything that spectacular or memorable. I think my lasting contribution to the sport will be asking Ronda Rousey whether she moderated a Pokemon forum in her youth. It’s been three years since I asked and I still see people favoriting that tweet every couple of months.

Still, MMA writing meant a lot to me (even if I didn’t always like the sport or the MMA media) and gave me a direction in life when I didn’t necessarily have one.

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Hunt vs. Nelson: Woefully Incomplete Video Highlights


(The video is so shitty the embed code wouldn’t even work in our CMS. So instead here’s a link to the video and a picture of a bro-hug. / Photo via Getty.)

You know what’s bullshit?

When a website promises “full fight video highlights” and offers so much less than that.

We present to you these headlines:

Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson Full Fight Video Highlights.

UFC Fight Night: Hunt vs. Nelson Full Fight Video Highlights.

Video: Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson Fight Video Highlights from UFC Fight Night 52.

Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson Fight Video Highlights.

Watch the video we linked above and tell us those headlines are accurate.

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NBD, But CagePotato Was Just Quoted By THE F*CKING NEW YORKER


(This glorious occasion calls for only the most glorious of gifs, so take it away, Howard Dean.)

So recently, The New Yorker ran a profile on women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey, entitled, “Mean Girl: Why the world’s best female fighter loves to be hated.” Among the topics covered were Rousey’s weight-cutting routine/diet, her rise to prominence in MMA, her budding film career, and her infamous snubbing of Miesha Tate following their rematch at UFC 168. It hit on most of the notes we’ve come to expect in an article about Rousey — she’s confident bordering on crazy, she’s both beauty and the beast (#nailedit), etc. — but perhaps most interesting about The New Yorker’s profile of Rousey was the sources that the author, Kelefa Sanneh, chose to reference.

Being the classy publication that The New Yorker is, one might assume that they would pull their quotes about Rousey from respected, credentialed members of the MMA media, like Old Dad or Ariel Helwani, or better yet, forgo the cheap, bottom-barrel ramblings of online media in general to quote something from the actual printed press, right?

HAHA NOPE THEY ONLY QUOTED US. (*phones D. White, tells him to bite my bird*)

The above selection, taken from the second paragraph of the piece (a highly underrated paragraph in any article, IMO), quotes not only our Hot Potato gallery of Rousey from back in 2011, but this article published just last May. Checkmate, other MMA blogs. Check. Mate.

Let it be written that on this day, validation was spelled C-A-G-E-P-O-T-A-T-O.

After the jump: A few more interesting takeaways from The New Yorker’s profile of Rousey, and Dana White’s ongoing efforts to bury his former fighters.

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The Unsupportable Opinion: MMA/The UFC Is NOT Slowly Swirling Down the Shitter


(MMA’s heyday, according to at least one guy.)

“The night is always darkest before the dawn.” — Two-Face, quoting Plato or some shit.

MMA is facing a crisis, Nation. Or so we’re being told. Not one of irrelevance, a lack of funding, or societal ignorance like it faced during the so-called “Dark Ages,” but one of complacency, of apathy. Over the past several years, we have seen the sport rise to a level of popularity we previously thought unattainable. With more major network deals, cross-promotion with major brands, and movies featuring UFC stars popping up by the day, it’s hard to argue that MMA is exactly struggling to generate interest amongst fans.

But somewhere between the death of Strikeforce and the Fight Pass subscriptions, MMA (or at least, its premiere organization) reached a tipping point. Despite an ever-burgeoning roster, the quality of the average card started to slip. Viewership began to decline. Truly “stacked” cards started to come further and further between, as did the number of marketable stars present on them.

While the UFC was busy making efforts to dominate the fucking world, its stateside presence slowly began to diminish with each lackluster “Fight Night” card, the majority of which have been spread across three channels and subscriptions-only networks. It isn’t helping that the UFC is now nickel and diming those of us hoping to watch their international events and prelims, adding to the growing “UFC is in trouble” sentiment among fans. The UFC has gotten greedy, and our view of the sport has slowly begun to shift from optimistic to apathetic as a result.

Is it simply a case of the UFC expanding too fast and oversaturating it’s niche market, as many followers of the sport will tell you? Or have fans simply lost interest in the sport now that it has become a globally recognized, increasingly expensive commodity?

Actually, the answer is a firm “no” to both of those questions. MMA is NOT rapidly descending into the watered-down, passionless, corporate-sponsored hellscape we all think it is, and everyone needs to man (or woman) the fuck up and stop acting like the sport is a lost cause.

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Sexy Miesha Tate GIFs, Old-School Nick Diaz Photos, And More Highlights From the CagePotato Tumblr


(Hey, is that a Timex?)

We’re celebrating something special today, Potato Nation: CagePotato’s Tumblr has surpassed 100 followers!

We’re very grateful that our fans and many members of Tumblr’s MMA community have followed us. If you haven’t yet, here are some of the highlights from our first few weeks that you missed — and that you’ll still be missing on a regular basis until you follow us right here.

- To start off, we have an excellent GIF set of Miesha Tate from this season of TUF. This, for obvious reasons, is our most successful post to date.

- There exists a statue of one kid armbarring another kid. It’s in Germany although I’d have expected something like that to be in Brazil instead (or even Japan because of their Judo connection).

- World champions Renan Barao and Jose Aldo in a sparring match. They’re likely not going 100%, but it’s still pretty cool to watch.

See what Conor McGregor was doing with his money, as well as some sick, old-school UFC artwork after the jump.

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PSA: Follow the CagePotatoMMA Tumblr Page for Even More of What You Love


(The Potato Empire continues its virus-like expansion. None shall be spared.)

Hey Potato Nation!

We have an announcement to make: CagePotato has its own Tumblr page now! On our new Tumblr, we’ll be sharing the MMA news and opinions you know and love, kick-ass MMA videos from the very depths of the Internet, our frequently snarky but never unjustified commentary, and maybe we’ll even be re-blogging a few things while we’re at it.

Fun fact: Tumblr and CagePotato were founded in the same year. Who knows, maybe yahoo CEO Marisa Mayer is eyeing CagePotato right now, ready to swoop in with a billion-dollar acquisition. We can dream, right?

Anyway, our Tumblr page is going to be a place where we share the content that’s a little too much for Twitter but not pressing enough to warrant its posting it on the site. We hope you’ll enjoy it.

Follow the CagePotato Tumblr here: CagePotatoMMA.tumblr.com

Matt Saccaro

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[UPDATED] Win a CagePotato Signature Shirt in the Return of the Caption Contest!

We’ll be the first to admit that sometimes, we’re so busy trying to report on the day-to-day happenings of the MMA world that we occasionally (re:often) lose sight of some of the benefits of being an MMA site that dabbles in everything from lowbrow to subpar comedy. Mainly, our ability to give out free shit to the funniest Taters trolling the comments sections (or the forums if they are really, really lonely).

That’s why we are proud to announce that, in honor of our mobile site finally being up and running, we will be bringing back the caption contests and comments of the week on a regular basis here at CagePotato, in the hopes that you guys will stop treating us like the goth kid with psoriasis at the MMA lunch table. Believe it or not, as sour as your opinions often are, we still enjoy hearing them, especially when they come in the form of a relentlessly dark or unnecessarily crass assessment of a candid photo.

Our newest caption contest awaits you after the jump, and we will be giving our signature “We Pull No Punches” shirts (pictures below) to the top three entries. So feel free to swing for the fences on this one as many times as your heart desires.

And today’s photo is…

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